Save Me

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “Have you checked in her hometown?”

  My blood starts to boil and I want to ask if Marley is stupid, but I bite my tongue. “Her father died when she was younger and I never met her mother. Penny and I met in a bar. She was in San Diego on vacation. To say we hit it off would be an understatement. When she left I thought I wouldn’t see her again, but she proved me wrong immediately. As soon as she made it to her first layover, she turned right around and came back to California. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but had no idea she felt the same way until she came back. We married quickly because there wasn’t a reason to wait. Penny told me she was pregnant a few months into our marriage and our daughter, Claire, was born. She’s nine-years old.”

  “This may be a sensitive question, but is Claire yours?”

  I smile at the thought of my daughter and reach into my back pocket to pull out my wallet. I take out the last picture I received from Penny, well Frannie, and its Claire’s second grade photo. Marley isn’t the first person to ask if Claire is mine, but all it takes is for the person asking to take a look at Claire and see she looks just like me. Placing the photo on Marley’s desk, I slide it toward her.

  “Well that answers my question,” Marley says, nodding.

  Taking the photo back I look at Claire and silently tell her that I’m coming for her.

  “If you ‘died’ four months into your mission and you say that your daughter is nine, how’d you get that picture?” Marley asks.

  “Well, this is where shit gets complicated, ma’am. Our team leader’s wife knew we were alive and kept sending us care packages so we wouldn’t know something was up.”

  “That’s fucked up.” The statement must shock Marley as she quickly covers her mouth. Thing is, her response was so quiet that I almost didn’t hear her, but I like knowing she’s not afraid to drop the f-bomb when it’s warranted.

  “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

  “I feel really sorry for you, Tucker.”

  I want to tell her thank you, but I don’t need pity. I want answers. I want my family back. “Please, just help me find my wife and daughter.”

  Marley nods and wipes an errant tear that’s fallen down her cheek. I direct my gaze down at my lap because I don’t want her to know how she’s affecting me. I don’t want to see her heart break for me because I’m not worth it. The ache she’s feeling in her heart needs to be focused on finding Penny and Claire.

  “Claire’s in second grade?”

  I sit up, rubbing my hand up and down my leg. “Third, now.” The only reason I know this is because of the care packages and the reports cards I was receiving. “She’s just like me with having a birthday that is later than your classmates.”

  “Okay. I’ll need that picture and one of Penny.”

  I quickly hand the picture back to Marley and pull out the last one I received of Penny. If I had to guess it was probably seven or eight years old. Even when I deployed after Claire was born, Penny would only send pictures of our daughter. Rarely would she be in them. It didn’t matter because I always kept my favorite picture of Penny in my helmet. I take a long look at my wife, with her blonde hair in a messy bun and her sunglasses resting on the top of her head. We had just come back from the beach and she was outside hosing off Claire’s toys when I called her name and snapped the photo. Reluctantly, I hand the photo to Marley, who puts each one into her scanner. A few clicks later and they’re both back in my hand and tucked inside my wallet for safe keeping. That is until I pull them out later when I’m lying in bed, wondering if they’re safe.

  “What’s your wife’s name?”

  “Penelope Ann McCoy,” I say with a sigh. I finally feel like Marley has listened to my plight and she’s willing to help me.

  While typing on her computer, Marley rattles off her next question without glancing at me. “Maiden name?”

  “Kolowski.”

  “And Claire’s name?”

  “Claire Ann McCoy.”

  Marley continues to ask pertinent questions with me giving her everything she needs to know and then some. With each click of the keyboard, I grow more anxious. Could Marley be the one to find my wife and daughter? I don’t want to get my hopes up, but maybe Carole is right and a woman private investigator will have a better chance than a man—especially one who focuses on searching for kidnapped children.

  That thought makes me pause. I refuse to believe Penny kidnapped Claire. I can easily admit that Penny and I hadn’t known each other long when we married, but I was in love and in the middle of a war. War makes you lonely and Penny filled that void. When Claire came along, she filled a hole in my heart that I didn’t know I had.

