Mangled Hearts: Francesca and Cade (Scarred Hearts)

by Felicia Tatum

Chapter Twenty-Nine-Francesca

  “Cade…I came here today determined to tell you how I felt…so here it goes. I think I fell in love with you the day you offered me crackers. I don’t know why I have this strong connection to you, how to prevent it, how to stop it, but I do know it’s there. I look at you and I see my future. Now, I don’t know if it’ll work. I know it won’t be easy, because let’s face it, nothing worth it ever is. I can’t live one more day without you knowing how I feel,” I said, peering at him and fighting back the tears. I blinked several times, pushing them back, and continued. “I’m so proud of you for getting help, Cade. You don’t know how happy that makes me. I worried about you when we were younger, and I worry now. I am here for you, anything you need. I don’t want to go three months without talking to you, but if it means that you’ll be better and can actually be in this with me, then I can deal.” I reached over, taking his hand in mine. “You make me whole, Cade Kelling.”

  He was around the table in seconds, pulling me up from the chair and crushing his lips to mine. His mouth was rough, needy as he devoured me. His tongue claimed mine. He was taking what was his--me--and letting me know. I snaked my arms up his chest, and around his neck, pulling and twisting strands of his soft hair, earning a groan from him. We finally broke, our chests heaving as we caught our breath.

  “Francesca,” he said huskily, leaning his forehead to mine. “You are amazing. Please say you’ll wait for me to get sober and let’s try this,” he pleaded with me. His eyes searched mine, and I saw the uneasiness he felt.

  I placed my palms on his hard chest, gripping him lightly. “It’ll always be you, Cade. And if I have to wait three years, I will, as long as it means you’ll come back to me as a whole person. I want you to be who I know you can be. The person I see when I look at you…but you have to get ahold of the addiction. We can’t work if you don’t,” I told him, reaching up and kissing him lightly on the cheek. “I want you and only you.”

  He smiled widely, making my stomach flop. He licked his huge, pouty lips and said, “I promise. For us, I will do this and we’ll be amazing.”

  I knew there was a possibility it wouldn’t work. Cade’s addiction would always be a problem, something we would have to deal with, and I was ok with that. If it meant I could feel the oneness, the happiness, and the excitement I felt only with him, I would help him. Together, we could do anything.

  “Let’s go let me kick ass in court,” I said, untangling myself from his arms.

  “Anything for you, Francesca,” he stated, smiling widely and following me.

  ###

  The judge looked at Cade wearily as I spoke. My voice started out shaky, but I gained confidence after the initial argument. Cade watched me while exuding confidence. We were in general session court, which meant a lot of others were there as well, and once I explained Cade’s alcoholism and his determination to get help, the case was closed. He got thirty hours of community service, some of which he could complete in rehab, and we were free to go. I basically won my first case. The bar owner was pissed off, wanting Cade in jail. He hadn’t even damaged the man’s property, so I didn’t know why he was out for blood, but I was ecstatic he didn’t get it. We walked out, both of our faces glowing with delight. Reid waited for us on the bench, his leg tapping frantically. His boredom disappeared once he saw us looking so gleeful, and he stood to greet us.

  “How did it go?” he asked us, his smile wide and excited. He was nice. Cade introduced me right before we went in the courtroom, and Reid instantly treated me like a friend. His personality was contagious and I liked his easygoing nature. I believed he would be a great help for Cade in rehab.

  “Thirty hours community service, some of which can be completed in rehab,” I grinned, squeezing Cade’s arm and winking at him.

  “Yeah, I have an amazing lawyer,” he joked, giving a cocky gaze in my direction.

  I playfully smacked him, rolling my eyes. “Cheesy.”

  Reid broke in, seemingly pleased with our interaction. “I’m so sorry to break this up, but we have to get back. The nurses will need to check your vitals since they haven’t in a while.”

