by Renee Hart
“Alfie has a flair for the dramatic,” Chleo said. She was dunking a tea bag in and out of a mug. It was a beautiful Monday morning after Alfie and Jessica’s date.
“Meeting his daughter is a big deal. I don’t think he’s being dramatic,” Jessica said. She was unpacking some new flower pots that she had ordered.
“You’re basically a kid yourself, so I bet she’ll love you.”
Jessica through a handful of bubble wrap at Chleo and laughed.
“He hasn’t called me since our date, but he wants us to meet soon. I’m pretty nervous though,” Jessica said.
“Don’t be,” Chleo pat Jessica on the back. “You have a good heart, and kids can always see that. I know she’s going to love you.”
“I hope so. I really do…”
*
Jessica hadn’t heard from Alfie in a week. She was already anxious after just a few days, but not seeing him made things worse.
Was he worried that they were moving too fast? Just because they knew each other when they were in high school didn’t mean that they knew each other now that they were adults and one of them had a child. Things were different now, and they had both changed a lot since they were teenagers.
Whenever Jessica texted Alfie, his responses were vague, and it made her wonder what it was that could have happened. She hated the idea of pestering anybody, so she kept her texts short and casual. After a few days, she noticed that his replies to her were getting less frequent.
She would have been less anxious about it if she at least saw him passing by to go to his coffee shop, but she didn’t even see him. Since he was the owner, he didn’t have to go every day of course. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt so that she wouldn’t over-think their relationship. They had only started reconnecting just a month earlier. She just wanted to know why he had already started being distant just after letting her know that he wanted her to meet his daughter.
When another week had passed, Jessica decided to go to the coffee shop. His last message to her was a few days prior, when he was letting her know that he was very busy, and he would message her at some point during the next week. He seemed to need space, and she was going to allow him his space. She wasn’t the smothering type anyway. She was just curious about why he hadn’t gone to his store, even if it had nothing to do with her.
Chleo said that she would man the fort while Jessica went to investigate what happened to Alfie. Jessica headed for the coffee shop.
“Welcome to Dream Coffee, I’m Delilah. How can I help you today?” said the woman behind the counter. Jessica didn’t recognize her, even though she had had coffee from there before. When she figured that Alfie needed space, she had kept her distance.
“Oh, I’m actually looking for your manager,” Jessica said. She didn’t want to talk in front of the customers, and the thought made her uncomfortable.
“I’m the manager,” Delilah said without losing her smile.
“Oh. Well…hi Delilah. I was wondering what happened to your boss, Mr. Reynolds? I’m a friend of his and I haven’t seen him in a while,” Jessica started.
“You must be Jessica!” Delilah said with a bit more excitement. “Mr. Reynolds talks about you all the time. Wait, you don’t know where he is?”
Jessica looked as confused as Delilah now did, but for a different reason.
“Mr. Reynolds is upstate. He’s supposed to come back in the next few days,” Delilah said. She was still smiling, but she looked a bit troubled.
Jessica had no idea why Alfie didn’t let her know that he was away. Now she wanted to know what it was that he could have been hiding. She thanked Delilah and stepped out of the coffee shop.
There was something extremely fishy going on. She didn’t know what it was, but she was going to find out what.
*
“Hey you.”
Just as Delilah had said, Alfie was back in the city by Wednesday. He texted Jessica the night before, apologizing for being so distant, and asked to see her at her apartment on Wednesday night.
“Hi,” Jessica said flatly. “Come in.”
She moved away from the door so that Alfie could step into the apartment.
“So, I’m an asshole. I know. I would have brought you flowers, but you own the best flower shop I know, and that would have been a dead giveaway,” Alfie said, trying to lighten the mood.
“Please don’t joke,” Jessica said. Alfie nodded and looked down.
“I’m really sorry Jessica. Some things came up, and I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“I guess if this is something that you want to do with me, then maybe it would be a good idea to let me in a little,” Jessica snapped.
“That’s fair,” Alfie said. “I didn’t know what was happening, and I didn’t want to worry you.”
“A good way to worry me more is by disappearing and not letting me know what the hell is going on.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
They were both still standing by the door, but Jessica held out her hand and gestured for Alfie to step into the living room. He obliged and sat close to the center of her sofa. She sat beside him.
“Jessica, life just took a bit of an unexpected turn. It’s a great turn, and it was something that was kind of in the works even before you were in the picture.”
He was stalling, Jessica knew. She sat and waited patiently for him to get to the point of what it was he wanted to say.
“My business is expanding. It wasn’t really the plan to stay in the city this whole time. It was for one semester of Lydia’s school, and then we were supposed to move upstate to open another chain,” Alfie said after a long silence.
“What are you saying?” It was a stupid question, Jessica thought. She knew what it was that he was saying. She just wanted it spelled out for her. Alfie knew too. He couldn’t find the right way to say the words again.
“You’re moving?”
“I don’t want to. Well, I did want to…but then there was you, and…”
“And I’m making this decision hard for you,” Jessica interrupted.
“It’s not just that. Lydia likes her school here, and I like being here. She’s moved around a lot, and she thought this was where we could settle down. I just have a lot to think about.”
