The Goblin Queen and the Sigil of Altazan (The League of Sinister Means Book 2)

by H. K. MacTavish

  The goblins start to remove his armor a bit slower, piling it up nearby.

  Wait. What is that dangling around his neck? Oh, the sigil of the deity that he worships. I extend my arm and reach out with my fingers, ripping it from around his neck with my magic. The holy focus flies to my hand.

  “Hey!” Gerald yells as the goblins continue to swarm over him, trying to get him out of his armor. I look over the symbol he had around his neck and I don’t recognize which deity it is. I really never paid much attention to which god or goddess that exists out there in the world. It looks like a flame, maybe?

  “Whatever you’re planning you won’t get away with,” Gerald says.

  “Oh, well, right now I just want to see what you’ve brought with you. All that armor…it’s like a birthday present from the gods,” I say gleefully. Maybe a little too gleefully.

  “I think you’ll be disappointed,” Gerald says.

  “Well now, normally that is what the woman that is supposed to say,” I say. I know I’ve said it to a few men wishing to bed me.

  “I wouldn’t know about that,” Gerald says.

  “Well, as a priest, I wouldn’t actually expect you to,” I say.

  “I am a priest of Shara,” Gerald says.

  “And?”

  “Shara preaches about embracing the joys of life,” Gerald says.

  “Like, drinking, games…”

  “Making love,” Gerald says.

  “So, you can make love, can you? Or are you just shy around girls?” I ask walking up to him. He is going to be fun to corrupt.

  “I am not shy around girls,” Gerald says.

  “Don’t tell me that. I’ve been watching you. That Cassandra, her enormous melons thrust into your face, and you didn’t even steal a glace?”

  Gerald doesn’t answer. I’ve hit him close to some nerve. Oh! Maybe he’s been having some illicit affair with that street walker turned wizard and the others don’t know! How scandalous!

  The goblins have his tunic off, in tatters, his belt is off, his backpack is in the corner, his metal skirt is being untied…the goblins are too slow. I did tell them to be careful. Better to be slow than to hurt Gerald in some way that I can’t fix. The goblins have done enough damage to my plans today.

  I’m unable to keep my eyes off Gerald. What do you look like underneath all that gear?

  “You heroes don’t get to enjoy all the joys of life. Always running off to one dungeon or a keep or a kingdom to save people who don’t deserve saving,” I say.

  “Everyone deserves saving,” Gerald says.

  “Do they?”

  “They do,” Gerald says.

  “So you try to save everyone you come across, do you? Does the wizard and the warrior you traipse around with let you? With the survivors I mean.”

  “Not everyone gives me an opportunity to save them,” Gerald says.

  “That’s a shame,” I say. “What would you do to try to save someone?”

  “Anything,” Gerald says.

  “Anything can mean a lot,” I say.

  “And I meant what I said.”

  “You have come here, to risk your life, to save a pair of peasants?”

  “Yes,” Gerald says defiantly.

  “Not anyone important, just peasants.”

  “Everyone is equally important to me,” Gerald says.

  “But, they’re peasants! They will birth more peasants. All they do is toil in the earth and if they are lucky they won’t die to a bandit raid, starvation, or disease. There are many peasants here in this world. They are meat for the strong. That is their purpose in life.”

  “They may be nothing more than meat to you but they are people to me.”

  “No they’re not,” I say.

  “How do you think that?” Gerald asks.

  “You wouldn’t be a hero without them. Without peasants, what do you have to protect? They don’t do anything but fulfill your desires to play they hero.”

  “I don’t play the hero,” Gerald says.

  “Of course you do. You say Shara loves the joys of life? Does that include victory celebrations?” I ask.

  “Of course. A well earned feast celebrating our victory over a villain such as you is a joy in life.”

  “At the expense of peasants,” I say.

  His armor is off…but what is all that padding? Is there even a man under all this? I’ve never had a gift so wrapped up.

