The Goblin Queen and the Sigil of Altazan (The League of Sinister Means Book 2)

by H. K. MacTavish

  Cassandra is dug out and once I release her she stands. And look at that, I’m treated to full frontal of a woman. Leo is brought beside her, just as nude, and I’m happier. There was some shrinkage I think but nothing that won’t be fixed in time. Ohh…this pain. Wait, I have a healer now.

  “You can heal me now.”

  “Of course,” Gerald says as he walks over to me. He reaches out and touches my cheek and my pain goes away. Ah. That is much better. And no scar on my hand. I love magic.

  “Don’t hurt them. Bring them both up here. I want the three of them chained together,” I order my goblins.

  “Three?” Gerald asks.

  “I am going to hold you separately from them,” I say. “Oh, and bind their arms to their sides. I don’t want them to think about trying anything.”

  “Yes highness.”

  “You trust me that much?” Gerald asks.

  “No. But if the other three try and escape I will kill you. And if you try and escape, I will kill them. That way, I can trust you completely,” I say.

  What was that flash of white light?

  “Hold!” I say to the goblins bringing Leo and Cassandra to me. Them? Them? These two? The two topless dancers playing hero? No way. No fucking way.

  “What is wrong highness?” a goblin asks.

  “I…bring them backwards a little bit. Little bit more. Just a bit…there!”

  By the gods! I’m giddy! I’m like a little girl again! Stupendous! Marvelous!

  “You two…you’ve never…” Gerald asks.

  He is stunned.

  “What?” Katie asks. “What’s wrong?”

  “Leo and Cassandra…” Gerald says.

  “What about them? What’s happening?” Katie is trying to turn her head but she can’t see.

  “My spell! I can cast it!”

  “What?” Cassandra asks.

  “You won’t kill them,” Gerald says.

  “It would be like kicking a puppy at this point. There is, obviously, so much they have to experience. Oh, keep those two separated for now. I want nothing of him to touch anything of hers.”

  “What?” Cassandra asks. “What’s going on?”

  My goblins move her and Leo apart from each other. That’s right. A bit more. That cock of Leo’s has quite the reach.

  “You’ve never…you’re not…” Gerald tries to get out.

  “What? I can’t see! Gerald! What’s happening?” Katie calls out.

  “You’re both virgins! You two!” I say with a laugh. “You two have never had sex. Well, not outside yourselves. I’m sure you’ve done that at some point. How can you both have never had sex? You both walk around like harlots! And you’ve never…” I can’t continue. Oh, this is sidesplitting hilarity! And they both know now that their friends know their secret! The humiliation on their faces. Oh, it is priceless. Look! Look how red their faces are! By the gods...I lean against the judge’s bench for support while I just laugh.

  “It isn’t that funny!” Cassandra says.

  “It kind of is,” Gerald says.

  “Wait…” Katie says trying to turn around. “You both said you’d had sex. Remember when we talked about our first times…”

  “They were lying,” Gerald says.

  Obviously.

  “It was just an embellishment,” Leo says.

  “You either did, or you didn’t,” Gerald says.

  “I don’t know why this is so important,” Cassandra says. “Fine! So I’m a virgin! And so is Leo! Fine! So I lied about having sex! Fine! So what? Stop laughing!”

  “Why is this so important anyway?” Leo asks.

  “Virgin blood is all she needed to finish casting her spell,” Gerald says.

  “Our blood?” Leo asks.

  “Just a little bit,” I say, measuring a bit with my thumb and finger. “Just a bit.”

  “You’re not going to kill them?” Katie asks.

  “Kill? No. Why does everyone think that just because I need virgins that I need to sacrifice them? I just need a bit of blood. That’s all.”

  I release Katie so she can be shackled.

  “Then what is to become of us since one of us decided to just watch?” Katie says looking at Gerald.

  “We’re to be ransomed,” Gerald says, looking a little downcast. Poor Gerald. I bet he will jump at the chance to be separated from Katie for just a little bit longer.

