Wrangled Mess

by Reese Madison

  “Did your mother ever tell you not to tell an angry woman to calm down?”

  “Why are you angry?”

  “Why am I angry??” I slammed the car back into park and turned in my seat to face him. “Why am I angry?? Do you really need to ask?”

  “I’m asking.” He confirmed calmly only fueling my temper.

  “Let’s see. My ex-boyfriend, who I foolishly considered marrying, was robbing me blind. You come along and catch him in the act of trying to kill me. On top of that I’m being taken in by your sexy smile and intoxicating eyes.” My temper is losing momentum. “Now I’m being run out of town because my ex is trying to kill the man I love. There. Now you know why I’m angry.”

  I tried to turn my attention back to driving, but Trace put his hand over my arm. “I love you too Celeste. We’ll get past this. I promise.”

  “I don’t like promises.”

  “Celeste. Stop. Look at me.”

  “I want to go home.”

  “You’re acting like a bratty child. Look at me.”

  I tried not to shoot him the dirtiest look ever, but I may not be able to help it. “What?”

  He scratched his nose letting me stew for a moment. “Okay, yell at me.”

  “You could have been killed!!!” I yelled knowing when I’m done, he’s going to comfort me until I feel better.

  “Jackson is such an inbred dumbass douche, he hired a wing nut who didn’t realize you can’t hit shit with a .38 from that distance.”

  “What if he’d been closer? What if he’d posed as a window washer and shot you point blank. What if, what if, what if. I know better than to do this, but I can’t help it. I barely know you, but dammit Trace, you can’t leave me now!!”

  “I’m not going anywhere. Before this gets ugly, the club is going to take care of it. I know it’s inconvenient, and I know you’re scared, but I need you to trust me. Trust the club. Trust Slider, and trust the lawyers. In the meantime, we’re going to go take a little vacation.”

  “Do you get why trust might be an issue with me right now?”

  “Do you trust me?”

  “Yes.” It was an easy answer.

  “Do you trust Slider?”

  “Of course.” Another easy answer.

  “Good. Now take me to my place so I can pack a couple bags. I need to call my babysitter.”

  “Babysitter?”

  “Yeah, for my snakes. They can’t be left alone, and it’s too far for Stan to drive. I’ll call a friend of mine to look after them while we’re gone. We need to be there to give him the keys though.”

  “I am not going to a house full of snakes.” I started the car as Goat honked his horn at me. I know. I know. I’m in the way. Shit.

  “It’s only for a few minutes, and they’re all in cages.”

  I shivered. “Bits is probably into something by now.”

  “Kris is watching him, he’ll be fine.” Sawyer got a call this morning and dropped Kris off at my house on his way out so she could entertain Bitsy while we were having the meeting at the club.

  Kris loves him as much as I do. “What does Kris do for a living again?”

  “Kris is complicated. I’ll let her tell you.”

  I followed Trace’s directions to his house and bit my lip. “This is the place you’re restoring??”

  “Problem?”

  “Yeah. This place is like a landmark. What happened to the guy that owned it?”

  “He sold it to me. I’m going to need your help. Are you going to be a squeamish little girl.”

  “Oh yeah. In fact, call Sawyer. Call Goat. Call the National fucking Guard, because if there is one snake in that house, I am NOT going inside.” I pointed to his front door.

  “They’re all secured Cookie. Come on. My mother is already at your house.” He looked at his phone.

  “What?? Why?”

  “She wanted to be there to check on me after the meeting. Kris will keep her entertained.”

  “Bits.” I cringed.

  “He’ll be fine. Get out of the car baby.”

  “Not on your life.”

  “I need your help.”

  “You need your head examined if you think I’m going in that house.”

  He snagged the keys from my hand. “It’s no different than visiting the reptile section at the zoo. You’ve done that, right?”

  “Not by choice.”

  “Look, I got shot, twice, yesterday. Can you try to suck it up here?”

