Montana Grit

by Ramona Flightner

  “What are you doing here?” Leticia whispered as she attempted to close the hotel room door. She stepped back as Alistair pushed his way inside.

  “Looking for ye.” His gaze roved over her as though assessing her for injuries, and it sharpened as he noted the drawn and devastated look in her eyes.

  “You must leave.” Her gaze darted to the closed door and then back to Alistair.

  “He’s not returnin’ anytime soon. He’s havin’ too much fun with Warren at one of the saloons near Last Chance Gulch.” He shifted from foot to foot and then exhaled when she remained silent. “Ye deserve better than a man like him.”

  She glared at Alistair. “I thought I did, but I learned differently.”

  When she moved to spin away from him, he grabbed her. “Dammit, I’m sorry. I let my pride an’ anger an’ hurt blind me.” His touch gentled as she began to tremble. “I never thought ye’d leave.” He tugged her forward, pulling her into his arms. She remained stiff as a board for a few moments, but he ran his hands over her shoulders and back, and she eventually relaxed into his caresses.

  “How is she?” she breathed.

  “Scared. Determined to be brave.” He took a step away and traced her hairline with his thumbs. “Hopeful ye will return to her.”

  Tears poured down her cheeks, and she pulled from Alistair’s embrace, sitting on the lone chair in the room. “Why have you come? There is no reason for you to be here, except to tease me with what I can never have.”

  He watched her with passionate intensity. “An’ what is that, Leticia? What do you believe ye can never have?”

  “A family. A husband who loves me.” She closed her eyes as she scrubbed at her cheeks. “I’m married to Josiah Fry. I am Mrs. Fry.” She shuddered at the words. “I must accept who I am.”

  “Nae,” Alistair rasped. “Ye are Leticia Browne. The woman I love. The woman I will marry.”

  “I lied to you.” She met his wounded gaze, her eyes dulled with disillusionment and grief.

  “Aye, ye did. An’ I failed to listen to ye when ye tried to explain to me why.” He perched on the edge of the bed in front of her. He studied her and understood she would not yet leave with him. “I’m ready to listen now.”

  She wrung her hands together, her gaze lowered as she spoke in a barely audible voice. “We married in Kansas in 1877. I thought he was worldly and wise, and I couldn’t believe he wanted someone like me.” She gave a huff of humorless laughter and gripped her fingers tighter together. “I should have understood at the time that I was an easy mark with an elderly aunt as my only relative. We married two months after we met.”

  At the long silence, Alistair asked, “Was he cruel?”

  She closed her eyes. “No. But he was a schemer and wanted more than a wife who was happy to remain home and keep a house.” She sniffled. “Soon I was helping him with his schemes. Charming his so-called friends out of money as he talked about investments that he never planned on making.”

  Alistair leaned away from her. “Why? That’s not who ye are. Ye’re a good, honorable woman.”

  She half smiled. “At first I believed his far-fetched ideas. By the time I understood I was helping him swindle money from unsuspecting families, I was his accomplice. However, he convinced me that I would spend the rest of my life in jail if I ever spoke up and that my only recourse was to continue as I was.” She shook her head. “I had no reason to believe him, but I could see no way free of him. I had colluded with him and helped him steal hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars.” She shivered. “Words can be more powerful than a fist.”

  “What happened to make ye flee to Montana?” He reached forward and traced a hand down her arm until he clasped her hand.

  “We had moved around a lot, and I wanted to settle down. I dreamed of a home with a piece of land. Someplace stable to raise our child.” She sighed as she swiped at her cheek. “He was irate I was with child. At first he encouraged me to visit an herbalist.” At the look of horror on Alistair’s face, she said, “But I refused, and, as my condition became more obvious, he was more distant. I suffered terrible bouts of nausea, and I clung to that as my reason to refuse to aid him in his schemes.”

  She picked at a button. “It’s as though my pregnancy gave me the strength to stand up to him and his scams. I wasn’t only speaking for myself but for my child too.” She finally raised her gaze to meet Alistair’s. “We had a terrible fight after he failed to trick a man, and he returned to our rented house in a rage. He railed at me for my pregnancy, for denying him his rights as a husband to command me to do what he wished, that I needed to get rid of the brat as soon as possible because he needed my help.”

