From Geek to Goddess (Zodiac Girls)

by Cathy Hopkins

  There was no rest of the message.

  What site? I thought. Then I remembered the card Hermie had left me. It was for an astrological site. Why had I thrown it away? Because I was trying to smarm my way in with the senior girls by showing that I wasn’t into boys, that’s why. But maybe this Hermet or Hermie or whatever he was called had been trying to tell me something. Maybe the stars were in a bad place for me but the phase would pass.

  I quickly grabbed my jacket, let myself out of our room and crept downstairs. Everywhere was quiet and the main lights were switched off. There was just a glow from the night light down in the hall. I wish I’d brought a torch, I thought, as I tiptoed along to the dining room, then through into the kitchen and prayed that the back door was open. Boris, the school tabby cat, was asleep on one of the windowsills at the back of the kitchen. He lazily opened one eye then fell asleep again.

  “Good cat, good Boris,” I said as I tried the door.

  It was locked, with two enormous bolts, one at the top and one at the bottom. I pulled back the bottom one then pulled over a chair to reach the top one. Two minutes later I was outside.

  The moment I stepped outside a security light came on and flooded the area. I darted behind a wheelie bin, where I giggled to myself. Not because it was funny but because I was feeling nervous. Although I’d joked about the school being a prison, this was like in the movies when a prisoner tries to escape. Any minute now, I thought, a siren’s going to wail and the teachers are going to appear at the windows with guns. I glanced up but the windows were dark. It was going to be okay.

  There were three enormous wheelie bins to the right of the kitchen door. Now which one did I throw the card into? I asked myself. And why am I even doing this? It’s mad. Why don’t I just text Hermie back and say I lost the card? No, better not, I decided. He might think I was ignoring him, and after earlier this evening, I knew only too well how horrible that felt.

  Okay, winners never quit, I thought as I hoisted myself up onto a pile of boxes and climbed into the first bin. Thank God those security lights are on, I thought, or I wouldn’t have been able to see a thing.

  I spent the next five minutes sifting through bin bags full of vegetable peelings, bits of old paper and rotting fruit. It smelt disgusting. Of decaying meat and bad eggs mixed with a bit of mouldy custard. Not my favourite pong.

  And then I saw it. The card was stuck to the side of the bin at the top on the right. I pulled it off and began to climb out.

  Suddenly a window opened on the first floor and a face peered out. It was Sara and she was soon joined by Mercedes.

  “Is someone out there?” called Mercedes.

  Sara looked over the area as I ducked down, but too late. She’d seen me. I heard her snort back laughter.

  “It’s Gemma Whiting! There. In the rubbish.”

  Mercedes looked over to where she’d pointed and burst out laughing too. “Aw, Gemma. Not had enough supper, baby? Feeling a bit hungry-wungry?”

  “No. Someone put her out with the rubbish,” sniggered Sara.

  “Neither, actually,” I said as I climbed out as gracefully as I could, which was hard, seeing as I had to hoist my leg up, then haul myself over the side. “Actually, I lost something.”

  Then I pulled myself up tall and tried my best to look as dignified as possible. A difficult feat with a banana peel on my head and a leaf of cabbage stuck to my left ear.

  Chapter Five

  Zodiac Girl

  Ruth was asleep by the time I got back to our room. I waited until the next morning when she’d gone to the bathroom, then I quickly opened my laptop. I went to Internet Explorer, where I typed in the astrology website address.

  Soft space-age music began to play as a night sky full of stars and planets appeared on the screen. As it downloaded, a pale blue form appeared, asking for my name, birthday and place of birth. I dutifully typed them in and pressed the submit button.

  A second later, the screen burst into life and if no one was awake on our floor, they would have been then as a fanfare of trumpets blasted out of the computer and the screen lit up with flashing lights and bursts of fireworks.

  “Wow!” I said as I leapt back in my chair. “What the…?”

  “Congratulations, Gemma Gemini,” flashed a message across the sky, “YOU are this month’s ZODIAC GIRL.” And the fanfare grew louder, tan-tan-na-da DA DA DA DA DA.