  I opened my door, “If I die, make Eddie tell you about the safe in my office. You can afford to expand ten times with what’s in there.”

  When he caught up by the front door I was gifted with a lingering glare.

  I looked away, “What? It’s true. What Jackson took pisses me off, but it’s a drop in the bucket. I’d pay twice that to be rid of him for good, so we can live in peace.”

  He caught my chin in his fingers and set those eyes on mine with purpose, “I don’t want your money Celeste. I want you. I can support us, just not the way you’re accustomed.”

  “I don’t care where, or how we live, but if you bring a snake in our house, I will divorce you.”

  “No you won’t.”

  “No. I won’t.” I stomped my foot. “Can we get this over with?? I’m worried about Bits.”

  “So, you’ll marry me?” He closed in teasing my lips with his ticklish whiskers.

  “Depends on whether I make it out of this house alive or not.”

  “And if you do? Will you marry me Celeste? Will you be my wife?”

  My heart is all over the place. I need to say yes. It’s the only answer. A no would imply something that’s akin to a lie. “Yes.”

  9

  The house he bought is one of the oldest in the area. It sits just above the base of the valley in the side of Silly Mountain. I’m not sure how it meets the requirement to be labeled a mountain. That’s just silly since it looks more like a hill compared to it’s big brother Superstition Mountain in the background.

  Trace grabbed the knob to the front door with the hand of his good arm and turned. It shouldn’t have turned. “Stay behind me.”

  He bent down and produced a small handgun, maybe a 9mm, maybe a .22. I know it’s not a .38 because of the shape. Otherwise my knowledge of guns is limited.

  “Do you always carry a gun?”

  “Strapped to the inside of my boot, yes. I have one more in the toolbox of my truck, and another in the glove box.”

  “Let’s just step back and call the cops.”

  “Stay behind me.” He pulled the sling off his arm and handed it to me. “And be quiet.” He ordered.

  Trace doesn’t bark often, but when he does he expects to be obeyed. In this case, I’ll obey. We might have to talk about some of his other random outbursts of dominance later. Then again, he is a man. The barks don’t bother me. In fact, I find them sexy, and sweet. The sexy man with a vicious sweet tooth and wandering hands, suddenly became the warrior befitting his ancestry.

  As I followed him into the house the smell of rancid meat hit me. “Oh.”

  “Shh.” He stepped further into the house. “Shit. Stay right there Cookie. I can’t have you seeing this. Stay.” He reiterated with a look before stepping around the corner for a moment.

  I pulled my shirt up over my nose. As I looked around I noticed a lot of construction. Then it moved. I jumped. It crawled on too many legs towards me. The saunter of a large spider is unmistakable.

  I screamed bloody murder and ran from that house so fast you’d think there was a machete yielding, serial killer, clown on my ass. I hate clowns. They freak me out. What are they hiding behind those big fake red smiles?

  I ran as fast as I could while trying to brush off cobwebs that didn’t exist the whole way. I probably look li
ke someone practicing Kung Fu after snorting half a vile of cocaine.

  “Ma’am? Are you okay?”

  I turned around still swatting, “Is there anything on me?? Get it off!!”

  “There’s nothing on you ma’am.” The old man informed me sounding concerned.

  I put my hands on my knees and bent to catch my breath as Trace walked up to us. He was running, then saw I’d stopped and slowed to give his hip a break. The shot was clean through, but he said it feels like he was kicked by a horse.

  “Mr. Colson. Is this your lady friend?”

  “My future wife, yes sir. Mr. Lucash, this is Celeste Skye. Celeste, my neighbor Mr. Lucash.”

  “Nice to meet you. I’d shake your hand, but I’m sweaty and shaky at the moment.”

  He put his hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay hun. What happened up there?”

  “Somebody trashed my place. I called Stan, he’s going to come help me round everything up. Can you make some calls to the neighbors for me. Tell them to be careful, don’t stick their hands anywhere they can’t see, and avoid yard work until we can sweep the area.”

  “Oh great. Who would do this to you son?”

