Holding a Hero

by Layne, Lyssa

  “Let her sue. I won’t back down.” He’d won that fight fair and square. “She doesn’t have a leg to stand on. We never signed anything.”

  “I’m surprised the court didn’t award it to her in the divorce settlement.” Joel sighed.

  “They didn’t because I own it,” Johnny reminded him. “I produced the thing. Paid for everything. Even loaned my band. You know all this…why are we even talking about it again?”

  Joel shrugged. “Just trying to cut off a snake’s head before it bites us in the butt.”

  “Teal’s the least of our problems,” Johnny said. “Keeping my career going is the most important thing right now.”

  “I know. I know.” Joel shivered. “Damn, it’s cold.”

  “It ain’t L.A.”

  “You like it here. Maybe even love it.” Joel stared at Cowboy as if he’d never seen him before. “I thought you were a city boy like me.”

  “I guess I’ve missed being outdoors more than I realized. My dad would love this. I wish he could have come.” He turned nostalgic. “Nothing like getting back to my roots to trigger creativity, huh?”

  Joel shuddered. “Better watch it, or next thing you know you’re going to pick up a fiddle and join a hillbilly band.”

  “Maybe I will. There could be worse things,” Johnny said. “At least those guys have fun playing music. It’s not all about the bottom line for them.”

  “Dear God. I hope you’re kidding.” Joel sounded as if Johnny planned to jump off one of the surrounding cliffs. He stared at him with a deep frown. “There’s nothing wrong with making lots of money. Boatloads of cash have made us all very happy as I recall.”

  “I’m not throwing it all away,” Johnny reassured his manager. “Stop worrying about Teal and start focusing on how we can make this record rock. Okay?”

  “Okay.” Joel sounded as if he were headed toward the gallows.

  Johnny slapped his friend on the shoulder again. “Come on, man, cheer up. Have I ever steered us wrong when it comes to music?” At Joel’s sour look, he grinned. “Besides Heartbeat? Trust me. I’m back in the game. Now come on ’cause I’m starving.”

  “I can’t eat. I feel sick,” Joel muttered as he turned toward the cook tent.

  Johnny, on the other hand, felt more alive than he had in a year. The prospect of adding songs to the new CD, especially the one kicking around in his head, excited him like nothing had for a long time. He’d only been half kidding about joining a hillbilly band and having a good time. Music hadn’t been fun in forever. It was past time to get that old feeling back.

  Hopefully, the band would catch his excitement, and that enthusiasm would carry through onto the new CD. If he was keyed up about the record, the fans would hopefully catch his fever, too.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Johnny ate more than he should, finally setting his plate aside with a happy sigh. He patted his stomach. “That was wonderful.”

  Shannon blushed. “It’s just stew.”

  “Delicious,” he said. “Truly.”

  Taking his plate, Shannon said, “Glad you enjoyed it. There’s apple crumb cake for dessert.”

  Johnny groaned. “How about you come to L.A. and cook for me all the time?”

  “I’d rather be kicked in the leg by one of the mules,” she said with absolute honesty.

  He guffawed. “Don’t hold back, tell me how you really feel.”

  She shrugged. “I love my life here and I don’t want to go to any big smoggy city.”

  “Me either.” Ryan stood and placed his plate in the steaming dishwater. “Crime, crowds. Who needs it?”

  “We do,” Stoney said. “Well, not the crime part. But the crowds. Otherwise we don’t have a career.”

  “Do you have to live in the city, though?” Shannon washed the plates in a big pot of boiling water, rinsed in another, then dried and placed them in the wooden boxes by the wall. “When you’re not touring and everything? You could live anywhere, right?”

  Johnny nodded slowly. He’d never considered living anywhere but L.A. after his career took off. “I probably could, but it would make writing and recording a little more difficult.”

  He glanced at Montana. She listened, but made no comment. What was she thinking? She’d already told him she wouldn’t live in a city. Not that it mattered. He wasn’t asking her to move.

  “Not to mention you’d miss The Cave and all the bitches that go along with fame,” Stoney said.