“That’s something you couldn’t tell me?”
“It was hard for me. I still don’t know what to do.”
“I think you should leave,” Jessica said. It was harsh and it was a rational remark, but she needed to be alone before her thoughts spun out of control.
“Jess…”
“Please. Go home, Alfie.”
He didn’t protest again. He sat still and looked at her for a minute, and reached out with his hand. He was just about to touch her arm, but he thought better of it, and brought his arm back to him. He stood up and started walking away.
“Jessica,” he said weakly. He stopped but didn’t turn around. She didn’t respond, but he knew that she could hear him.
“I know it’s a little too late to say this, but I think…I think it was always you, Jessica.”
Without another word, Alfie stepped out of the apartment and shut the door behind him. And Jessica cried herself to sleep.
Chapter Eight
It wasn’t like Jessica to lie to Chleo. Of all people, Chleo would have understood. She was the one who knew how much Jessica had been in love with Alfred Reynolds since they were all 15. She knew after countless obnoxious and self-righteous boyfriends, in the back of Jessica’s mind, it was always Alfie. But Jessica couldn’t bring herself to be at work.
The coffee shop was in too close a proximity. She wasn’t a coward, but the idea of bumping into him now scared her. She was the one who decided to end it. When he called, she wouldn’t answer. She didn’t read or even respond to any of his texts. She shoved her cell phone underneath one of her couch cushions and put it on silent.
If he was going to leave, then he was going to have to hate her. It wo
uld be easier for him then. He could move on with his life and not have to worry about Jessica or how she was feeling. She wanted that; she lied to herself. She wanted him to hate her and forget about her, and forget they even had a brief chance at love. It only made it harder since she knew how he felt about it.
“It was always you, Jessica,” his voice echoed in the back of her mind. No matter how hard she tried to shut him out, those words remained. The last time she remembered his voice was when he told her she was beautiful, and that took almost 15 years before they faded, and that was only because they had now been replaced with, ‘It was always you’.
Jessica lied to Chleo the next morning. She told her that she was sick. Chleo went to work alone, and filled Jessica in on the boring details of the day.
After day three, Chleo knew that something was up. She showed up, unannounced at Jessica’s door.
“How are you feeling? I brought you some soup,” Chleo said when she stepped into the apartment. She headed toward the kitchen and rummaged around a bit until she found a tray.
“Get into bed and we can talk when you have some food in your system.”
Chleo felt Jessica’s head before shooing her off to her room. It didn’t take long for Chleo to come inside with the soup.
“I feel pretty awful to be honest,” Jessica was sitting up in bed. She didn’t have much of an appetite. She had been stuffing her face earlier with confections and junk food.
“That crazy science teacher guy came in today. It was his two year anniversary with the pink haired teacher. Did you know she’s black?” Chleo said. She saw Jessica looking gloomily into her soup, and wanted to take her mind off of whatever it was that was making her feel so bad.
“I bet she was really pretty too,” Jessica said. She smiled, but it was a weak smile.
“Yeah, she was,” Chleo said. She put her hand on Jessica’s forehead. “No temperature.”
“Maybe I’m getting better,” Jessica offered.
“And maybe Alfie came to the store today looking for you, and spilled his guts about everything,” Chleo said. She didn’t sound angry, and she wasn’t accusing Jessica. But she was hurt that Jessica had kept something so important like that from her.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“That’s ok. I’ll live. I’m sorry about Alfie. He really wants to talk to you.”
“Did you get upset and tell him to leave me alone? I know you were worried about him hurting me,” Jessica said.
“Are you kidding? The last time I saw you that happy was the last time you saw Alfie. He brings something out of you that no one else ever has,” said Chleo. She took Jessica by the hand and squeezed. She was beginning her mama bear mode. It always started with a meaningful look or squeeze of the shoulder or hand.
“He told me,” she started and stopped, not knowing if it would be a good idea to say what she was about to say. She decided to say it anyway. “He told me to ask you if you’d go with him. He said he knows it’s soon…but when you know, you know. He said he asked you in a bunch of messages, but you didn’t answer them. It would have been way better and way more romantic if he was the one to tell you. But you might not have checked your messages until it was too late.”
Jessica shifted so that she was sitting straighter in her bed. She stopped playing with her soup, and squeezed Chleo’s hand back. It was more a response to panic than it was a squeeze of reassurance, but Chleo didn’t mind.
Then Jessica’s hand went limp. The brightness of her eyes went back to a dull blue of defeat.
“I can’t go,” Jessica said.
“Why can’t you?”
“I’m not going to leave you, or the store. I can’t leave my best friend and my own business to go traipsing upstate.”
“But you love him.”
“Yes, I do. But I love you, and I love me. In fact, I love me most. And I can’t give up my life for someone else. It just wouldn’t make me happy if I went,” Jessica said. She hated to say it, but it was the truth. There would be nothing for her upstate. She also hadn’t even met Lydia yet. There were so many things to consider, but it melted her heart knowing that Alfie wanted her so close to him.
