Always in Her Heart

by Marta Perry

  “We’re going to do this, Annie. Don’t doubt it.”

  His voice was very soft, but she had the sense she’d be able to hear him even if he just thought the words.

  “I know.”

  He was so close that the slightest movement would bring his face against hers. For a second she thought he’d move, thought he’d lay his cheek close against hers and fold his arms around her. She didn’t—she couldn’t—

  Then he was drawing back, closing the album, putting cool space between them. His head was turned away, and she couldn’t see his expression.

  Just as well. She leaned back, trying to still her chaotic thoughts. Link had shown her depths within himself, had touched her at a level she didn’t want to expose. What had happened to the guard she kept around her emotions? What would happen if she let him get too close again?

  Chapter Five

  Leaving Marcy in the church nursery on Sunday morning had been harder than Annie had expected. She’d felt as if she were leaving part of herself behind, and the fact that Marcy had happily toddled over to the toy box hadn’t really helped. She still hadn’t wanted to leave her.

  Overprotective? Probably.

  Annie sat erect in the pew next to Link. She tried to concentrate on the Psalm reading, tried not to feel as if every person in the sanctuary watched them, but her effort was useless. The back of her neck prickled with the effect of those stares.

  Naturally people were curious. Lakeview was a small town, where everyone knew everyone else. When two prominent citizens died and a custody battle started over their young child, people would wonder, especially when they heard about her sudden marriage to Link.

  Frank and Julia were members here, although Becca had said they seldom attended. Still, that might be another reason why the Lesters would garner support.

  She glanced at Link, sitting quietly next to her in the heavy walnut pew where Davis’s family had sat for generations. Everything about the church—the stone exterior in the same style and material as the courthouse, the massive pews and pulpit, the soaring Gothic arches—proclaimed that this church had served the people of God in this place for a hundred years and would do so for a hundred more. Even the stained-glass windows with their memorial plaques for congregants long dead announced stability and tradition, reminding her that she didn’t belong in Lakeview.

  If Link felt out of place or disliked the stares of the congregation, it didn’t show. He looked up at the rose window above the pulpit, apparently listening intently as the choir began the anthem. He seemed as distant from her now as he’d been since the night they’d looked at the photo albums together, the night she’d thought he was going to kiss her.

  Since that night he’d put in long hours at the site and the office, then come home and closeted himself in Davis’s small study. Had he been avoiding her or just stressed with work? She wasn’t sure. The trouble was that avoiding her meant that he avoided Marcy, too.

  She gave him another sidelong glance. What lay hidden by that square, determined jaw and firm mouth? Link had revealed something of himself when they’d looked at those pictures of Davis’s family. Maybe he’d been regretting that ever since. He wasn’t a person to give away his feelings, any more than she was.

  The choir finished on a chord that vibrated to the arched ceiling, and sat in a rustle of robes. Garth stepped to the pulpit, grasping its sides the way he had the day he’d spoken at Davis and Becca’s funeral.

  Next to her, she saw Link’s hands clasp each other until the knuckles whitened. She glanced at her own and saw that they looked exactly the same. The common grief she and Link shared had created an intimacy between them that she didn’t know quite how to handle.

  Garth read the second scripture passage—the story of Samuel’s anointing of the boy David to be king of Israel. God had passed over the older, taller, stronger sons of Jesse until Samuel reached the boy.

  Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart.

  At this moment, God could see into Link’s heart far better than she could. He understood the grief they shared, saw the feelings that drove Link.

  Father, you know how worried I am about this situation. I keep feeling my way, afraid each step will be a mistake. Please, guide me.

  The words Link had spoken floated up to the surface of her mind. I love Marcy for Davis’s sake. I’ll protect her inheritance no matter what.

  That was what troubled her. She suddenly saw it as clearly as if God had printed it out in large letters for her to read. Link was focused on preserving Marcy’s inheritance, rather than on loving Marcy. That was why she couldn’t quite bring herself to trust him.