  The form on the screen swirled about a bit then disappeared and what looked like some sort of map with lines all over it took its place. Your personal birth chart, it said underneath. After that there were pages of writing. Sun in Gemini, Rising sign is Aries, Moon in Cancer, Mars is in Aries, Venus in Cancer, Uranus in Capricorn and on it went saying that this planet was here, that planet was there. None of it made any sense to me, except that I was a Gemini. And I already knew that, as my birthday is on May 26th.

  So what? I thought as I scanned the pages. Why does Hermie want me to know all this, unless he’s some kind of astrology enthusiast? I was just about to shut the computer down when a blurry message flashed onto the right of the screen.

  “Hey Gemma. Gemini. Zodiac Girl. Ruled by Mercury. Ask for help. You’ll get it.”

  And that was it.

  The screen went back to playing its spacey music again. So big deal. I’m a Gemini with Aries rising or whatever. Is that it? I felt disappointed. I don’t know what I’d been hoping for, but this certainly wasn’t it. There weren’t any words of wisdom to see me through and it certainly wasn’t going to help me make new friends by advising me what to do or say. Like, “Hi there, I know you might have thought I was mad at first and a bit spotty at the moment but hey, wait a minute, I’m a Zodiac Girl!” And everyone would fall at my feet. Pfff. The site was a letdown. But it had said to ask for help and I’d get it. Ask who for help? I wondered.

  I went back to the mobile phone to see if maybe I’d missed something and there was a clue as to what I should do next.

  There was nothing in the inbox except an image of Hermie looking very pleased with himself. Ah well, I thought. Never mind. It was still a cool phone, so maybe I’d be able to use it instead of my boring old one. If nothing else, I could use it to call my mates. I pressed the button for the address book and found that someone had already got there before me.

  Hermie.

  Hermie again, I thought. What a cheek. Who does he think he is, leaving his number? What a big head. He may have half the Year Elevens swooning over him, but not me. I bet his plan is to give a phone to all the new inmates over the next weeks. He probably got them free with his job at Mercury Communications and giving them away was his way of getting everyone’s attention. Well, not me, pal.

  I decided to phone and tell him so.

  “Hey, Zodiac Girl,” he said when I got through a moment later.

  “Yeah. It’s me. Gemma Gemini. Who’s not going to be part of your fan club just because you gave me a mobile phone with a photo of you looking particularly smarmy. I’m sorry, but you’re not my type. Waaay too old. And I don’t go for the motorbike thing.” Then I thought I might have hurt his feelings, as I had read in one of Chloe’s mags once that it’s hard for boys, having to take rejection. “Look, sorry, but I don’t fancy you, and anyway, I’m only in Year Eight. No hard feelings.”

  Hermie seemed to be having a laughter fit at the other end. “Sure, no hard feelings,” he chuckled. “But did you look at the site properly?”

  “Yeah, it said I get help for a month. And that was it.”

  “Look again,” said Hermie. “Come on, Gemma Gemini. Chill out a bit. Give it a go. You’ve got nothing to lose. Go back to the site. I think you’ll find something you might like there. Your birthchart is well aspected by Venus this week.”

  “Aspected?”

  “It means where your personal planets are in relation to each other.”

  And then he hung up.

  As instructed, I went back to the site. At first nothing happened. Then the spacey music star
ted to play again and blurry words appeared. I strained to read them. Something about Pluto being square to Mercury and Jupiter making me highly persuasive. Renewed energy and for one month, the chance to make my mark and find my calling then a load of stuff about planets being square and sextile. It made no sense to me until a candy pink voucher lined with silver appeared to the top left of the screen. A line at the bottom of it flashed in enormous writing, “PRINT ME OUT.” At least I could see that properly.

  I’d just printed it out and was reading it when Ruth came back in.

  “Oh NO!” I cried. “I don’t believe it!”

  “What? What’s happened?” she asked.

  I threw the voucher on the floor. “That pug-faced nappy-bucket poo-bottom of a messenger boy, Hermie. He only sent me some vouchers for a makeover. A makeover! Can you believe it?” I felt mortified. How could I have been so stupid? To think that I’d imagined he fancied me. Of course he didn’t. He’d singled me out in a glance as the new girl most in need of a makeover! What a cheek!