  “If people like you wouldn’t terrorize the peasants of this world I’d…”

  “You’d what?” I say interrupting him. “What would you do? No one would know you. Gerald? Katie? Leo? Cassandra? Just the names of nobodies! You are here for loot and notoriety. The peasants are just a means to an end.”

  “Not to me,” Gerald says.

  “And not to your sister?” I ask.

  “She is here for the peasants as much as I am.”

  “Which is why she insists on spending so much time looking around for every coin or scrap of wealth, right? If there were no villains in this world, like me, there would be people like Katie.”

  “You’re wrong,” Gerald says.

  “Am I? She is a rogue, a thief. You turn a blind eye because she is your sister, but without someone like me, what would she do? She is only good at one thing, breaking into a place and stealing things. If not a villain’s lair, perhaps a noble’s lair?”

  “No. Katie knows right from wrong,” Gerald says.

  “Which is why she learned to pick locks, sneak around, and stab people in the back; all good people are trained in those skills,” I say.

  “Stop it!”

  I’m making some headway on him! He can’t argue with me that his sister is secretly a villain playing the hero.

  “Just admit it. To me.”

  “No.”

  “It’s just you and me. You must have suspected all this time that Katie isn’t really a hero. Her skills aren’t noble. You must have defeated villains who were just like Katie. Oh, no. They didn’t have a priest to protect them! Now that you are with me, how far will Katie fall?”

  “No. I know what you’re doing. And I won’t fall for it!”

  “Fall for what? I’m not trying to trick you. I’m just pointing out something that you know but don’t want to admit.”

  His padding is finally ripped off and he is left there in some boots and some underwear covering whatever meat he has between his legs. He is...gorgeous! Happy birthday to me!

  The goblins try to remove his underpants and his boots but I hold up my hands.

  “Leave him like that. Bind his hands,” I say.

  “Yes highness.”

  Goblins are good at tying people up. I don’t have to worry about Gerald getting his hands free.

  “I will not fall for you trying to say my sister is a villain.”

  “You’re right,” I say. “She’s a thief.”

  “She…she is a rogue.”

  “What’s the difference?” I ask.

  “She works against villains like you.”

  “And if I weren’t here?”

  “She would have found something else in life to pursue. Even if she wasn’t good at it. My sister wouldn’t backstab people or rob from innocent citizens.”

  “So you are perfectly okay with the act of stealing. So long as you are stealing from people that deserve it.”

  “Stealing from a villain that kidnaps peasants isn’t something that people would consider a crime.”

  “We’re not talking about people. We’re talking about you. Stealing isn’t a crime. Stealing from certain people…that is a crime,” I say.

  “You are twisting my words!”

  “Am I? What is stealing but taking that which doesn’t belong to you.”

  “I’m not getting into this debate with you.”

  “You take things from me, like those paintings. Did they belong to you?”

  “Did they belong to you?”

  “You saw them hanging up, did you not? Aren
’t you heroes?”

  “We are heroes and nothing you say will change that,” Gerald says.

  “No. You’re not heroes. You’re mercenaries.”

  “We are not mercenaries,” Gerald says. “Mercenaries are only in it for the money!”

  “Did you make a deal with whatever those people call a mayor to keep anything you find?”

  “It may have been brought up,” Gerald says after a pause.

  “How heroic,” I say.

  “That deal doesn’t change anything. We would still be here!”

  “Sure you would have,” I say, with false sympathy. “Face the truth Gerald. You and I, we aren’t that different.”

  “We are nothing alike,” Gerald says.

  “We both crave notoriety, we both desire wealth. Fame. Fortune. The joys of life,” I say getting closer to him. “Like your goddess wishes for you.”

  “You don’t crave fame. You crave infamy!”

  “The other side of the coin, but the same coin,” I say. “People will utter my name and people will utter your name. And we both want that.”

  “I’m not here for the fame. I desire to aid people,” Gerald says. “That is why I am here.”