  She looked up at Garth, realizing she’d been so intent that she’d missed part of his sermon. But maybe God had opened her mind to what she really needed to hear.

  By the time the final Amen was said, Annie knew what she had to do. She had to help Link love Marcy for herself alone. If he did, she could stop fearing that he’d do the wrong thing out of his zealous determination to save the company for the child at all costs.

  The only question was, how could she bring that about?

  She followed Link out of the pew. Nora Evers, fluttering in a black-and-white dress that matched her black-and-white hat, caught her arm as she moved into the aisle.

  “Don’t forget about the Bible study tonight.” Nora pressed her hand. “I’ll stop for you at about quarter of seven.”

  Nora had invited her to the study group Garth led on Sunday evenings. She hadn’t actually said she’d go, but Nora seemed to assume it. She glanced at Link. If she went, he’d have to stay with Marcy. He wouldn’t have any choice about getting to know her better.

  “I’ll be ready.” She smiled at the older woman. “I’m sure Link won’t mind.”

  Link eyed her as Nora moved off. “What is it Link won’t mind?”

  “Watching Marcy tonight while I attend Garth’s Bible study class.”

  He frowned. “I have a lot of work to do. Can’t you get someone else?”

  “Who? Nora’s the only one I’d feel comfortable leaving her with, and Nora’s going to the study.”

  Link glanced around, as if making sure no one in the throng moving out the aisle was paying attention to their conversation. “Look, I’ve got to leave work early tomorrow as it is for the social worker’s visit.”

  “I’m sure the social worker will be impressed when she learns you’re comfortable enough with Marcy to take care of her alone.”

  His eyes narrowed, as if he prepared another argument. Before he could speak, a small figure hurtled into his legs and bounced back.

  “Stop that, Jeremy.” A slight woman who didn’t look old enough to be the child’s mother grabbed him.

  The woman straightened, pushing a strand of auburn hair away from her face, and Annie recognized her. One of Becca’s close friends, but which one? Names rattled through her mind.

  “Jenna Elliot,” the woman said quickly. “I’m sure you don’t remember me—”

  “Of course I do. You brought dinner over the night I arrived.” The wheels had begun to turn now. Becca and Jenna had started a play group together for their toddlers.

  Jenna nodded, ignoring the way the four-year-old tugged at her hand. “I’ve got to pick up the baby from the nursery, but I just wanted to remind you of play group at my house this week.”

  “Well, I—”

  “I’ll call you.” Jenna let the little boy pull her down the aisle. “See you Wednesday.”

  She worried at it as Link piloted her to the side door that led into the church’s education wing. She ought to be happy to participate in the play group. She wasn’t.

  Link stopped next to a bulletin board decorated with Noah, the ark and a variety of colorful animals that had obviously been created by small hands. The corridor was empty, although voices echoed from the nursery. He looked down at her, a question in his dark eyes.

  “Why don’t you want to attend the play group?�
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  Could he read her mind? “What makes you think I don’t want to?”

  Link’s straight brows lifted. “Do you?”

  She concentrated on a zebra whose stripes were, for some reason, red and green. “I guess I should go. It would be good for Marcy.”

  “But you don’t want to. Why?” He propped his shoulder against the bulletin board, plainly prepared to stay there all day until she answered.

  “It makes me uncomfortable.” The words came out reluctantly. “It feels like I’m trying to take Becca’s place.” Tears suddenly stung her eyes.

  Link gripped her hand in quick, wordless sympathy. “You are taking her place, Annie. But it’s not as if you chose this.”

  She blinked rapidly to hold back the tears. “I just—” How could she explain something she didn’t understand herself?

  “They were Becca’s closest friends. They’ll want to be your friends, too.”

  That had a familiar echo. Becca had made friends so easily. People couldn’t help responding to her warmth and joy. She’d always moved into friendship more cautiously, feeling more comfortable being the onlooker.

