Little White Lies

by Jessica Burkhart

  “There’s nothing wrong with that,” I said. “Please. You could go on fifty group dates before you went out with him by yourself. Whatever makes you comfortable.”

  Paige raised herself up on her elbow. “Be real. No guy’s going to do group dates forever. Your party will be it and then if he really likes me, he’ll want us to go out … alone.”

  “But you could be ‘alone’ at the Sweet Shoppe. Or the movies. Or a picnic in the courtyard. There are plenty of people around and you won’t feel nervous about being on a date-date.”

  It felt good to be the one giving Paige advice for once. I was always going to her with a zillion questions, but I actually had experience with boys—not that I’d had a perfect score in that arena.

  Paige nodded. “That’s true. But I really like him. Why don’t I want to go out with him by myself yet?”

  I thought for a second. “Maybe you’re just scared to take that step. But you don’t have to. Not till you’re ready. If he has a problem with doing what you want, then drop him.”

  Paige grinned. “Wise advice from the girl with the amazing boyfriend.”

  I turned off the light. “Yeah. An amazing boyfriend.”

  And I was doing absolutely everything necessary to keep him.

  23

  ¿HABLA ESPAÑOL? APPARENTLY NOT

  I WALKED INTO SPANISH CLASS, FLIPPING through my assignment notebook. There, in purple, was presentation abt self in Thursday’s assignments due box. And I didn’t have it. I’d forgotten all about it—something I’d never done. But I’d been thinking about so many other things! I tried to imagine telling Señora Perez that I hadn’t done the homework because I’d been distracted by my boyfriend and ex–almost-boyfriend. Yeah, that would go over well.

  I slid into my seat and yanked my Spanish book from my bag. I flipped to the dictionary in the back and grabbed a clean sheet of paper, tearing off the corner by mistake. I checked the clock as students filed into the classroom. Class didn’t start for five minutes—I could come up with something.

  Hola, I wrote. Me llamo Sasha.

  “Hey,” Eric said, sitting down beside me.

  I kept flipping through the dictionary. “Hi,” I said. “Forgot about the presentation so I’m writing it now.”

  “Ohhh. Sorry. Go ahead.”

  Eric left me alone to finish. I managed to scribble three more sentences about myself before Señora Perez walked into the room. She never wore anything but skirts or dresses and today wasn’t any different. She’d paired a flowy brown skirt with a collared white shirt. Eric and I’d debated about whether or not she actually owned any pants.

  “Buenas tardes,” she said. “Let’s get the presentations out of the way first. I hope you’re all prepared.” She looked around the class and everyone ducked their heads—no one wanted to go first.

  “Sasha,” Señora Perez said.

  My head dipped even more.

  “You may go first,” she finished.

  I looked at Eric who smiled at me. You got it, he mouthed.

  I slid my paper off my desk and stood. At least I’d be done and then I wouldn’t have to worry about it the rest of class. Standing in front of class, I stared down at my red ballet flats before looking up at everyone. My eyes wandered to Eric and he gave me a reassuring smile.

  “Hola,” I started. “Me llamo Sasha. Soy de los Estados Unidos.”

  My face burned. I was going to fail this assignment. Saying I was from the United States was so lame! I hadn’t even narrowed it down to Connecticut.

  “I …” I looked at my paper and froze.

  I locked eyes with Eric and he looked as if he wanted to jump up, grab my paper, and finish my speech for me. He was gazing at me with such empathy that it almost made things worse.

  “Keep going, Sasha,” Señora Perez encouraged. “Don’t worry about pronunciation for every word. Just try.”

  I could do this. I knew how to say that I rode horses.

  “Yo monto … burros,” I blurted out.

  Oh.

  My.

  God.

  I just said I rode donkeys!! WHY?! Charm would be majorly insulted that I’d called him a donkey!

  The entire class smirked. My skin burned with embarrassment. This was the worst class of my life! I’d never said anything that dumb before.

  “Class,” Señora Perez reprimanded. “Sasha, go ahead.”

  I started over, this time saying that I rode horses and was an only child before I stumbled back to my seat.

  Brilliant. A-plus.

