by Lauren Wood
“Do you want me to make you some lunch Molly?”
She looked up at me and smiled. “The only thing you could ever make was grilled cheese Chris and if I remember right, you used to burn that too.”
I will admit that I wasn’t the best cook, but I’d come a long way since we’d been together. I was at least proficient at it now and I wanted to show her that we could have this easiness and still have the future to worry about. I just wanted to get back to where we were yesterday. It all came down to her damn mind going on too fast and me not being able to keep up or slow it down.
“I’m not as bad as I used to be Molly. I can cook now because I didn’t have you around to make it for me.’
“I figured that your servants would do it for you.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “I haven’t changed that much Molly. I can still hack it here in Alaska, don’t you worry about that.”
She smiled at me for knowing what it was that she as thinking about, but I didn’t want her to think that I couldn’t cut it anymore. I felt like my manhood was at a stake in her eyes and I wanted Molly to look at me like she used to. I knew that it was going to be hard to do with all of the changes that had happened, but for some reason, whether I left tomorrow or not, I didn’t want her to look at me like I was less.
“I hear ya, Chris. It’s been a long time. How long has it been since you cut wood?”
It had been a while and she knew it so I didn’t answer her. “A little bit. Do you need some?”
“Well since I have you here, we might as well get some real work done. I thought the trim would take longer. I had forgotten how fast you were when you wanted to be. Remember that job we did for old man Brenan?”
“Vaguely, yes.”
“He was paying hourly and it was a crappy wage so we made that job last three days, which was how much we wanted him to pay anyways.”
“Yeah, if I remembered right, that was all your idea. You drove a hard bargain. I wish that I was as good as you when it came to that. You never caved. I admired that in you, even if it did cause me some drama.”
I was thinking about how stubborn she had been when it came to leaving this damn state behind. She was so adamant that she stay that I hadn’t had a choice but to leave without her. I knew that my destiny was supposed to be in the city. Now I wondered again if I’d made the right decision. Some days it didn’t feel like it and being back home, with Molly made me remember all of the good times and how it was when life was a lot simpler.
“Yes, well I am glad that I have learned to compromise sometimes. It is a lot less drama, but I guess I am the same way when it comes to things that really matters.”
She was talking about the land and selling out. I knew that I wasn’t going to break down and stay, I knew that about myself. I also knew that Molly thought she could somehow keep me here and even though I cared for her, even loved her, it didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to do exactly what I said. The only thing that made it hard for me to feel guilty about it was the fact that I had told her exactly what I was going to do. I was upfront about it so she couldn’t be mad.
I tried to get us to another subject and we talked about where we were going to go to get some dry wood to put up. It wasn’t the time of year to need it, but it was something that was always good to start on because in the winter time, the last thing a person wanted to do was go out and cut wood. I didn’t miss all of the preparation that came with living here. It was hard living and there was something to be said about easy city living.
It wasn’t long before we were out in the woods together and I wanted to get back to the way we were. I started to flirt with her and when she was receptive to that, I decided to push it a little further.
Coming up behind her, I pulled her in with my arms around her waist and kissed her neck. She made a sound of pleasure before pushing me away.
“What are you doing Chris? It’s cold out here.”
I came towards her and leaned in for a kiss, telling her not to worry because I was going to warm her up.
Chapter 20
Molly
I could feel his arms encircling my waist and then the feel of his lips on mine, his tongue entwined with mine. It was the feeling that I’d been trying hard to avoid because it was impossible for me to tell him no when he got me like this. If I had a little space, it wasn’t near as bad.
But now he was against me, his smell was invading my senses and he was all I could think about. Chris knew what he was doing. If I couldn’t think, I wouldn’t be able to refuse him.
After a couple of minutes of his hand running over the side of me and his tongue teasing my lips, I wasn’t able to think or refuse anymore. His plan had worked and I was becoming vapid. It was all I could do to stand up and he seemed to know what the problem was because he backed me up until I felt the roughness of bark from a tree on my back.
Now I could lean back and not feel like I was going to fall to my knees. Chris was in a rush and instead of taking his time, he pushed his hand up my skirt and made sure before he pulled my panties down and told me to turn around.
I did as he asked because I was in no state to say no to anything. I didn’t want to because I knew that it was going to feel good. I wanted him every time he looked at me and touched me, so I was already wet and needy. Chris always had a way of having full command of my body and sometimes it was hard to deal with the way that it was.
My hands were red from rubbing on the tree, but I was looking behind me and Chris was already hard and cock in hand coming towards me. I stuck my ass out and spread my legs a little wider so that he could go deep like we both liked it. I wanted every inch of him inside of me and we both gasped as he slid in rather quickly.
He pulled out just as quickly and bit my neck and then my shoulder as I whined for more. One stroke was just enough to tease me and I shook my ass a little bit, waiting for him to go back inside.
