Trust An Even Hand

by Chloe Cox

  And she had Luke to thank for that. She had Luke to thank for a whole mess of things, actually.

  Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Do not think that way, Charlie. That way lies heartbreak.

  “Charlie!”

  It was Beverly, her sous-chef. Now the acting executive chef, come to think of it, and kinda owning that role. Charlene threw up her hands.

  “Not here to cook!” she said. “Just here to raid my secret stash.”

  Beverly raised an eyebrow, and pointed with her chef’s knife.

  “You know the rules,” she said. “Replace it within a week!”

  “I’m only taking a few threads,” Charlene laughed. “But yeah, I’ll call my guy, don’t worry. We will never be saffron-less.”

  “Now when are you coming back?” Beverly said. “I love this, but I want to know when I get to sleep again.”

  Charlene grinned. Luke had a tendency to put her out for the night early. She hadn’t slept so well in years.

  “Soon,” she said as she removed the bottom of a spice drawer to get at her secret stash of super-premium saffron.

  But maybe not too soon.

  After that, Charlene just tried to stay out of the way. She made her way through the kitchen on autopilot, waving to those who looked up, looking over shoulders, giving encouragement, all as she waltzed toward the door.

  But not the front kitchen door, back out onto the dining floor. By sheer force of habit she found herself at the staff’s entrance. Which, actually, was more appropriate. And anyway, old habits died hard.

  It wasn’t until after she’d closed that damn door behind her that she saw Jimmy was waiting for her in the alley.

  Her ex-husband. Dressed up in that same suit. Holding a bunch of flowers.

  Of course, he was also cornering her in the alley behind her restaurant.

  “How did you know I was here, Jimmy?” she asked, even as she realized she knew the answer.

  “Well, I was waiting out front,” he said. “But then I figured you’d come out here, just like the old days.”

  And he smiled at her.

  More likely, he’d seen Luke with her. But he had known she would leave out the back door, and that made Charlene crazy. That he was thinking it was because of all those nights they’d eaten dinner out here, while the last of the couples in the restaurant finished their desserts, and not just dumb muscle memory.

  She reached into her purse and found her phone, unlocking the screen by touch alone. She could call Luke with just the press of a button.

  But she wanted to do this herself.

  Jimmy offered her the flowers, and she took them, again totally automatically. Inwardly, Charlene cursed. She knew from experience that her ex-husband would take any excuse to interpret her feelings the way he wanted to. He’d think she’d give him an inch when she meant to give him nothing, and then he’d take a mile anyway.

  Jimmy’s abuse hadn’t gotten physical in the traditional sense, unless you counted the sort of bullshit he pulled in scenes, and Charlene did. He’d never hit her outright, but it was deeper than that. She always wondered if it would have escalated eventually. It had started so slow, with lines crossed and words said, that by the time he left he was so different from the man she thought she’d married that nothing at all would have surprised her.

  And yet it was still so disconcerting to see a person you thought you knew so well, and realize you never knew them at all. Charlene was used to this sequence of emotions. It happened every time she thought about Jimmy. But this time the shattering despair that always came as the finale whenever she thought about her ex just didn’t come.

  There was just sadness, that Jimmy was like this. And that she had wasted so much damn time telling herself it was her own fault.

  Before she knew it, she was just speaking the truth.

  “I don’t have anything to say to you, Jimmy,” she said. “You’re not part of my life anymore. You’re just the past, and you’re already fading.”

  And she threw the flowers on the ground.

  She threw them on the damn ground.

  Charlene stared at them for an endless second, then automatically checked Jimmy for his reaction. Every muscle, every nerve, every sinew tensed and ready for what might come.

  Jimmy raged for just a fraction of a second. Then he swallowed it and smiled.

  “Fair enough,” he said, biting off the words as they came out of his mouth. “But I just came here to apologize.”

  Charlene sighed.

  Why was she such a sucker for the possibility that everyone could be redeemed?

  “Say what you have to say,” she said, her hand still wrapped around her phone. “Quickly.”

  “Well, first, I didn’t mean to freak you out about the house,” he said.

  ‘The house.’ Like it was theirs, together.

  She let it go.

  “It’s just hard to see you there,” Jimmy said, bringing his hand to the back of his neck in that old ‘lost boy’ gesture that used to get her feeling bad for him. “It’s hard seeing you in the kind of house I always imagined we’d live in, with our family, and—”

  Bullshit. He’d never wanted kids.

  “This isn’t much of an apology,” Charlene said.

  Jimmy scowled again, a little longer this time.

  “You’re right,” he said, and it looked like it damn near killed him to do it. “I wanted to apologize if I was rude the other day.”

  Charlene just raised an eyebrow. Wait for it…

  “I was rude,” Jimmy went on, taking a half-step closer, “but you have to admit you pushed my buttons, Charlene. You know you did.”