  “Tell you what.” Link’s grasp tightened, compelling her attention.

  She looked up, to find him half smiling. “What?”

  “I’ll put my doubts aside and take care of Marcy tonight. You put yours aside and go to play group on Wednesday. Deal?”

  Apparently God wasn’t the only one who could see into her heart.

  “All right,” she said reluctantly. “It’s a deal.”

  How had he gotten himself into this? Link tried to keep Marcy from wiggling off the changing table while he put her into her pajamas.

  That process was a lot easier said than done. He’d get one foot in, and while he was putting the other one in, the first one would pop out.

  “Come on, honey, give me a break!”

  For some reason, Marcy seemed to find that funny. She giggled, grabbing at his face, and he quickly pulled the pajamas up.

  “Okay, we’re going to get this done.” He’d noticed that Annie always talked to the child while she was doing something. Maybe that was the solution.

  Marcy looked up at him while he snapped the pajamas, her blue eyes wide and round. “Nan?”

  “Nan had to go out for a while.” Had she? Or had that been an excuse to get him involved with the baby? “She’ll be back in a little bit. Link will put you to bed.”

  Marcy looked doubtful. Well, no more doubtful than he felt.

  He’d jumped into baby-sitting impulsively, driven partly by his sense of obligation and partly by his desire to see Annie do something he thought would improve their chances with the social worker.

  It hadn’t taken much thought to decide Annie ought to belong to the play group. All he’d had to do was question whether his mother ever would have done such a thing.

  Of course not. So the answer was that a good mother would do exactly the opposite of what his had done.

  He picked Marcy up, and the child settled comfortably in his arms. Annie’s hesitation had hinted at a shyness behind her cool composure. He hadn’t guessed at that. Still, she’d be fine. Jenna and the other women had been Becca’s friends. They’d make her feel welcome for Becca’s sake.

  “Okay, sweetie, time for bed.” He swung the baby over the crib railing as he’d done once before. She clung to him, letting out a cry that nearly pierced his eardrums.

  “Hey, what’s wrong? You always go right down for Link and Nan, remember?”

  Apparently not. Marcy wrapped small arms around his neck and held on tight.

  He patted her back. “Come on, sweetie. Link has work to do. Be a good girl and go to bed. I’ll sing you a song.”

  That didn’t work. Neither did three stories in a row or four more lullabies.

  He tried plopping her in the crib and making a hasty retreat. In the hallway, he leaned against the wall. He discovered that his tolerance for heart-rending cries was only about a minute and a half.

  He pushed open the door and switched on the light. “Okay. I guess we’re just not ready to go to bed yet.”

  He gave a fleeting thought to the work he’d expected to get through tonight—the record-keeping he’d taken for granted when Davis was doing it. Well, Annie shouldn’t be too late. He hoped.

  An hour later he and Marcy were still on the family room floor. He’d build a tower with blocks, she’d knock it over. Simple way of keeping her entertained, except that she was so tired she lay on the rug, reaching out with one chubby hand to knock the tower down.

  He heard Annie’s key in the lock with a mix of relief and annoyance.

  “Why on earth is she still up?” Annie put her Bible and a notebook on the side table and slid her jacket off. She knelt beside Marcy. “What are you doing, sweetpea?”

  “Mostly she’s been crying every time I try to put her in bed.”

  Annie pulled the baby onto her lap. Marcy snuggled against Annie’s soft yellow sweater. He shouldn’t be noticing that the color brought out unexpected gold highlights in Annie’s brown eyes. She dropped a kiss on the baby’s curls, then looked at him, brows lifting.

  “Did you try singing to her?”

  “Every lullaby I know. And I read her favorite stories. Nothing doing.”

  He hated the defensive note in his voice. Why should he be defensive? This wasn’t part of their deal. He was supposed to take care of the company, not the baby.

  Annie stroked Marcy’s back. The baby’s eyes closed. “Did you try patting her?”