  “So, you’ve pre-arranged all of this?” Katie asks.

  “I did it to spare you,” Gerald says.

  “Spare us? You could have helped us!” Katie says.

  “I gave my word. I would not hinder the Goblin Queen if she agreed not to kill you in combat,” Gerald says with vigor. He clearly sees his position as one of sacrifice to save the others.

  “She is a villain! You made a deal with a demon!” Katie yells.

  And Katie sees his role as a betrayal! Oh, I’ve split them! Maybe for good! Tabitha was right. There are better ways to deal with heroes other than bloodshed!

  “It is all right,” Leo says. “Let us get this over with.”

  “Yes,” Cassandra says. “We live to fight another day.”

  “I’m not sure you’ve ever, truly, lived,” I say, smiling wickedly.

  “We are going to talk about this,” Katie says to her brother.

  “I hope you come to see that what I’ve done was to save you,” Gerald says.

  “I doubt that,” Katie says.

  I am all smiles as I step towards my goblins.

  “Okay, take me to your new warrens. I want to see what you’ve done with the place while ensuring that these prisoners are to be treated exactly as I specify. Oh, and I’m going to cast the Sigil of Altazan. Which you won’t see the benefits of if anything happens to these prisoners that I don’t wish. Understand?”

  “Yes highness,” a red sashed goblin says.

  “You never said why you want to cast that spell,” Gerald says. “You can’t get rich…”

  “Yes, yes. I can’t summon gold, or jewels, or anything expensive,” I say.

  We all walk out of that dwarven courthouse one by one.

  “What does this spell do?” Leo asks as leave that old court building.

  “It allows me to summon certain items, at will. No casting.”

  “That is useful. But no wealth. So nothing golden,” Gerald says.

  Katie is sulking. If she isn’t giving me the evil eye she is giving it to Gerald.

  “I know,” I say.

  “It just seems like a lot of work for very little payoff,” Gerald says.

  “Altazan, who created the other end of the pact, created it as a kind of discount pact. There is a list of prohibitions, such as the value of items that can be summoned. Nothing expensive. Except clothes. I can summon fine clothes. Altazan is apparently a fashionista.”

  “So, just ordinary things?” Gerald asks.

  “Yes. Like weapons…” I say.

  “Oh. Ohhh…” Gerald says.

  “Now you get it,” I say.

  “Your deal has just made the Goblin Queen more powerful,” Cassandra says.

  “I hope you’re happy,” Katie says.

  Poor Gerald. Why do I feel guilty? They aren’t angry at me. Well, they are, but for different reasons. What is this…sympathy? Well, he has helped me, and I could use it as a way to keep him as a friend. No, an ally. Yes. I meant ally. I want to keep him as an ally.

  “If Gerald wasn’t co-operative I would have just killed him and then killed you. Then I would have grabbed two more peasant virgins and cast my spell then. I would have cast it eventually. You have to see that. You think I would have allowed Gerald to stand there, alive, if I thought he was going to aid you?”

  “You enjoyed him watching the fight, unable to do anything,” Cassandra says.

  Oh you have no idea.

  “One might say impotent,” Katie says.

  “Good luck getting back on her good side,” I say to Gerald. “Assuming she has on
e.”

  “I will make sure that you pay for this!” Katie says.

  “Yes, I am sure you will try. But for now, this is my victory, under my conditions.”

  The casting of the Sigil of Altazan will equip my goblins with real weapons! Why try and train goblins into smiths? Or enslave smiths to forge my weapons? I’ve always done everything myself and I will equip my army myself!

  This has turned out to be the best birthday ever!

  The Deep Deep

  At last I have everything that I need. How I did not expect the heroes to be delivering what I required right to my feet.

  As we all walk through the ruins of the dwarf city I cannot help but look over at my defeated enemies. Two of them are properly naked and, my, how Leo swings through the air. I would think that is how he came to be known as the Mighty but I know that is wrong since, apparently, no one knows him that intimately. It seems such a waste.

