The Soldier's Homecoming

by Patricia Potter

  “What’s the difference?” Travis asked.

  “We teach basic skills by doing,” he added. “The day begins with feeding the horses and cattle onsite. Then there’s a full day of horsemanship. When they gain the skills, they work alongside our cowhands. After completing the initial training, some stay and become quite skilled in working cattle and horsemanship. There’s still a demand for cowhands these days. Others who don’t have the time for the resident program can sign up for additional sessions or just a few hours’ riding.”

  “Any requirements for applying?” Travis asked.

  “An honorable discharge. I think I should make one thing clear. We’re not a therapeutic program. We do not treat PTSD, and participants have to be ambulatory. What we do is teach skills. We believe that working with horses is therapeutic in and of itself.

  “Now,” Chet said, “I’ve talked enough, and I’m going back to the barn while you talk to these two young men. You can use the front porch. There’s coffee inside and soft drinks. I know you’re on a schedule, but if you have any more questions, I’m certainly available now or later. We need more programs like ours. We have a waiting list which, in this case, is not good.”

  He left. Travis and Jenny sat on the rocking chairs, while Jeff and Austin pulled up two more, making a circle.

  Travis first explained why they were there. Then Jenny started the questions. He knew she would be more effective in drawing them out than if an officer did the questioning.

  She started by asking them about where they’d served. Jeff, a twenty-nine-year-old corporal, served in some of Iraq’s bloodiest battles. Austin had served as a truck driver there and had watched several vehicles ahead of him and behind destroyed by roadside bombs. Although not clinically diagnosed with PTSD, they both had nightmares and difficulty adjusting to civilian life.

  Jeff was in the second week of the program, while Austin was a returnee and obviously an advocate.

  “It’s saved my marriage,” Austin said. “When I first came home, I couldn’t relate to anyone in the civilian world, not even my wife. My nightmares scared her. I couldn’t talk about the time I was in combat because there was no way I could explain the constant fear, the smell of death. Especially watching your best friend die. I’d completely changed. I couldn’t even enjoy a good joke when I used to be a jokester.”

  He looked at Jeff, who nodded. “We were headed for a divorce when someone mentioned this ranch,” he continued. “I’d never been on a horse before but my wife encouraged it and I owed her one last attempt to save the marriage.”

  He paused, and Jenny gently urged him on. “What changed?” she asked in a voice so sympathetic, it would be impossible not to reply.

  “Other than marrying my wife, it was the best decision I’ve made. Horses don’t judge. They don’t have expectations. They’re accepting. After the first few nervous moments, I slowly relaxed, really relaxed for the first time since coming home. Dusty, the horse I usually ride, nuzzles me when I appear in the morning and seems really happy to see me. He responds to the slightest touch. He...well...helped heal my sense of who I am and what I can be. My wife says she likes me again. Now when I get frustrated,” he added, “I call Chet and come up here. There’s nothing like rounding up cows from the back of a horse on a fine day to push away negative thoughts. I’m even happy back at my job as a mechanic. When things get difficult, I know I can come back here.”

  “What about you, Jeff?” Travis asked the other man.

  “I’m not as far along as Austin,” Jeff said. “I have a ways to go, but one of the best things about this program is being with other veterans. It’s what I missed most when I came back. A civilian can’t understand how close you get to other guys when you eat, sleep and fight together for years. You rely on them for your life. You get back, and you’re alone.”

  He paused until Jenny nodded her head in encouragement.

  “I’d never intended to be a soldier,” he said. “I married my high school sweetheart, got a job and attended college part-time. I joined the Army Reserve to help with expenses. I never thought I would be sent off to a battle zone.” He stood and walked nervously on the porch, his fingers clutching and unclutching.

  “I came home to divorce papers. My wife had fallen in love with an officer on base but waited to tell me until I came home. My mother remarried after Dad died, and her husband was not a fan of the military. I was tolerated but no more than that.

  “I was angry. I had PTSD and couldn’t sleep without nightmares. My skills didn’t fit many job descriptions and I admit my attitude wasn’t the best. I couldn’t find a good job and started drinking, then drifted into drugs.” Jeff stopped pacing. “I probably would be dead today if a buddy from my ROTC unit hadn’t become involved. He was in this program and mentioned how helpful it was, but they wouldn’t take anyone with a drug problem. It was a lifeline. He helped me get clean and I finally was accepted.”

  He was silent for a moment. “I can’t really tell you how much it has done for me. I’ve always liked animals but there’s a connection between a horse and rider that’s unique. You have to trust each other. Respect each other.

  “Sometimes I ride out with the cattle, and then there’s times I ride at sunset, just the horse and me, and I can feel peace again.” He went red. “I didn’t mean to be sappy or anything.”

  “You’re not,” Jenny said. “I know exactly what you mean.”

  He didn’t look convinced.

  “She does,” Travis affirmed. “She was wounded in Syria while covering a volunteer medical unit for a news service.”

  The two vets looked at her with new respect. “That true, ma’am?” Jeff asked.

