No Wasted Tears

by Sylvia D. Carter

  “I do but most of the time it’s on Saturdays when I’m not preparing for Sunday worship. It gets me out of the house and I can sit by the lake and listen letting the Lord speak to me at one of those picnic tables, weather permitting.”

  “Are you a workaholic?”

  “I guess I could have tendencies in that direction, but to me it isn’t really work because I love serving the Lord. I enjoy the challenge of putting together a dynamic sermon.”

  Marvin was watching her and it made her a little nervous she avoided his eyes by looking at their surroundings yet again.

  Wistfully, Destiny replied, “I could just sit down in the grass out there and look at the lake and trees all day. It seems so peaceful here and I can see why you fell in love with it.” He watched her reach for the pitcher of water on the table and refilled her glass before continuing their conversation.

  “So tell me about yourself.” Adam asked as he watched her squint her eyes as if she was trying to decide what she wanted to say to him. “What do you want to know?”

  “I don’t know. Tell me everything, anything. How does your family feel about you moving to Washington with your aunt?”

  “Well, let’s see…my aunt raised me from a newborn, so I had no family to consider in my move to Seattle but Auntie.” Looking up, she found him watching her.

  Adam gave her an encouraging smile. He wanted to hear more. “Your aunt sounds like a wonderful person. I could tell she loves you very much from our conversation earlier during dinner.” Adam looked up from the after-dinner coffee he was drinking and focused on Destiny. “What happened to your parents, brothers, sisters?”

  “I’m an only child. My mother died in childbirth, and I really don’t know much about my father besides what my aunt has told me. From what I know, he left before my mother died. Sara worked hard owning a club, but back in her day, they called it a juke joint. After I finished college at Clemson, she moved us to Charleston. So here I am in Seattle, hoping that God will continue to guide me and all of my decisions from here on out.” Destiny looked up from the key lime pie she was pushing around on her plate.

  The finality of the statement kept Adam from asking anything else about her life or the relationship she was in.

  “Well,” Adam said, “I can say that God is already doing his part. If he weren’t, you wouldn’t have gotten saved and totally surrendered to him. I know God had something to do with us meeting. I’m happy about it.”

  Adam must have sensed that his statement made her a little uncomfortable, so he changed the subject. “So tell me, where are you going to be working here in Seattle?”

  “For Kintama Chemicals, designing and managing a network of receivers that can pick up signals from tagged salmon known as the Pacific Ocean Shelf Tracking project.” I’m really excited about it.” He watched the spark of excitement in her eyes light up like fireworks as she talked about her career.

  “My best friend, Tina, the one I told you about, recommended me for the job. We had the same majors in college. She knows the president, and they were really excited about me joining their team,” Destiny said around a bite of pie.

  His low soothing tone was her undoing, causing her stomach to flutter. He chuckled before responding. “Okay, I can tell you love your work by the way your face lights up while you talk about it.”

  She tilted her head slightly and asked, “Is that a bad thing?”

  “No problem with me. I love what I do as well,” he stated as he took the last bite of his pie.

  He was constantly watching her expression even when she looked away there seemed to be a magnetic force that caused her head to turn back. Destiny couldn’t take her eyes off his mouth; the enigmatic tilt of it fascinated her. The way he half-smiled, as if he was enjoying the edge he had over her in knowing something that he only had privy to.

  It was a hard task to stay focused with her voice sounding so seductive. He knew it was not intentional, but it was still hard to stay focused on their conversation. Praise the Lord they were in a place that helped keep his flesh in check Adam thought to himself.

  They left the restaurant after he took care of the bill.

  As Adam drove toward SeaTac, he watched Destiny out of the corner of his eye. Calling her a beautiful woman was an understatement. Her flawless face was the color of rich caramel, and when she smiled or laughed, her eyes danced with excitement and passion at the same time. He had been struggling all day to keep his eyes off her. He wanted to show everyone some attention, but there was something about this woman that moved him.

  As he pulled into the driveway of the house, he noticed that she still looked a little nervous as he turned off the ignition. The only thing he could fathom was that she probably was a little nervous about how they would end this evening. Adam got out the car and came around to help her out. He reached for her hand and felt an electrical charge run up his arm. She must have felt it as well because she dropped his hand immediately. They walked side by side to the door.

  Adam reached around her to open the screen door, and Destiny jumped, causing the door to slam shut. She looked at him with those caramel eyes sparkling.

  “Why are you so jumpy? Relax. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to,” he whispered softly. “I should probably go,” he managed to mutter as he tried to calm himself down. Not doing anything he would regret later.

  A red strain formed on her cheeks, and her eyes fluttered. Destiny, she chastised herself, this is a pastor, for Christ’s sake! What must he think? Her face became the picture of embarrassment as she put distance between them by reopening the screen door. She moved inside the house while letting the screen door be a barrier between them, leaning her face against it.

  “Adam, I mean Pastor Wheeler, I really enjoyed dinner. There is something happening between us. I’m not sure what that means with you being a pastor. I just want us to take our time being friends.” She looked at him with such sincerity that he wanted to kiss her but knew this was not the time.