  “I didn’t miss them when I was married,” Johnny reminded him.

  Stoney threw a glove at him. “You’re not married now.”

  He dodged the missile. “No. And I’m not going to be again.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Montana flinch. He’d only spoken the truth, not meaning to injure her. He’d tried and failed at marriage. He had no desire to repeat that particular mistake.

  An affair, on the other hand, he had no qualms with.

  To take his thoughts off the leggy blonde who had his mind going places he’d vowed to forget, he said, “I need to talk to you and Adrian about changing some of the tracks on the CD.”

  Stoney stuck his little finger in his ear and twisted it in an exaggerated motion. Finally he said, “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  Joel stood. “Cowboy, can we take this outside?”

  “Yeah. Let’s go see Adrian.” Johnny climbed to his feet and grabbed a bottle of vodka and three cups. “She needs to be in on this, too.” He smiled at Shannon. “Save us some of that cake, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  As they passed Montana he risked a glance at her, but she ignored him, seemingly engrossed in her boots. The three of them walked in silence through the cold night. Even Joel kept his normal bitching to himself.

  Inside the girls’ tent, Adrian lay on her cot. She lifted her head when they entered. “Hey! Wrong house. You’re across the way.”

  “It’s cold in here. You warm enough?” Johnny moved to the little camp stove and added a couple logs to the glowing embers in the bottom. “That’s better.” He sat on the cot closest to the door. “How’re you feeling, babe?”

  “Lousy. What’s up? Am I dying? All three of you showing up like this…”

  Stoney and Joel sat on the farthest cot in the small canvas shelter, their expressions serious.

  “All right, you guys are scaring me. Did you come to see me before I kick the bucket?” Adrian asked, her tone teasing, but she frowned.

  “Nothing like that,” Johnny assured her. “But we need to talk before you leave in the morning.”

  “About what?”

  “Career suicide,” Joel muttered.

  Adrian shot a glance between the men. “I don’t understand.”

  As he poured vodka into three cups, Johnny said, “I’ve been thinking about the new CD. I think it needs to be tweaked.” He handed Joel and Stoney each a cup. “You guys were right about Heartbeat. It wasn’t us, it was too country.”

  Stoney frowned. “What does that have to do with Betrayed?”

  Johnny took a deep breath. Showtime. “I think this one is too much of the same thing. I was so pissed off by Teal and Keifer’s shit that every song I wrote came out as rants. The good news is there’s some damn good music there. The bad news is I now think there’s too much of a country sound again.”

  “Are you suggesting a whole new album?” Stoney downed his drink and held out his cup for more.

  “No.” Johnny filled it, glad his friend hadn’t immediately laughed him off. “I want to axe about a third of the songs and replace them with our old sound—the one that made us the band we are.”

  “Do you think we can record that many new songs and still get it on the shelves on schedule?” Stoney didn’t dismiss his plan and Adrian listened intently, but didn’t weigh in.

  “I do. We have a lot of old stuff already recorded we can look at,” Johnny said. “I know some of you have some ideas you pitched and I rejected. Let’s take another listen.”

>   Adrian brightened. “Sweet.”

  “There’s one thing,” Johnny said. “I want to put an unrecorded song on the CD. We’d have to get it down, but I think we can.”

  “What is it?” Adrian asked.

  “I’m working on the lyrics. They’re still rough.” Johnny wasn’t ready to share yet. The song in his head was private. His alone. Eventually he’d have to let them hear it, but not today.

  “Do we have time to do all this?” Stoney asked again.

  “I think so,” Johnny told him. “I’m not going to lie. We’re going to have to kick it hard when we get home, but I think it’s important, or I wouldn’t have suggested any of this.”

  “I think it’s a good idea.” Adrian coughed. “I always thought Heartbeat was too country- fried for us, but you’re our fearless leader and it’s what you wanted…”

  Ignoring her unsubtle I told you so, Johnny looked at Stoney. “What’re your thoughts?”

