The Goblin Queen and the Sigil of Altazan (The League of Sinister Means Book 2)

by H. K. MacTavish

  The Goblin Queen

  And the Sigil of Altazan

  By H.K. MacTavish

  Copyright 2016

  Contents

  Smash Some Heads

  Enter the Heroes

  Breaking the Gates

  Bathing Beauties

  Roasted Over a Fire

  Missing Ingredients

  Splitting the Party

  The Priest and the Queen

  An Interrupted Meal

  Hit Them Where It Counts

  Seal the Passageway

  Egress

  Passages and Trails

  Pools and Vision

  Deep Waters

  Glimpsing Forward and Back

  Lost to the Ages

  The Hunt is On

  Water and Bones

  Shadows and Ruins

  Reunions

  Ghosts of the Past

  Solace and Sight

  Greed and Doom

  Safe Haven in the Lost City

  A Final Glimpse

  Confrontations

  The Deep Deep

  Smash Some Heads

  The Sigil of Altazan

  This sigil will grant you the power to summon mundane items (enchantment free items! It is important to note that so no one casts this under any false pretenses). Unlike some of the other sigils in this tome, the Sigil of Altazan requires very little from the caster. No pesky souls, no overbearing contracts, and no demonic presences that have to be contained or locked away. That doesn’t mean this is a simple sigil to cast. The caster should be prepared to gather rare ingredients if they wish to summon a meal. So while you may one day enjoy a free lunch curtesy of the Sigil of Altazan, know that you already paid a price for that lunch. While there is no sacrifice required of you, that doesn’t mean that no sacrifice is required.

  Step one: Gather your ingredients. Below is a list…

  “Highness,” a goblin croaked.

  Goblins look rather silly once you’ve spent a lot of time with them. Their overly large noses and big yellow eyes with floppy green ears like a basset hound. They stand about three to three and a half feet tall with knobby knees and elbows and thin small frames overall. Some can gain a bit of strength, but most don’t.

  And they are usually annoying!

  “Silence!” I tell him. I’m reading! Where was I? Ah!

  Below is a list of ingredients that you will need in order to cast this spell. Make certain that you acquire all of these components before you do anything! Also, the man and woman should probably be acquired last unless you’re prepared to keep them alive…

  “Highness,” the same goblin croaked.

  “Be silent!”

  Below is a list of ingredients…oh I read that part already. Let me skim down a couple lines…keep them alive…

  “Highness,” the goblin croaked.

  “Didn’t I say that when I’m reading, I don’t wish to be disturbed?” I ask.

  “Yes.”

  “Then why are you disturbing me?”

  “You said to tell you when packages arrived.”

  I did say that.

  “Very well. Bring it in,” I say.

  “Bring it in!” the goblin yells. He turns to me all proud that he can yell. I wonder what I got. It better not be another message from some hero or King Randolf. That bloated king thinks that sending me letters threatening me will force me to leave. You will be routed villain! No, I won’t! I swear one of these days…oh my god, what is that stench? It smells like rotting flesh!

  Oh. It must be something from my sister. Why did she have to be a necromancer? She could at least send one of her skeletons out to deliver messages.

  ‘I keep the fleshy zombies away because they smell,’ she is fond of saying. Yes, they do! So stop sending them to me!

  Surrounded by dead bodies all the time! How did she ever get used to that. The source of people’s nightmares is her daily life. The first time I visited her I nearly peed myself waking up. I’ll never speak a word of it! Me, a grown woman, clutching myself because I am sure I just humiliated myself. Why? Oh, because a walking skeleton with glowing red eyes shook me awake with another skeleton dressed as a maid in some tattered blue dress. I screamed and Lorelei thought that was just hilarious! There was nothing funny about it!

  Look at me talking about my sister’s choices. Goblins bring their own special stench with them. And their own mannerisms as well that I…

  “Stop picking your nose,” I say.