  “My ex-boyfriend.” I breathed looking up at Trace. “I want you to fill his fucking condo with poisonous snakes.”

  The old man laughed, “Don’t piss her off son.” He winked, patted me on the shoulder and waved goodbye to embark on his mission to alert the neighbors of the slithering, creepy, crawly things. I shivered.

  “What was that smell?? I was like rotten meat.”

  “You don’t want to know.”

  “Oh Trace. Please tell me it wasn’t a dead animal.” I know the answer, I just can’t handle it. Not right now. Oh God. Who could do such a thing??

  “Come on Cookie. Take your car and go on home. Thumper is bringing my truck from the club. My mother is waiting for you at your house. Text me the minute you walk in the door.”

  “What if my house… oh shit Bits!!” I can’t run anymore, so I walked quickly to my car. “This sucks. This really sucks. If anything happens to you or Bits I’m going to lose my mind!!” Now I’m mad. Very very mad.

  Trace caught my arm as I swung the car door open, “Hey. Calm down before you drive.”

  I jerked my arm away and instantly felt bad. “I’m sorry. I’ve never been this mad and scared before!”

  “I know. Come here.” He put his arms around me for a much needed hug. “I’m going to call Fletcher. Go home and sit with my mother and Bits until I get there. I’ll have Fletcher send over a squad car to patrol the area. The club will send a member to sweep your house. Don’t open the door for anyone NOT wearing a cut. The patrol car won’t come to the door. Can you remember that?”

  I nodded finding my inner strength I’ve tapped into so few times in my life. “Only let a member in the house.”

  “Good girl. Go on now. I have some calls to make and some critters to wrangle up.”

  I shivered visibly as I stepped back from his embrace. “Be careful. Don’t get bit by something poisonous.”

  “I have anti-venoms on hand. I hope. Unless they smashed those too. Baby, I gotta run.” He kissed my cheek and walked quickly back into the house. I heard him cuss loudly a few times and knew he was going to be making calls to get more anti-venoms. My heart went out to him.

  Trace’s mother, Bina, greeted me at the door with a flying piglet. I say flying because he’s swimming through the air to get to me as soon as she opened the door. “Hi baby boy.” I hugged him close finding another level of much needed comfort.

  Kris kissed Bits on the nose, “Sorry to runout on you Bitsy. Be good for your mommy. I’ll see you soon.” She looked at me, “I’m sorry about Wrangler. If there’s anything I can do, please call me. I left my number on your fridge.”

  “Thank you Kris. I hope we get to sit down and enjoy a glass of wine together real soon.”

  “I’d like that.” She waved to Bina as she side-stepped to her car, “Bye Mom!”

  “Bye honey. Be good!” Bina stepped aside and closed the door behind me as I walked in hugging my baby. “Where’s Trace? Did he get a call?”

  “You could say that.” I turned around to look for her. “We went by his place to feed his… snakes. Somebody let them all out. And if I heard right, smashed the anti-venoms. He’s at home dealing with the outbreak of dangerous animals in the neighborhood under Silly Mountain.”

  “His home is wherever you are dear.” She corrected politely and put her hand on my arm as her big brown eyes looked up into mine. “Come with me to the bar. I hear you white folk like whiskey when you’re upset.”

  I felt my eyes go wide.

  Then she winked at me, “Oh come on dear, get a sense of humor. Trace has dealt with many outbreaks. Don’t you worry about him.” She patted my arm and waved me over to my bar. “I noticed you have a very nice selection of whiskeys. I poured you one I thought might help.” She pushed a small tumbler to me.

  I took one sip, then another. “That does help.”

  “So does weed. My Cherokee blood never took to drink, but I have been known to enjoy a toast if the occasion warrants one. Any idea who would let the critters out at Trace’s house?”

  “My ex. Jackson. He’s butt-hurt and hell bent on getting a hold of my money. One way or another. I think he knows we’re onto him for trying to kill me with the rattlesnake in my shed. Now he’s trying to hurt Trace.”