  “I’m here for you, man. I’ll do whatever you decide. I’ll admit I’m not really crazy about everything on the new CD, but at least we’re out of your love-struck period.” Stoney grinned. “If you want to change it up, I’m in.”

  Joel had been silent. He’d been staring at his fingernails like he’d never seen them before. “What’s brought on this change of heart?”

  “Getting out of L.A., I think.” Finally getting over Teal. He left that unspoken. “I know it’s a lot of work, but I think it’s the right direction. We can’t afford another misstep. And I’m afraid Betrayed will be one without adjustments.”

  “The fans hated Heartbeat with a passion,” Stoney said with brutal honesty. “If we fuck up with another one we might as well hang up our guitars.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with the occasional ballad,” Adrian said. “But we just had too many for one record.”

  “Betrayed has a completely different sound than Heartbeat.” Joel stood and began to pace. “I thought that’s what you wanted, Cowboy. To go in a different direction—”

  “I did. Do. But I think we’ve spun away from our rock roots to another country album.” He stared into his cup. “We’re about to release angry-girl music in country form and I don’t like it.”

  The others laughed, but no one disputed his claim.

  “When you guys get to town, start making a list of songs to replace at least three, maybe four, on Betrayed.” Johnny looked between them. “Agreed?”

  “Sounds good,” Stoney said.

  Adrian nodded. “Yeah.”

  Joel’s response was lukewarm. “I’ll call the others when I have cell service.”

  “Good.” Johnny felt like he’d run a marathon, but a huge weight had also just lifted off his shoulders. He didn’t know what he expected, but relief filled him that his friends hadn’t balked at his suggestions. Joel’s reluctance didn’t surprise him; his manager was always hesitant to spend money. Most times that made Johnny very happy.

  This time he wanted to spend whatever it took to make the CD successful. If it took everything he had, so be it. A lot of his fans had drifted away after the release of Heartbeat. Worse, radio had refused to play any of their releases. Rock fans had said he’d gone country; the country stations thought him too rock. He was determined to bring them all back.

  For a while, he’d lost his mind with his grief over Teal and Keifer. But that cloud had finally lifted and he could see clearly now. If he followed up his love song album with another country sounding although angry break-up record, he realized he might as well run off the last of his fans with a stick. They wanted to hear him sing his signature dirty white boy tunes. If he wanted to change direction, he needed to do it a little slower. Spoon feed his listeners, not force it down their throats with a knife and fork.

  He’d never planned to become a country artist. Rock-n-roll was more his style. When he looked back, he realized he had made an abrupt left turn with no signal light. It was no wonder his fans got pissed. Hell, he would have been mad, too.

  The band had tried to tell him, but he’d overruled them.

  Hopefully it wasn’t too late to turn things around.

  ~*~

  Shannon dried the last dish and stored it. “What do you think they’re talking about?”

  Montana shrugged. “Who knows?”

  “Music?” Ryan guessed.

  “Probably. I have no idea,” Montana said. What happened in Johnny’s personal life was none of her business. Best if she remembered that. “We should discuss tomorrow. There’s a lot of food here. Too much for two people so take most of it. I don’t want it to spoil.”

  “Will you be okay here without Ryan and me?” Shannon asked. “You’ll have a lot on your plate with both guiding and cooking.”

  “It’s only two people,” she said. “I can manage.”

  “The food, yeah. But can you hold off Johnny with his constant come-ons?” Shannon asked point blank. “Because Ryan could come back to guide…”

  “I’ll be fine.” Montana squirmed under the scrutiny of her two close friends. “I can handle Johnny.”

  “He’s hoping you’ll handle him,” Shannon muttered.

  Ryan chuckled. “A blind man could pick up on that one.”

  “Stop,” Montana said. “Nothing’s going to happen. He’s here to hunt. I’m going to guide him.”

  “He’s hunting a conquest,” Ryan said. “I haven’t said anything because you’re a grown woman, but the dude is determined to get you in bed.”

  Montana flushed. “I’m just as determined he’s not.”

  Ryan pointed at Shannon. “You’re no different, except the person after you is female.”

