by Renee Hart
He wasn’t wearing glasses. He probably got over his disdain for them, Jessica thought.
“Do you?” Jessica asked. She pretended not to really notice, and shifted her gaze this way and that like a trapped mouse.
“Yeah. I’m sorry, there’s just something so familiar about you.”
“Maybe we went to the same high school,” Jessica offered, not wanting to give away any hints that she recognized him right away.
“Yes,” he breathed. “Jessica. Jessica Moore.”
He sounded more satisfied than surprised.
“Alfie Reynolds,” she said with a smile. She was as red as a beet. Usually, when someone recognized her, they stared at her wide eyed. They talked about how stunning she was now that she lost the weight and did something about the ginger hair. Alfie just looked pleased to see her.
“What a nice surprise. I just moved here. I own the coffee shop,” he said, holding up the mug in his hand as if to confirm.
“Oh how nice,” Jessica said. She was at a loss for something normal to say around him. That hadn’t changed at all.
“I’m sorry,” he put his items on the counter that separated them. “Is it ok if I give you a hug?”
Jessica tried to hide her growing smile, and the reddening of her face, but she didn’t. Instead she maneuvered out of her hiding space and gently fell into his arms. His embrace was so warm and inviting. It was like seeing an old friend. Maybe that’s what it felt like to him. She didn’t know.
“It’s so good to see you. Wow. Jessica Moore,” he said when they let each other go.
“It’s a good thing you remembered my whole name. There were two other Jessicas in our class,” she said. She was glad her humor was kind of coming back.
Alfie laughed a bit, but suddenly remembered where he was.
“Oh gosh. I’ve got to get some flowers. Can I have a couple of sunflowers? One of each color please,” Alfie said. He was all business now. Jessica had to be the same. She had to contain her excitement. Alfie worked so close to her now. They could maybe catch up some time and reconnect, or maybe she could finally get her own closure so that she could move on without melting any time someone mentioned his name around her.
Jessica collected all of the flowers and tied a silver ribbon around them. Alfie asked for a card and Jessica handed one to him.
“You know, sunflowers are my absolute favorite,” she told him.
“Mine too. Something about how bright they are. They’re like the perfect flowers to make you smile,” he said when he took a pen out of his pocket.
She didn’t want to spy, but she couldn’t help but follow his hands as he wrote down on it.
“Sunflowers for my sunflower. I love you, Lydia. Get well soon.”
He marked the bottom with a large X and stuffed the card in between the ribbon and the flowers.
Of course he was married, or at least in love. You couldn’t be someone as sweet as Alfie Reynolds and not have a woman in your life. For some reason, Jessica felt stupid, but she smiled and took his money, handed him his change, and watched him walk out.
*
“So I bumped into the famous Mr. Reynolds,” Chleo said when she got back from lunch. “He was holding some very familiar flowers.”
“Yeah, he came in here,” Jessica said as casually as she could.
“He was all excited to see me. Told me he bumped into both of the famous yin yang sisters in one afternoon, but cut that out when I made a face at him. Apparently someone failed to mention that there were two people who owned Any Blooming Thing,” Chleo looked sternly at Jessica and put her hands on her hips.
“We barely talked about anything,” Jessica held her hands up in surrender.
“Doesn’t matter,” Chleo said unraveling the scarf around her neck. She handed Jessica the food that she had brought for her. “So, when’s the wedding?”
“You’re nuts,” Jessica scoffed.
“Yep, and so are you. What happened? Who are the flowers for?”
“Someone named Lydia. He’s got a girlfriend.”
“Jess, did he actually say that he has a girlfriend?”
Jessica shook her head. It was silly for Chleo to even say something like that. It would just fill Jessica up with a false sense of hope that she had been quietly burying since the end of high school.
“You know he owns the coffee shop, right?”
Jessica nodded. She didn’t really want to talk about Alfie anymore.
“I don’t think you’re over him. It’s written all over your face. You’re quiet, and distant, and this is so reminiscent of when we were 16. I just don’t want to see you hurt, is all. Best way to find out something, is to ask about that something,” Chleo said. She was always like a mama bear when it came to these things. Chleo had been looking out for Jessica for as long as the two had known each other. It was definitely time for Jessica to look out for herself.
“Ok. If he passes by tomorrow, I promise I’ll ask him about Lydia,” Jessica said.
“And?”
“And,” Jessica sighed, “if nothing’s going on, I guess I’ll invite him out for coffee.”
“Make sure it’s from his shop. It’s expensive in there. Make sure you get some free pastries.”
Jessica laughed.
Chapter Five
Jessica couldn’t help but glance up over the counter every few minutes the next day. She was anticipating Alfie walking by. Maybe he would pop in to say hello, or maybe he was too busy and would just wave from afar. She didn’t know how she was going to approach him. How was she going to ask if he was seeing someone?
Chleo wasn’t at the store that day. She was at home doing some paperwork. She was the math wiz who knew all the numbers and how to sort out finances and taxes. If Jess needed her, she was a call and just a train ride away.
Not having Chleo there made Jessica anxious, even though she was a grown woman, and she kept whispering to herself that she was still as crazy as a high schooler whenever it came to Alfred Reynolds.
