by S. Nelson
I wanted to say all of that to her, but I didn’t. Pulling back from her mouth, I said, “I’m fine. Just worried about how you’re feeling.”
Her face relaxed a little, short pants of air hitting my face while she tried to calm down from our kiss. “I’ll be okay. Really. I’ve been through worse.” She cringed at her own words, which in turn made me stiffen.
A few precious moments passed while be both studied each other. I knew what was rumbling around inside my head, but I had no idea what she was thinking. I knew she cared for me, deeply even, but she’d never really told me how she felt, only ever giving me whatever I craved, whenever I was craving it. Her. Always her. And she gave herself to me freely, each and every time since I’d officially claimed her as my own.
“Are you tired?” I asked, watching her face carefully.
“I think so. Yes.” Her fingers danced over her shirt, mindlessly playing with the part of her that was bandaged. She’d needed twenty-five stitches to close the wound. While that was bad enough, it could have been worse, I supposed.
“Okay,” I said, pulling her to her feet very gently. “Let me change your bandage and we’ll go to bed.”
“That’s okay. I can do it. You’ve done so much for me already.” For some reason, she looked down at her feet when she spoke.
“Look at me,” I instructed, tilting her chin up with my finger so I could see her face. “I want to do everything for you. Please don’t take that away from me.” I sound pussy whipped for sure. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
She remained quiet.
“Okay?” I asked, my brow arched in question.
“Okay,” she whispered, before leading me to our bedroom.
Once I helped her undress, a task which was painful for me because I hadn’t been able to sink inside her in weeks, I crawled into bed next to her, careful not to push against her side. I was overly cautious around her recently and I knew it drove her nuts, but the last thing I wanted to do was cause her any kind of discomfort.
“I won’t break, Cole,” she mumbled when she saw the reservation on my face while I held myself back.
“I know. I just . . . I don’t want to hurt you. Not after everything you’ve been through.” I tried to smile but I failed. Again.
I was painfully hard as it was, and her writhing under the covers, even though it was simply to get better situated, was driving me insane. I couldn’t help it. I felt like some kind of creeper the way my eyes roamed over her entire body, heat exploding in my veins at the very thought of how she felt underneath me. Over me. Next to me.
Thrusting inside her tightness, tasting her essence and exploding together had become my new favorite things in the world.
“If you keep looking at me like that, I’m gonna be forced to jump you. And since I can’t put that kind of pressure on my body yet, it would be wise for you to stop.” There was a playfulness to her tone, although I knew she was being serious.
Apparently, I was torturing her as well as myself.
“Sorry,” I said, lying on my back and staring at the ceiling. The light next to her was still on, and it didn’t take her long to ask me to lean over and shut it off. Carefully, I moved over her body and stretched for the lamp, my chest brushing against hers as I did so.
A soft groan fell from her lips. Shit! I hadn’t meant to touch her afflicted area, but I was too big not to. “Sorry,” I repeated, that time for a different reason. Before I pulled away, she put her hand on my upper arm and squeezed. While I remained frozen in place, she moved her legs apart, kicking one over mine so quick I was surprised she had the strength.
“What are you doing?”
“I said I can’t jump you. That doesn’t mean you can’t jump me.” A sexy smile appeared on her face, her tongue parting her mouth and licking her lips while what she’d just said registered.
“I don’t want to hurt you, though.”
“You won’t,” she assured me, spreading her legs wider. “Just be gentle,” she urged, her night shirt riding up her body until I could see her pink lace panties.
Fuck! She was so beautiful. I should have declined. I should have lain back down and fallen asleep, allowing her more time to heal.
But I was greedy.
And I needed my fix.
Hovering until my body was completely covering hers, I grinned wickedly before taking her mouth, her sweet tongue unraveling the last of my restraint.
“The way I’m feeling right now, I can’t be gentle. So I think it’s best if we just go to sleep.”
I thought I’d had my say, kissing her one last time and trying to remove my body from hers. But a firm grip on the back of my neck halted me. Her foot caressed the back of my thigh, digging in when she thought I was going to retreat.
“Then I challenge you to take me slow. And gentle. I want you to draw out my release. Make me lose my mind, Cole,” she pleaded. To say I was stunned was an understatement. I was usually the one who talked during sex, telling her over and over how good she felt, her moans affirmation she loved the way I fucked her. But in all the times we’d had sex—and there were numerous occasions during the short time we’d known each other—she’d never openly expressed herself as much.
Never mind that she’d just challenged me. It’d been a long time since anyone had challenged me to do anything. How did she know I could never turn down such a thing?
“You dare me, do you?” I asked, amusement dripping from my tone.
“I do,” she answered, both of her legs pinning me in place. Our lower bodies were still covered by thin material, hers by a flimsy scrap of pink lace, and mine by the fabric of my boxer briefs.
Reaching behind me to unlock her legs, I backed up until I could grab her panties, drawing them down her thighs and discarding them somewhere behind me. When I made a move to lie back on top of her, she stopped me with a confused look on her face.
“What?”
“Aren’t you going to take yours off too?” she asked, pouting that I wasn’t already completely naked.
