From Geek to Goddess (Zodiac Girls)

by Cathy Hopkins

  “Why?” she asked, staring at me over her thick round glasses.

  Good question, I thought. Maybe I should have taken the part of the undertaker in Bugsy. Anything would be better than this.

  Mrs Blain had spotted my situation and came rushing over.

  “Everything all right?” she asked.

  “No,” said Mrs Compton-Grime. “This nasty child is very irritating. Please take her away.”

  I looked helplessly at Mrs Blain.

  “But… but… but…” I stammered.

  “Remove her from my presence, NOW!”

  Her raised voice caused Matron to look over and scowl at me.

  “Come on, Gemma,” said Mrs Blain. “Mrs Compton-Grime doesn’t want to be visited today. Why don’t you go and join Ruth with Mrs Hamilton.”

  I couldn’t move fast enough and was soon on the other side of the room. Now I’ve blown it, I thought. Judging by the way Mrs Blain was fussing over Mrs Compton-Grime and apologising, she was clearly the school benefactor.

  Mrs Hamilton smiled up at me. She pulled a cushion out from behind her back and threw it on the floor.

  “Take a perch,” she said. “Sorry we don’t have enough chairs to go round, but you’re a young thing, you’ll be okay on the carpet.”

  I dutifully sat at her feet, next to Ruth.

  She leant over close to my ear. “Don’t you worry about that old battleaxe,” she whispered.

  “She said I was annoying,” I said. “And I’d hardly opened my mouth.”

  “Silly old cow,” said Mrs Hamilton, reaching out for a gold box next to her chair. “Just because she’s old, it doesn’t mean she’s nice. Here, dear, have a chocolate. Some things never change, you know. Like you have those mean girls at your school. Same in here. There are the good, the bad and the ugly everywhere.”

  “Tell me about it,” I sighed, as I helped myself to a Belgian caramel cream.

  And she did. She was hilarious. She told us all about the other “inmates” as she called them, and how one had a habit of leaving her teeth in the fridge overnight so that they were cool in her mouth in the morning. Another was a sleepwalker who regularly had to be rescued from the rose bushes in the garden, and one night from the fishpond. Another unfortunate lady thought the matron was her daughter and kept asking her if she had swallowed something nasty, as she always looked so sour. She also called Matron “Betty” which she didn’t like as her name was Marjorie.

  After half an hour of hilarious stories, she said, “Right, now it’s your turn. Tell me all about school.”

  We bombarded her with tales of the bonkers teachers and the yucky school food and our fellow pupils’ foibles. I even told her about Sara and her mates, and how mean they could be, but how I’d answered back a few times. Mrs Hamilton seemed to lap it all up and laughed out loud so often that the Ice Matron came over to see if she was all right. By the time we had to leave, I felt like we were old friends.

  “Do come again,” she said squeezing my hand when I got up to go. “I’ve really enjoyed today, and meeting you and Ruth. I only arrived last week and I’m bored out of my mind already. I enjoy a good laugh and they are few and far between around here.” Then she winked and said, “I guess the problem is, it’s full of old people.”

  “Not you, though,” I said and winked back.

  “Is there anything we can bring you next time?” asked Ruth.

  “Oh, anything to liven the place up a bit. I’m sure you’ll think of something. We’re not dead yet, you know, but the way we get treated, sometimes you’d think we were.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Planet Deli

  The following week, I began to feel more confident about finding my way around school and finding where my classes were. I buried my head in schoolwork and tried not to think any more about friends and whether or not I was liked. I also chose to ignore the strains of Bugsy Malone that echoed in the school corridors every night as everyone in the show went into rehearsal mode. Instead, I tried to focus on what was good in my life. Ruth was beginning to open up and I found that beneath her shy appearance was a sweet and generous person. So she wasn’t like Jess and my old friends – but then, no one could ever take their place.

  Every day I checked the site to see if Hermie had sent anything interesting for my second week as a Zodiac Girl, but there was nothing there that made much sense to me. Just a list of predictions that could have been written in Greek for all the sense they made to me.

  Monday: Mercury and Pluto are in a rare state of harmony.