  “And aid yourself. Don’t look at me like that. I’m honest about it. You heroes are the ones lying about such things. You love people looking up to you as a hero. You love listening to stories being told of your deeds. And all the wealth you would find in a place like this? Why, it makes your life easier, doesn’t it?”

  “You are confusing what I do and what you do. You kidnapped two people from their homes,” Gerald says.

  “I did take them,” I say. “I wanted them so I took them. You don’t think that is how your precious peasants act? That mayor? What did he do to get that position?”

  “Appointed by the local lord…”

  “And how did that man get to be the local lord?”

  “His father was the lord before him…”

  “And who gave him that?”

  “You want to say that at some point his ancestor was a bastard like you? A villain like you? Have you considered that he led people to reclaim the land from orcs or goblins?”

  “So he took what he wanted?” I ask.

  “I’m not going to have this conversation,” Gerald says.

  “It’s too late. You’re having this conversation,” I say. “You know what the truth is. That those peasants, if they were strong enough, would take what they wanted.”

  “Or they would be heroes trying to stop villains from taking what wasn’t theirs,” Gerald says.

  “And how is that working out for you?” I ask. Gerald is now bound, mostly naked and...wow. He isn’t as strong as Leo by far but he is in good shape. I wonder what is between his legs. No. I want him to show me. I want him to say yes. Then, he will be fully mine.

  “What are you going to do with me?” Gerald asks.

  “Well, first, I’m going to leave you tied up,” I say walking back to the cauldron.

  “What is that on the floor?” Gerald asks.

  “None of your concern,” I say turning around to see him trying to peer around a goblin to look on the Sigil of Altazan that I have prepared.

  “Is that why you needed the peasants?” Gerald asks.

  “It is,” I say.

  If I open up to him maybe I can get him to open up to me, say something that will allow me to corrupt him easier.

  “What sigil is it? The Sigil of Altazan?”

  I pause. He knows about that?

  “What do you know about it?” I ask as I spin around.

  “I don’t know how to cast it but I know what it does,” Gerald says. “And it won’t do what you think it does. You’ve wasted your time.”

  “You don’t know what I want it for,” I say.

  “It’s obvious what you want it for. And…if it did that…everyone would have cast it.”

  “It has some rare ingredients,” I say. “That is why it is difficult to cast.”

  “Waiting for the right time to cast it, are you?” Gerald asks, looking around. “Otherwise you would have cast it by now. You’ve had the peasants for a while now.”

  “My lair has an infestation of ego and bad taste so I have some cleaning to do. If you would just leave and come back…”

  “No,” Gerald says.

  “Still pretending that you are the hero?” I ask.

  “I’m not pretending,” Gerald says.

  “Oh, come now. I can make your life so fulfilled,” I say sauntering up to him.

  “My life is fulfilled,” Gerald says.

  I should get right up to him. A light touch, let him know what I want and that I’m not afraid of him.

  “Is it? You worship, Shara was it? A goddess of joy? And what joys do you get to experience? I can give you joys. The joys you’ve been looking for.”

  “I am not interested in your joys.”

  I place my hand over his sweaty chest and he recoils a bit.

  “I won’t hurt you. Much.”

  “I will not be tempted by you!” he says boldly.

  “Oh please. Are you that repulsed by a woman in her thirties?”

  “I have no desire to be with you!” Gerald says with vigor and anger. “And I will not betray my sister or my friends for a little romp!”

  “All that anger! All that rage! What if I let your sister go?” I ask.

  “Never!”

  “You’d let your sister suffer? Am I that horrid? You said your goddess lets you enjoy the joys of life. Sex is a joy.”

  “I will never have sex with you!”

  “Have you ever made love with a beautiful woman before?”

  “No. And I won’t start today!”

  “Don’t be like that. It’s not so bad. Just say the word and I can show you such pleasures as you’ve never dreamed of,” I say.

  Turn away from your friends Gerald. Embrace what your goddess wants for you. Turn to the dark side of life!