  “Yes highness,” the goblin says as he starts to put his finger in his mouth.

  “And don’t…”

  He ate it.

  “Highness?”

  “Nevermind.”

  Yes, goblins aren’t perfect but at least they are living. There is just something, off putting, being surrounded by undead.

  I can smell that zombie already and it isn’t even in the room. It will take a good cleaning to get this stench out.

  The reek that flows through these halls some days, I swear some of the goblins died and they aren’t cleaning up after themselves. I’ve told them, if you see a dead goblin dispose of it. All of it. Wipe the blood, clean up any maggots or bugs. It’s like I’m talking to a wall with them sometimes.

  Yup, in walks a zombie. Okay, so ‘walks’ is probably not entirely accurate. Shambles is a better choice. Why use zombies as your messengers, I ask my dear sister. Because they aren’t really suited for much else, she says. Zombies are failed raisings, you see. I probably should have mentioned that. No one ever raises a zombie because they want a zombie. They are slow and they still think they want to eat even though they are, you know, dead. Only fool necromancers try and summon a horde of zombies like those stories like telling. The reality is they usually end up eaten by their new horde that then wanders around unsupervised. Zombies are easily the weakest undead that a necromancer could summon.

  I mean, I can see Lorelei’s point of view. They smell really bad, they aren’t great fighters, and they tend to fall apart easily. Taking an item from one place to another is one of the few things zombies can manage.

  But look at it from my point of view! They smell. I mean, really, really bad. Raising them doesn’t exactly stop the decomposing process; it just slows it so they are always rotting. Isn’t that just a wonderful image? And I always find bits of them, small bits, wherever they’ve been. Can you imagine what it’s like finding bits of rotting flesh everywhere? It’s like playing a game of where is that stench? What does he have? A box?

  She remembered!

  “Set it down on the altar,” I say. I’m excited and I can’t help it. I love hearing from my sister, especially today. And she timed it so well. Or the zombie has been lurking around outside my front door waiting for the right day. Probably the latter.

  The zombie just groans and shambles off to towards the altar.

  “Yeah! Move it to the altar!” the goblin commands.

  “I already told him that,” I sigh.

  “Yes highness,” the goblin says.

  I should have been an orc queen or an ogre queen. Although I guess ogres aren’t any smarter than goblins, are they? And they don’t breed as fast. That is something goblins have going for them. They may be dumb, and weak, and crude, and dumb, too curious for their own good, to scared of everything, and dumb, but they come in large numbers. If you know what you’re doing and let them breed, very large numbers! Mistakes are usually quickly rectified with a goblin army. If one approach doesn’t work just wait a few months and you have your army back
. Feeding them though, that can be a challenge if they aren’t finding enough to eat on their own.

  Well, the zombie finally manages to reach the altar and deposit the box on top of it. I walk up and…ugh! That isn’t all that he deposited. There’s a bit of flesh there on the corner of my altar! I knew this would happen! I knew it! Well, let’s see what my sister got me.

  I open up the box and find a letter and something wrapped up in some cloth. Let’s read the letter first. It’s only proper.

  Dear Vivian,

  Happy Birthday! I won’t label what year you’ve made it to as I am only a few years older and I don’t want to feel older than I already am! I don’t look any older, of course, and that is the most important thing, but your age is a label that can be used to make you feel old. And I don’t want to feel old so I won’t make you feel old.

  I hope the goblins aren’t giving you any problems. Today I had the most awful experience! I couldn’t get this shade of eye shadow right. I tried something different and it just came out hideous! It was this awful plum and I don’t know what I was thinking. I’ll tell you what I was thinking. As you know I love violet but I thought, maybe I should try something else. Something light like a lilac, but it was so light and subtle and I wasn’t in a subtle mood so I tried something darker, a wine or a mulberry and it just didn’t look good at all so I settled for a plum because I had already spent over an hour on my eyeshadow alone! So I walked around all day with plum eyeshadow. It was not the best shade, let me tell you. I think I’ll try a magenta or an orchid. Maybe dark orchid. I’ll experiment. I’m feeling brave. You know I’m not one for experimenting on my face, but it isn’t easy being the most beautiful woman in the all the lands. And that reminds me! My lipstick was just…

  How long does she go on about her makeup? End of that page, over to the next page, and we’re onto blush and on to the next page, and the next. Ah, here we go. Wait. No. She’s going on about her nail polish now. And continuing about her polish and…here we go.

