by June Belfie
Living Plain – Book One
Anna’s Trials
by
June Bryan Belfie
Other Books by June Bryan Belfie
The Zook Sisters of Lancaster County Series
Book One – Ruth’s Dilemma
Book Two – Emma’s Choice
Book Three – Katie’s Discovery
The Zook Family Revisited Series:
Book One – Waiting for Belinda
Book Two – Bitter Crossroad
Book Three – My Heart Cries Out
Book Four – An English Friendship
Book Five – An Amish Cradle
Julia Series:
Book One – Search for Independence
Book Two – Search for Love
Book Three – Search for Fulfillment
Moving On – A novel About Christian Divorce
All About Grace – Contemporary Novel
A Long Way to Go – Historical Fiction
A Special Blessing for Sara – Christian Fiction
The Inn Game – Humorous Christian Romance
The Landlord – Light Christian Romance
Inn Sane – Memoirs of an Innkeeper
A Time for Nicky – Christian Fiction
Copyright 2015
By June Bryan Belfie
All rights reserved, except for the use in any review,
the reproduction or utilization of this work
in part or in whole, is strictly forbidden
All names and characters are from the imagination of the author.
To my husband, Jim – ever faithful, ever encouraging.
My dear soulmate.
Denki, my liebschen.
Chapter One
Life is difficult for Anna Miller, an Amish widow at the age of thirty with four young children. Trials, she’d never imagined when she was happily married, bombarded her daily life.
For four days, her five-year-old daughter, Rachel, had spiked a high fever along with a tummy bug, which left the child gaunt—bordering on dehydration. Anna hoped this morning things would be better. She walked into Rachel’s room and raised the shade to allow sunlight in.
Then Anna lifted the quilt away from her sleeping daughter’s head to feel her forehead. Thankfully, her fever had broken sometime during the night.
Rachel opened her eyes and smiled weakly at her mother. “Am I all better now, Mamm?”
“Hope so, honey. How did you sleep?”
Rachel stretched her thin arms above her head and nodded. “Gut, I think. No bad dreams.”
Loud footsteps and cranky voices met their ears as Mark, Matthew, and Luke scurried down the staircase to begin their day. Ten-year-old Luke scolded his younger brothers about making so much noise. He was the “head” of the family now. Self-proclaimed ever since his daed was no longer there.
A smile tucked at Anna’s lips as she pictured the day he “took over” and matured well beyond his age. After the funeral, he had put his arms around her waist and told her not to worry. He’d stay with her forever and learn to be the best farmer in the whole county of Lancaster here in Pennsylvania. His small frame and large sad eyes had made her so proud of him, even though Amish were not supposed to be proud. Maybe God would forgive her this strong feeling she had. After all, she no longer had Jeremiah by her side.
Fortunately, her brother Zack had the property next to their two-hundred acres and he worked the fields for her with her brothers-in-law, providing the family with income. One of the deacons stopped by frequently and handed her envelopes containing money contributed anonymously from her friends in the community. Financially, she could make it. Jeremiah used to tease her about her thriftiness. “You could weave bark off a tree, if you needed a new frack,” he’d say with a grin. Nothing was wasted in their home. When garments were no longer strong enough to hold together, the best sections were cut away for future quilts and the worn areas were used as rags. She loved piecing together strips for her small throw rugs. They washed so well and added a homey touch to her simple life.
“Can I get up and come down for breakfast?” Rachel asked her mother.
“You can, little one, but it’s chilly. April yet. Put on your sweater before you come down. The boys are getting too rambunctious. I’d better stop their arguing before they come to blows.”
“They never used to make so much noise when Daed was here.”
Anna nodded as she pulled underwear out of her daughter’s dresser drawer. “I’m afraid lots of things have changed. They don’t listen to me so quick, but I’m getting stronger and I’m going to set down some rules.”
“You miss Daed a lot?”
“Of course.”
“He’s with Jesus now, though. Right?”
“Jah, you can be sure of that. He loved the Lord with all his heart.”
“And he did gut things for people.”
“Jah, that too. Now let me go down and I’ll make you dippy ecks today.”
“My favorite!” Rachel grinned when she pictured the soft-boiled eggs which would await her. Rachel began to dress herself in her favorite green dress and apron as Anna went downstairs to settle the dispute over the remaining donuts she’d made the day before. Her boys had inherited their father’s sweet tooth. Farming had kept his body trim, but he certainly had enjoyed it when she baked desserts.
After the boys finished breakfast they joined their Uncle Zach outside where he was feeding the few remaining farm animals. After their dad died, Anna gave the milking cows to her brother, keeping only Barbie, who provided the family with enough milk for their table and her cooking needs. Luke was responsible for the milking and wouldn’t let anyone help with his chore.
Eight-year-old Matthew and seven-year-old Mark were in charge of feeding the chickens and bringing in the eggs. They also carried in small buckets of coal for the stove. Anna or Zach groomed the two horses and they all worked on keeping their smart new buggy clean and shiny. So they managed.