  “Thank you, Sasha,” Señora Perez said.

  She marked something in her grade book and I hurried back to my seat, fighting the urge to bang my forehead against the desktop.

  Everyone else did their presentations and Señora Perez gave us our homework for the next day. I was the first one out of the classroom with Eric close behind me.

  “Hey,” he called, taking my arm. “You messed up just a little. You pulled it off anyway.”

  I groaned. “I said I rode donkeys! Who says that?! Omigod.”

  “You, apparently,” Eric teased, smiling. “C’mon. It’s over. No one will even remember tomorrow. You’ll be prepared for the next one.”

  I leaned into him as we walked down the hallway and he put an arm around my waist. “Ugh. I know you’re right—it just doesn’t feel that way yet.”

  “It will soon. And you have way better things to think about,” Eric said. He looked down at me. “Your party is tomorrow! I can’t wait to celebrate your birthday with you.”

  I felt tension slip out of my body. Eric’s arm was warm and snug around me in the chilly air-conditioned hallway. Eric pulled open the heavy door to the stairwell and motioned me ahead of him. It was empty inside. With a slight shake of my head, I realized I’d been spending a lot of time in stairwells lately.

  The door shut behind us and we were alone on the landing.

  “We really need to see each other more,” I said. “We haven’t had much time to be together outside of class.”

  Eric’s brown eyes flickered over my face and he placed a warm hand on my back. “We will. Starting tomorrow. We’ll go to your party and then we’ll have to do something this weekend. Deal?”

  “Deal.”

  Eric was so close to me that, for a second, I was sure I could hear his heart beating. He leaned closer and kissed me. Eric’s lips against mine made me feel dizzy and I was glad his hand was behind me. That was the kiss I’d been expecting since I’d been back on campus. We hadn’t lost any of our sparkle over the summer—it had all been in my head.

  24

  AND THE GOLD MEDAL GOES TO …

  I TROTTED CHARM AROUND THE INDOOR arena, feeling better than I had since the first day of school. Rain pounded the roof, making it sound as if more than three horses were warming up.

  I hadn’t stopped feeling sparkly since my kiss with Eric. Tomorrow night was going to be amazing and I had to stop worrying about problems that didn’t even exist. Before the lesson, I’d put on my new breeches—plum-colored ones with suede knees—and was wearing my fave white shirt with a tiny pocket. I felt like me—like I knew what I was doing and could handle today’s lesson.

  Jas trotted Phoenix up to me. I ignored her and stared ahead.

  “Awww, trying to focus for once?” Jas asked.

  I turned to look at her. “Awww, trying to throw me off much?” I asked, my tone mocking hers.

  Jas’s eyes narrowed. Phoenix and Charm trotted faster, matching each other stride for stride. Before Jas could deliver a comeback, Mr. Conner entered the arena.

  Jasmine checked Phoenix and dropped him back behind Charm. Ahead of me, Heather slowed Aristocrat. Mr. Conner walked into the arena and stopped in the center.

  “Hi, girls,” he said. “Please drop your stirrups and cross them.”

  Heather and I looked at each other—this was going to be intense. Jasmine, Heather, and I secured our stirrups and waited for instructions.

&nb
sp; “Start at a sitting trot and make large figure eights, crossing through the arena’s center,” Mr. Conner said.

  I eased Charm into a trot and sat deep in the saddle, gripping with my knees to prevent bouncing. We followed behind Aristocrat and the darker chestnut bent through the moves with ease. Charm followed behind him. I was glad I couldn’t see Jasmine for most of the exercise.

  “Nice, Sasha,” Mr. Conner called out. I smiled, but stayed focused. Finally! This was how Charm and I were supposed to perform during lessons.

  We made three more figure eights. With each repetition, I felt myself loosen up and my hips and back flexed. He was so getting a giant carrot after this.

  “Larger figure eights at a slow canter,” Mr. Conner said.

  I gave Charm extra rein and within two strides, he started to canter. Overhead, the rain slammed into the roof and almost drowned out the sounds of hoofbeats. The movement of Charm’s canter and the soft overhead lights made me relax.

  “Slow to a walk,” Mr. Conner called.