  “So what’s wrong with that?” asked Ruth.

  “Doh. That’s why he thought I needed help. He must have thought I was so ugly that I need to see a beauty therapist. He must have seen my spot. And my hair. And my uniform.”

  Ruth picked up the voucher and smoothed it out. “Vouchers for Pentangle beauty salon… and oh, wow, Gemma, it says that the budget is unlimited. Whatever it takes, whatever the cost, whatever the recipient wants or needs.”

  “Pfft,” I interrupted. “I bet you one of his girlfriends runs the salon and got him to give out these vouchers to get her business.”

  “Says here that it’s for two,” continued Ruth as she read what the voucher said. “For this Saturday. And that you have to get your mum’s permission. And look, it says there’s a class at the salon on Thursday night on how to find your inner goddess. That’s tonight.”

  “My inner goddess? Yeah, right,” I said as I took it from Ruth and pinned it on my noticeboard. “I won’t ask Mum’s permission. She can use them when she comes out this way to visit. No point in them going to waste, but I’m beyond help in the makeover department. And as for my inner goddess, I think she died.”

  I looked over at Ruth hopefully, but she didn’t realize that this was her cue to say, Oh, no, Gemma, you look fabulous. Jess always did if I moaned on about my looks, and I always did if Jess was having a horrible-hair day. It was one of those unspoken rules between friends. Ruth just shrugged and looked straight at my spot.

  “I think it may be going down a bit,” she said, then looked at my chin. “But you might be getting another one…”

  I turned back to the mirror. She was right. Another lurker was lurking lurkily under the skin. It must have been all the chocolate I ate last night. Huh, serves you right, you stupid thing, I thought as I reached for my phone. I was going to tell that Hermie exactly what I thought.

  “Well, hi there again, Zodiac Girl,” he said when he picked up.

  “You can take your stupid voucher and stick it up Uranus.”

  “Oh, very good,” laughed Hermie. “Not heard that one before.”

  “But a makeover voucher. What a cheek! You must think I’m so ugly.”

  “Hey, no way, Gemma Gemini. I told you, your Venus is in a good place. That means she’s shining some light on you this week.”

  “So what? What’s Venus? A planet. What can that do?”

  “Yeah, Venus is a planet, planet of beauty and harmony. And it’s aspected well in your chart, kiddo. I’m trying to help here, not insult you. And don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re pretty cute for a Year Eight.”

  For a moment, I was lost for words. That was the nicest thing anyone had said to me all week. All month. All year. People used to say it all the time when I was little, and in junior school, and even in Year Seven, I could make myself look halfway decent with a bit of effort. But lately, it all seemed to have gone wrong. It felt like I’d got the wrong head on the wrong body and my hair had taken on a life of its own.

  “Oh. Thanks,” I stuttered. “Um. Okay. And I’m sorry if I made out that you were only giving out phones to add to your fan club.”

  “Not me, babe. You’re the only one that got one. Only one Zodiac Girl at a time. And I’m not some oik out to pick up girls you know, I’m your guardian for the month.”

  “My what?”

  “Guardian. Every Zodiac Girl gets a guardian according to their sign.”

  “But why me?”

  “You’re Gemini. Gemini is ruled by Mercury so that’s me.”

  I remembered his T-shirt. Mercury Communications. “But why? How? I mean, why only one Zodiac Girl and why is it me?”

  “Someone always asks that! It’s you because the stars say it’s you. They’ve lined up in a special way which, to put it simply, means you’ve got a tough time coming up and the planets are going to help you through it.”

  “How?’

  “You’ll find out. Trust me. Just go with it. And read the site properly next time, huh. You may find it useful.”

  When he’d hung up, I did go back to the site and there, sure enough, it said that Gemini was ruled by the planet Mercury and as a Zodiac Girl, it entitled me to the aid of my personal guardian. Hermie. I felt mystified. Guardian? Ruling planet? Aspects of Venus? What was it all about? And what did Hermie have to do with any of it? Okay, so he worked for a place called Mercury Communications, but he was just a motorbike messenger boy, wasn’t he?

