by Shayna Ryan
“Ah, yeah, I did.” He fervently hoped she wouldn’t ask too many questions about the night before. “I was kind of hoping you’d be there,” he added.
“No, I went out with the girls. One of my friends is getting married soon, so we did kind of a bachelorette party last night, just the bridesmaids. I’m a bridesmaid, so…”
As Cass prattled on about her friend’s upcoming wedding, Billy’s stomach twisted in knots with anxiety. He was disgusted with himself. He let a teenage fantasy of being with Melanie almost ruin his chances with Cass, and for nothing. At least Cass was straightforward about her feelings and desires. That woman knew exactly what she wanted and she wasn’t afraid to let it be known. He was ashamed that he couldn’t say the same thing about himself. Maybe he and Melanie deserved each other after all; they were both emotional wrecks, unable to decide who they wanted to be with.
“…and I’ll be gone that week.”
“I’m sorry?” He hadn’t been listening closely.
“So the wedding’s in Connecticut, and I’m flying out there to spend the week before it with the bride.”
“When’s that?”
“In three weeks, silly, weren’t you listening?” she teased.
“Sorry. This hangover is wicked.”
“Care for some company?”
“I’m not much company myself, right now,” he reminded her.
“Well, I’ll leave my sex swing at home then, okay?” Her raunchy joke made him smile. “I’ll bring a DVD and some homemade soup instead. You’re in luck; I made a batch earlier for Melanie, and there’s plenty to go around. I’ll be over in, say, half an hour?”
“Sounds great.” As awful as he felt, he wouldn’t mind her company.
After he hung up, he rolled over in bed and panicked when he smelled Melanie’s scent still on his sheets. He couldn’t have Cass noticing that, so he forced himself to strip off the sheets and replace it with a fresh set. Melanie’s note had fallen to the floor, and he burned it in the woodstove. Satisfied he had erased all signs of the previous night’s activities, he took a quick shower and brushed his teeth. He still felt horrible, but at least he was clean.
Cass knocked on the door just as he was trudging back to his bed.
“C’mon in!” he called. The front door felt too far away at the moment. His exertions in the last half hour had drained what little energy he had, but at least the aspirin had kicked in. His headache was down to a minor throb instead of a hammering pain.
“Hey,” Cass breezed in like she owned the place. “Soup’s on! Let me just zap it in the microwave to heat it up a bit.” As she prepared his soup in the kitchen, Billy watched her from the spot on his bed with great relief. Melanie was right- last night had been a mistake, and she did him a favor by labeling it as such. Now that Cass was here, he couldn’t imagine tossing her to the side for a chance with Melanie. It was too late for them, but not for him and Cass.
“What movie did you bring?”
“Well, I brought an assortment, actually.” She dug into her bag and produced a handful of DVDs. “We’ve got zombies, a classless comedy, a thriller, and a spy movie.” She held them out up one at a time so he could see the cases. “I skipped the romantic comedy I’ve been dying to see- you’re welcome,” she added with a wink. “But you owe me one next time.” The microwaved beeped to signify the soup was ready, and she brought it to the table for him. Billy knew it would have been appetizing on any other day, but the smell of it did his stomach no favors at the current moment.
“I’m sure it’s great, but I’m not sure I can eat right now,” he told her apologetically.
She dismissed it with a wave of her hand. “No problem. I can heat you some up later if you change your mind.” She sat on the bed next to him and leaned closer, like she was about to let him in on a big secret. “Melanie had some this morning, but she couldn’t keep it down, so I get it. It’s actually good, but you drunks don’t seem to think so.”
“This drunk promises to try it later,” he promised. He was surprised to hear Melanie was so sick. He remembered her drinking some whiskey with him last night, but it didn’t seem like enough to make her so sick. Then again, he had no idea how much she had to drink at the cookout beforehand. A sharp flare of emotional pain stabbed through him as he wondered if she had only seduced him because she was drunk. Looking back on the evening, that must have been it. Melanie didn’t seem the type of girl bold enough to show up on a man’s doorstep in nothing but a leather duster and a pair of cowgirl boots. Perhaps he wasn’t the only one who had overindulged in the spirits the night before.