  “Adrian’s nice,” Shannon said. “But I’m not gay. She knows that.”

  Ryan snorted. “Knows it or not, she’s hot for you.”

  “You’re just jealous.” Shannon glared at him. “Because the girl isn’t all over you.”

  “Right. That’s it.” He got up and pulled on his coat with jerky movements. “I give up. You’re both going to get hurt. I’m going to say ‘I told you so’ now so I won’t have to when it happens. Right now, I’m going to check the horses.” He vanished into the dark.

  For a few minutes they sat in stunned silence. Ryan never butted into their love lives. Usually, he went in the complete opposite direction, running when any mention of relationships came up around him.

  “What the hell brought that on?” Shannon frowned. “My brother is losing his mind.”

  “We both know he’s not,” Montana said quietly.

  Shannon shook her head. “I’m not having an affair with Adrian. Are you having one with Johnny?”

  “Not yet.”

  Sinking into the chair nearest the fire, Shannon stared at her. “So you’re going for it?”

  “I don’t know,” Montana said truthfully. “I almost went all crazy today and jumped him, but we were in the woods and he said he wasn’t going to do me against a tree like a bear.”

  “Just keep what I said in mind.” Shannon poured them both a cup of coffee and added a slug of Kahlua.

  Montana took a mug and sipped the hot, sweet concoction. “I know.”

  “Just don’t fall in love,” Shannon warned. “Whatever you do.”

  “No worries.” Montana laughed, but her heart twisted into a tight knot. Why did the guy have to be unattainable? Not to mention one who would never be faithful? She was way too attracted to him. Falling in love would be easy…if she allowed herself.

  Montana stood. “We better pack some of the food. I didn’t leave much at home. It’s a shame that Adrian has gotten sick and missed out on her hunt.”

  Working together, they loaded most of the groceries, leaving only basics. Montana hadn’t been kidding when she told Johnny cooking wasn’t her strong suit. When she was growing up, she and her dad had survived on simple but filling meals. He’d liked simple and she’d never had the urge to do more or learn how to fix anything fancy.

  Ryan slipped back inside the
tent and brushed snow off his coat. “It’s really coming down out there.”

  “How much?” Montana asked.

  “A lot.” He removed his hat and outerwear. “I have a feeling getting out tomorrow is going to be a real bitch.”

  “Great. I thought I might go back up to Windy Peak and see if I could spot the bull Johnny shot at. But if the snow’s too deep, I won’t risk it.”

  “I wouldn’t. I’d go lower. The storm will drive the elk down anyway.” He took a seat and glanced at the packed grub boxes. “This ready to go?”

  “Yeah. Bring the mules back to pack out on Saturday, okay?”

  “No problem.”

  “I’ll come, too,” Shannon promised.

  “I bet Rose would like to ride along if the weather’s decent,” Montana suggested, remembering how her friend had made her promise an introduction to Johnny. A little ripple of jealousy crimped her stomach. Ridiculous. Rose was welcome to him.

  “I’ll call her.” Shannon looked around. “Except for packing our sleeping bags in the morning, I think that’s everything.”

  Montana wondered what Rose would think if she knew Montana had been kissed by the rock star, not once, but twice.

  She’d love it.

  Like Shannon, she’d tell Montana to go for it and live a little. She’d lectured a million times to not let Tom steal her future. Trouble was there was no future in Johnny Cortez.

  Montana sighed. No matter how many times she tried to rearrange it, the picture always looked the same—gray as the snow clouds outside.

  The tent door slipped open and Johnny, Stoney and Joel all came inside. Like Ryan, they were covered in snow.

  “Fuck, it’s a mess out there,” Johnny said. “A perfect night for a campfire, a hot toddy and some song.” He winked at Shannon. “And a little pussy to top it off.”

  She giggled.

  Montana’s panties dampened at the thought.

  In what had already become routine, they took their seats and poured drinks. Montana had never drunk so much in her life as she had in the last few days with this group of people. Did they ever do anything without alcohol?