  When I left on the snatch and grab mission, everything was fine … or so I thought. No, I believed everything was fine and that my wife would be waiting for me to come home. I told her, just as I did with all my missions, that I’d be coming home to her. I have never lied to her and I never will.

  “Okay, I’ve run Claire’s name through a system I use to check every student and registered homeschool student, and have come back with nothing.”

  “I know. That’s the answer I’ve been given over and over again. Claire’s not registered in school, or she’s not registered under that name.”

  “Why do you think she’d be under a different name?”

  “It’s a hunch. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. Penny didn’t take my pension, which to me means she didn’t leave me. She also left in the middle of the night. Penny hated being out after dark, especially with Claire. The story I’ve been told doesn’t add up with the person I know Penny to be.”

  Marley fingers moves along her keyboard, I assume adding notes to my file. When she’s done, she sighs and looks at me. “Mr. McCoy I think I have enough information to start, but I’m going to be honest. Penny has been gone for a long time and usually the longer they’re gone, the harder they are to find. Most people who leave their world behind are running from something, and the fact that none of your friends filed a missing persons report concerns me.”

  I feel as if a ton of bricks are being pressed into my chest, while a light bulb explodes right in front of me. I never asked Ryley if a missing persons report was filed, nor did I look for one, or file one myself.

  “I understand, ma’am,” I say, even though I refuse to believe they can’t be found. People don’t disappear unless they’re dead, and I know they’re not—I can feel it in my bones. “Please call me if you need anything, or have an update.”

  “I will, Mr. McCoy.”

  We shake hands, and I hold hers for a beat longer, hoping I can convey how important my quest is before I exit her office.

  “I CAN’T BELIEVE you bought a house across from the shipyard,” I say as I peer through the high-powered binoculars that Evan Archer keeps on his upper deck. Everything on the other side of the Puget Sound looks crystal clear, as if the sailors he’s watching are standing right in front of him. The only thing lacking from the Puget Sound Naval Shipyard are SEALs, and I don’t mean the kind you find loitering the shores.

  Archer sets a beer down next to me and leans over the balcony, letting his own dangle from between his fingers. We’ve been friends for a long time, meeting for the first time when we were assigned to the same SEAL team. Penny and Ryley hit it off immediately and were often too chatty during the team’s gatherings, making Evan and I wonder what the women were up to. We never felt like we had to worry about our wives when we were deployed, which makes me question why a missing persons report for Penny and Claire was never filed.

  “I bought for the view,” Archer replies, laughing. The view from his deck is spectacular, even if it does look directly upon a shipyard. I could spend hours out here, watching the boats as they coast up and down the Sound. The water is always calling my name, so the Navy was the only choice I had for a career. It’s what I wanted to do; becoming a SEAL was the icing on the cake for me.

  “What goes on over there?” I ask
. Ever since Evan’s been back he has been watching everything. He’s always searching for hidden meanings in the actions of people around him.

  “Oh you know, a little bit of this and that.”

  I don’t know if Archer is being coy on purpose or not. Either way, I don’t appreciate it. I don’t have time for games. Pulling the binoculars away from my eyes, I glare at him, and he picks up his beer, taking a long pull before returning his attention to the shipyard. There had to be a reason for him to buy here.

  “Care to elaborate?”

  Archer sighs and looks around. “Chesley’s over there. About six weeks ago he arrived in the middle of the night by helo. I had noticed a lot of activity at the yard earlier in the day. They moved a sub and a carrier, and you know how slow shipyards move. That night I was watching with my night vision goggles and caught sight of the bird. Sure enough, hopping off that helo and running into building C was none other than the Brigadier General.”

  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Chesley would show up here, especially since Archer is across the Sound.

  “So why did you buy here?”