  “No, I would love for us to be friends. I really enjoyed our afternoon. Can you promise me something?” he asked.

  She felt her breath stall in her throat not certain of what he wanted to ask. “Yes, if I can.”

  Getting serious again and making her nervous, he said, “When we are alone together, will you please call me Adam? I love knowing that I’m your pastor, but when it’s just you and me, I want to be your Adam and you can to be my Destiny.”

  She sighed and looked away. Boy, was she relieved. She answered him, “Yes, I think I can handle that.”

  Reaching around the screen door, he ran his fingers over her long brown curls. “Before I go…would it be all right if I called you?” he asked.

  She agreed, giving him the number he requested.

  Adam turned and started down the steps. “Aren’t you going to write it down?” she called after him.

  Looking back, he repeated the number. Then he opened the door and got in the car. He waited for her to go inside. When the door closed, he began to back out of the driveway. He didn’t even realize he was singing. “This is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made. We shall rejoice. We shall rejoice and be glad in it.”

  Marvin’s heart was racing as he lay in bed. Picking up the phone, he called his brother.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, man, what’s up? I didn’t want to bombard you with questions at the restaurant—”

  “I know how you must feel. It was a shock when I saw her as well. But she’s back now.”

  Marvin’s heart started racing all over again, his mind filling with questions. Back? Back from where? Had she been alone, or had there been a man with her? Someone who would be exactly what her parents wanted for her? Did she complete her education? He didn’t voice even one of these questions. He had no business wondering what she’d done over the years. He swore silently. He couldn’t stop himself from asking, “How is she?”

  “She seems to be doing w
ell. She completed her degree.”

  Marvin nodded his head in satisfaction. “I’m happy for her. She deserves to be happy even if we didn’t make it.”

  “From the looks of things today, there’s still something there. You two were very much in love and hurt because of the breakup.”

  “All of that is history. If I see her again, I’m sure she’ll tell me all about her new man,” he offered.

  “We’ll see how it goes in the morning, okay, brother? It’s easy to say that because you’re not in her presence.”

  Deciding to change the subject, Marvin said, “I didn’t mention that tomorrow I should close on that real-estate deal I was working on in Oakland. I’m excited about this opportunity. It’s really going to put the company on the map.”

  Adam laughed. “I never doubted you for one second. You wanted it, and you all worked hard on closing that deal.”

  Marvin ended the call with his brother after a few more minutes of small talk. He found himself still struggling to wrap his mind around the fact that Cynthia was in Seattle. He wasn’t surprised that Adam was excited about her being back. He really expected no less from his brother the pastor. Just because he and she had been high school sweethearts didn’t mean anything. People grew up and moved on with their lives. Adam hadn’t thought so, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Cynthia was engaged by now. There hadn’t been a ring, but nowadays that meant nothing. She was an incredibly beautiful woman. Time had been good to her. What difference did it even make at this late date? A lot of time had passed, and what they’d shared in high school was gone. It no longer mattered why they’d broken up or who was responsible. He wanted her to be happy. Seeing her in the morning might prove to be awkward because of what they’d once shared, but that was okay. They had both moved on with their lives.

  Chapter 8

  Opening her eyes, she couldn’t believe that she had ended up here again. It wasn’t until he threw his leg across her that she realized he had stayed the night. This was getting old real quick. She had been in Seattle for four months without much success of accomplishing her goal. Yes, it had been easy finding the church because he was very popular in the area, but getting closer to him was proving to be more difficult than she realized.

  Her plan was to come here and become the wife she should have been years ago. All of the clubbing and partying was getting old. Plus, the drinking had become a habit that she couldn’t seem to shake. Her parents saw her once when she was a little intoxicated, and suddenly, she had become an alcoholic in their eyes. If she had been honest, she would have told them that she only drank when she went out. But being who they were in their self-righteous ways, they found fault in everything she did. Even her mother, who was once her biggest ally, had turned on her.

  She still remembered her words: “Now, dear, you should avoid the very appearance of evil.” That was after she saw her out with a few friends drinking at one of their favorite restaurants. As far as she was concerned, who she spent time with was no one’s business. She had been in the church convention circuit since she was a little girl. Men loved her and she loved them. She had a thing for older men. It was her life. So what if she enjoyed the company of tall, not so dark, and very handsome men? There were women all over the world just like her. Since she was attractive and by many standards a real beauty, she had been linked to several men over the years. Most of them were just friends, but a few had been friends with benefits. She’d even been introduced to some of the men by her father. That in itself was reason enough to laugh. They were all supposed to be godly men. And they were when he was around. But just like the old school song says, “The freaks come out at night.”

  What was a girl supposed to do? She was a freak. Her name was well known among most of the preachers in Atlanta married and single. Her parents had put her out of the house. Therefore, she had to find a means of support, and most of the guys fit the bill: good looking, large bank accounts, and partiers.

  She felt his movement, pulling her into a kiss. It wasn’t the kiss that bothered her so much. He had become far too familiar with her and apparently assumed they had a relationship that didn’t exist, showing up when he got ready. It was really getting old. On the other hand, hadn’t she put that idea into his head a few nights ago? He had agreed to help her at a price. There could not be a romantic involvement. But for now she would give him what he wanted because in a few days she’d have what she wanted. Finally relaxing, she began to return his kiss as he pulled her deeper into the sheets. She smiled because soon all her dreams would be coming true.