“Don’t worry about me, sweetheart. You’ll feel me. Trust me.” I moved to cover her once more but she stopped me. Again.
“Cole, I want you naked. I want to feel every part of your body on mine. I don’t want a piece of clothing in the way.” My woman sure was feisty, and I found I absolutely loved it.
Without another word, I quickly peeled off my boxer briefs before lying over her one more time. “Better?”
“Better,” she responded, closing her legs tightly against my waist. “Much better.”
Resting on my forearms, I captured her mouth, simultaneously running a finger through her swollen folds to make sure she was ready for me. It took me only seconds to find out she was indeed primed to go.
I lined myself up and gently pushed inside her, as slowly as I could manage. Her breath caught in her throat, the look on her face one of pure lust. While I wanted to quickly sheath myself, I made sure to adhere to her challenge. If she wanted it slow, I would give her what she craved.
Thrusting in a few more inches, I stopped to seize her hip, my fingers digging into her soft skin while I withdrew until only the tip of my cock remained inside. I felt her frustration when she ran her nails down my back, the slight sting of pain affirming I was driving her insane. Little did she know she was affecting me the same way. The softness and warmth of her body was pure torment. Pleasure spiraled through me when I pushed back inside, her tightness clenching around me until I thought I was gonna explode.
“You like that?” I rasped, barely able to hold onto the sliver of control still in my grasp. “How do I feel?” Sucking her bottom lip into my mouth, I swirled my tongue with hers before she could answer. I thrust in further, faster than I’d intended. “I could fuck you forever,” I growled, dangerously close to throwing caution to the wind and taking her rough and hard. Thankfully, I didn’t allow my baser instincts to take over because I would have surely hurt her. But gone was the need to prove a point, her dar
e flying right out the window as I forged ahead and rocked my body into hers.
My hand moved from her hip to her tit to roughly pinch her nipple, a satisfied moan falling from her gorgeous mouth as soon as my fingers released her. My lips closed around the puckered area, my teeth gently biting her before withdrawing. I knew what she liked, and it was my goal to make sure my wife was completely satisfied.
“Cole!” she cried out, her fingers gripping my hair tighter the more our bodies moved as one. Her eyes fixated on mine, her teeth capturing her bottom lip when she couldn’t take it any longer. I knew she was close, could feel it in the way her muscles clamped down on me. We’d only known each other a short while, but I knew her body inside and out, and I knew when she was ready to lose herself into oblivion.
“Do you love how I fuck you?”
“Yes,” she moaned.
“You like how my cock fills up that tight pussy?” I breathed hard.
“Yes.”
“Fuuucccckkkk! I’m not gonna last long. I need you to let go. I need you to come all over me, Sully,” I demanded with ragged breaths. I swallowed her screams as she gave in, her body locking down tight underneath me. She threw her head back and broke our kiss, her moans filling the air around us. She was so incredibly sexy like this, lost to what her body needed.
I couldn’t take any more torture. Wanting to draw out my pleasure simply wasn’t a reality. Our harsh panting melded together, our bodies as one driving us both toward the edge of insanity. I captured her mouth, our kiss hard and unforgiving. When I felt her teeth pierce my lower lip in urgency, I simply lost it. I slammed into her over and over again until I felt the pull of bliss rock through me.
Grunting out my own pleasure, I filled her with my release, and it took everything in me not to collapse on top of her. I was spent, fully sated, but I remained mindful of her condition.
When I stopped twitching inside her, I withdrew from her body and fell onto my back, my arm quickly searching for her to pull her closer. Once her head rested over my heart, I breathed easily, counting my heartbeats because I knew every one of them belonged to her.
“I love you,” I whispered. My resolve had snapped, but I wouldn’t take back the words for anything. Busting inside with the overwhelming feelings, a first for me, I just had to let her know how I felt. I’d almost lost her once without her knowing. I wouldn’t make that same mistake again.
No more holding back.
Instead of feeling her relax against me, she stiffened, rolling over on her back quicker than I could stop her. Did she not feel the same way? Had I made a mistake by telling her? Instead of regret washing over me, waves of anger at her blatant denial forced me to say something I should have kept quiet.
I felt vulnerable right then, and when I felt out of my element, I lashed out.
“What’s wrong with you?” I practically shouted. “Can you only love someone who beats the shit out of you?” Dick move, but what could I say? I hated feeling cast aside. I sat up in bed, throwing my legs over the side and giving her my back. I regretted the words as soon as they’d left my lips, which I knew would happen the second she moved away from me, but I couldn’t help myself.
Silence tortured me, so many thoughts and regrets running through my brain. I screamed at her in my head to say something. Anything. Finish her rejection of my words if that’s what it came down to, but make a fuckin’ move.
She rose from the bed and walked toward the door, dragging the sheet to wrap around her. Jumping up to stop her, I gripped her arms and shook her. Not hard, but enough to garner her attention. There was no way I was letting her leave me right then, not without some kind of explanation.