  …I’m glad you weren’t around to see me in such dire straits! But you need to live a little in your little kingdom. You’re far too up tight. You’re a beautiful woman! Just because you’re not as beautiful as I am doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show yourself off. And I thought to myself, that is just what you need. You’ve always been a sourpuss but you’re my sister so I know there is a bit of me in you. You were born with more than adequate curves Vivian. Take an example from your big sister. I am simply gorgeous all the time! It takes some effort but you’ll find it is worth it. Oh, you will be so happy showing off how beautiful you can be. You shouldn’t feel depressed just because you can’t look as good as me. No one can do that and you shouldn’t feel the need to undertake such a Sisyphean feat. You are easily more ravishing than just about everyone else, if I do say so. You should have fun with your wardrobe. Just a little…

  Oh god, what did she get me?

  …bit of adventure here and there. Especially on your birthday. Have fun! Anyway, I know you have things to take care of. We should get together sometime. I’d love to see you and I’d love for you to see me! Write back when you can!

  Lots of Love,

  Lorelei

  Well, that was nice of her. I do want to see her again. It’s been a while. Maybe I should visit her. I would have to clean this place up if I have her over. Goblins are terrible at cleaning.

  Now, let’s see what is in here. I’m almost afraid to look. Hmm. A garment of some kind. Let’s see. I’ll hold it out in front of me to get a good look at it. Oh, is it nice. It looks lovely! I love the fabric. What is this? It is soft like silk but it has a bit more weight to it. Oh! It’s missing the top part. It must still be inside...the…box…nope. There isn’t anything else in there. Let me look at it again.

  Hmm. I guess it’s not missing anything. Wow. I won’t just be showing cleavage in this. My breasts will practically be on full display. I know Lorelei means well, but I like the robes and gowns that I wear. Take the dress I’m wearing now; black cloth of this soft fabric with loose fitting sleeves, quite wide at the end and narrowing up to the shoulders, like a robe with a somewhat tight bodice. The dress comes down to the tips of my shoes and the top covers me to just under my chin. I then have a choker over that, but it isn’t immediately obvious that it is a choker, with a beautiful clasp over my throat. This one is a purple gem, a large amethyst. It is gorgeous…and I am going over my clothes like my sister. I should stop that. I hate the way she looks when she preens and sounds when she talks about herself. I’ve tried to be a different woman because there are more important things than fashion.

  Still. I can’t just toss this dress my sister gave me away. I’ll have to wear it when I see Lorelei again. She’ll be so happy to see me in it. I should try it on before then, just to make sure it fits. I’m sure it does. Everything she sends me always fits perfectly. It just, well, it doesn’t cover everything up all the time. I’ll just...oh no! Look at this! It is split along the sides! Wait. Wait. No. This is a sewn seam. It is supposed to be like this? How far up my leg will this show off? Is this a dress or just a stretch of fabric pretending to be a dress? No matter. I have to wear it. I’ll just place her gift off to the side for now.

  I turn to the zombie, who is still standing there, decomposing. I haven’t given him any orders to move on. I should do that now so I can discover what stale air smells like again.

  “Tell Lorelei that I loved the dress and I will write her soon to plan a get together.”

  The zombie groans and starts to walk off. If only the goblins responded as well.

  Well, that is taken care of for now. Let’s see. Where was I? Oh right! I was re-reading from Alabar’s Tome of Sigils. I want to make sure that I have everything ready. Let me go over the ingredients.