  Well, hurrah for them, I thought, but the day did go smoothly and Rose, Imogen and Grace asked me to be on their team in a history quiz. And Tasha moved over in assembly so that I could take my place next to her. Sara didn’t look too happy about that, though.

  Tuesday: The Moon is well aligned with Jupiter, resulting in a fruitful time.

  There was fruit salad after supper, so maybe it meant that.

  Wednesday: The Sun is linked to Uranus, so expect the unexpected.

  I slipped on a newly washed floor on the way to maths. That was unexpected. I felt a right twit.

  Thursday: Saturn and Mercury form an uneasy alignment.

  I did have a run-in with Sara when she asked me where my pet mouse was, meaning Ruth. I told her that I didn’t have a pet mouse, but I had seen a rat coming out of her room yesterday. It wasn’t a very pleasant encounter.

  Friday: Another harmonious line-up with Pluto and the Sun.

  It was an okay day. In the afternoon, Mrs Blain gave us a run through of our duties for the next visit to Chiron House and told us to think of something we could take, but that was all.

  Saturday: Jupiter is in a generous mood.

  Bully for him, I thought, as I got ready to go into the village with Ruth for our weekly outing.

  “My parents sent me some money,” she said with a shrug as we went down for the bus. “Guilt money. So let’s go and spend it!”

  “Cool,” I said. “Jupiter rocks I guess.”

  Ruth gave me one of her you’re-a-very-strange-person looks, but I could tell she was starting to like me more. She didn’t hide in her books as much anymore and sometimes even said as much as two sentences.

  “Zodiac messages,” I said by way of explanation. “Jupiter is in a generous mood, apparently. I still don’t quite know what to make of it all, though. Like, is this it? Went to a goddess workshop, got my hair done and got some fab products to keep it straight. Then Hermie said to join the Outreach programme and although it was nice meeting Mrs Hamilton, I can’t help thinking, so what? Is that all I get to achieve as a Zodiac Girl? A volunteer with nice hair who visits old people’s homes?”

  “It’s only been two weeks,” said Ruth. “Maybe the best is yet to come.”

  Or the worst, I thought. The first two weeks hadn’t exactly been smooth sailing.

  We had a lovely afternoon, though, cruising the shops and trying on clothes and make-up and Ruth insisted on paying for treats like hot chocolate and sweet pastries in a Greek deli off the high street. We chose it out of all the other cafés because it was called Europa, like our house back at school. I felt bad about Ruth forking out for everything because I didn’t have a lot of pocket money and wanted to spend what I did have on phone vouchers to call my old mates, but Ruth didn’t seem to mind.

  “What else am I going to do with the money?” she grinned as she tucked into her pastry. “Just call me Jupiter.”

  “Oh noooo,” I groaned. “Don’t tell me that you’re one of them as well.”

  “Nope,” she said, then made her eyes go cross-eyed. “Just me. Quite normal.”

  At that moment, the deli owner came over with a plate of sumptuous-looking cakes that he put in front of us.

  “On ze house,” he said with a Greek accent as he stroked his expansive belly and smiled. “Eat. Eat. I’m in a generous mood today.”

  I couldn’t resist. “Your name’s not Jupiter by any chance, is it?”

&n
bsp; He looked taken aback but he quickly recovered then laughed. “Most people call me Joe but if you want call me Jupiter, iz fine by me.”

  After he’d gone, I nudged Ruth. “Did you see the apron he was wearing?”

  Ruth nodded. “Same pattern as Hermie’s tattoo.”

  “And Dr Cronus’s tie and Nessa’s earrings,” I said.

  “And the deli is called Europa, which as we know from school is…”

  “One of the four moons of Jupiter!” I finished for her.

  Ruth looked over at the friendly deli man. “Hmm. Joe – Jupiter. I wonder if he’s one of them too? Wouldn’t mind having him as my guardian if he is. Look at all the cakes.”

  I laughed. “Yeah. Slightly more appealing than a guy with tattoos and a motorbike.”

  “Talking of which,” said Ruth. “Eyes left.”

  Hermie had just parked his bike outside. He entered the deli a moment later.

  “Hi,” he called to Joe, then turned to us. “I see you’ve met my dad then?”