  Archer shrugs. “I wasn’t ready to let go, and being across from the yard gives me peace of mind. Now I’m on constant alert and have installed a state of the art alarm system with hidden cameras because I don’t trust them.” He points across the water at the same people who were once considered family. “We’re the only ones that can bring Chesley down with Ingram and he knows it. I have no doubt that the reason he’s hanging out in a Navy shipyard is because my house is in his line of sight. He’s watching me. I’m watching them. What sucks for him is that I have access to the best equipment—night vision, guns, you name it I have it. He probably thinks I’m siting here sipping coffee and enjoying retirement.”

  “Aren’t you?”

  “Nah. I mean I do my thing and have my jobs, but I watch them, recording the shit they do. They want us dead and I’m not going down without a fight.”

  I nod in agreement before picking up the binoculars again. I watch movements—doors opening and closing, and the people who come and go—taking mental notes of what’s going on. As far as I’m concerned, I’m still an active SEAL whether the Navy wants to recognize me or not and I’m always thinking like one.

  The three members of SEAL Team 3 were offered early retirement once the arrests were made. The Navy was quick to dismiss any wrong doing on their part, and mostly they were right. Between the missing documents, paper shuffling, and hidden flight manifests, most people didn’t have a clue what was going on. It also helped the Navy’s case when Captain O’Keefe went missing, only to turn up dead later. But not before letters detailing the entire mission were found in his house. Those letters now are supposedly safe in Washington, DC. From what I’ve been told those will be used as evidence in the Lawson / Ingram trials.

  It was Justin Rask and I who refused retirement, but for different reasons. For Rask, he wants to feel like he still has a family and the Navy provides that. The Navy is willing to keep Rask active because he’s not missing his family. They choose to ignore him. Apparently he’s not a lawsuit threat. But for me, my reason is simple: I want them to pay.

  Evan Archer took the retirement payout, but that didn’t prevent his fiancée from filing a lawsuit on their son’s behalf for emotional stress, fraud, and a slew of other reasons. Ryley wants to make sure their son is well provided for as a result of the suffering they’ve both had to endure. Who knows if that will ever see it’s day in court, but I hope to be there when it does, and pray that my family will be filing the same lawsuit once I find them. Archer is enjoying retirement as a workingman, running a security firm that works closely with the CIA on political details. His twin brother, Nate, will be running their field office in Washington, DC.

  Raymond “River” Riveria was by all accounts a damn fine team leader. If he knew what was going on, he hid it well. I want to believe River was in the dark just like the rest of us, and was as surprised as we were when he came home only to find out the team had all been dead and buried for years. The whereabouts of River are unknown at this time. The day that Evan and Nate confronted River about his wife Frannie’s involvement, his house blew up seconds after the Archer brothers left. No body fragments were found in the rubble.

  “How’d your meeting go today?” Archer asks, switching topics. It’s a habit with us; first we’ll discuss our theories, but only briefly because we don’t know who’s listening, and then we’ll talk about daily life with hopes to bore whoever may be lurking down the road.

  “I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but I can’t lie, they are. She specializes in finding kids who have been kidnapped by parents. I told her Penny didn’t kidnap Claire, but it looks that way to an outsider.”

  “No one believes us,” Archer says, much to my agreement. “They think we’re either lying or went rogue and are blaming the military for a cover up that doesn’t exist.”

  “Cara has the letters from O’Keefe. What’s she doing with them?” Captain O’Keefe had a heavy part in our deployment and subsequent life in Cuba for six years. He was the only one to come and go, always promising that the next rendezvous point would be the last. Except each time the team would unearth another child sex ringleader and, as parents themselves, wanted to end the people involved, O’Keefe came back with more orders.

  Cara Hughes is the FBI agent who has been helping us. She’s also Nate’s girlfriend, who I had the pleasure of meeting a few times before we deployed. Since returning, she’s been by our sides trying to figure out how everything became so fucked up.

  “They went missing.” The anger is Archer’s voice is absent. He should be pissed off. “It’s okay though because we made so many copies before she turned them over. Ingram, Lawson, and Chesley, they’re going down. It’s only a matter of time. Cara says they have enough to prosecute Lawson on child pornography, rape of a minor, and some other shit that went in one ear and out the other. Ingram is out on bail.”