  “I’m afraid so. I’m not so swift on ducking.”

  “I’m proud of meeting you,” Jeff said.

  “Do you know what you want to do now?” Jenny asked him.

  “Well, ma’am, I’m thinking now about becoming a vet tech. Chet said he would help me.” It was obvious Chet was a saint.

  Travis was impressed. He wondered, though, if these two were typical or selected to put the program in a good light.

  He looked at his watch. They were running late, but it had been worth the visit.

  He thanked the two former soldiers, and they all walked together to the barn. There, Chet introduced them to the horses in the stalls and to additional program participants who were in various stages of unsaddling, cooling off and feeding their mounts.

  There was laughter and good-natured grumbling about who did best during the day. Jenny was obviously the star as several competed for her attention. It wasn’t easy to draw her away.

  He thanked Chet. “I’ll probably have more questions.”

  “Anytime,” the rancher replied.

  That was too sedate for Jenny. She reached up and hugged him. Chet looked chagrined, but he winked at Travis. “You can bring her anytime.”

  Travis grinned. “She’s my secret weapon.”

  They left then. It was a long drive ahead.

  * * *

  IT WAS DARK when they reached the city limits of a small town west of Lubbock. They noted two motels and a barbecue restaurant just off the interstate.

  “Your pick,” Travis said.

  It seemed forever since she traveled by road in the United States. She suspected the same of him. She selected the newest-looking motel. They registered separately, paid separately and were given adjoining rooms. Travis asked about restaurants and was told the barbecue restaurant was pretty much it. Breakfast was free at the motel, starting at 7:00 a.m.

  Travis suggested they settle into their rooms and meet in thirty minutes to go to supper. She noticed he was walking with a more pronounced limp.

  Everyone had been right about the aftermath of yesterday’s horseback riding, and she would have loved another long bath to soothe aching muscles. She made do wit
h a hot shower. Then she ran a comb through her wet hair and applied a dash of lipstick. The barbecue place definitely looked casual. She put on her jeans and a clean T-shirt.

  It wasn’t a date, and yet she felt anticipation, as if it was one.

  She knocked at the adjoining door, and it opened immediately.

  He’d shaved and changed into a gray polo shirt, but she thought the jeans were the same. Her heart started racing. She’d been attracted to him from the first time she’d met him. She liked his face, the way the thin scar pulled up the side of his mouth in a half-smile and the fine lines around his eyes. She liked the way he smiled. And she liked the strength that radiated from him. He knew who and what he was. There was no pretense about him, just a quiet integrity.

  She had seen several sides of him, and she liked them all. She warned herself there could be others she wouldn’t like.

  Don’t like him too much, she told herself. As soon as her shoulder healed, she was returning to the Middle East. Somehow she had to find that medical group and discover what happened to the girl. Travis, on the other hand, had his own future to remake, and she was sure it would have something to do with settling down. She hadn’t missed the look in his eyes when he watched Josh’s son.

  For the moment, though, she would enjoy being with him.

  “Ready?” he asked. He had that slight smile on his face.

  “Yes. I’m hungry again.”

  “How do you stay so slim?” he asked.

  “I don’t always eat like this,” she said. “When I’m on a story, I basically subsist on air. And I was in the hospital and rehab center for a long time. They’re not known for gourmet cuisine. As a result, when I’m presented with good food, I enjoy every bite.”

  She’d drifted into his room. Neither of them had brought much luggage, but his room looked as if no one had even been inside, while hers looked as if a hurricane had struck it. She was neat when she had to be, but when she didn’t, she enjoyed leaving newspaper pages, books, papers, clothes and towels everywhere. She didn’t dare examine why.

  “Shall we, then?”

  She nodded, and together they headed to the restaurant across the street. Travis was still limping, and she felt guilty. He’d walked several miles in Raton this morning, and then his leg had grown stiff in the car.

  They caught the scent of smoke and grilled meat immediately. A good sign. Country music came from a sound system as they entered.

  Jenny glanced around, absorbing every detail. Another good sign was the hatwear. She suspected the diners in worn Western hats were locals. Tourists, on the other hand, were identified by new Western hats, maps and guidebooks on their tables. The old hats dominated.

  The interior walls were paneled and decorated by what seemed like a hundred black-and-white photos, some obviously dating back decades. They seemed to be the only effort toward warmth. The wooden tables looked none too sturdy.

  A sign told them to seat themselves, so she led the way to a table next to the wall, where she could watch the room. She noticed his wry expression that once again she beat him to it.

  Paper menus were on the table, along with salt and pepper shakers and a bottle of hot sauce. As they looked at the menus, a waitress appeared at the table with silverware and glasses of water. “Hey, how are you?” she asked in a Texas accent that was barely understandable. “What can I get y’all?”

  It took Jenny a few seconds to translate. “What would you suggest?” Jenny asked.

  “Beef tips,” she said. “Smoked for a day. It’s our bestseller with folks around town.”

  Jenny nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

  “Comes with two sides. Salad, baked beans, slaw, baked potatoes or fries?”