  Chapter 9

  Everyone in the house was up early. The sun found Cynthia on her knees praying for God’s guidance as the day started.

  She heard her boys running up and down the hall. Glancing over at the clock, it was time to get up and get moving. Looking around the room, she was proud of what she saw, loving everything about her new home. She had chosen a soft pink paint that Sara had sent her swatches of, which the painters applied perfectly. They even sprinkled the white spots on top of the paint, and the effect was dazzling. Sara made the curtains; they gave the room a feminine appeal. She had a window seat in which she put several pillows. It would be a great spot to read and reflect after work.

  She thought about her confrontation yesterday at the Lighthouse with Marvin, wondereding how long he and Kristen had been dating. A sharp stab of jealousy ran through her. She knew that she had no rights where Marvin was concerned, but it still hurt seeing him with another woman. She had promised herself that if she saw him, she would remain calm and act like an adult. Cynthia was proud of the way she handled everything. Miss Sara had been a lifesaver, taking the boys out of the restaurant before Marvin saw them.

  Adam had not shared the information about the twins with him. She knew for sure that his parents saw her at church on Sunday. Mary Wheeler was very observant, and she knew that if she got close enough she could tell that the boys were her grandsons. God had shown her some grace, but she knew that she would have to tell him and soon.

  Cynthia knew she couldn’t worry too long about Marvin. She had to meet with her boss today at M and W. That was going to require some much-needed strength. She made up her bed headed to the bathroom for a shower.

  Across the hall Destiny was gasping for breath, caused by the sobs rising in her throat from a terrible dream that interrupted her sleep. Sitting upright, she was relieved to know she was in her own bed. The sound of the rain against her windowpane was refreshing. It took a few seconds before the panic subsided and the sight of her new room steadied her a little. As if on cue, the alarm clock announced with a song that it was time to get up.

  “It was a dream,” Destiny said aloud as she brushed a hand over her tangled hair and scrambled out of bed. She was in Seattle. That fact alone gave her peace of mind.

  As Destiny and Miss Sara sat at the kitchen counter, Cynthia entered, inhaling the smell of the freshly brewed coffee. She glanced in on the boys and told them to put away their toys before coming to breakfast.

  “Good morning, Destiny, Miss Sara,” she said while moving toward the cabinet to get a mug for her coffee.

  Destiny looked at Cynthia. “If they base hiring on how good you look, then you have a new job.”

  She smiled before taking a sip of her coffee.

  Sara looked up from her newspaper to comment. “I tried to get the boys to stay calm this morning, but they are excited about attending their new school. It’s really a blessing that I got them on the list for Little Lambs Christian Academy when I moved here in February. It’s not far from where you’ll be working.”

  Cynthia looked over at Miss Sara as she took the makings for breakfast from the refrigerator. “The boys and I drove over to the school when I went to the mall to pick up some things for decorating my room. I also went by the M and W to make sure I knew how to get there today.”

  Sara gazed at her. “The boys asked who Marvin was yesterday when they saw you talking to him. Jonathan said
that he looked like Adam, just like he looked like David.” Laughing, she went on to say, “David told him that was because Marvin and Adam were twins just like them.” Sara looked at Cynthia and in a serious tone said, “Don’t wait too long to tell them the truth.”

  “I’m going to tell them just as soon as I tell Marvin. I also want them to know all of their grandparents,” she replied.

  Sara walked over and put her arms around Cynthia before saying, “Trust your feelings and trust what God is telling you to do.” She looked up when she heard the boys entering the kitchen.

  “What’s God telling you, Mommy?”

  Her sons were coming in the kitchen, talking at the same time.

  “God is always telling me how wonderful my sons are and how much they love me. Now come give Mommy a hug. Did you all say good morning to Destiny and Miss Sara?” she asked them.

  Both Jonathan and David left their mother and responded, “Good morning, Miss Destiny, and good morning, Me-ma.” They gave hugs to each of them.

  Jonathan smiled up at Cynthia. “Mommy, are you going to fix us some pancakes?”

  “We want chocolate chips inside,” David added.

  “Um-hum,” Jonathan responded.

  Destiny grinned. “Why chocolate chips, guys?” she asked as she was putting her mug in the sink.

  “That’s what Mommy always does to start our week off right. Today we start Little Lambs Christian Academy. We promised we would be good.” David looked sheepishly at Destiny.

  “Can we sit in front of the television and eat them, Mommy?” Jonathan asked.

  “Not today, guys. Mommy has to get you to the school, and I have an interview,” she told both of them. “We’ll watch cartoons on Saturday and eat pancakes. Deal, guys?”

  They looked up at Cynthia, and said, “Deal.”

  “I believe that a prayer is in order for all of us today,” Sara said. “Cynthia, you have an interview. Destiny, you are going to visit Tina and her family. David and Jonathan are starting a new school, and I’m going to be right here interceding for us all.” She looked at everyone in the kitchen, and then she held out her hands.