  Panic gripped me. I’d just gotten Cade back and now he was leaving for three months, possibly more. I turned to face him, my hands shakily reaching to grip his arms. “Cade…why are they checking your vitals? Are you ok? You said you were…” I stammered out. I looked him over, taking in every feature. His bright blue eyes looked tired, but they were still enough to make me swoon under his gaze. His brown hair was ruffled and ready for me to run my fingers through. His body drew me in, calling me to close the distance. I wanted to give in, no, needed to give in, but couldn’t. Not in the courtroom.

  He broke our gaze, turning to Reid. “Could we have maybe twenty minutes in the car? I don’t get to see her for three months,” he said sadly.

  Reid looked at us both, mentally debating on what to do. He finally relented, nodding his head and guiding us to the door. We followed, careful to not draw attention to our relationship with each other. It wouldn’t affect the decision, but I didn’t want other lawyers deciding my reputation before I got my name out there. We walked towards Reid’s car and he nodded for us to get in. He stood, leaned against the hood, as we climbed inside.

  “Francesca, I’m fine. The facility keeps tabs on our vitals during the detoxing stage because for some people it gets severe. I’m past the worst, so I’m clear. They just have to keep records,” he explained.

  “I’m worried about you,” I choked out. I could feel the tears begging to break free.

  His rough, calloused fingers softly caressed my cheek. “Don’t. I’ll be ok. Reid is one of the sponsors. He’ll be there for a lot of it, and he’s decided we should be friends, so I doubt I can get rid of him,” he said lightly.

  “I like him. I think he’ll be good for you. He seems to care,” I told him, looking out the front window to where Reid stood with his back to us. “Maybe it won’t be so bad making a friend while you’re there.”

  “Yeah, I’m just not in the mood for the excited happiness he contains,” he admitted. “He’s been in my position, though, you know? It’ll be good to talk to him, I guess. Cason can only understand so much.”

  “He’s a good brother,” I told him, resting my head on the back of the chair. “I’m gonna miss you. I only got you back a couple of weeks ago,” I sniffled. The tears were freely falling now. I didn’t bother to try and stop them.

  “I’ll call and write. It’ll be like I’m still right here,” he assured me, his thumb tracing circles on my arm. “Please, don’t be upset. You’ll be busy with work and stuff, so the time will fly by.”

  “I quit, Cade,” I groaned out. I shifted my eyes sideways to look at him, watching the shock register on his face. It was entertaining.

  His blue eyes bulged, his mouth falling open slightly. “Why in the world did you quit? You couldn’t have, you just were in there with me,” he stammered, his hands waving around in the air as he spoke.

  I bit my lip, hiding the smile that was trying to break free. “I did represent you, because I called your dad and explained the situation. I quit because the firm wasn’t respecting me, they were taking advantage. It wasn’t right. So…I’m going to open my own firm. I’m starting everything next week,” I grinned when I was finished explaining.

  His lips mirrored mine as he reached over, pulling me close. “You will be great, Francesca. That is amazing,” he whispered in my ear. He leaned away, looking at me with pride filled eyes. “You’re so wonderful. I can’t believe you want me.”

  “Cade, how could I not want you? You make me feel…alive.”

  His lips found mine, gently tugging and caressing as he ravaged me with his tongue. I knew this was the last kiss we would share for a while. The finality of it was depressing, making us both much more eager. Our connection deepened, leaving me breathless and dizzy when we eventually broke. He gazed into my eyes, memorizing every inch of my face, before sp
eaking again. “I’ll miss you. And you make me feel more than alive….” He gave me a tiny peck on the top of my nose, then a regretful expression replaced his happy one. “Reid is fidgeting. I think it’s time to go,” he said, staring out the window and lifting a finger to let Reid know he understood.

  “Be strong, Cade. I know you can do this. I know.” I emphasized.

  He nodded, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I inhaled his scent, realizing it was a bit different now that it wasn’t masked by alcohol. I etched him into my memory, this moment in time one I’d never forget. I released him, climbing out of the car. I could feel his eyes following my every move. Reid smiled at me sweetly, showing he understood.

  “Take care of him, Reid.”

  “I will,” he said, patting me gently on the back. I headed to my car, not looking back. I couldn’t stand seeing him watching me with the sadness in his eyes. They were gone when I finally got the nerve to turn in his direction.

