Hearts Torn Asunder

by Sherzahd

  ***

  Weeks passed and Josh remained in a coma with little hope of a full recovery. The doctors had managed to remove the bullet before it could cause further damage, but there was too much damage to his spine to repair completely. The damage to his spleen and kidneys took a series of operations to fix; the worst part was the uncertainty… the waiting.

  “Your mum was here earlier, but she couldn’t stay for a visit. She did leave the most hideous-looking bouquet I’ve ever laid eyes on… huge pink flowery things with tentacles. Well, they look like tentacles to me… I’d imagine this would be what tiny pink octopuses would look like. Good thing you can’t see it. It’s pretty awful to look at.” I smiled as my fingers stroked up and down his arm. “And she can’t wait for you to meet her new boyfriend. His name is Joachim. He’s a lot older than her last one… looks to be around your age. You’re thinking how lucky you are to not have to see that, right? You’re such a coward for leaving me to deal with her on my own.

  “And Bethany was here earlier… She aced her midterms. It’s not hard to believe that she’s your sister; she said that she is going to make you proud some day. I told her that you’re already proud. Not sure she believed me; she needs to hear you say it.” I was thankful that my voice held steady, that it didn’t echo the tears pouring from my broken eyes or my bleeding heart. I wanted… no, I needed him to open his eyes and look at me like no other man has ever looked at me before. “And the guys from your office sent you a voucher for a complimentary lap dance at The Cage… Apparently the girls there miss you.” My forced laugh sounded hollow even to my own ears.

  I went on to tell him about my day and all the little things he was missing. Normal was what he needed; that’s what the doctors had said. There was nothing normal about this.

  “Just between you and me, everyone’s putting on a brave face for my sake… but they’re all so, so scared. I don’t think they can imagine a life without you… It’s not something any one of us even wants to imagine. They can’t bear the thought of losing you, so you… you can’t let that happen. Okay?” I paused a moment to catch my breath, unchecked tears spilling down my face. “So why don’t you just stop all this silliness and open those gorgeous eyes… You’re the most stubborn man I know, Joshua Holloway. You’ve made your point… They get it. I get it. Just… just open your eyes… and… and I… I will be here waiting. Right here…”

  I spent every second the hospital staff would allow being at his side – talking to him in the way we used to talk before all of the negatives had entered our lives. Nathan stopped by every day before his rounds and sometimes even on his breaks, charming the nurses into allowing me to stay for as long as I needed to. He had become a part of our family, a part that Josh still had to meet once he opened his eyes again.

  “Have you heard?”

  I turned to smile up at the handsome young doctor standing behind me. “Heard what?”

  “The police think they may have caught the guy who shot Josh.”

  “Are you sure? How do you know?” I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel about it. I hadn’t given much thought to the man who had shot my husband; I had been too preoccupied with willing the man I love to pull through.

  “I don’t really know the details, but he was arrested during an armed robbery similar to the one at Josh’s office.” Nathan shrugged. “I just thought you’d want to know.”

  “It won’t undo what he’s done.” My voice sounded flat, robbed of all the emotion it should have been displaying at such good news.

  Nathan looked at me as if trying to figure out just how and when I got to be this broken. It was a look of puzzlement, laced with pity. He looked as if he wanted to say more on the subject, but his pager beeping interrupted us.

  “We’ll talk later? Go home and get some rest, Madison. I will buy you supper once you get back.” He leant in to kiss the top of my head.

  For some reason, the promise of hospital cafeteria food wasn’t enough motivation to get me to leave, so I took a book from my bag, leafing through the pages until I found what I had been reading the night before.

  “I couldn’t sleep last night, so I went through some of my old poetry books, and I found this. It’s called ‘Seasons of the Heart’ and it made me think of you… Think of us.” I lifted Josh’s hand, stroking it lightly as I began to read. 

  Sitting here alone, I look out across the ocean,

  Cool sand sifting between my toes.

  Soft sprays of salty air blown against my skin

  As blue-green waters rush toward shore.

  Glorious rays of sun in all their splendour

  Dance like golden stars across tranquil waters.

  Brilliant hues mirror the skies above

  In dazzling shades from light to deeper blue.

  Gale-force winds sweeping over land and sea

  Cause the whitecaps to erupt and roll violently.

  Ominous grey waves rising like walls of kismet,

  Crashing onto rocks of ill-fated doom.

  Silvery moonlight reflecting off a calm surface,

  Shimmering like a beacon to guide us home,

  While perilous currents lurk beneath

  The mystical waters of luminescent black.

  Our love is like the ocean… ever changing—

  Each season possessing a splendour all its own

  I close my eyes and feel your hand in mine,

  Our souls locked in eternal bliss.

  I rose to touch my lips softly to his, a stray tear spilling onto his face. “Happy anniversary, my love.”

  Sometime during the night, Josh opened his eyes for the first time in four months. After I’d got the call, I sat in my bed with my arms wrapped tightly around myself and cried. I cried all the tears I’d held inside for months. I cried for myself. I cried with relief. I cried because miracles existed. Mostly, I cried because I was ashamed that, in my heart, I had given up hope.

  ***

  Five years later.

  “Go wide! Go wide!” I lifted one leg and leant back before letting the football rip toward Josh. He tried to get in under it, but it went over his head. “Noooo… that was pathetic.” I laughed as he glowered at me.

  “Yes, Dad, that was pathetic.”

  Josh turned to stick his tongue out at the young boy rolling around on the grass laughing. “You let a girl beat you. Again.”

  “Hey you two… man on wheels here; have a little compassion.” Josh pointed at his wheelchair as if to make his point.

  Tyler raised his brows as he observed Josh with all the seriousness a seven-year-old could muster. “You need to find a new excuse, Daddy. That one is getting a little boring.” He got up and hugged his dad. “Don’t worry, I still love you, even if you make us boys look bad.”

  Josh grabbed him and tickled him until his giggling voice begged for mercy. My heart swelled with unimaginable joy as I watched my beautiful family.

  Josh’s recovery had been a long one; he had needed more than a year of intensive physiotherapy to get back minimal mobility in his lower body. There had been days when everything had seemed dark and hopeless, days when he had lost the will to carry on, and days when both of us felt the strain.

  Then one day a ray of golden light was shone into our bleak little world. A woman and young child were brought into the emergency room with massive injuries from a car crash. The woman succumbed to her injuries a few days after they were admitted and the young boy fought bravely for weeks before he could be moved out of the I.C.U. The authorities were unable to track down any living relatives of the young mother, so the boy became a ward of the state, and, after a five-month stay in the hospital, he had grown inside the hearts of everyone on staff. When the time finally came to send him home, Nathan nominated that Josh and I foster young Tyler until a more permanent home could be found. If you have never believed in love at first sight, I can assure you that it does exist. That was three years ago and Tyler is now our legally adopted son.

&n
bsp; We told Tyler about the sad events that had brought him into our lives. We spoke to him often about his mother and about the love she had for him, reminding him daily that she would always be a huge part of his heart. Every night as we knelt before his bed to give our thanks, he never forgot to say a prayer for the mother he would never get to know. He was our miracle. And we were his.

  Our gazes met and I smiled at my amazing husband, my heart overflowing with love. I was truly blessed.