It was evenings that hurt the most. After the children were down for the night, Anna would collect her mending and sit by the propane lamp to work. The silence wore on her. She had moved Jeremiah’s rocker to the other side of the room where she wouldn’t be constantly reminded of his absence. Though not loquacious, he had been a pleasant man and liked chatting with her about the children and their friends. He loved to tease her about her secret book stash. She loved reading Amish fiction and on occasion, Jeremiah could be caught reading her books as well. They read the Bible every night together. That was the hardest of all. She hadn’t read a single verse since he passed away.
It was so unexpected. A heart attack at his age seemed unheard of. Only thirty-five. His father had passed away at forty, also from a heart attack. She’d have to talk to her doctor about the boys. Things like that could be inherited, she’d heard, and it looked like it could be true.
Her sister, Beth, lived with their parents and sometimes helped out friends at the farmers’ market on Saturdays. Beth suggested Anna make rag rugs to sell, but right now her priority was her children, and at night she was too exhausted to do much beyond the necessities. Perhaps in time…
One evening, glancing at the clock on the wall, she saw it was only eight-thirty. It was still light out, but her body and mind cried out for rest. She laid her sewing aside and slowly went to her bedroom. The bed looked so large. So empty. After preparing for the night, she laid on her side of the bed, faced away from Jeremiah’s side and tried to pray. She blessed each member of her family and then choked back tears and could not continue. Eventually, she drifted off to sleep where in her dreams she saw her dear husband. Oh, that she could sleep forever.
It was chur
ch Sunday. Every other week her congregation met at the home of one of the members to have church service. She looked forward to those days when she joined the other families for a time of fellowship and worship. Zach came with his wife and five children, as did her sister Beth, who was still single, though she’d had two relationships—later broken. Anna wondered if her feistiness scared the men away. She was so different from her sister. Anna couldn’t wait to marry and begin her family. She married at nineteen and became pregnant immediately with Luke. Thrilled at the prospect of being a mother, she remembered feeling hurt when Beth clucked at the news. “Better you than me, Anna. You’ll probably end up with twenty kinner before all is said and done.”
“Jah? Why not? I love big families.”
Beth never offered to watch the children as they came along, but other than that, she was a caring sister. Sometimes now that Anna was widowed, Beth came by to help clean.
As Anna pulled the buggy over to the parking area, one of the young single men, Caleb, came over to unharness the horse and take him to the pasture with the other horses. He patted Luke on the head as he got out of the front next to his mother. “You gettin’ tall like your daed, Luke.”
Luke straightened his posture and grinned. “Strong, too. I can carry the milk bucket by myself.”
“Well, think of that. You won’t need your Onkel Zach much longer, I guess.” He winked over at Anna who smiled back.
“We aren’t quite ready to do it ourselves, Caleb. But soon, I’m thinking.”
Matthew and Mark jumped out the back with Rachel right behind them.
Caleb walked away leading Winnie, their faithful driving horse.
“You stay with the women, Rachel,” Matthew said as he headed toward some of his friends.
“Don’t worry. I won’t spoil your fun,” she remarked, hands on her hips. Anna caught up with her and took her hand.
“Mamm, why are my bruders mean sometimes?”
“I guess that’s the way bruders are when they’re young and mischievous.”
“Were you and Onkel Zach like that?”
Anna laughed. “Probably. I can’t remember too much. I was too busy helping with the little ones.”
“Aenti Beth was the littlest, right?”
“Jah. She was a handful. Still is,” she said under her breath.
Several of the married women came over to Anna and embraced her. She felt so loved. So cared for. She would never have gotten through these last two months without their support. Rachel spotted two of her cousins and ran over to join them.
“How are you doing?” one of the women asked Anna as they all headed towards the barn for the service.
“I’m doing. Not too gut, but I have to be strong for my kinner.”
“Jah. So true. I pray for you all the time.”
“Denki.” Anna turned and took her friend’s hand. “I feel your prayers. Yours and everyone else’s. It’s God’s strength that’s getting me through. The boys are doing better, but I can’t seem to control them sometimes. They have more time-outs than time-ins,” she added with a crooked smile.
“It’s hard without a man in the house.”
“My little man, Luke, tries so hard, but his bruders just laugh at him when he scolds.”
“What a gut boy. He’ll be a wonderful-gut man someday.”
“Jah, that’s for sure and for certain.”
After the service and the meal that followed, Anna took her empty casserole dish, which had contained macaroni and cheese, and called her children. Her brother, Zach, herded up the younger boys and hooked up the horse to the buggy. “I’ll be over sometime Tuesday. Tomorrow I need to spend time on my back acres. Planting time.”
“I understand. Maybe we can let some of our acres lie fallow, Zack. Just for this year. You have so much to do.”
“Nee. Don’t you worry, little schwester. We’ll get it done. I’m lining up a few others to help out. You need the crops to pay your expenses.”
She nodded and put her head down. “It’s so hard, Zack. I try to be strong, but sometimes I wonder if I’ll make it.”
“Only with Gott’s strength. Keep going to the Lord when you’re weak. We have to lay our burdens on Him.”