  “What?” Alistair asked, his hand tightening over hers.

  She paled. “He wanted me to leave my baby, my Hortence, at an orphanage.” She swallowed and barreled on. “I’d been having trouble sleeping with the pregnancy, and the doctor had given me something to help. I’m not sure what it was, but it was strong. The next night, when he came home, I gave him a glass of whiskey laced with the sleeping draught.” Her gaze was filled with guilt, hope, and resignation as she stared at Alistair. “A part of me feared I’d killed him. That I was in fact a widow. But I dared not seek out any information about him for fear he’d find Hortence and me.”

  “Ye would have been lucky had he died.”

  She shook her head. “No. I’m so relieved to know I didn’t kill him. That I’m not a murderer.” She gripped her hands together. “I slipped away while he slept and hid near the train station that night, waiting until dawn, when I stole away on a train and traveled to Saint Louis. It was hot and humid, and I knew no one. I knew the small amount of money I’d taken from our sock drawer would quickly disappear.” She let out a stuttering breath.

  “What did you do?” he whispered.

  “I found a desperately sad widower with five children and became his governess. He thought I was fat, and, by the time he realized I was to have a child, he was half in love with me.” She bowed her head as though in shame. “He supported me through the rest of my pregnancy, through the birth, and wanted to marry me.” She met Alistair’s jealous gaze.

  “Why didn’t ye?”

  “I feared I wasn’t free.” She blinked away a tear. “And no matter his kindness in the beginning, I didn’t love him. I don’t know if I could have loved any man at that point. After my husband.” She continued to fidget with her hands in her lap. “And then the widower’s sister visited and became irate at my presence. Called me words worse than those bandied about the women at the Boudoir. His perception of me changed, and he no longer saw me with much esteem. I was little more than a drudge, caring for his children.”

  After a moment’s silence, Alistair whispered, “Did he hurt ye?”

  She shook her head. “No, but I feared he would ignore any further denials to my bed. He had begun to doubt that I had been married. And felt that any deference I had been given had been in error.”

  “What did ye do?”

  She took a deep breath and sniffled. “I read an advertisement seeking a teacher in a small town in Montana. I thought I’d be safe there. No one would think to look for me there.” She swiped at her cheek. “And I wanted a new start for my child and me.” She met his gaze. “I answered the advertisement and was shocked when I received a letter a few months later, asking me to arrive by the first part of August that year.” Her gaze was distant as though imagining past scenes. “Hortence and I slipped away when the widower’s family was at a private function I had not been invited to.”

  “That was courageous,” Alistair said.

  “Courage has very little to do with anything when you have a child to support,” Leticia said. “You discover what you will do to ensure your child is cared for. And hopefully thrives.”

  “So you did have some training with children,” Alistair murmured. At her absent shrug, he frowned. “What is it?”

  “All I’ve done since I married Josiah is lie
and deceive and hurt those who would be good to me.”

  He rubbed away her tears that fell. “I do no’ agree. I think ye’ve learned how to survive, which is admirable.” He shook his head. “I’ll never understand why ye did no’ tell me all this before.”

  “How could I? You’re honorable and truthful, and I stole. I stole and cheated and lied. I forged letters of recommendation to obtain my teaching position.” She swiped at her cheeks.

  He sat in silence a few minutes. Sounds from the street filtered up, with wagons rolling past and men calling out to each other. “Why didn’t ye want to marry me?”

  “I wasn’t divorced. I was uncertain I was a widow. And I dared not confirm that for fear he could track me down. A part of me hoped he had died at the hands of some irate man after one of his schemes failed.” Her defiant gaze met his. “I’m not sorry for saying that.” She turned her hand over and laced her fingers with his. “I feared using my real name. Would our marriage be legal if I didn’t use my real name?”

  “Ye should have talked with me. All this could have been resolved.” He frowned. “I wouldna have been happy, but I would have wanted ye, no matter what. Widowed or divorced, it wouldna have mattered.”