“Answer me,” I growled, my anger still simmering from her refusal. Instead of telling me I’d hit the nail on the head, she started shaking, lowering her head until I could no longer see her face. She kept sniffing, and I knew right then she was crying, trying to hide her emotions from me. Was my declaration so unwanted I’d upset her to the point of tears?
Just when I thought she would remain close-lipped, she spoke. “Why are you lying to me?” She kept her head down while her body continued to shake, her long hair shielding her from me.
My grip on her arms tightened, although I was far from hurting her. “Sully,” I called, but still she didn’t look up at me. I tried once more. “Sully, let me see your face. I won’t ask you again.” She shook her head, refusing me.
Quickly walking her backward, she hit the wall with enough force to snap her out of whatever she’d just lost herself to. Conscious of her bandaged area, I took care not to jostle her any more, just enough to pull her focus back to me.
“Why do you think I lied to you?” I asked, pure confusion muddling my overactive thoughts.
She drew a quick breath before answering. “Because no one has ever told me they loved me before. Not even my father.” Imploring me with her eyes, she continued spewing garbage from her mouth. “I’m disgusting. I’m riddled with scars and marks. I know you’re trying your best to be nice to me because you pity me, but you don’t love me. So please don’t torment me with such words.”
My heart broke because I knew she truly believed everything she’d said, her self-image more damaged than I could have ever imagined. If there were any possible way for me to go back in time and snatch her from her club years ago, I would have done it. It was unreasonable, but I felt responsible for her, even before I knew her.
Yeah, how fucked-up was that line of thinking?
Holding her face so she had no choice but to continue to look at me, I poured out my feelings for her. Again. Only this time, I hoped she didn’t reject me, instead choosing to believe me and accept my words as the truth.
“I do love you. That is the God’s honest truth. You might not believe me now, but in time you will. I can’t promise I won’t say something that might hurt your feelings, or do something which would make you question my loyalty to you, but at the end of the day, you are the woman I want to spend my life with. I will never physically hurt you, but the heart is another matter altogether.”
I knew I was about to touch on a subject I barely even gave thought to, much less voiced, simply because it was still too painful, but it was the perfect time to bring it up. “I’d seen the way my parents were toward each other and, while they loved each other deeply, jealousy ran rampant between the both of them. They would sometimes say things they would instantly regret, but their love was what got them through, the glue that held them together until. . . .” I stopped speaking, suddenly questioning whether or not I wished to delve into that part of my life. I thought I wanted to, but saying the words out loud was a completely different story.
With everything I’d just spoken, the part she chose to hang on to and question was the part about my parents. Maybe it was easier for her to digest than the feelings I harbored for her. In time, maybe she would come to believe me.
“What happened to your parents?” she asked. “Are they still alive?” She held her breath while she waited for me to speak again.
“They’re both dead.” The words cut me, even though I’d come to grips with their death. Reaching for her hand, I pulled her back to the bed and sat her on the edge, taking the seat right next to her. I wanted to get this over with, and then hopefully she’d allow me to lose myself in her for the rest of the day.
“Can you tell me what happened? Do you want to talk about it?” How the hell had our conversation started off with my telling her I loved her, to her rejecting my affections and calling me a liar, to talking about my deceased parents? Funny how life works, switching from one thing to the next in mere seconds. Sometimes without any warning whatsoever.
“My mom passed away in her sleep six years ago. The doctors said it was a brain aneurism.” My eyes became glassy at the memory of her, but I pushed the thoughts aside. No time to dwell on that now.
“And your father? What happened to him?”
“Three years ago, my father and his VP, Stone
’s father, went on a run. Everything was going according to plan until the Savage Reapers interfered. Long story short, both my father and Stone’s were killed during the battle. Hence one of the many reasons we’re at war with those bastards.”
It had always been difficult for me to discuss my father, mainly because I missed him immensely. Plus it was too much of a drain that evening, having other issues which required my attention.
Sully’s body shook. “I’m so sorry,” she cried. Yeah, me too.
After some time had passed, we were back in bed, lying next to one another in complete silence. I’d revealed a lot of things and it was best I let it sink in, giving her time to come to grips with the revelation of my feelings for her as well as the background as to why it was my ultimate goal to destroy the Savage Reapers.
“Cole,” Sully whispered, breaking the silence of the room.
“Yeah,” I answered, shifting over on my side so I faced her. Trailing a finger along her belly, I enjoyed the moment until she decided to continue.
“I told you I hated Vex, and I do. Well . . . I did, when he was alive. But there was a time when I told him I loved him. Once. I thought if he heard the words, he would have a change of heart and start treating me better. But the only thing my words got me was a black eye.” Her body shook under my touch. “He told me I was trying to trick him, and if I ever told him that again he would kill me.”
She turned on her side so we were staring at each other, her warm palm resting on my bearded cheek. “So you can see why I reacted the way I did when you told me you loved me. Rejection was all I’d ever known, but I see now with you it’s different. While it might take me some time yet, for it to fully sink in, I do believe you love me.” A lone tear trickled down her cheek, her eyes so full of acceptance, but there was a trace of fear still wedged beneath her stare. “As I love you.”