“I know it. I just have trouble praying right now. Gott forgive me.”
He leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek. “That’s when others take over for you, Anna. You’re still suffering too much. The day will come.”
“You’re a gut bruder. Denki.”
Anna climbed into the driver’s seat as Luke took the seat next to her. She looked over at him. The three in the back were taunting each other, but at least they were fairly quiet about it.
“Luke, take the reins. I’m tired.”
His brows rose and a grin spread across his face. “Jah? Really? Daed taught me how, you know.”
“Jah. He told me.” She smiled as she passed the reins over.
Luke sat taller as he spoke to Winnie in an authoritative voice. “C’mon,” he called as he slapped the reins in the air for affect. Winnie took the cue and moved behind another buggy making its way toward the road. “She listened!”
“Well, of course! She knows who’s driving,” Anna said, her heart filled with love for her first-born. Denki, Lord. Jah, we’ll make it. With You by our side.
Chapter Two
One Saturday, Beth stopped by to leave off some asparagus and stayed to have a cup of coffee with her sister before going back home. “Mamm is afraid she won’t be over this week to help you. She has a miserable cold and doesn’t want to give it to you or the kinner. Daed’s not feeling gut, either.”
“I’ll send soup back to them. I made too much. Still not used to cooking for just me and the kinner.”
“Nee. We have way too much food at home. You’ll use it up.” Beth stirred milk into her mug and stared at the ochre-colored liquid. “Is it getting any easier?”
Anna laid her spoon next to her coffee and shook her head. “Sometimes, maybe. I hate nights.”
“Jah, I imagine that’s the hardest time.”
Suddenly, the back door burst open and Mark came tearing in, eyes dripping with tears. “Matthew hit me! I hate him!”
Anna rose quickly and put her hands on his shoulders. “Stop! Don’t ever say that again! Hate is not a word we use in this house!”
“I don’t care! He’s mean to me and Luke didn’t even yell at him. Nothing’s gut anymore.”
His sobs increased and Anna drew him close to her and held him tightly. “I know. I know. It’s okay. Things will be okay.”
“No they won’t! Daed’s never coming back. I wish I could run away.”
Beth sat stunned, her spoon still in her hand. Anna began to weep. A frightened looking Matthew came through the door. His mouth dropped open. “I didn’t hit him that hard. Honest. He’s being a boppli.”
Anna looked over. “I know. Your bruder is just upset.”
“I guess. I’m sorry, Mark.”
Mark looked over his mother’s shoulder as she knelt beside him, holding him still. “It’s…it’s okay, I guess.”
“It’s Daed, ain’t it, Mamm? He’s really crying over Daed.”
She nodded and he came over and surrounded them both with his arms. Then Beth joined them, tears rising in her eyes. “He was a gut man. It’s very sad.”
“Jah, and he should still be here,” Matthew added. “It just don’t seem fair to take him to heaven when he’s needed here.”
Anna moved back slightly and ran her hand through his hair. “We can’t question Gott, Sohn. We don’t have the mind of Gott.”
“Someday I’m gonna ask Him, Mamm. I hope He has a gut answer.”
Beth smiled at him and nodded. “We’ll all have questions for Him, kiddo.”
Luke came through the back door and stared at the group of teary people. “What’s wrong?”
Anna shook her head. “Just letting off some steam, Sohn. Sometimes it helps to cry out.”
Hi
s shoulders drooped and he pulled on his suspenders. “I guess so,” he added quietly. At that moment, Anna realized she’d never seen Luke cry since the death of his father. She’d been so wrapped up in her own grief, that she had not been aware of the absence of his tears. She looked over at her sister, who shrugged.
Then Anna stood and walked over to Luke who was making strange noises with his throat. “Let’s you and I go for a walk, Luke. By ourselves.” She turned toward her sister. “I hear Rachel upstairs. She’s up from her nap.”
“I’ll take care of her, Anna. You go.”
“Mamm, I don’t want to take a walk. Not now, anyway. I have to go outside and check Barbie. She probably needs milking.”
“Are you sure?”
“Jah. I’m okay. Honest. I just wanted to check on my bruders.”
“You’re a gut boy,” Beth said as she nodded. “Like almost a man.”
“He’s only ten,” Anna said, scowling at her sister.
“Age is relative. He takes on his responsibilities like a man.”
“Go now, Sohn,” Anna said, motioning toward the door. Luke looked first at his aunt and then at his mother, before retreating to the barn. The other two boys went upstairs to get a ball to toss around outside.
“What did I say?” Beth asked, a frown forming on her face.
“He’s not a man. He’s my little bu. He shouldn’t think of himself as a man—my protector. It just isn’t right. He can’t lose his childhood.”
Beth nodded. “I see. You’re right. I’m sorry. I just wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s okay. I’m not upset with you. I know you meant well. I just realized that he hasn’t expressed his grief. Not to me. Not even to himself. He needs to do that, Beth, or he won’t get through all this. He needs to accept his feelings.”
“I’m sure he will in time. Maybe as he sees you getting better—”