  “I couldn’t divorce him in Kansas. There was no abuse. He provided for me. He didn’t abandon me.” She shivered. “I abandoned him.”

  Alistair smiled. “It’s not as difficult here, love. In Montana, ye can divorce because ye want to marry the man who will give ye a better life.”

  She failed to smile at his teasing. “I can’t divorce. And I can’t marry you.” When she attempted to free herself from his touch, he firmed his grip.

  “What are ye talkin’ about?” His eyes flashed. “It’s why we’re spendin’ a fortune havin’ Warren travel with me. Although I think he’s enjoyin’ himself.”

  “If I divorce Josiah, he’ll fight to have custody of Hortence.” She blinked. “I can’t let a man such as him raise her. If I am with him, I can’t have her with me. She’ll have the best chance of a good life with a family like yours.”

  Alistair groaned as he tugged her closer to him on the bed until their foreheads almost touched. “That’s hogwash, an’ ye know it. She’ll have the best life with her mother.” He backed away and traced a finger down her cheek. “Ye can’t let him control ye with fear, with his lying words. I can imagine all he threatened ye with. Jail time. Living on the streets. Living the life of a whore. Sending Hortence to a faraway orphanage. Never seeing Hortence again.” He paused as he saw the truth of his words echoed in her eyes. “Ye can fight him an’ win.”

  “I’ve only ever bested him when I’ve run away.”

  “Ye’re not runnin’ this time,” Alistair growled. “Except for right now. Gather yer things, an’ come with me. I dinna want ye spendin’ one more night under the same roof as him.”

  “I can’t stay with you. We aren’t married.”

  “I refuse to leave ye at the mercy of such a man. I failed to protect ye from him when he came back. I willna abandon ye now. Besides, we are to marry. If ye’ll have me.” He rose and held out a hand for her, frowning as he saw her on the verge of sobbing. “Leticia?”

  She took his hand and stood, moving with alacrity to the small wardrobe to pull out her traveling bag and the few clothes she had stuffed inside when she left Bear Grass Springs. After only a moment, she turned and nodded. He opened the door and ushered her outside.

  Dusk was falling when they emerged onto the boardwalk. Leticia clung to Alistair’s arm as few respectable women walked along the boardwalk at this hour, and the men had become rowdier with the passage of time and the consumption of drink. The breeze had stilled, and the scents of manure, wood smoke, and rotting food permeated the air as they passed an alley.

  They arrived at a grander hotel a few blocks away. Alistair grabbed her hand and led her upstairs, the clerk unperturbed at the arrival of another guest. Alistair opened the door to his room and waited for her to precede him inside. Its location at the back of the hotel prevented the loud din from the street to penetrate the room. Two sitting chairs, a bureau, and an armoire filled the large room, with the bed along the far wall. He flicked the lock after he entered.

  She spun to face him, her eyes rounded at the soft click. “Alistair?”

  “In case yer husband tries to find ye, I dinna want him waltzing in. He’s no’ a dumb man, and he will eventually remember Warren.” He half smiled. “When the whiskey wears off.”

  “How can you afford such a place?” Her gaze flitted over the elegant furnishings, the thick curtains, and the fine bedding.

  “Warren always stays here when in Helena. I needed his help, and I will stay where he likes, to ensure his aid.” He shrugged. “There’s money.”

  “I hate that you are going into arrears for me,” she whispered.

  “I’m not. But, even if I were, ye’re worth any debt.” He met her watery gaze. “Annabelle has money. She’s helping us. And Cailean and I are going into a partnership with another soon. But that’s a tale for another day.”

  Leticia seemed to deflate. “Annabelle,” she whispered. “I’ll never be out of her debt.”

  “Aye, I fear that’s true. I owe her more than I could ever repay her.” He watched as Leticia studied him in confusion. “For granting ye a haven an’ keepin’ ye safe. Ye an’ wee Hortence.” He cleared his throat. “The money will be repaid, Lettie.” He watched her move with the restless energy of an unbroken colt as he sat in one of the chairs.