  Ruth and I looked at each other and almost choked.

  “How many planets are there in astrology?” I asked Hermie as he sat at the table next to us.

  “Ten,” said Joe bringing a plate of ham-and-cheese rolls over to give to Hermie. “Sun, Moon, Venus, Mercury,” he winked at Hermie at this point, “Jupiter, Mars, Neptune, Saturn, Uranus and Pluto.”

  “And could it… is it possible… do you think that maybe those planets might be here in human form?” I asked. “Like in the old days in ancient Greece?”

  Joe stroked his chin. “Veeeery interesting question,” he said then turned to Hermie. “This is your Zodiac Girl, yes?”

  Hermie nodded.

  “Bright kid,” said Joe then went back behind the counter where he looked like he was chuckling to himself.

  “So?” I asked Hermie.

  “So what?” he replied.

  “So are you guys embodiments of the planets or not?”

  “Complicated. Not exactly that simple,” he said, then grinned, put his arm out and flexed his muscles. “Though people do say that I have a heavenly body.”

  Joe cracked up laughing behind the counter.

  “So are you going to tell me anything?” I insisted.

  Hermie shook his head. “Maybe. What would you like to hear?”

  I felt like throttling him. He never gave me a direct answer.

  “Anything.”

  “Only got one message for you today, chick,” he said. “Mercury is going to go retrograde for a week.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Mercury is the planet of communication, so when it goes retrograde there are often mix-ups with communications. Misunderstandings. Computers crashing. Technology breaking down. Messages misplaced. Thought I’d better come and tell you before it all started happening.”

  “But is it going to be a good or a bad week?”

  “Depends what you make of it,” he said as he wolfed down his sandwich, then got up to go. “Anything could happen.”

  “Hermieeeeeeee! You’re doing it again. Being vague. Not really telling me anything.”

  Hermie smiled a kilowatt smile. “You’ll be fine. Just keep fighting and never give up. Going retrograde, it’s nothing to worry about… I don’t think. As I told you before, life is what you make of it. Catch you later.”

  Somehow I didn’t feel reassured.

  Chapter Twelve

  Lady of the Beasts

  “Omigod,” I heard Mercedes say as Dad’s old van chugged its way up the drive. “Have you seen the state of that?”

  I went and stood close to her in the courtyard where a crowd of girls were waiting for their parents. I was only expecting Dad, as Mum had phoned early that morning to say she couldn’t make it. She’d come down with some flu bug and sounded dreadful.

  “I know. It’s marvellous isn’t it?” I said. “Vintage model. Very rare. Only one left in the whole world.”

  Tasha laughed but in a nice way. She was laughing with me, whereas Sara, Mercedes and Lois were always laughing at me.

  “And have you seen that thing in the front?” sneered Sara.

  I looked over at the van. Sitting in the passenger seat, with his nose out of the window, was the best sight I’d seen all week.

  “Bertie!” I cried.

  Sara rolled her eyes up to the sky. “You’d better not bring that disgusting thing anywhere near me,” she said. “I’m allergic to animal fur and he looks like he needs a bath.”

  “Bertie’s very clean,” I said. “And he’s not a thing, he’s a dog.”

  Bertie looked in my direction and yelped with delight. Dad opened the door for him and, with his tail wagging madly, he shot over to me and tried to jump up into my arms.

  “He looks a bit like you. Is he your brother?” asked Sara. “I can see the family resemblance with all that mad hair.”

  I’d had enough. There was no reason for her to be so horrible to me, and I’d done my best to be friendly to her and her mates. I’d decided that I wasn’t going to put up with it any longer. Be yourself, Dr Cronus had said. Be the fighter you naturally are, Hermie had said. I was going to be that. The fighter. I never used to let people walk all over me at my previous school, but I had lost myself for a while when I’d arrived at this one. Thanks to Ruth and Nessa and Hermie, I’d found myself again. And I’m not the victim type. I am a Zodiac Girl, the Lady of Beasts. Grrr.