  ###

  Hamlet sensed my despair and didn’t leave my side the rest of the day. I stayed strong, working on filling out paperwork to get permits and licenses to open my firm. I knew Cade would be ok. This was best for both of us. Once he was in recovery, we would be able to be together…something new for us. We fell in love nine years ago and only just confessed our feelings for one another. I couldn’t think about missing him for the next few months, only about seeing him again. He would be different, a changed man, but he’d also be broken. It had taken a lot of courage for him to admit he needed help, and I was immensely proud of him for it. Excitement filled my being as I anticipated our future.

  Chapter Thirty-Cade

  Cade’s First Month of Rehab

  Rehab wasn’t what I expected. The meetings, all the talking, it was difficult to get accustomed to. I went to meetings every day, sometimes more than one. Cason visited once a week, usually bringing Mom with him, but Pops wasn’t happy. During our family meeting, the counselors had informed him they all were my enablers. He didn’t like that much and stormed out. I hadn’t heard from him since. I wasn’t sure if I cared, honestly. I thought of Francesca every day. We wrote letters weekly, keeping each other informed of progress regarding my treatment and her grand opening. I anticipated her mail, though I didn’t want anyone to know just how important hearing from her was. Knowing that she was thinking about me, missing me, kept me sane. I still wanted alcohol, and according to the people I talked to every day, it would be a constant issue to deal with for the rest of my life. I was working on learning new ways to handle any problems I faced. It was hard, but no one ever claimed it was a walk in the park. Reid visited me every day. The guy wasn’t so bad, now that I wasn’t half dead. His cheery personality was contagious. I wanted to be that happy. To love my life so much that no one could bring me down. I knew I was on the right path. I just wasn’t sure how long it would take me to get there.

  A knock on the door distracted me from the television. “Come in,” I called.

  Reid sauntered in, a huge smile adorning his face as usual. “Hey, Cade! I brought the mail,” he taunted, waving it in the air.

  I knew there was a letter in there. He was the only one that really knew about Francesca. All the doctors and counselors stressed to not start anything serious while in rehab. In reality, it started nine years ago, so there wasn’t any rule or advice breaking. “Reid…can I have it, please?” I inquired, giving him a stern look.

  “I dunno. Wanna tell me how many times you’ve wanted a drink today?”

  “Four. Now, give it to me,” I commanded, reaching my hand out.

  “Four isn’t so bad. Not as many as yesterday,” he smiled, placing the treasure in my grasp.

  “Thanks, man. Now get out so I can read it,” I chuckled.

  “I’ll be back later. Enjoy,” he called, leaving me alone.

  I ripped the envelope open, peeling out the delicately folded paper. Her handwriting reflected her, soft and gentle, but you could see the passion in each stroke. She used different paper each time. Each contained a flower of some sort. I’d never realized she enjoyed flowers so much, but I made a mental note to get her lots of them once we had time together. I considered having Cason order some for her, from me, as a “thinking-of-you” surprise. I unfolded the letter, sitting back in the seat to devour every word.

  Cade,

  I hope you’re doing well. Your last letter was wonderful, thank you so much. I’m going to answer your questions first. Yes, Hamlet is fine. He’s been having playdates with Ally and the two of them are adorable. The plans for the firm are coming along nicely. The office I’ve chosen won’t be ready for another month and a half, so I’m working on getting everything in order. Zander, I’ll tell you about him in a minute, is anxious to start working for me. He’s even been talking to people and getting us clients! My mom and I went furniture shopping yesterday and I found the most amazing cherry oak desk. I put a down payment on it. It was gorgeous, Cade. My office is going to be so amazing! I can’t wait until you can see it. I can’t wait until I can go there every day and do what I’ve always wanted to.

  The lawsuit is at a standstill. J & B Law Firm is refusing to acknowledge the paperwork I sent to them. They don’t realize Zander will testify for me if it comes to that. I pray it doesn’t, though. I am in the process of finding past female workers to see if similar things were said to them.