  She nodded and looked around the room as though searching for another topic. “Why the grimace?” She flushed after she asked the question.

  “These chairs look comfortable, but they’re hard. I dinna look forward to a night spent sleeping in it.”

  Her flush deepened. “I thought you’d sleep beside me.”

  His eyes gleamed, but he shook his head. “I will no’ dishonor ye. Nor make ye feel as though ye have no choice in what ye want.”

  Her face shone with gratitude. “Thank you.” She paused as she cleared her throat after her voice broke as she fought tears. “I can’t seem to stop crying. I’m sorry.”

  “I can only imagine what ye’ve been through the past few days. I’ve been frantic, and I did no’ leave Bear Grass Springs believin’ I’d never return.” He shifted around in the chair, grimacing as no movement made it more comfortable.

  “You can’t sleep on that chair, Alistair,” she said as she sat on the edge of the bed. She flushed as her stomach gurgled.

  “Ye’re hungry.” He rose and met her startled gaze. “Wait here. I’ll bring food back. I’ll knock and talk to ye through the door. Dinna open it unless ye hear my voice.” When she nodded, he strode through the door.

  She shut the door and locked it after him and then spun to her bag. She raced behind the privacy screen and shucked her dress, donning a nightdress and wrap. She then sat in one of the chairs and removed the pins from her hair, rapidly freeing it and finger-combing it. After pulling it back in a loose braid, she tied it with a string and then sat as she awaited Alistair’s return.

  She jumped at the loud knock on the door and tiptoed to it.

  “’Tis me, Lettie. I’ve food. Ye can let me in.”

  She unlocked the door and peered out before she fully opened it to him.

  “Smart lass,” he said with a wry smile. “I come bearing gifts.” He held up two plates and winked at her as he entered. He set them on the bureau and then frowned as he looked around the room. “We have no real table.”

  She locked the door and then followed him. “It’s fine, Alistair. I can eat with a plate propped on my lap.” She pulled back a napkin to discover a plate of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and creamed corn. “Smells delicious,” she whispered.

  Alistair frowned as Leticia moved to a chair and ate with gusto. “Did he no’ feed ye?”

  “He said he’d be back with food. But I think, once he started gambling or working on his next scheme, he forgot about m
e and any promise he had made.” She wolfed down a piece of chicken, then attacked the mashed potatoes before she realized Alistair wasn’t eating. Her fork hit the plate with a clang, and she flushed. “I beg your pardon. You must think I’m no better than a wild animal.”

  “No,” Alistair rasped. “I’m sittin’ here, attempting to fight my anger that ye’ve been starved since ye left Bear Grass Springs. That ye were no’ cared for as ye should have been.” He watched as one of her fingers traced the edge of her plate. “For God’s sake, Lettie, eat.”

  She shook her head. “Why won’t you eat?”

  “I’m waitin’ to see if ye are still hungry when ye are done with yer plate of food. If ye are, ye can have some of mine. Or all of it.”

  She fought and lost her battle with tears. “But you’re always hungry. You should eat.”

  He set aside his plate and knelt in front of her. “Nae. I’ll no’ eat until I ken ye’re full.” He swiped at her tears. “I failed ye in the past, Lettie, but I mean to prove to ye that I am honorable. That ye can count on me.”

  She reached out a trembling hand and touched his cheek. “I still can’t believe you are here. That you want to be here with me. That you are concerned about my welfare.”

  “I hope ye can accustom yerself to it, as I have no plans to cease.”

  His wry statement wrought a strangled sob from her. He set aside her plate and pulled her to him, enfolding her in his arms. “I dinna mean to make ye cry. I want ye to eat and to eat yer fill. Then I want ye to rest, as I ken ye havena rested since ye left Hortence behind. Ye are no’ alone, Lettie. I’m here. Warren’s here. The MacKinnons are behind ye. We will support ye as ye free yerself from yer husband.”

  He held her as she sobbed, running soothing hands over her back. “Shh, love, ye’ll make yerself sick.”

  “I never thought you’d want to hold me again,” she gasped. “I hoped. I prayed, but, after I left with him, I thought you’d forget about me. Find another to love.”