Pressing my body against the tree, I whimpered as he moved slow and fed his meat inside of me at a snail’s pace that was made to drive me crazy. I didn’t want him to ever stop, but I wanted it harder and faster. I needed to come and I didn’t want to wait forever. He knew what I wanted and he was just messing with me.
“Come on Chris, fuck me. I need it fast.”
He made a sound behind me and slammed home. It was hard enough that I was sent into the rough bark, but after pushing against the hard surface, I was able to get him deeper and give myself the relief that my stomach needed.
Chris picked up the pace and I was unable to hold it together any longer. He always knew what it was that I wanted and before long, seconds really I could feel the wave of pleasure run over me and I called out his name.
“Is that how you wanted it?”
I told him that it was and braced myself because I knew that he wasn’t going to stop. One was never enough for him and he wanted me so tired and wore out that I couldn’t think straight. It didn’t take him long at all to do it, he was rather talented, but in several minutes time, I would be pushed over the edge so many times that I wasn’t able to cope. He wanted my knees to go weak where I could barely walk. He used to say that if I could walk right away afterwards, then he must not have done it right.
“Please Chirrs, I can’t take anymore.”
He didn’t stop and it only made him go faster. It meant that he was getting close, but I had to tense up again before he was able to slow down.
Chris pushed in deep one last time before I felt the blast of heat from him. He was right. I wasn’t cold anymore, but I had a feeling that I was going to pay for the heat later.
He started to pull his pants up and I tugged at the bottom hem of my skirt and wondered what had gotten into him. One minute we had been walking and talking and the next minute he was acting like an animal. I liked that side of him, a lot but I was still trying to get used to the way he stretched me and left me so sore now. How had I gotten used to it before?
That’s right, I don’t have to get
used to it. Not this time.
We walked for a while without saying anything and though I was still buzzing off of all of the orgasms, I was still a little down because I couldn’t stop thinking about him leaving. I wish almost that he had lied to me and left without me knowing about it. Then I wouldn’t have had this dark cloud over my head that was taking the joy out of the day because I knew that it wasn’t going to last.
“Are you okay?”
I told him that I was, though I wasn’t sure if that was true or not. I didn’t feel okay, in no sense of the word. I felt like I had made a huge mistake, thinking that I was immune to the pain I would feel being with Chris again. He gave me so much pleasure, more than I could take sometimes, but he also caused so much pain.
Chapter 21
Chris
“All the paperwork is done. All you have to do is give me the go ahead and I will get it all drafted up and signed all the way around. You won’t have to worry about anything else. I will send the papers to New York when they are ready to sign and everything is in order. Was there anything else that you wanted me to do while I was here?”
I told Geeves that it was all that I needed. I was trying to get out of here, before I decided that I really didn’t want to leave. Being with Molly had been great and it was just like old times. It was always perfect with her and even though I knew that I was going to regret leaving, at the same time I knew I had to go.
“No, that will do it.”
“Are you going to be back in New York or are you staying around there for a little while longer?”
“I’ll be back in the city by tonight.”
“Okay, well it will all be sent to you soon.”
“Thanks. I’m glad you could come out here in such short notice. Has she signed the paperwork on her end?”
He knew that I was talking about Molly and he nodded his head, but didn’t say anymore. I had a feeling that I was making a big mistake, but we were all getting ahead. Everyone was going to make a substantial amount of money and it was only a few tourists. It would help the locals.
I tried in every way possible to justify it in my mind, but at the end of the day I felt like I was letting Molly down once again. I hadn’t asked her to come with me because I knew that she would say no, but I wondered and I didn’t want to leave here wondering what would have happened if I would have just asked. I had to find out.
The lawyer left and I was left debating which flight to get on. There was one that was leaving in less than an hour and one that was going to be leaving in four. I had to get home, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t want a little more time with Molly. All I needed was just one more talk with Molly. Maybe this time I would be able to convince her that I need her to come with me.
I left the hotel where he was staying for the night. Geeves had more business out here to do for me and I was ready to get back to Molly. I had one thing on my mind and this time I was determined to make it happen. This time things had to go my way. This week with Molly had brought back all of the old feelings as well as a whole bunch of new ones. I still felt as strongly for her as I did then. This time around though, I was painfully aware of how rare it was, what we had.
I tracked her down when I went to the house and she wasn’t there. When I got to the restaurant and saw her behind the counter, I knew that she had already signed over her part of the land and she wasn’t happy with me.
“Hey Molly.”
As mad as she was, she wasn’t the type that held a grudge and she smiled at me, though it was a sad smile. It seemed to be all she could muster.
“Hey Chris. Did you see the lawyer?”
Molly was asking more than she was letting on and I knew that she was talking about the deal I made with the cruise line. I didn’t want to talk about that though. It wasn’t a good topic and I hoped that once the money came in for her, she would change her mind. It was easy to be happy when you had a lot of money and now she did.
“Yes, I just left the hotel. He is getting older. I guess we all are.”