  Zander was the receptionist at the firm. He’s working on becoming a paralegal so he can do that while he works through law school. He’s also Mr. Phillips’ great-nephew. I didn’t know that until he quit right in front of me. He’s a good worker and I think it will be great opening an office with someone I know there to support me.

  Now, I want to know about you. Cason calls every time he visits with your messages. I love that, by the way. It’s not the same as talking to you, but his voice is similar, so it’s easy to close my eyes and let my mind believe you’re speaking to me. I can’t believe your dad had them take away phone privileges. If I had enough money saved, I would take over the payments just so he wouldn’t have that sort of control. It’s not like you’re in prison. I really don’t understand him, Cade. I hope you’ll explain more about that relationship sometime.

  I found an old picture of us from the dance. Do you remember that night? I wanted you to go so badly, but I convinced myself you wouldn’t. My heart stopped when you spoke up behind me. Anyway, the picture was in an old box under my bed. Unfortunately, it has a few rips on the edges. Luckily, I have the negative for it. Can’t believe we didn’t have digital cameras then.

  I’m going to tell you something no one else knows. I’ve had nightmares about Josie’s death for years. Every night. I think a lot of it was because people led me to believe you were driving that night…once I learned the truth, the nightmares have become less frequent. I’ve also started back with my therapist. I want to work on myself. I need to move past my sister’s death, even though it hurts. It’s time to live for both of us.

  I must stop the letter here. Daphne keeps calling wanting to help decorate my office. I don’t have the heart to tell her I don’t want everything to be pink and black, so I’m not sure how I’m going to get out of this one. She’s wonderful, though. I can’t wait until you two can get to know each other better. My two favorite people. Hammy says hello…err, meow, I mean.

  I miss you more than I ever imagined, Cade. I think of you every day. I pray you get better, stay strong, and become the man you want to be…the man I know you already are. I can’t wait for us to be together, and see just how spectacular we can be as a team. Until next time…

  Xoxo

  Francesca

  The smile I held was a mile wide. She made me happy. Nothing in the letter was overly fantastic, but all of it was amazingly wonderful. Knowing she was doing what she’d always dreamed of, and finally being able to deal with her sister’s death warmed my heart. I longed to hear her voice, but it wouldn’t be much longer. As frustrating as it was to only write to h
er, it held a romantic quality about it that was undeniable. Rummaging around my room, I found my pad of paper and pen, sitting to start my letter back to her.

  Chapter Thirty-One-Francesca

  The end of the first month of Cade’s rehab was fast approaching. Zander, my dad, and I were working tirelessly to get everything in order for “Francesca Taymon, Attorney at Law Office” to open. The sign was being made, the office was being renovated, and I couldn’t stop myself from ordering furniture. Everything was so pretty and enticing. I just couldn’t contain my excitement.

  Today was a rare free day. I was taking advantage, doing as much of nothing as possible. I lay on the couch, snuggling with Hammy while listening to Lady Antebellum’s newest CD on repeat. The songs, the words, spoke to me in ways most couldn’t. My fingers dug deep in Hammy’s fur, petting and massaging him until his purr drowned out the lyrics. Between the vibrations of his body on my chest and the rhythm of his sounds, I drifted off into a much needed nap.

  The doorbell woke me from my dreams. I dragged myself up, shuffling my feet to the door while smoothing my hair down. Shocked doesn’t begin to describe the way I felt when I opened the door to see a man standing there with a dozen, maybe more, of multi colored roses.

  “Francesca Taymon?” his deep voice asked from behind the arrangement.

  “Yes,” I said, the smile expanding on my face.

  “Delivery.” He peeked around the side of them, placing the vase securely in my hands before turning and leaving.

  I swung my hip, hitting the door hard enough for it to close. I walked gingerly, not wanting to harm the beauties I held, and sat them on the table right inside the living room. I pulled the envelope from the holder, making note of how heavy and large it was. I opened it frantically, hoping my thoughts were right in thinking these were somehow from Cade.

  “Francesca—I hope you enjoy and these brighten your day like you brighten mine. I had Cason attach the letter. Love, Cade”