  “Fries and salad.”

  “And you, sugar?” she asked Travis, her gaze lingering on him.

  “I’ll have the same,” Travis replied.

  “And drinks?”

  “The local beer,” Travis said.

  “Me, too,” Jenny said.

  “I like Texas,” Jenny said after the waitress left.

  He gave her that slow smile that made her body respond in unwanted ways. “I can honestly say I have never met a woman so enthusiastic about food.”

  “What about your ex-fiancé?” It came out before she could stop it. But she’d been wondering about the woman since he had mentioned that she was a journalist.

  “She barely ate at all,” he said. “She was a television journalist and always said one pound looked like ten on television.”

  “That’s another reason why I wasn’t interested in television. Besides, have you ever seen a red-haired woman journalist on TV? Especially one with freckles?”

  “Come to think of it, no,” he said. His eyes smiled. Warmth curled in her stomach as their gazes locked, unwanted messages exchanged between two reluctant recipients.

  No! She swallowed hard as she fought against the feeling. She couldn’t get involved. Not with him. He was not a player. He was obviously a forever kind of guy. Panic filled her. She had her own goals, her own dreams, her own life, and they didn’t include anything close to forever. She tried to keep her voice light as she replied, “Besides, I wouldn’t like to stay anywhere long.” It was a warning. To both of them.

  He studied her for a moment. His face was unreadable. “I can understand that,” he said in a neutral tone.

  It was a step back for him, too, but she’d asked for it. Yet how could she explain her sudden panic after a perfectly sublime day?

  Thankfully the beers came, and she didn’t have to. The food followed shortly.

  The beef tips fell off the bones, but her appetite had suddenly faded.

  She worked at eating, though. She didn’t like being vulnerable, and she felt vulnerable with him. She’d been physically attracted to guys before, and had been friends with many guys, but rarely had the two come together. There had never been the naturalness she felt with Travis.

  The dining room was filling up when the waitress brought the bill. They hadn’t talked about sharing costs, so she grabbed it. “You paid for lunch,” she said. “I’ll get this.” Travis simply nodded.

  She liked that. She had made an agreement with Josh Manning. Travis respected that.

  She’d left her key in her own room, so she entered through his. As she walked over to the connecting door to her room, he followed her.

  “Thanks,” she said, turning and looking up at him.

  “You paid for it.”

  “I mean for everything. For indulging me today in Raton, for letting me come with you, for being such a good...companion.”

  “You’re not bad yourself,” he said. “I can honestly say the drive wouldn’t have been half as interesting without you.”

  The humor in his voice rustled something in her heart. She wished his eyes didn’t crinkle with amusement and that he didn’t have that droll sense of humor. She wished the air didn’t catch fire. The beat of her heart quickened. She swallowed hard.

  Step back.

  She held her breath for a moment. She wanted him to kiss her. The last one had virtually shaken the earth, but she knew it would lead to something more, and neither one of them could afford that. She would be leaving Covenant Falls soon.

  “I should go,” she whispered.

  “Yes, you should,” he replied. Then he added ruefully, “Before we do something stupid.”

  So he felt it, too. She nodded, even while her body disagreed. She knew in her bones that something stupid could never be casual with him.

  “Good night,” she said softly as she stepped inside and turned around to face him.

  “Good night,” he replied and gave her that half smile that always challenged her. “What time do you want to leave in the morning?”

  “You’re the major,” she said. “Any time is good for me.”


  “I’ll meet you for breakfast at seven?”

  She nodded, and he closed the door. She didn’t want him to. She was full of need. She wanted to kiss him, to feel his hands on her. But she didn’t want to start something she couldn’t finish. The only way she could move on with her life was to visit that village in Syria...

  Travis was too decent a guy for a one-night stand. As lightly as he’d mentioned an ex-fiancé, her rejection had obviously wounded him. It had been in his voice and perhaps had been responsible for his initial reluctance to bring her along. She didn’t want to do anything that might make him regret letting her accompany him.

  She took a deep breath and forced herself to move away from the door.

  She went to the window and looked out. There was the interstate and hills. Above, clouds played hide and seek with the moon. Thoughts were furiously competing for her attention.

  Don’t think about Travis Hammond. It could lead to nothing but heartache.

  Think about the story. A story. Any story.

  She opened her tablet and started writing about Raton, the people there, its history, the historical theater that drew acts from San Francisco and the hat cemetery.

  When she finished, she tapped Save on her device and closed it. She would read what she wrote tomorrow and decide whether it was worth trying to sell. It was entirely different from anything else she’d written in the past ten years.

  But she was writing again, something she hadn’t been able to do until now. Step one.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  THE NEXT WEEK was going to be hell.

  Travis knew he wasn’t going to get much sleep tonight. Maybe not much for a week. How could he send Jenny back to Covenant Falls without admitting he couldn’t handle being around her?

  He took yet another icy shower. He suspected he had a number of them ahead. At this rate, he was going to be the cleanest man in the West, maybe in the country.