I Had to Let You Go

by Emma Quinn

  “Mila!”

  Vincent ran to her side and tried to hold her up, but too weak from blood loss, she collapsed to her knees as her eyes rolled back in her head. She fell backward, collapsing into the puddle of her own blood.

  “She's dead!” cried Vincent. “Oh, God she's fucking dead!”

  In the distance, the wail of sirens echoed throughout the docks. A clatter sounded from the front of the building as the iron door was ripped open.

  “FBI!” a gruff male voice shouted through the darkness. “Nobody move!”

  27

  Sophia

  I

  stood at the bottom of the hospital bed and looked down at Luca's tiny body. Leaning down, I placed my hand on his foot and squeezed it. He looked so tiny lying there, so fragile and vulnerable. But the worst thing was the silence.

  Just say something, I thought. Wake up so I can hear that laugh of yours.

  “It looks worse than it is,” said the nurse at his side as she checked his pulse. “His blood test showed there was nothing but the sleeping pills in his system. He'll be okay as soon as he wakes up.”

  “Are you sure? He looks so... out of it.”

  She filled out his chart, slipped it back into the folder and patted me gently on the arm.

  “I'm sure. He'll be up and causing trouble in no time at all.”

  I tried my hardest to believe her, but I couldn't help but worry. What if there were complications? What if he never woke up?

  Behind us, the door clicked open and in walked Ethan with two steaming coffees in his hands.

  “The Americanos are supposed to be terrible,” he said, handing me one. “But caffeine is caffeine, right?”

  The nurse gave us both a polite smile and made for the door.

  “Call if you need anything,” she said before disappearing out into the hall.

  “What did she say?” asked Ethan, watching her leave.

  “That Luca's gonna be fine as soon as he wakes up, but I can't help but think it's more serious than it is.”

  “You're his mother. It's your job to worry, but you gotta trust what the doctors and nurses say. If they say Luca will be fine then he will.”

  He reached over and touched Luca's hand. It looked so tiny in his.

  “He must have been terrified,” I said. “What must he have been thinking?”

  “He's a tough kid,” Ethan assured me. “Something tells me he'll get through this okay.”

  “You think?”

  “Definitely,” he replied, squeezing Luca's hand. “I really do think so.”

  Walking over to the window, I sat on the ledge and looked outside. The sun was shining like it had every day since I'd arrived in LA. But my mood was less than sunny.

  “I'm so sorry about Mila,” I said, looking out at the fluffy white clouds. “I know things were terrible between you but still...”

  He was quiet for a while, staring into Luca's face.

  “I hated her,” he eventually said. “But fuck, I mean I never would have wanted her to... die... And her getting mixed up in all this? Joining forces with Vincent? What a clusterfuck!”

  Setting my coffee down, I walked over to him and lay a hand on his shoulder. For the first time, the three of us were an official family. It had been what I'd secretly wanted for years. But there was no happiness in the moment. Only a deep sadness mingled with anger.

  “Anyway, Vincent will never see the light of day again, and his meathead bodyguard? He's destined for the fucking electric chair.”

  He dragged both his hands down his face with exhaustion and took a deep breath.

  “I'm so sorry. I can't help but feel like this is all my fault,” he said.

  “How can you say that? None of this was your fault. It was all Mila and Vincent.”

  “I know but I can't help but think that if things worked out differently. I don't know. My thoughts are all a mess right now. I can't process it all. It's too much.”

  Pulling him into a hug, I stroked my fingers over the top of his head.

  “You were going to hand over twenty million dollars to get Luca back,” I reminded him. “All you wanted to do was save him. You didn't do a single thing wrong.”

  Twenty million dollars. I still couldn't wrap my head around how much money that was. I'd never seen that much in my whole life, but Ethan was prepared to hand it over as though it was nothing.

  “Twenty million dollars is a small price to pay to get my son back,” he said. “I'd have given over everything I had to make sure he was safe.”