She hadn’t seen him for most of the day, and she even missed her lunch hour. She had to eat, and at 3, she finally gave up and turned the sign at the front of the store and walked out.
“Whoa, fancy seeing you here,” a voice said behind her. She knew right away that it was Alfie. He had a big stupid grin on his face at the joke that he made, and that made Jessica laugh. In his hands were an egg carton with 2 paper coffee cups, and a small bowl with an assortment of sweeteners and creams. He clung to a black plastic bag with the pinky of the hand that held the egg cartons. “I was just about to stop by and ask you how you liked your coffee.”
“Good thing I didn’t turn the key or anything. Ok, come in, but we have to go to the back, or people will think that I’m still working.”
Jessica opened the door and let him in, and the two of them slipped into the back room once Jessica had locked the door.
“What’s on the menu?” Jessica asked. Alfie had put down the egg carton and the bowl, and was now rummaging through the plastic bag.
“Well, I didn’t know if you were the new age hippy type, or a carnivore, so I brought a veggie meatball sub sandwich with your choice of dipping sauce, and a vegan cinnamon swirl. Well, if you like bees, then I guess it’s not totally vegan because it’s sweetened with honey.”
“I’m actually a pescatarian, so good call,” Jessica said, taking the sub. It was weird how normal it felt to fall back into place of sneaking into classrooms to laugh and joke with Alfie. The time that he had gotten serious for a moment to tell her how beautiful she was had stuck in her head. Macbeth had always been her favorite Shakespeare play because of that moment.
The two of them sat down and started to eat their sandwiches in silence. It was comfortable and not at all awkward. Whenever one caught the other looking at them, they would smile and look away with mouths too full to say anything.
“I hope Lydia is feeling better,” Jessica blurted out. She wanted to be nice, but he would prob
ably wonder how it was that she even knew who Lydia was.
“She’ll be OK. She’s a little champ,” Alfie said while clearing his throat. There was something about the question that made him slightly less at ease.
“Oh, how long have you known each other?” Jessica tried to sound cool. She put her sandwich down to put a sachet of stevia into her coffee, so she seemed occupied and not in the mood to look him in the eye when he revealed his answer.
“Lydia? Well, I’ve known her her whole life,” Alfie laughed nervously. “Lydia…umm…Lydia is my daughter.”
Jessica didn’t know why that made her smile. She finally looked up, and she could see that Alfie was waiting for her reaction.
“That’s adorable. How old is she?”
“She’ll be 8 in the summer.”
Jessica wanted to ask about Lydia’s mom, but she didn’t know if it was a touchy subject.
“Are you married?” she asked instead. It was an easier way to frame the question, she thought.
“Nah. Lydia’s mom and I have been friends since college. It was just a random night where we got ahead of ourselves,” he started. He took a bite of his sandwich and waited to swallow before speaking up again.
“When Lydia was born we lived in the same neighborhood until Lydia was 5. She always knew that her family life was a little different from her friends at school, but Kelly and I are always there for her. Kelly got a job in California, and she moved there two years ago. So she tries to visit when she can, and Lydia’s with her for vacation. I miss her like crazy when she’s away, but I’m just grateful there’s no bitterness where Kelly and I are concerned.”
Jessica nodded. She understood. Alfie was such a good guy that he had gained a daughter, and never lost a friend. Whenever he spoke about his daughter, his face lit up.
“What about you? Any kids?”
“No kids. No relationship. My store seems to be my life right now. I’m just trying to make everything work until I have the money to start up my career.”
“Still doing art?”
“Yeah actually. I want my own studio. There’s a place kind of close here. It would be amazing to have openings downstairs while I sculpted and painted downstairs. I tried my hand at acting a few years ago, but I could only get pretty vapid commercials, and that didn’t really make me happy.”
“Have I seen any of your ads?” Alfie asked.
“Probably one. I was in a Ross commercial in a purple coat. I was throwing fake autumn leaves at the camera and laughing at nothing. I couldn’t keep up with stuff like that,” Jessica said with a shudder.
Alfie clapped his hands together and laughed.
“I knew there was something familiar about that chick in the commercial. This whole lunch I’ve been sitting across from a would be celebrity.”
“Oh hush!” Jessica said. She rolled her little stevia sachet into a ball and tossed it at him.
“Still funny. Thank goodness too. I thought the fame would’ve maybe gotten to your head,” he giggled. By the time he got to the word ‘fame’, Jessica was standing over him and poking him all over as he teased her.
“I’d have my bodyguard tear your limbs off, but he’s vacationing in Jamaica as we speak,” Jessica said with a false huff. They were both standing up now, poking and play wrestling.
Alfie took Jessica by the hand and brought her close to him. He was still poking and tickling her with his free hand while she attempted to wriggle free. She grabbed ahold of his arm to stop him from making her laugh anymore and their eyes met.
Their laughter ceased. All that could be heard now was the low panting of Jessica from having laughed so much, and the heavy breathing of Alfie, who had grown tired but giddy from having his arm wrapped around Jessica.
They paused for just a moment, and that was when Alfie leaned forward, and gave Jessica a kiss.