  “Never,” Gerald says.

  “It’ll be fun. I promise!”

  “I won’t get any joy out of sleeping with you!”

  “How can you know if you’ve never had sex,” I say.

  “What makes you think that I’ve never had sex?”

  I pause.

  “You said you’ve never had sex with a woman.”

  “I haven’t,” Gerald says.

  “So?”

  “So?” Gerald returns.

  “How can you have sex without having sex with a woman?”

  “Because I’m gay,” Gerald says.

  What?

  “What?” I ask standing up.

  “I’m sorry. I mean I find men attractive and have sexual relations with other men…”

  “Yes, yes, I know what gay means. But…how gay are you?” I ask.

  “What do you mean how gay am I?” Gerald asks.

  Oh, don’t get all offended by an honest question.

  “It’s a fair question…”

  “I’m gay gay,” Gerald says.

  Shit.

  “So…”

  “I would never sleep with you,” Gerald says.

  Fuck!

  “What about Leo?” I ask.

  “What about Leo?” Gerald repeats.

  “Do you have sex with him?”

  I’m just curious at this point.

  “No.”

  Why not?

  “But he’s…well…strapping…”

  “And not gay,” Gerald says.

  “And how do you know?”

  “Because of the way he looks at other women. Please, it’s not that hard to tell a man is straight after being on so many quests and adventures with him.”

  “So, you aren’t a virgin then?” I ask.

  “I haven’t been for some time,” Gerald says.

  Fucking nine hells!

  “Why does that upset you?” Gerald asks.

  “It doesn’t upset me,” I say, pretending to not be upset. But I am.
r />   “I can tell,” Gerald says.

  “I’m just…disappointed,” I say, lying. Kind of.

  “Well, continue with the disappointment. Leo, Cassandra, Katie…once they get here you will be dead or imprisoned and either way all these joys you take from others and all the joys you enjoy will be forbidden and ripped from you. We will be like the world’s largest chastity belt,” Gerald says.

  “Your friends don’t concern me,” I say.

  “They should. You may have captured me but there are still three heroes coming after you. And I saw the path the goblins carried me down. There are some twists and turns but the others will be here soon.”

  “You have no idea what I have planned for them,” I say.

  Which he shouldn’t since most of my plans have blown away like dust in storm so far.

  “And your attempts to turn me from my sister, my friends, using Shara against me…I will never be like you, taking what I want. I will die as a hero if I have to but I will always be a hero. No promises of pleasure or wealth or threats against my sister will get me to change.”

  “We’ll see about that!” I say spinning around.

  I need to see what the other three are up to!

  Fuck!

  An Interrupted Meal

  Before I look in on the heroes I should change the barrier spell around that door. Let me see. Which book has a good spell? Doesn’t Mabh and Vashti’s book have one? They have protection spells for everything else. I’ll have to make sure I use the right spell. Let’s see…ah. Privacy. That sounds like what I need.

  One of the many challenges in living in a lair with someone else is privacy. Simple locks won’t work if you live with a rogue or a wizard so if you really want to protect your most private possessions you will need a Shell. Shells are different from barriers. Shells actually repel magical energies so simple attempts to break through don’t work at all. They are also more resistant to physical damage. Don’t shells sound great?

  And they are, but there is a downside to shells. They don’t last as long as barriers. This is why barriers are cast much more frequently and are in a much wider use. I can cast a barrier and it will protect my lair for a century, maybe two. Barriers replenish their energies constantly. Shells don’t. Shells also can’t cover a wide area. A doorway at most, or a chest or dresser is all you’ll get out of it and you’ll have to recast it once a day. Terrible for long term protection but great if someone keeps trying to get into your dresser despite the fact that they have their own dresser and you know that they’ve been taking things from that dresser claiming that they haven’t. But then where did my necklace that lets me see in the dark go? I don’t know she says. The hell she doesn’t know! And when you take stuff from theirs they get all uppity like you’ve invaded their domain!