  “I tried everything. She was fine until I put her in the crib, and then she’d scream as if I were deserting her.”

  Deserting her. His father had taken off as soon as he’d learned Link’s mother was pregnant. If you needed a role model in order to be a decent father, he was out of luck.

  “Well, let’s give it another try.” Annie started to rise, holding the baby, and he caught her elbow to help her up. The yellow sweater was as soft as it looked, and her hair swung against his arm like dark silk.

  Okay, he definitely shouldn’t be thinking things like that about Annie. He shouldn’t be thinking about Annie at all. This was a business partnership. He took care of the construction company, and she took care of the baby. They would be safer if they didn’t mix the two.

  He let her go, and she took a step away, then looked at him questioningly.

  “Aren’t you coming up with us?”

  “You’ll do better without me. I’ve got work to do. I have a company to run, remember?”

  Annie’s mouth seemed to tighten, as if he’d said the wrong thing.

  “Just don’t forget that we have a meeting with the social worker tomorrow.” She turned toward the stairs.

  They’ll take you away and put you in a home. He hadn’t heard his mother’s voice in years, but now it echoed in his head.

  “Is it really that important for me to be here? Doesn’t she just have to check out the house?”

  Annie spun around, dark hair swinging against her cheeks. Marcy was already asleep on her shoulder.

  “Of course it’s important.” Her voice was as sharp as he’d ever heard it. “That’s the whole point, remember? We have to convince her that we’re a family, that we can make a home for Marcy.”

  They’ll take you away—

  He clamped the door shut on that memory, but it kept sliding through the cracks. How did someone who’d never known a home figure out how to create one? He could build a house, but that wasn’t the same thing.

  Still, he didn’t have a choice about this, and he knew it. Davis had trusted him. Annie was counting on him.

  “Right.” He took a breath, pasted a smile on his face. “I’ll be here.”

  “Oh, Marcy, don’t do that.” Annie raced across the family room. While she’d been in the kitchen, dithering about whether or not she should offer coffee to the social worker, Marcy had been quietly pulling all the video tapes out of their cases.

&nbs
p; “Here, honey, play with your nice teddy.”

  Marcy threw the teddy bear across the floor and dived toward the videotapes again as the door swung open. Annie’s heart nearly stopped, until she realized it was Link.

  “Planning a video show?” He dropped his jacket on the nearest chair.

  Annie scooped up the baby and handed her to Link. “Please, take her. And hang up your jacket. We’ve got to have things cleaned up by the time that woman gets here.”

  His eyebrows rose at her tone, but he took Marcy and picked up his jacket again.

  She shouldn’t be taking her tension out on him, but she’d been worried, ever since his comment the previous night, that he wouldn’t show up on time.

  “It’ll be okay.” He came back from the closet, lifting Marcy to his shoulders. “I’m sure she doesn’t expect a house with a baby to be spotless all the time.” He sounded as if he was trying to convince himself.

  “I wish I believed that.” She shoved the last videotape into place and glanced around the kitchen and family room, hands on her hips. “Since we spend most of our time in here, I thought we’d talk here instead of the living room. Should I offer her coffee? Does that pine air freshener smell all right, or did I overdo it?”

  “I think you should calm down.” He plopped Marcy into her toy car and steered her across the family room, making her laugh. “It’s going to be okay.”

  Usually Marcy’s laugh made him smile. At the moment, his mouth was tight. In spite of his words, he looked as nervous about this visit as she felt, maybe more so.

  “Right.” She took a deep breath and sent up a silent prayer for guidance. “We’ll be okay.”

  The doorbell rang as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Her stomach seemed to turn over, and Link stiffened.

  Okay, she thought. Oh, Becca, I wish you were here.

  She opened the door. “Please, won’t you come in?”

  The woman—Mrs. Enid Bradshaw—looked as if she were in her mid-fifties, pleasant and grandmotherly until you noticed how shrewd her blue eyes were behind her gold-rimmed glasses.