“So which movie do you want to watch?”
“Hmm. I’m not sure I’m up for zombie gore right now, so how about the comedy?”
“You got it.” Cass popped the DVD into the player on his dresser and turned on his little TV. Once it was set up and running, she snuggled next to him on the bed. Billy moved to prop himself up to watch the movie and wrap his arm around her, and she laid her head on his chest.
“You look good today,” he murmured. The compliment seemed to embarrass Cass.
“Liar.”
“I mean it, you really do.” Her hair was in a messy pile on top of her head, and she wore minimal makeup and an oversized, baggy top. It was a far cry from her sexy, made up look on their date, but she still looked amazing to him.
“The movie’s starting,” she shushed him.
Billy tried not to think of sweet Melanie and the things they did on his bed just hours before as he held Cass close and tried to watch the movie. There was no use in fixating on what never should have happened in the first place.
By the time Cass left early Sunday evening, Billy was feeling better, both physically and mentally. Maybe his tryst with Melanie the night before meant that they had each other out of their systems now, and life could go on without the strain between them, once they got over the initial awkwardness of the situation.
Cass gave him her cell phone number, so now he could contact her whenever he liked without having to call or stop by the Haffner house.
“Hey,” Billy stopped her as she headed out the door. “I owe you a movie, your pick next time. How about Friday night?”
“It’s a date then.” Cass blew him a kiss and headed home.
-9-
Billy threw himself into his work the following week. His heart pounded in anticipation every time he went to the barn. He hoped to run into Cass, and dreaded running into Melanie. Marty seemed none the wiser about the events that transpired between them on Saturday night, and Billy worried about it less and less as the week wore on. The few times he passed Melanie while out and about on the ranch, she gave him an awkward wave, and he returned it. She made no attempt to speak to him, much to his relief. It appeared they were both trying to move on and put their night together behind them like it had never happened.
He concentrated on Cass instead. On Monday evening he had two dozen roses delivered to her, with a note thanking her for Sunday. He wasn’t too surprised when she called him a few hours later.
“Thank you for the roses, Billy; they’re lovely!” He could hear the excitement in her voice, and he was proud to have made her so happy.
“I just thought a beautiful girl deserved some beautiful flowers.” It was rare for him to send flowers to a lady, but Cass was a special woman and found he wanted to spoil her a bit. They chatted about their days, and as he listened to her voice, he yearned to see her again.
“You want to come over?” he asked her hopefully.
Cass sighed. “I’d love to, but I can’t. Melanie’s is a horrible mood, and my mom’s asked me to stick around to hang out with her tonight. Maybe I can cheer her up or something. I don’t know what her problem is; she’s been acting nasty to all of us since this weekend. It’s like her hangover’s lingered and turned her into this snappy hot mess. How about tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow, then. I’ll make you dinner. How’s that sound?”
�
�Dinner, huh?” Cass laughed. “How could I say no to that?”
She arrived for dinner right on time the next night, and Billy swept her into his arms and kissed her passionately when she arrived.
“What was that for?” she asked breathlessly.
“Just making up for lost time on Sunday,” he teased.
“You’re horrible!” She was visibly pleased by his attention despite her mock protests.
Dinner was a casual affair, and afterwards they drove to the barn and took their horses out for a quick ride before the sun disappeared for the day. When it came time to say goodnight, they shared a long, hot and heavy kiss, but neither pushed for more. Cass had adjusted to the idea of not sleeping together right away, and Billy was enjoying pursuing her like a gentleman. Their time would come, and he looked forward to it, but what they shared right now was enough for the time being.