  I leant on one hip and looked at her with pity. “Sara, he’s a dog. A D.O.G. Haven’t you ever seen one before, or are you stupid? Who in their right mind would actually think that he’s my brother? That’s pathetic. But maybe I shouldn’t embarrass you. It can’t be your fault that you haven’t got one brain cell in that empty head of yours. In fact, your head is so empty that if someone shone a torch in your ear, your eyes would light up.”

  Sara’s jaw dropped. She went red, and for a moment looked lost for words.

  “Get lost, er… er… pig for… er…” she managed to finally stutter.

  “Pig for what, Sara?” I asked. “For breakfast? For lunch? For brains? Come on, spit it out. What are you trying to say?”

  “Oh, never mind,” said Sara and flounced off with Lois.

  Mercedes linked arms with Tasha. “Well, you might have had your hair done,” she said. “But you still haven’t got any friends here.”

  “Yes, I have,” I said. “I have Ruth.” I was beginning to like Ruth. She wasn’t exactly the life of the party like my old mates, but she was a gentle soul and there was something about her that made me want to look after her. Like this morning, I felt really sorry for her. As her parents were abroad on a year’s contract, she wouldn’t be having any visitors. I invited her to spend the day with Dad and me but she shook her head and said she’d be in the way and nothing I could do would reassure her that she wouldn’t be. But she looked so small and sad curled up on her bed on her own.

  “Pfff,” said Sara, turning back. “That mouse.”

  “Better than being a cow like some people,” I said.

  Sara looked shocked but Tasha looked like she was going to laugh. As Mercedes pulled Tasha away, I noticed that Tasha yanked her arm out of her grasp. As she did, she turned back to me and mouthed, “Sorry.”

  Dad soon joined Bertie, and I gave him the grand tour of the school and filled him in on my first two weeks. The edited version. I’d been thinking a lot since the day before and wasn’t so sure that I wanted to leave anymore. I was feeling stronger. Better. I wanted to give it a while longer. And it wasn’t only because I’d had a makeover. It did feel fab to look better and have some admiring looks and comments, but it was still the same me, straight or frizzy hair. Milk-bottle glasses or cool ones, it was still me inside looking out of them. I didn’t want people to like me because I looked okay. I wanted people to like me because of who I am. Inside. Suddenly it didn’t seem such a big deal that I hadn’t got in with Sara and Co. I wondered why I’d been so bothered about what they thought. I didn’
t even like them, although I was beginning to think that Tasha might be okay if she wasn’t with Sara. There were other girls in the school who weren’t unkind. It might take some time to get to know them all, but I didn’t want to quit just because some mean girls had picked on me.

  After the tour, we had coffee and Danish pastries in the dining room with the other visitors. As we were eating, Dad’s mobile rang so he got up to take the call.

  “Gemma,” he said when he came back moments later, “would you mind if I left you for a couple of hours? I can pop back later to have tea with you. It’s just that there’s been an emergency and I’m the nearest. A car’s broken down on the motorway and they need road rescue. It’s only fifteen minutes from here, so I could pop out, sort them out then be back.”

  “I could come with you,” I said. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with him, but he wasn’t listening. He was scanning the room for someone.

  “Hey, where’s Bertie?” he asked.

  “Maybe asleep under a table somewhere. You know what he’s like.”

  We searched all the spots where he could possibly have hidden, but he was nowhere to be found.

  “Oh dear,” said Dad as he looked at his watch. “I have to get going soon. I can’t leave people stranded by the roadside. I hope Bertie’s not got into any mischief. Where is he?”

  We decided to split up to search for him and I offered to do the gardens. It had started raining outside so I went upstairs to get a jacket. When I opened the bedroom door, Ruth glanced up and beamed at me. There, sitting in her lap, was Bertie, and he and Ruth looked like the oldest of old pals.

  “He’s gorgeous,” she said as Bertie gave her face a lick. “I knew it was him from your picture.”

  “But where…? How did he get up here?”

  “I went down to get a drink at tea time and to avoid seeing everyone, I went through the drama department. I thought I heard Sara and her mates coming so I hid in the props department until they’d gone past and there he was asleep on top of a pile of costumes. I brought him up here and… I think he likes me.”

  “He almost gave my dad a heart attack,” I laughed. “Dad had visions of him in the kitchen nicking tonight’s dinner. I had visions of him chasing Boris!”