  We walked for a couple of laps and Charm was quiet—listening and waiting for a cue from me.

  “Sitting trot for half a lap, then canter,” Mr. Conner said.

  I squeezed my legs against Charm’s sides and pushed my seat into the saddle. Charm trotted and snorted, pulling his head down. He’d seen Aristocrat and Phoenix already start to canter and he wanted to go. I corrected him and made him trot for an extra lap before asking him to canter.

  “Good call, Sasha,” Mr. Conner said.

  We made two circuits around the arena before Mr. Conner asked us to stop. “I want to move to the other end of the arena and work the horses through some gymnastics.”

  Heather, Jasmine, and I guided the horses behind Mr. Conner.

  Ten rails had been lined up—all about six inches off the ground.

  “These are spaced close together on purpose,” Mr. Conner explained. “But they’re low and you’ll trot through the course.” He moved away from us and over to the side of the course to watch.

  “Omigod,” Jas hissed. “Trotting over those tiny jumps?”

  Heather and I ignored her. I couldn’t think of one lesson when Jas hadn’t complained. She wasn’t a giant fan of practicing—she lived to compete.

  “Sasha,” Mr. Conner said. “You can go first.”

  I trotted Charm over to the start of the course and guided him in front of the first rail. He jumped it easily, trotted a few more strides and took the second rail. He bounced through the gymnastics and kept an even stride throughout. At the end of the course, I patted Charm’s neck and slowed him to a walk.

  Mr. Conner nodded at us and motioned to Heather to go ahead. Heather and Aristocrat moved smoothly through the course. Aristocrat seemed to like the gymnastics—he tossed his head at the end of the course as if he wanted to go again.

  Jas’s lips were pressed together and she glowered as she watched Heather rejoin us.

  For the rest of the lesson, I kept my attention on Charm and we were a team again. When Mr. Conner raised his hand to signal the end of the lesson, I was sorry to stop. I’d even forgotten that there hadn’t been stirrups! It felt good to be back in the zone.

  “Great job, girls,” Mr. Conner said. He looked at each of us. “I’ve noticed improvements in all of your hands and legs over the past couple of lessons. Please care for your horses and I’ll see you at the next lesson.”

  I uncrossed my stirrups, dismounted, and then ran them up.

  “You were great, boy,” I told Charm. “I’m so proud of you.” I loosened his girth and pulled the reins over his head.

  I hugged him and started walking him in lazy circles around the arena. Maybe I’d been reading into things too much all this time. Tomorrow was my birthday, Eric and I were happy and my best friends were there for me. I’d been dreading the party because I felt so guilty about what I was doing, but it was time to let myself off the hook. Every lie I’d told was for a good reason.

  25

  JUST ONE WISH

  THE CALM I’D FELT LAST NIGHT ABOUT THE party? Gone.

  It was starting in less than an hour and I was freaking. I’d already dropped my hair dryer (a little too close to a sink full of water, eep!), tripped over my desk chair leg, and flatironed my hair so many times, I was lucky to have any hair left that wasn’t singed.

  “Sasha,” Paige asked. “Are you sure you’re okay? Did you have an espresso again?”

  “I’m fine,” I said. “No coffee. Just nervous—it’s my birthday party and I want everyone to have fun.”

  “They will,” Paige said. She pulled on a casual black pocket dress and smoothed out the front. “Remember who planned the party.”

  I smiled. “This is true. Any party of Paige Parker’s is always fun.”

  I picked up my own dress off my bed and put it on. It was a tank dress with a white top and tiered black bottom. I slipped my feet into my heels—I’d managed to convince Mom to let me buy kitten heels over the summer. They were shiny black peep-toe heels with tiny bows. I still had to do my makeup, but I wanted to get used to wearing the heels. I did not want to make an entrance by tripping as I walked through the door.

  “Ready for makeup?” Paige asked.

  I was in her desk chair in seconds. “Yes!”

  Paige took out her makeup bag, which wouldn’t even close anymore, and got to work.

  “I’m trying a plum eyeshadow, since purple is supposed to enhance green eyes,” she said. “Okay?”

  “Of course,” I said. “I totally trust Jade.”