  And Katie keeps shifting her legs when she isn’t scowling at her brother. Yeah, that’s not going to put your ass back in those pants. I can’t even really consider them pants at this point.

  Gerald looks ashamed. Poor, poor Gerald. Not even his friends can acknowledge his noble deeds. Does he regret all that righteousness now? Trying to prove to me that it is better to be honorable and good? I’ll have plenty of time to ask him once I reclaim my possessions.

  Shit! I forgot about my possessions. Katie still has that fucking bag on her belt.

  “Hold up,” I say.

  “What now?” Katie snaps. I walk up to her, sauntering almost, smile beaming from ear to ear.

  “You have something of mine,” I say. I reach down and take the bag around her belt but before I take it I look at her. When I grab it, she has this shocked look on her face. Like I’m grabbing her tit. She’s appalled. But as I linger there she knows there isn’t anything she can do.

  She goes to spit at me! I reflexively push her back a bit and throw her own spit right back in her face! Ha!

  I have the bag in my hand and her mouth is open, aghast at what just happened.

  “You...you...”

  “Please Katie, you shouldn’t spit on yourself. That’s just demeaning,” I say with a smile.

  She wants to lunge at me but she can’t! The goblins tied rope around all their waists, binding their arms tight to their bodies. She could kick me but she knows that will just bring pain down on her, poor thing. She just glowers at me, her face is all scrunched in on itself. I smile. I want her to know that I’m the dominant one. Me!

  “Are you enjoying yourself?” Leo asks.

  I look at his swinging dick and, by the gods, I’ve never see such a glorious specimen like that. It is so different seeing that large manhood right in arms reach.

  “I am thoroughly enjoying myself,” I say, smiling.

  This is the best day ever!

  I spin around on my heels.

  “Let’s continue,” I say, holding Katie’s bag in my hands.

  I wonder what else she has in here. I better be careful, she may have some, personal, items that I’d rather not touch. Can I upend the bag? I mean, I can’t see why not. I’ll do that later. I am not going to miss the opportunity that I’ve been given. My goblins aren’t going to screw this up for me again!

  How much further is the deep deep? We’ve been walking for half an hour already. My feet are starting to kill me here. Oh, I’ll be able to summon some rum or brandy soon, a soft chair to lean back in, and laugh at the heroes.

  Just a little bit longer. Just a little bit longer. How much longer? Where is this deep deep anyway?

  “Are we almost there?” I ask.

  “We are close highness,” a goblin says.

  Good. What should be the first thing that I summon? Well, I need something to keep Cassandra in check.

  We’re leaving the dwarven city, passing under some glorious archway. I wonder where this road leads. Does it lead straight to the deep deep? I am really curious about what is there. But I know I won’t get a good answer from my goblins. My imagination is running wild. Have they found some lost dwarven vault? Oh! Maybe a deep elf fortress. That would be nice.

  I am noticing a lack of bones and armor here in this tunnel. The floor is clearly cut and smoothed into a well traveled road. The dwarves must have fled down some other direction. Well, I have some exploring to do.

  “Whatever it is that you have planned, you will be defeated in the end,” Katie says.

  “By what? My bleeding ears over your constant nagging?”

  “I am not nagging! I am warning you!” Katie says.

  “And I’m warning you. Shut. Up.”

  She’s turned back to glowering at me. By the gods, she makes a lot of noise.

  There is an arched doorway ahead and it looks like the scouts are heading inside. Do I need to mention that a giant could fit in that doorway, because I think I mentioned this fact with all dwarven construction.

  Yes. We are going to the right. We turn the corner and before me I see...more road stretched out before me. This wasn’t it? Really?

  It can’t be that far away. We have to be almost there. How long ago did I send those goblins to summon this army?

  “So are we lost?” Katie asks.

  She won’t shut up.

  “We are not lost. Why? Afraid of walking?”

  “You’ll get yours in the end,” Katie says.