  We both looked down at Luca. He was such a perfect boy. He looked like a little doll lying there in his bed.

  “Christ I can't stand seeing him like this,” I said, looking away.

  “He'll be okay. Try to relax.”

  But how was I supposed to do that? I was on the cusp of collapsing into tears again when someone knocked on the door.

  Gary stood unusually timid in the doorway.

  “Mind if I come in?” he asked.

  “Of course.”

  “I don't have to if you want some alone time together.”

  “Dude just come in,” urged Ethan. “Seriously. Get in here.”

  Gary entered and threw his arms around Ethan. In his hands were two shopping bags from a store. One stuffed with candy, the other with toys.

  “What's all this?” I asked.

  “Thought I'd get something to cheer up Luca. It was the least I could do.”

  “You shouldn't have,” I said. “You've done so much for him already. Tracing the phone number, using your contacts to get the FBI there as soon as possible... We couldn't have saved Luca if it wasn't for you.”

  “I did nothing special,” he replied with a wink. “Just as long as the little one's gonna be okay.”

  He looked down at the bed and worry flashed across his eyes.

  “He is going to be okay, isn't he?”

  We both nodded at him hopefully.

  Suddenly, a small crumpling sound came from the bed and to my surprise, I saw Luca's tiny hand bunch up the bed sheets. Gradually, he started to wake up as though he was coming out of a bad dream. Then at last he opened his eyes and fixed them on me.

  “Mom?”

  “Luca! You okay, honey!”

  I clapped my hands on his face and kissed him over and over again.

  “Oh, God I was so worried. I love you so much, sweetheart.”

  “Mom! I had the scariest dream. I dreamed that I was being chased by a giant plesiopotamous!”

  I couldn't help but laugh and kiss his cheek one more time.

  “Luca, honey. You don't have to worry about a thing. The monsters can't get you. Your mommy and daddy are here.”

  “How did he take the news?” asked Ethan.

  “Which news? That he was kidnapped and drugged by a failing celebrity actor or that a current celebrity actor is his father?”

  “Both.”

  “Actually he took the news rather well. Seems to think the whole thing's been quite an adventure. As for you being his father? He couldn't be happier.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep. He's delighted.”

  With Luca getting some final additional tests, the doctor had urged us to get a breath of fresh air. We'd stepped out into the hospital grounds where a small garden had been planted. It was supposed to be an oasis of calm for patients' visitors, but by the looks of it, it was more like an unofficial smokers' spot.

  “Ethan... I'm so sorry I never told you about Luca. But I genuinely thought you wanted nothing to do with me. So I didn't think you'd want anything to do with him either.”

  “Sophia if you had told me I would have been there for him!”

  “I don't know that. You had your acting career to think about.”

  “An acting career that brings in enough money to make sure Luca will have the best life of any kid in Hollywood. He'll never have to worry about anything as long as he lives. I promise. I'll be here for him now. Always.

&n
bsp; “I promise. Sophia I love Luca. I love having a son. And I love you too. I always have...”

  He pulled me toward him, brushed the hair from my eyes and pressed his finger under my chin to raise my gaze to his.

  “I love you...”

  “I love you too, Ethan. I've always been in love with you.”

  He kissed me tenderly with his lips like silk against mine. Slowly, he traced his finger down the side of my face.

  “Sophia... I want us to be together,” he said. “I want us to be a family.”

  “I want that too. More than anything.”

  He smiled as though he was the luckiest guy in the world then leaned in for another kiss. But this time his lips met mine with an urgency that nearly knocked me backward off my seat.

  “I'm so fucking happy!” he beamed, pulling away, breathless. “It'll be the three of us. Like a real family!”

  “A real family,” I repeated, letting the words sink in. “You, me and Luca. Nothing could make me happier.”

  Epilogue

  Ethan

  Six months later

  “ D

  ad? are you even allowed to eat those?” asked Luca as he watched me stab my fork into my stack of pancakes.