Chapter Six
Alfie and Jessica were sitting in the corner of a dimly lit restaurant. Their kiss in the backroom of Any Blooming Thing led to several more kisses, and exchanging of numbers, and a few dates about the city. This was their 4th date. Jessica, more open than she’d ever been with Alfie and Alfie even more wonderful than how she’d imagined he would be.
He was chivalrous and silly all in one. He opened her doors for her, but he’d also make faces at her from across the table. It felt a lot like spending time with your best friend. It was as if nothing had changed between them, only now on occasion, Alfie’s fingers would brush against her own…and even rarer still, his thumb would find her cheek and lightly touch it while he looked into her eyes.
“This is a pretty snazzy place,” Jessica said.
Alfie shook his head with mock disgust.
“I think the term you’re looking for is fancy as hell. Decorum please, dear.”
Jessica had to cover her mouth to keep from snorting with laughter.
“I really like making you laugh,” Alfie said. Jessica smiled at him from across the table. She couldn’t believe that this was happening. After each of their dates, she had to stop and process all the time they spent together to see if this was really happening.
“Can I be serious for a second?” Jessica asked.
“Uh oh,” Alfie frowned. “What did I do?”
Jessica smiled briefly, but quickly went back to having a serious face. This wasn’t the time to joke. She toyed with her food for a second before speaking up. Her face was getting warm. She was nervous about what it was that she was about to ask him.
“I guess I wanted to know what made you ask me out after all this time.”
“I asked you out because I wanted to,” Alfie replied simply. He stiffened just a bit in his seat, getting a bit uncomfortable at what was possibly the beginning of an interrogation.
“What about high school?” she asked.
“What about high school?” he echoed patiently. He took a sip of water and gently placed the glass back down on the table. He clasped his arms and leaned forward so that Jessica could see that he was giving her his full attention.
“You didn’t ask me out then,” she pointed out.
“I guess maybe it wasn’t the right time then,” he said. All of his responses were matter of fact, and they came almost like clockwork, like he was anticipating this very conversation.
“So it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m not fat anymore?”
Jessica didn’t mean for her voice to sound defensive. This was the case for a lot of people who knew her before she lost her weight. They liked her enough to be her friend, but when she was taller and slimmer was when they paid her enough mind to ask her out. It didn’t build up her confidence in fact, it lowered her self-esteem more. She didn’t know which version of herself she was more comfortable with, and now her insecurities were pouring out onto the table between them.
“What are you talking about Jess? No. That’s not why.”
“It’s just…it’s happened to me before, and this seems like very convenient timing for you.”
“Jessica, if you want me to be honest, then I’ll do that. I always knew that you liked me. I kind of liked you too in Junior year. That’s why I partnered up with you for our project on Macbeth. But then Stacy Links asked me to prom…”
“She asked you?” Jessica interrupted him. Alfie nodded his head and continued.
“She asked me to Junior prom, and then it looked like you didn’t really want to hang out with me anymore. So Stacy and I got together, and we stayed together until after Senior year. I just thought you didn’t want to be my friend anymore. Then when I saw you at the flower shop, it was like this weird twist of fate. I mean I moved here a few months ago, my business is so close to yours, and there you were. I thought this must have been a good thing. This could be my chance to get to know you like I had wanted to back then.”
They sat in silence for a bit. Jessica felt a bit funny for accusing Alfie of being insincere, but she knew that if she didn’t ask then it would have nagged at her internally until s
he said something anyway.
“If I hurt you in high school, I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention. All I know is that when I saw you again, I felt this similar connection like we had when we were hanging out. It was this friendly and familiar warmth, and I just got so drawn to you. I wanted to see what all of that meant.”
Jessica could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She was overcome by emotions. All of this time, she thought to herself. Over a decade of pining and what ifs and thinking of him, and he had felt something for her. The feelings were reciprocated, and if she wasn’t too afraid, she could have stayed his friend through senior year. Something could have happened between them from a long time ago. But that would have meant that he wouldn’t have had Lydia.
No, Jessica couldn’t regret anything. She was luckier than most. She was getting a second chance with the man of her dreams. She was sitting across the table with Alfie reassuring her that he truly and deeply cared for her beyond any shallow ideas that she may have assumed of him.
Alfie took a hold of Jessica’s hand, and a tear escaped her before she could wipe it away.
“I didn’t want to make you cry. I just wanted you to know that I really like you. Ginger curls or Courtney Cox black hair,” Alfie said. Jessica couldn’t help but laugh. He was finding ways to make her happy, even when she was feeling insecure about herself.
“You’re so lame,” she said when she was finished laughing. There were no more tears coming out, and Alfie was grateful for that. “Thank you for making me laugh.”
“I told you that I like seeing you laugh. I want to keep doing that.”
“So…keep doing it,” Jessica said.
“I want to. I do…but…” Alfie’s voice trailed off.
“But what?” Jessica asked. She anticipated a rug being pulled from under her. Alfie looked serious and almost worried now.
“If I may get serious for a moment too, there’s something important that I need to talk to you about. It could change everything.”
Chapter Seven