  1 ounce of unprocessed adamantium ore

  1 ounce of unprocessed iron ore

  1 pixie, ground up

  1 teaspoon of pixie dust

  Enough blood of a sentient to draw the sigil with (1 quart should do)

  I look to the ground where I already drew the sigil with the blood of a goblin. I’m good on that.

  2….

  “Highness.”

  Oh what now?

  “Yes?”

  “Highness…”

  “Yes! What is it?”

  “Um. Well…remember the prisoners?”

  “Of course I remember the prisoners. It took me a while to track them down and orchestrate their capture. What about them?”

  “There…there was an accident,” the goblin says.

  Accident? Now? No. No! I am going to cast this spell in about twelve hours. I need them!

  “What happened?” I roar.

  “Well, you see, did you know that humans are squishy?”

  As a human, I know how squishy humans are.

  “So are goblins!” I say, picking up the goblin telekinetically by the neck. “Speak!”

  “One…one of them…he…”

  They killed one of them! They killed one! I know it! I just...I just know it!

  I yell and break his neck, throwing the body to the ground.

  “You!” I yell pointing to another goblin.

  “Me?” he asks nervously.

  “You! What happened?”

  “Better to show you,” he say and scampers off.

  “Get back here!” I yell. I race to the doorway when he returns suddenly. There are some goblins out of sight in the hall. I can hear them whimpering.

  “This happened,” he says. Five goblins, as if on cue, carry the body of the young man that I had prisoner. I say body because the head is missing.

  “Where is his head?” I ask.

  “Bring it!” the goblin orders.

  Bring it? Another goblin comes in, carrying a jar.

  I just look at the jar. I look inside and...ugh.

  “The head is inside…”

  “I know the head is inside! I can see the head. I needed him alive!”

  Th
is is a disaster! This was supposed to be my birthday present to myself! What to do, what to do…wait! Let me check the spell. I run back to the altar and look down on the spell for the Sigil of Altazan. Let’s see…draw the sigil…prepare the ingredients…come on…where are the notes on…ah! Here! The two humans cannot be dead for more than one hour before use.

  But I have to wait until the midnight hour to cast the spell! Damn it! I throw a cup against the wall. It shatters. It doesn’t make me any happier.

  “Highness is displeased?”

  “Yes, highness is displeased! I need another component now!”

  “We would be happy to take a lottery…”

  “If I could have used a goblin I wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of taking these two, would I?”

  “Well, that does make sense,” the goblin says.

  “Is the woman still there?”

  “Of course,” the goblin says proudly.

  Doing half your job isn’t something to take pride in. I better check up on her. If I keep her alive I only need to find a replacement for him.

  I walk out of the old temple and down the hall of my lair.

  This is a good lair. I’m not sure what it was originally used for; probably some military outpost. It is nestled in the foothills of the Alpurian Mountains. Nice and remote. Parts of the architecture look centuries old but there have been others that have lived here before me that have done some rebuilding. I’m not sure who tunneled into the caverns underground but that must have been the end of at least one of the prior inhabitants. I found a lot of bones near that entrance when I first moved in. I also don’t know quite how far the tunnels go. The goblins aren’t complaining and I have them do regular patrols, just in case there is something lurking down there. And there always is; my goblins periodically report back about killing some beast, which they usually eat right away so getting an adequate description is usually out of the question.

  The room I’m casting the spell in is large with an arched ceiling. Judging by the altar I’m sure it was a temple at some point in this lair’s life. To which god or goddess it is dedicated, I have no idea. There are some clues here and there but I don’t have the knowledge and, to be honest, don’t really care enough. Not that I’m casting the spell there to be sacrilegious or anything; large altars work extremely well as a table. It’s too high for curious goblins to tamper with and too heavy for them to accidentally knock over. And the large open area works in case there are any complications. For the Sigil of Altazan there shouldn’t be, but it is always prudent to be careful.