Molly didn’t answer and I had to finally break the silence. She knew what was coming. We both did.
“Can we go somewhere to talk Molly?”
She shook her head that we couldn’t and I sighed out loud. I didn’t want to do this here, in front of everyone, but she was being stubborn and I would if I had to. It wouldn’t be the first time that half of the town heard us argue.
“I think it would be best if we went somewhere Molly or this is going to get awkward around all of these people.”
“You don’t bother me. You are far more worries about your image than I am worried about mine. You’ve always cared too much.”
“You think you are calling my bluff?”
“Yes.”
Molly was so sure of herself that she turned around and started to make coffee like I wasn’t even there. I don’t know why, but it pissed me off and I was going to show her that nothing had changed. I hadn’t changed and I would show my ass if I had to. Nothing would stop that. She was tempting me and I was going to be gone soon.
“Molly, I need to talk to you. You can’t just have your way with me and then not call me the next day.”
I saw the look on her face as my voice rose and I was trying hard not to laugh. We had done this many times before and now it was different. Instead of going along with it, she pulled me to the back towards the kitchen.
“God Chris, what is wrong with you?”
“Nothing. I was wondering how long it was going to take you. You used to let it go a while, play along some.”
“Well, this isn’t old times Chris. What do you want?”
Chapter 22
Molly
I didn’t want to have this conversation, not now. There wasn’t a reason to have it because I knew what it was already. I’d known after a day or two that Chris was going to leave again. This is why I didn’t want to talk about it now. Why did I want it rubbed in? He was leaving and I’d said my goodbyes this morning as I was leaving for the day. I’d known that I wasn’t going to see him when I got home.
Now he was here and wanted to talk. It was the very last thing that I wanted to do.
I asked him what he wanted after he started to get loud in the restaurant. He was underhanded, much like the very reason he was here and I knew that if I didn’t put a lid on it, he was going to be even more over the top.
“I wanted to say goodbye and ask you something.”
“I know what you are going to ask me Chris and you’re wasting your time.”
He had a look on his face like he was angry with me and he most likely was because this had already happened between us before. I wasn’t one of the women that gave him what he wanted. I wasn’t going to give in, no matter how badly I wanted to. I couldn’t. I had to hold my ground, no matter how much it hurt. I couldn’t lose myself, not even for him.
“So you won’t even consider it?”
He looked hurt and for a minute it was easy to forget that he was the one that wanted this. He was the one that left eight years ago and now he was doing it again. Not just that, he was selling out and going to singlehandedly change the whole town for him to get rich and live off in the big city. It wasn’t right and I wasn’t going to talk about it. I had stuck to my side of the bargain, because I was that type of person, but now what he was doing was just rubbing it in.
“I have and I don’t belong there. I belong here, in Nome.”
“You belong with me.”
“I have felt that way before, but you left, so apparently I don’t.”
“But I’m here now.”
“And you’re leaving again. Look Chris, we can go round and round with this, but at the end of the day, you and I are going to be a world apart. I don’t want to be a part of your world and this one isn’t good enough for you anymore. I don’t think there is anything left to say. Please don’t come out here and embarrass me again. I have to stay here and see these people every day. I know that you don’t care be
cause you will never see them again.”
It looked like he was finally getting the hint. I wasn’t going to let him take over my mind anymore. It was fun while it lasted, really fun, but it’s over now and I had to somehow find a way to pick up the pieces, no matter how hard it was going to be.
I watched him leave without another word. Whatever I’d said had gotten to him, but I wasn’t sure which part of it had done it. I would always wonder if things could have been different, but how could I ever be happy in a place that I despised? He had been happy here once, but we’d grown apart and I was just going to have to chalk it up to a nostalgia thing.
Now that it was out of my system, I had to remember that I had a business to run here. It may not be much, but it was mine.
***
The rest of the day went by like a blur. I tried to keep myself busy, but my mind wandered far too much for my liking and it wasn’t long before I knew that getting over him was going to be harder than I liked to think it would be. I couldn’t pretend like he was a man that I didn’t care about. I loved Chris. Always had and always will, but that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered because neither one of us would give in. he wanted to be there and I wanted to be here. It was that simple.
I kept telling myself that it was never going to work out because of that. We were far too different and where we lived was a big deal. It wasn’t like I was going to be able to change and Chris didn’t want to change. It was all so futile. That’s why I didn’t want to talk to Chris about it because I knew there was no answer. That was the worst part of all. I really think that it would have worked if it we didn’t have such hurdles to go over.
Several people asked me if I was okay and I told them that I was fine. It wasn’t the first time that I had had to wear a smile while I was dying inside. Most people don’t care enough to notice.
I went home with a heavy heart and it got even heavier when I saw no lights on as I pulled up the long driveway. Chris wasn’t here. He’d helped with everything that we could possibly think of and I guess that was his way of making up to me the fact that he was going to be gone again. It didn’t help, but it did give me plenty more memories to keep me up at night.