  “I'm allowed to now,” I replied, savoring the taste of the butterscotch syrup. “You know, now that I don't have the studio holding their contract over my head with their ridiculous demands on what my body looks like.”

  Over at the stove, Sophia was expertly flipping one pancake after the other. She looked over and smiled at us and a tremendous warmth spread through me.

  “Come join us, sweety.”

  “I'll be over in a minute.”

  “Yeah, hurry up, Mom! I need you to check my homework before I go to school.”

  Untying her apron from around her neck, she hung it up on the wall and sauntered over. She was still in her pajamas with her hair billowing out wildly around her shoulders. To me, this was when she was her most beautiful.

  “I'm sure your homework is perfect,” she said to Luca as she sat beside him. “You're a smart cookie.”

  “Do you really think so?” he asked. “I mean, that my homework is perfect? Because I'd really like to go over it again.”

  “I'm positive you got full marks like you do every time, honey,” she said, ruffling his hair. “Remember, they moved you up another year at school for a reason.”

  “He's two years ahead of everyone else his age,” I marveled. “I'm guessing he's got your brains and not mine.”

  “He's got your looks,” Sophia said with a wink before standing up to pour more coffee. “Anyway, what's your plans for today?”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose in thought. There were almost too many tasks to complete over the next day, but I was brimming with the excitement of doing them all. Even if they were stressing the hell out of me.

  After everything that happened in LA with Luca, I knew I needed a change. And thanks to Sophia, being the phenomenal lawyer that she was, she managed to wrangle a deal and get me out of my contract with the studio. Most actors would have been sickened by the idea of going it alone, but I knew I didn't need the studio. Not when I had my family to support me.

  “I'm going to create my own studio and make my own rules!” I'd told Sophia, and she'd encouraged me as much as she could.

  She told me I could do anything I wanted and that she believed in me. It was all I needed to hear.

  Six months later and I was in the middle creating my very own studio which of course I named for little Luca. Giraffasaurus Inc was now spread across three lots on the edge of the New York suburbs. So far me and Jules had managed to keep the whole operation secret, but occasionally we'd see the odd paparazzi trying to get a whiff of the secret beyond the countless plasterboard walls.

  It wouldn't be long until I'd go public, but until then I had paperwork to finish, contracts to finalize and building work to complete. It felt like every day there was a brand new task more difficult than the previous.

  But I was dizzy on the excitement of it all. There were so many changes. All of them good. And I couldn't wait to see what the future held for me and my new family.

  “I've got a bunch of stuff to do at the studio,” I thought out loud. “But I was thinking that I could pick Luca up from school and he could come to work with me. What do you think, buddy?”

  “Yes!” he squealed. “Will you show me where all the props will get made?”

  “I sure will.”

  Luca began jumping up and down like he was on a sugar rush.

  “Oh, great you got him excited,” said Sophia as she returned to the table with her coffee. “He'll be bouncing all the way to school.”

  Sophia took a sip of her coffee, her still sleepy eyes adjusting to the morning sunlight. I had the strongest urge to jump across the table and kiss her hard, but I didn't dare in front of Luca.

  “I forgot to tell you,” said Sophia in between sips. “Emily called last night.”

  “She did? What did she have to say? Bet she's got loads of stories about her new life in LA.”

  “Yeah, she has plenty. Seems like she's at a new party every night.”

  “I still can't quite believe it. Emily in Hollywood. She was always such a homely girl.”

  “She still is. She just works as a nanny in a very fancy home now.”

  Emily had always enjoyed working with children. She was a natural with Luca after all. And it seemed that after his kidnapping, she wanted a new direction in her life as well. Choosing to leave her life as a graphic designer behind, she trained briefly in childcare before pursuing her dream of working as a nanny.

  It didn't take long until she settled into life in LA working with wealthy families across Hollywood before eventually settling down to care for the children of a pop star duo.