  “You should be more concerned with your end rather than mine,” I say, smiling. Does she know I was talking about her ass? Oh, there goes that pretty little face all scrunched in on itself again. Yeah. She knows. It should be beneath me to make butt jokes like that, but it makes me laugh so why the fuck should I care?

  Okay, the road is just this long and straight affair right now. Easy to defend. Yes, a couple goblins, standing side by side, with some large shields and some with steel spikes would work well here. It would be difficult for an invading force to get past them. And when I mention my goblins I mean my new and improved goblin army.

  Come on! Where is this place? They should have called it the far far.

  Another arched tunnel up ahead. What is on the other side? I’m imagining another long road.

  “All those people that have suffered, and for what?” Katie asks.

  “All those people? One. One person,” I say.

  “You kidnapped two,” Katie says.

  “One escaped,” Gerald says.

  “And the other is dead,” Katie says.

  “That almost sounded judgmental,” I say.

  “What you have done is a crime,” Katie says.

  “Says the rogue,” I say.

  “There will be divine vengeance for what you’ve done!” Katie says.

  Why can’t I turn her off? I mean, I could. But I’d have to stop, grab some cloth from...somewhere. Shove it into her mouth. That is too much work.

  “I won’t rest until you’re stopped,” Katie says.

  Is it really that much work though?

  We pass through the arched tunnel and...it is an old dwarven fortress. I see many goblins running around with old dwarven helms on their heads. They look so comical it makes me chuckle. I guess someone found the old armor lying around. They look like children playing at being soldiers with those oversized helmets on their heads and their flappy little green ears dangling at the sides of their faces.

  “This is wonderful,” I say.

  My goblins are so excited.

  “We want to show you everything!”

  “I’ll see everything, but...” I look at the heroes. By the gods, I have never wanted anything so bad in all my life. Not even sex. And sex is fucking awesome. “I need to cast my spell. Go and find a goblin willing to be honored.”

  The goblins look at one another and then they turn to me and nod.

  “We will do it,” they say before they run off.

  “No. Not all of you run off,” I say.

  About half turn to me and remain.

  “These prisoners need
to be looked after. Let’s move over...over there is a flat area. Let’s move over here.”

  “You won’t get away with this,” Katie says.

  Why won’t she shut up? Why? This is divine vengeance on my ears. It truly is.

  “Put her,” I point to Katie, “and him,” I point to Gerald, “over there.” I point to a small rock outcropping from the wall.

  “And the others?” a goblin asks.

  “Keep them right here,” I say.

  “You aren’t afraid of us trying something?” Cassandra asks.

  “Oh, I know you can cast spells. I’m not an idiot. But, do you know that you are surrounded by a lot of goblins? And I mean, a lot. Do you think, without weapons, your friends will be able to aid you?” I ask.

  “I’m ready whenever you are Cassandra,” Katie says.

  “Oh, shut up already,” I say. “You attack me and you’re just going to get another humiliating beat down. You kill me and you die. Just, shut up. You lost. Sit there in your defeated, assless pants, frustrated at your impotence.”

  And, she’s back to glowering.

  I need to make sure it is the right time. Shit. It might be too late. I cast a spell, a simple spell, and see a large orb rise in the air above me and it is just a hair of a silver line on the right side.

  “Just past midnight,” Cassandra says.

  Half past, I would imagine. I have a few minutes left. I still have to kill the goblin, draw the sigil, get blood from these two...I can do this.

  “We found one,” a goblin says.

  A goblin, wearing a red sash but smaller that most of the red sashed goblins, walks up to me proudly. They have a habit of giving a red sash to a sacrifice, I’ve noticed. Which is fine. I did leave it up to them who they award red sashes to.

  “I am ready,” the goblins says.

  “Good. You are doing me and your tribe a great service,” I say. I cast an ice shard and spear him in the side of the head.

  “My god!” Leo says.

  “Animal!” Katie says.

  “This is an honor,” I say. I dip my fingers in the blood of the goblin and get to work drawing the sigil. I have to work fast. Otherwise I’ll have to try again tomorrow. And I don’t need another group of heroes trying to stop me again like today!