  “Too bad we don’t know the guard,” I add, knowing that if I did, I’d ask for five minutes alone with the admiral. Or I could find out what cell he’s in, set up in the trees near the jail, and aim my rifle at this head. Thing is, I need answers and he has them. He’s no good to me if he’s dead.

  We both turn when we hear the sliding glass door open. Ryley pokes her head out, smiling at us. Seeing her and EJ every day is difficult. Between the longing for Penny and Claire and the anger because I can’t find them, spending time with Archer and his family is hard. But this is where I’ll call home, until I can prove to the US Government that I’m alive. All I need is my birth certificate or a DNA test to do so, making the need to find Penny and Claire even greater. The other option is to exhume my mother, and the last thing I want to do is disturb her resting place.

  “Hey, guys, are you ready for dinner?” Ryley steps into Archer’s side and wraps her arms around him. They’re a couple who have been through a lot and are persevering. Aside from Archer being gone, when the team came home, Ryley was engaged to his twin brother, Nate. I haven’t been privy to all that happened between them, but I do know an attempt was made on Ryley and her mom, Carole’s, life. The car accident left Ryley with a broken arm and Carole temporarily wheelchair bound. From that point forward, Archer has been glued to Ryley’s hip, only leaving her side to go to work. It was Ryley who ended up asking Archer to marry her. Their wedding is set for next summer once her mom can walk down the aisle holding Nate’s arm.

  “I’m starving,” Archer says, kissing Ryley on the forehead. The sight makes me jealous, but I’m happy for my friend. I want to believe that I’ll have this again, soon but I know the clock is working against me. Even though I was declared dead six years ago, the seven-year mark of being absent is approaching. The last thing I want to find out is that Penny has remarried and moved on with her life, even though I’m suspecting that’s the case.

  “Tucker, are you hungry?” I nod and finish my beer. Ryley ha
s been so cordial and accommodating to me, even though her and Archer should be alone, getting to know each other again and bonding as a family. She’s opened her door, home, and heart to me, making sure I’ve felt welcomed since they moved back to Washington.

  As soon as I step into the house, I’m attacked by EJ—the walking, talking, spitting image of Archer, but with Ryley’s red hair. I pick him up, even though he’s getting too big for this type of stuff, and give him a hug. I take little consolation in knowing that EJ has never met Claire so he’s not missing her or asking me where she is. I’m not sure if I’d be able to handle those types of questions.

  “Do you want to play hide-n-seek after dinner, Tucker?”

  How can I say no?

  “You bet, but you have to promise to eat all your vegetables.”

  “Deal,” EJ replies, giving me a high-five. After setting him down, I follow him downstairs where the main part of the house is. The view from the living room is still as spectacular from the porch, but the vantage point upstairs is what makes this house worth it.

  “EJ and I are going to play a game of hide and go seek after dinner,” I say, causing Ryley to groan. She’s mentioned a few times that I don’t need to entertain EJ, but I don’t mind. Sometimes I need the distraction.

  “EJ, make sure you don’t hide in your special place. That’s only for me, okay?”

  “Okay, Evan.”

  I can’t help but frown at Archer who shakes his head. Two things have caught me off-guard just now: The fact that EJ has his own hiding spot, and that he’s still not calling Archer ‘Dad’.

  It’s the hiding spot, which truly gives me pause and makes me wonder what the hell Archer is preparing for.

  AFTER A HIGH STAKE game of hide-n-seek and tag with EJ, the little guy is finally ready for bed. It’s been a long time since I’ve played with someone so young. There were times, when I was chasing him around the yard, that I had flashbacks of doing similar things with Claire. Only when we’d play hide-n-seek she’d cheat and watch where I was hiding. Of course, Penny was helping her. I didn’t mind though. Hearing Claire squeal when she found me was worth it.