  She was having the time of her life and each time she spoke to Sophia she'd chastise her for leaving LA and returning to New York.

  “I miss Emily,” said Luca with a mouth full of pancake.

  “I miss her too,” sighed Sophia. “But she's got an amazing life now. Besides, she'll be visiting next month. That's only a few weeks away.”

  She leaned over with a napkin and dabbed the chocolate sauce off Luca's mouth. There was nothing more gorgeous to watch than a young mother with her child, and I gazed at the two of them adoringly. Being with them made me feel as though I'd won the lottery.

  “What are you doing today?” I asked Sophia. “Besides being perfect.”

  She dropped the napkin and looked up at the clock.

  “I've got about a hundred meetings,” she said. “Won't have time to breathe today.”

  “Just another day in the life of a senior partner at McSweeney and Sons.”

  “I suppose so. But I've been thinking. After this case I'm working on, I think the three of us should take a break and go on a vacation. A proper one somewhere hot and sunny with white sandy beaches. A place we can all properly rest.”

  “Agreed,” I said, spearing my last piece of pancake. “We all work too much. You as well, Lucas. You need some time off too.”

  As I chewed on my last mouthful of breakfast and reached for my orange juice, I felt my phone buzz inside my pocket.

  “Hey, we're not allowed our phones at the table,” Luca reminded me.

  “Sorry, buddy. I think this might be important.”

  “Who is it?” asked Sophia as she watched me fumbling to open the email.

  “It says it's from director Bruno Minello.”

  “Minello? As in the dude that directed-”

  “Three Times A Hunter. Yeah. That dude.”

  “Who's that?” asked Luca, staring up wide eyed in between us.

  “Bruno Minello is a very famous director,” explained Sophia. “He's won more Oscars than anyone else.”

  “And he's emailing dad?”

  “He is.”

  “Why?”

  “I don't know,” replied Sophia. “Ethan, why don't you tell us
?”

  But I was still stunned. I'd admired Minello's work since I was a teenager. He was a serious director. One that only worked with accomplished thespians and critically acclaimed actors. He didn't work with guys like me who ran around in action movies blowing shit up.

  “Ethan? Are you okay?” asked Sophia, reaching out to shake me gently.

  “Yeah, it's just that... Minello has asked to direct a movie about us.”

  “About us?”

  “About what happened to Luca. He said the story has everything you'd need for a blockbuster. Love, a long lost son, a strong leading girl, detestable villains. The whole shebang.”

  “Isn't it a bit soon?” gasped Sophia.

  “Just a bit. But it's awesome, right?”

  “Wait,” interrupted Luca. “There's gonna be a movie about us? Who's gonna play me?”

  “Someone very handsome,” said Sophia. “Now how about you go get your school bag. We need need to leave soon. And I need to get dressed and put my makeup on. Jesus, I look like I've been living inside a bush.”

  “You look wonderful,” I laughed, pulling her toward me and kissing her cheek.

  She giggled and leaned into me, her body melting into mine. Relaxing in my arm, she moaned softly as I kissed her neck.

  “What if Luca sees?” she worried.

  “He just ran into his room. We've got a few minutes.”

  Then she looked up at the clock and the moment was spoiled.

  “Ah, shit! Is that the time?” she squealed in a panic. “I better get my ass moving!”

  She dashed off toward the bedroom, sliding across the floor in her socks.

  “Ethan can you put the TV on?” she asked as she slid around the corner of the doorway. “I wanna see the traffic news?”

  I entered the living room and found the remote in among Luca's toys.

  “The traffic will be fine!” I assured her.

  “No, it won't!” she shouted back from the bedroom. “This is New York, remember? It'll be a nightmare!”

  I turned the TV on and flicked through the channels until I reached the news. Expecting to see the traffic update, I was shocked when instead of the usual footage of jammed up cars along the highway, I was confronted with a picture of Vincent Roberts' face.