They fell into a comfortable routine together over the next few weeks. They spent both weekend nights together, either going into town for their entertainment, or sometimes just hanging out at Billy’s. Cass would also join him for dinner two or three other nights a week. She tossed out hints about sleeping together, but didn’t take it personally when Billy gently deflected them. He cursed his night with Melanie once again; he suspected his guilt over it was holding him back from sleeping with Cass. He had already made a grievous mistake with one sister, and he didn’t want to repeat it with the other.
He ran into Melanie occasionally, usually when he was working with Marty. She was polite but distant, and his heart hurt over losing her not only as a lover, but as a friend. It felt like they were strangers to each other now, and Billy hadn’t adjusted to that fact yet. He recognized it was probably for the best, but that didn’t stop the pang of regret deep inside that renewed every time he had a brief interaction with her.
When the time arrived for Cass to go out of town to participate in her friend’s wedding, Billy was sorry to see her go. It would be a quiet week for him without her around. She was swiftly becoming a big part of his life. As he drove her to the airport a few hours away and kissed her goodbye, he felt as if he were letting a little piece of himself go.
“Hurry back,” he breathed in her ear as he held her close.
“You bet I will.” Affection shone in her eyes as she untangled from his embrace and hurried off to join her girlfriends who were already making their way through the security check point. Billy watched her until she disappeared out of sight once she passed through security.
On the long ride home, he made a decision. Cass would be back next Saturday, and he would make that night one she would never forget. They had waited long enough to give themselves to each other, and it was high time they rectified that. He was amazed that they had held out this long. He didn’t know what he was waiting for anymore. His very brief fling with Melanie was clearly over, and Cass was the one for him. He shocked himself by wondering, just for one quick second, how long he should wait to propose to her. He had never considered marrying anyone other than Melanie. The thought of being in love with anyone besides her was new and unsettling to him.
Thoughts of marriage weren’t the only thing to surprise him that day. As he arrived back as his cabin around dusk, he realized with a start that Melanie was sitting on his front steps, waiting for him. He tried to maintain a neutral expression as he climbed out of his truck and headed for the steps where she sat. As much as he loved Melanie, he wasn’t happy to see her. He wanted no part of a fling with her again. She had chosen Marty, and that was that. If she wanted to change her mind, it was too late. Cass was his girl now.
“Melanie?” He stood in front of her, with his arms folded defensively across his chest. Just seeing her on his doorstep made him incredibly tense. He had no intentions of inviting her in. It wasn’t his style to be rude, but if they stayed outside, they could be sure nothing would happen between them.
“Billy.” She raised her eyes to meet his and even in the rapidly diminishing light he could tell she had been crying.
“Look, I don’t care if you and Marty broke up, I-”
“I’m late,” she said softly.
He grabbed the hand rail to steady himself as her words registered in his brain. “Didn’t we use a condom?” he asked quietly. He had been too drunk to even think of it when they made love, and he just assumed she had provided one.
“Can we talk about this inside?” Billy nodded and held out a hand to help her to her feet. With trembling hands, he unlocked his door and held it open for Melanie, who walked in and sat on his bed. He followed her and sat at the table.
“So you’re late. Have you taken a pregnancy test yet?” Melanie nodded and pulled a zip-lock bag out of her purse. Billy didn’t need to see it for confirmation. He let out a slow, level breath. “Okay. So you’re pregnant, and it’s mine, or Marty’s.”
“It can’t be Marty’s baby.” She shook her head adamantly. “It’s yours, Billy.”
“How can you be so sure? I mean, even if you and Marty haven’t had sex in a while, can’t the timing of this stuff be a bit unpredictable?” He was fighting to keep his cool about this. A baby with Melanie would spoil everything he had with Cass, but he stayed calm for Melanie’s sake.
“Marty and I don’t sleep together,” she confessed. Billy raised his eyebrows in surprise. “He’s divorced, and after that he decided he was saving himself for his next wife.”
“Marty’s a born-again virgin?” he snorted derisively.
“It’s not funny!”
“Sorry, you’re right; it’s not funny. But you two have seriously never…”
“Never. And that’s how I can be sure this baby is yours.” Her green eyes met his, and he saw a hint of defiance there. She was silently challenging him to refute it.