  Paige grinned. “And Kiki can do me next.”

  Paige and I had been using makeup-artist names since the first time we’d done each other’s makeup.

  I sat back in the chair, trying to breathe and not let Paige see how nervous I was. She applied a light coat of moisturizer, evened out my skin with a sheer foundation, and applied a coat of peachy-rose—colored blush. She used black liquid eyeliner on my top eyelids and then brushed on the eye shadow.

  “Clear gloss and you’re party-ready,” Paige said, stepping back and studying my face. “You look totally gorgeous.”

  I peered into the mirror. “Paige, you should be charging for this. Seriously. Now you sit.”

  Paige sat down and I picked the different shades and colors I wanted for her. Her ivory skin didn’t need foundation, so I dotted concealer under her eyes. I grabbed a soft-gray shadow that would complement her red hair. I dipped the skinny brush into the eye shadow.

  “You’re shaking,” Paige said. “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m just so excited!” I said. “It’s my thirteenth birthday party. Now close your eyes.”

  Paige glanced at me for a second, but finally nodded. “Okay. But seriously, don’t worry about anything. I’ve got everything under control—all you have to do is show up.”

  “I know,” I said. “You’ve gone above and beyond to throw me what I know is going to be an awesome party. I really, really appreciate it, Paige.”

  She smiled at me. “You’re my best friend. Of course I’d do this for you—you know that. And Callie helped a lot too.”

  “I know,” I said. “Now close your eyes.”

  When Paige’s eyes were shut, I took another breath and willed myself to stop shaking. Everything was going to be fine. I worked hard to keep my hand steady as I brushed eye shadow along Paige’s eyelids.

  “Okay,” I said a few minutes later. “Check it out.”

  Paige got up and looked in the mirror. “Uh, I think I should pay you. Maybe we should just go into business together.”

  We giggled and did last-minute hair checks. I applied a final coat of gloss—Lip Glam in Berry Glisten. “Use this,” I said, passing it to Paige. “It’ll look even better on you with your skin color.”

  Paige brushed the wand over her lips and rubbed them together. “This does look good. Thanks.” She handed it back to me.

  “Ready?” I asked. I just wanted to get the party started and end it
as early as possible.

  “Ready.”

  Paige and I walked down the hallway to the Winchester common room. Paige hurried to get in front of me and placed her hand on the doorknob.

  “Happy birthday, Sasha. I really hope you like everything,” she said.

  “Paige.” I hugged her. “I’m going to love it. Open the door already!”

  With a final grin at me, Paige pulled open the door and waved me inside. I stepped into a room that looked nothing like the Winchester common room. Paige had transformed it from cozy chic to modern and cool with a black-and-white theme. Bottles of sparkling cider were chilling in an ice bucket on the counter and a dozen champagne flutes were ready to be filled.

  “Paaaige,” I said. “This is amazing!” There were black and white candles everywhere. Paige had brought in clear vases and had filled them with origami black and white flowers. Only when I stopped gaping at the decorations did I notice the people inside.

  “Happy birthday,” Troy said, walking over to hug me.

  “Thanks!” I said. “Glad you came.”

  I looked over and saw Jasmine in the corner talking to Alison. Neither girl looked as if she was about to kill the other. I wondered if everyone would be able to play it cool tonight. Julia was surveying the snack table with Nicole, Annabella, and Suichin.

  Andy, Ben, and Ryan walked in together and each guy put a present on the gift table Paige had set up. There was already a massive pile of presents—boxes, bags, and cards—almost spilling off the table. It was a colorful explosion of ribbons and wrapping paper.

  “Sasha!” Callie and Jacob walked in holding hands and Callie released his hand to hug me. “Happy birthday!”

  “Thanks!” I hugged her back, avoiding Jacob’s gaze. “Paige told me you helped a lot, so really, thank you.”

  “Please,” Callie said. “I got party-planning lessons from a pro. It was awesome.”

  “Happy birthday,” Jacob said.

  “Thanks.” I half smiled at him, then we both looked away from each other.

  Callie looked gorgeous and perfect for a summer party. She wore a creamy colored skirt that hit just above her knees and a black tank top with lacy straps.