“I’m not going to ask you to go. But he’s supposed to leave in the next few weeks. I’m only going to ask you to think about it,” Chleo said. She stood up from Jessica’s bed, and pat her hand before letting it go. Chleo was on her way out the door.
“And for the love of god, come into work tomorrow!”
Chapter Nine
Jessica couldn’t hide forever. She knew that. She did go back to work the next day, and kept as busy as she possibly could in the hopes that she wouldn’t keep looking out the door. She never saw him though. Alfie never went by the window. He had even stopped calling.
Jessica read all the messages he sent, and deleted them as she went. Some she read again. Some moved her to tears. But she deleted every one. She was being petty and stubborn, but she also kept telling herself that it was for the best.
Jessica had been back at work for two days, agreeing to make up for her absence by giving Chleo three days off in return. It was hard for her to be in the store by herself with the way her mind was working, but things needed to be done, and she wasn’t going to let her business suffer because of what was happening in her personal life.
She pruned some of the flowers she had; pausing by the large display of sunflowers. She frowned at them and sighed. She was thinking of Alfie and his butter colored hair. He loved sunflowers too, she remembered him saying. She decided she was going to associate the flowers with smiling, and not about being sad that she would miss him when he leaves.
The door jingled and it brought Jessica back to the present. She looked to see who had just walked in. It was a little girl with a purple coat and black boots that looked like ugg boots.
“Well hello,” Jessica said. She looked around and behind her to see if the little girl’s parents were with her, but she appeared to be alone.
“Hi,” the little girl squeaked. She had long brown wavy hair, freckles, and a missing tooth. She seemed really shy, and she walked slowly forward and into the store.
“I need to get a flower for somebody,” she said, looking up at Jessica. She had big, not quite green, not quite blue, and not quite grey eyes.
“Sure sweetheart. What can I get you?”
The little girl pointed to the sunflower in Jessica’s hand.
“This?” she asked to make sure, and the little girl nodded.
“I need a card too, please,” she fidgeted and shuffled from foot to foot. She was so cute and friendly that Jessica couldn’t help but smile back at her.
Jessica went behind the counter and took out a card. The little girl asked her to write for her.
“Ok, so the card should say…” the girl paused. She was trying to remember what to put on the card. Jessica laughed and patiently waited.
“Ok, say ‘For my Lady Macbeth’…”
Jessica’s heart stopped, and she didn’t write any of the words down. She looked at the little girl and her eyes widened slowly. The little girl’s not quite green, blue, or grey eyes stared back up at Jessica.
“Hey! You’re supposed to be writing this down!” the little girl said.
Jessica’s mouth widened in a knowing smile. There was a lump in her throat, but she started writing.
“For my Lady Macbeth minus the crazy.”
“Is that it?” Jessica said, now trying to hide her tears.
“That’s all my dad told me,” the little girl shrugged.
“And who is this flower for?” Jessica asked.
“It’s for you!”
“Well, thank you Lydia,” Jessica said when she took up the flower.
“You know my name,” Lydia looked like she had just witnessed something magical. Jessica nodded.
“Dad says he’s coming, but he wanted me to give you the flower first. Hold on,” Lydia said. She held up her hand to tell Jessica to wait whe
re she was and she ran to the door. She opened it, looked to her left, and made frantic beckoning motions with her hands.
Jessica looked up, feeling really silly that she was still crying, and that’s when she saw him; the black jacket and the butter blonde hair that she knew all too well. He had on his glasses today, and he looked more like the Alfie she had fallen in love with all those years ago.
“Hey,” he said sheepishly when he stepped into the store.
“Hey,” Jessica said, wiping away tears.
“Jess…I…”
“I know,” she stopped him. “I’m sorry too.”
“I’m not leaving,” he blurted out.
“You’re not?”
“I called Kelly. She liked the idea of being upstate, and offered to take care of that branch of my store.”
“So she picked up and moved her whole life huh?” Jessica asked.
“Not exactly. Kelly’s husband got a job about 30 minutes away from my new store. They were gonna come this way anyway,” Alfie explained. “When Kelly found out that I needed someone to be a manager, she accepted as long as I paid her almost twice what I was going to offer another manager. She’s good like that. Plus, Lydia has a baby sister on the way, and I thought it would be nice for her to be closer to her mom.”
“How do you do it?” Jessica breathed.
“Do what?”
“You find this rational and peaceful way to work things out with everyone.”
Alfie laughed at that.
“I like seeing the people I care about happy,” he replied with a shrug. “And apparently I like seeing you laugh. So I wanted to stay so that I could see that more.”
Lydia was looking back and forth between the two of them and giggling.
“And what are you laughing about, sunflower?” Alfie looked down at her.
“Daddy’s got a girlfriend,” Lydia said and covered her mouth to continue giggling.
“Yeah, he does. I mean, I think he does,” he looked at Jessica.
She rolled her eyes in response.
“It’s so hard to find Lady Macbeth romantic though. I mean, you almost had me…with the cute kid, and bringing me the sunflower, but trying to bring up old memories about the least romantic play in order to be romantic was just too m-“