“I believe you.” And he did. It was heartbreaking, really. Just a few months ago he would have given anything to have Melanie carry his child, but now it was somber news, instead of joyous.
“So what do you want to do about it?” he asked her quietly. He had his own opinions on the matter, but he couldn’t tell her what to do with her own body.
“Well, I’m not having an abortion, if that’s what you’re hinting at!” she snapped, her eyes blazing. Billy tried to reassure her but she kept right on talking. “I’m going to have and raise this baby, by myself, if I have to. I’m sure my parents will help me out. No worries, Billy, we won’t be a burden to you and Cass!”
“Melanie, don’t be like that.”
“Like what? Don’t tell you that you’re off the hook? I know neither of us planned for this to happen, Billy. You’re the father, so you can just walk away if you want to. Not me, though. I won’t kill my unborn baby or give away my child, planned or not!”
He rose from the table and sat next to her as she began to cry again. He rubbed her back gently in an attempt to soothe her. “No, we didn’t plan this, but it’s all right. We’ll figure it out.” He was petrified of becoming a father so soon, and even more terrified of losing Cass. But what options were there, really? If he was going to accidentally get a woman pregnant, at least it was Melanie. It was easier to do the right thing when he was already in love with the mother. But what about the other woman in his life?
His mind was racing, but he knew what he had to do. “Listen, it’s going to be okay.” He kissed her forehead and smoothed back her hair. “I can get my old job back, and if it’s been filled I’m sure they’ll find something else for me to do on their ranch. We can move there, and raise our child together, as a family.”
“You want this baby?” Melanie sniffled through her tears.
“I’m excited about it,” he told her gently. Excited was a bit of a stretch, but he wanted to calm her down. It couldn’t be good for her to be so distressed while she was pregnant.
“So you want to move, and live as a family?” Her eyes grew wide as she considered it.
“I want to marry you,” he told her confidently. He prayed she couldn’t see in his
eyes the turmoil he felt. He had always dreamed of telling her that, but now that he could, he didn’t want to. It was for all the wrong reasons and he knew it. But he still had hope that it could work for them. They could be good together, wrong reasons or not. And soon they’d have a child together.
“What about Cass?” Melanie asked cautiously.
He knew it was important to choose his words carefully. “I’ll handle her, don’t worry about it. She’s a terrific girl, but our family is more important to me than Cass.” He could barely spit the words out, and it suddenly dawned on him that he was in love with Cass. The thought of leaving her was almost unbearable, but he had his child to think about now, and Cass wouldn’t want to be with him once she knew he had gotten her sister pregnant. “What about Marty? Does he know?”
She shook her head. “No, I just found out this morning. I wanted to talk to you first. I’ll have to break up with him soon.”
Billy sighed, and a tense quiet filled the cabin. “Look,” he began finally, “let’s not jump the gun here. I’ll make some phone calls this week to see what kind of work I can arrange elsewhere. Marty is my boss; I don’t want this to come out quite yet. Give me a few weeks to make the arrangements, then I’ll give your father my notice, and we’ll tell Marty, and Cass. Does that sound about right to you?”
She nodded through her tears and managed a small smile for him. “Okay. We don’t have a lot of time before I start to show, probably only a few months, but I agree we shouldn’t tell everyone until we know we’re set to move.”
“You really want to move?” he asked her gently. It made the most sense to him, but this had been her home for her whole life. It wouldn’t be easy for her to leave, but he didn’t see how they could stay, with Cass and Marty around. They would be a constant stress, reminders of the upheaval this unexpected baby had caused. It wouldn’t be fair to any of them.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She burst out laughing at her own indecision and wiped her tears away with the back of her wrist. “I mean, I hadn’t thought about it, really. But you’re right; I don’t see how we could stay, with Marty and Cass here. It would be unbearably uncomfortable for everyone. I don’t want to do that to them- or us.”