  When I got down to breakfast, there seemed to be a buzz of excitement in the dining room.

  “What’s going on?” I asked Rose Watson, who was helping herself to toast and peanut butter from the buffet table.

  She nodded her head towards the hall. “End-of-term show,” she said. “There’s a notice about it in the main hall. For Year Sevens, Eights and Nines.”

  “Really?”

  Rose nodded again. “Auditions will be on Friday afternoon. Proceeds from the show are to go towards building a new science lab. Apparently, if you don’t want to be in the show, you can take part in some kind of social-work outreach programme.”

  No contest, I thought. I knew which I wanted to take part in. Being in a show is one sure way to get friendly with people.

  “What’s the show going to be?”

  “Bugsy Malone,” said Rose as she moved off to join her friends, Grace and Imogen.

  Bugsy Malone! I thought. Well cool. We’d done it at junior school and I’d played Blousey, Bugsy’s girlfriend. This was heaven-sent. Maybe this was my Venus or whatever being well aspected, the stars lining up to help me like Hermie had said. If that really was the case, maybe I could even get the part I’d really wanted back in junior school. Tallulah. Jodie Foster had played her in the film version, and it was the best role ever. I’d learnt all her songs off by heart in case the girl playing her part got flu or something on the night of the performance. I used to drive Mum and Dad mad singing all her numbers morning, noon and night and sometimes even in my sleep according to Mum. Tallulah was so cool, like a teen goddess. If I could get her part now, I’d be really popular. Whoever played Tallulah always was. It went hand in hand with the part.

  I could hardly eat my breakfast, I felt so excited, and went straight to the noticeboard afterwards to sign up for the auditions. To my dismay, there were already four names down for the part of Tallulah. Lois, Sara, Mercedes and Tasha.

  Never mind, I thought, I can audition for both parts, Tallulah and Blousey. I glanced down to see if anyone was down for Blousey yet. The same names were there. Lois, Sara, Mercedes and Tasha.

  If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, I thought as I got out my pen and added my name to the bottom of the list.

  Chapter Six

  Inner goddesses

  As the day went on, the “how to find your inner goddess” class and makeover began to appeal more and more. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. And the message on the site had said I had one month to find my calling. Surely it mea
nt the part in Bugsy. It’s fated, I thought, written in the stars – and isn’t that what astrology is all about?

  At lunchtime, I called Mum.

  “Gemma, is everything all right?” she asked. “Where are you? You sound like you’re in a bucket.”

  “I’m at school of course. In the cloakroom.”

  “So why are you phoning now? Is something wrong?”

  “No. It’s lunch break. Everything’s fine. Just, I’ve been given some vouchers for a beauty salon called Pentangle in the local village, and it says I have to have your permission to use them.”

  “What vouchers? What are you talking about?”

  “Um. Long story. On Saturdays we’re allowed to go into the local village for a few hours. Our house mistress comes with us and brings us back, so she won’t be far away and I’ve checked out the salon and tonight, there’s a workshop on goddesses…”

  “Oh, Gemma, I’m not sure.”

  “I won’t be on my own. My roommate will be coming with me. There are two vouchers. So please can I go?”

  “Well, I’ll check with Mrs Blain, then I’ll get back to you. But how’s school?”

  “Great and I’m up for the part of Tallulah in the school play which is even more of a reason that I need to go to the beauty salon.”

  “So you’re settling in all right?”

  “Yep. Fine,” I said. I wasn’t about to tell her that my first four days had been a disaster, the part of Tallulah wasn’t actually mine yet and that I had the school mouse as a roommate. She didn’t need details, and in any case, all that was about to change. All I had to do was to persuade Ruth.

  I found her later in the afternoon in her usual spot on her bed.

  “Me? No,” she said and got out her book then put on her headphones.

  I went and sat cross-legged on the end of Ruth’s bed until she finally had to register that I wasn’t going to give up on her. Begrudgingly she took off her headphones.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Trying to be invisible isn’t the answer, Ruth. What we need is to change. We both need a makeover. To make the most of ourselves.”