  “Why would he put the rattlesnake in your shed to begin with?”

  “We’d been talking about marriage. Since the snake was fat with rats, I’m guessing he was going to wait until we got married, then stop feeding the snake. Making it aggressive enough to go for the first human it saw. Me.”

  “Is that what Trace thinks?”

  “He and his brother seem to think Jackson thought that by getting Trace out of the picture I’d run back to him. Marry him. Then he’d just wait for the snake to take care of the rest, making him a very rich widow.”

  “That’s a sick man who does something so horrible.”

  “I agree. I’m having a difficult time dealing with the fact that I was involved with this man for two years. I feel so stupid.” I took another sip. “If Trace hadn’t come along… I don’t want to think about it.”

  “He’s always been a big boy with an even bigger heart. When he was born I knew he was especial. He just looked at me like he knew me. Like he knew all my secrets, and he’d keep them tucked away safe in his tiny body forever.”

  The doorbell rang. “This is probably the guy Trace sent to check the house.”

  “Go on then. We don’t want to stumble over an intruder later. Or one of those damn snakes of his.” She shivered similar to the way I’ve been shivering all night.

  After letting Goat, and some guy named Nine Hole, in to do their sweep I went back to the bar to ask Bina, “How did you meet his father?”

  She laughed and poured about half a shot into my glass for herself. When she recovered from the burn she pointed at me. “Bikers. The new world pirate. The irresistible bad boys. I was young, horny, rebellious, and dying to find out what it was like to lay beneath such a man as Bull.”

  She poured me another shot then slid her butt up on the barstool behind the bar like she owns the place. Trace walks my house like he belongs here too. I suppose they both do. It still amazes me how this woman can be so open and loving towards me. A woman she barely knows.

  “Bull was the grand prize. If you made it to his bed you were golden. I only slept with him a few times. He had two other women that same week. I didn’t care. We were stoned, jamming out to music, and feeling good. Those days are still the highlight of my youth. The one devilish deed I’ve done, gave me the best thing to ever come into my life. Trace Michael has been my angel and savior his entire life. He’s the one that made me love life, and children.
Which is why I have nine.”

  I almost choked. Good thing I didn’t have mouthful of whiskey, it would be all over the bar right now. “You have nine kids?”

  “Yup. Most of them by Trace’s current stepfather. You’ll meet him soon. Right now he’s out of town on casino business. He did tell me, to tell you, welcome to the family.”

  “Tell him thank you. Oh, I need to text Trace, he’s probably blowing up. I was supposed to text him when I got here.”

  “I’m sure he knows you’re fine. Goat probably called him already.”

  “You know Goat?”

  “I know most of the club. Being a Colson-mama gets me in the club whenever I want. Salina throws a mean party, and we do a lot of charity work together. We’re starting a foundation next year. There’s too much money going in out of the club, and my various organizations. We need to put things under one roof to keep the books straight.”

  “Let me know if I can help in any way.” Instead of texting Trace, I called him.

  “I will.”

  The phone rang with the tell-tale beep meaning he’s on the other line. I almost hung up when he clicked over. “Cookie. Everything okay there?”

  “Yes. Goat and Nine Hole are checking the house now.”

  “I know, he texted me, unlike my beautiful lover.” He teased helping me relax.

  “I got caught up talking to your mother. How are things there?”

  “Messy but doable. Thank God for prospects and bored members. I think we’ll have this wrapped up in a few hours. Do you want me to pick up dinner on my way home?”

  “How can you be so calm??”

  “Getting wound up doesn’t help anything sweetheart. I’ll have a beer and bitch about the hassle later. Right now I need to get shit done so I can get back to you. I believe you owe me a kiss for running down the middle of the road screaming and flailing like a little girl in a spider web.”

  “Oh hush. I freaked out. Give me a break. You said they’d be in cages.”

  “I know I did. I’m getting all new cages with unbreakable glass and locks that can’t be cut so easily.”