  There it was. The same old, same old. It was almost comforting to see that nothing had changed—except Charlene.

  “You said what you came here to say,” she said. “Now it’s done. And I don’t ever want to see you again, Jimmy. Goodbye, for the last time.”

  Charlene turned to walk down the alley, toward the street where Luke was waiting in his truck.

  And Jimmy blocked her path.

  “You can’t be serious, Char,” he said.

  She stiffened. Maybe she should have gone back inside, or called Luke. But she so wanted to handle this on her own. Wanted to prove to herself that she could do it.

  “Back off,” she hissed.

  Jimmy took a step back, hands in the air. Still in her way.

  “You see what that man did to me?” he spat, and pointed at his bruised cheek. “I’m worried about you, Charlene. It’s not safe to be with a man like that.”

  Well that just fucking did it.

  “You don’t know anything about that man,” she snapped, pointing her finger and pushing forward. For the first time, Jimmy stepped back. “If I could have given you that shiner myself, I would have. And worse, too.”

  “You don’t mean that,” he said.

  “Try me.”

  Jimmy stared at her. Blinked.

  And she pushed past him.

  “I’m telling you, that man is dangerous,” he called after her. “Who are you going to believe?”

  Charlene wanted to laugh as she walked down that alley, leaving her past behind her. That was always it. Jimmy had always just beaten her down until she believed what he said over what she saw, and it had always worked for him. But not anymore.

  Who was she going to believe?

  “Me,” she called back.

  And with what she had to look forward to, there was no point in looking back. She walked the rest of the way grinning ear to ear, and thinking about what Luke had planned for the not-quite-rehearsal dinner.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Charlene watched happily as, at the other end of the long table Luke had made for her, another couple stood up with the air of people who had to reluctantly leave the party. Blue and Aaron waved, their smiling faces warm in the candle light, and Charlene waved back from her happy place, which was firmly ensconced in Luke’s lap.

  It was a perfect night.
Perfect weather, perfect food, perfect people. Perfect Dom holding her tight, letting her drink him in with every breath, every shift, every little caress of his thumb on her arm.

  Whatever nervousness Charlene had felt about being Luke’s sub in public vanished completely the second he’d ordered her to his side and pulled her into his lap. He’d held her close the whole dinner while trainees from the club served the food she’d spent all day cooking, his strength supporting her and reminding her of the sub she was when she was with him and how right it always felt. And she relaxed.

  Well, for certain values of “relaxed.” Her skin was practically humming, her nipples were rock hard, and she was so wet she might actually lose her mind if her Dom didn’t take her soon.

  But still, she didn’t want to rush this. Charlene’s home and heart were full of love, and she couldn’t be happier.

  She brightened up even more as Aaron and Blue walked toward them and Luke’s arms tightened around her.

  Yup. Definitely an all-time happiness record.

  “You headed home?” she asked.

  “We’ll see you soon,” Aaron said, his arm around Blue.

  “If we can ever get reservations for Charlie’s, that is,” Blue said, grinning. “How busy are you, girl?”

  Charlene blushed then smiled as Luke’s arms tightened around her again and she felt his lips graze her neck.

  “She’ll be busy for a little while,” Luke said.

  It was the first thing he’d said in an hour.

  “I’ll get you your own table,” Charlene said, her mind having trouble with words while Luke’s hands started to move. “You’ll never have to wait again.”

  She hadn’t even checked on the restaurant today—which was insane. And somehow good for her.

  “I’m going to hold you to that,” Blue said over her shoulder as they made their way over to where Gavin and Olivia were saying their own goodbyes.

  Everything was so easy.

  “Sweetheart, I love you, and thank you, but if I don’t leave now I am going to curl up on this table and go to sleep!” Olivia called out.

  “No, you’re not,” Gavin growled. “You know I’ll carry you.”

  “Hush. Hey Char, you want to put up Gavin’s brother and his wife for the wedding? Gavin won’t let them stay with us—”

  “You are pregnant and you need stability,” Gavin grumped.

  “And they hate hotels,” Olivia finished.

  For the first time, Charlene tensed. Luke felt it. What’s more, because he was the best Dom ever and he’d made her tell him, he knew why: she still hadn’t found a location for the wedding.

  “You know they can,” Charlene said. “But I still haven’t figured out where it’s going to be, so—”

  “That’s ok,” Olivia said with a big smile. “I have.”

  Charlene cocked her head like a confused puppy.

  And now Gavin was smiling.

  Something was up. Again.

  “What?” Charlene said suspiciously.

  She felt more than heard Luke’s deep laughter rumble in his chest, and knew her Dom was in on it. Also again.

  “Well, it’s asking even more of you,” Olivia said, suddenly serious. “But we’ve been talking about it, and it’s just…silly to do it anywhere else.”

  “There’s only one place that feels like home right now,” Gavin said.

  “Anything you guys need,” Charlene said, her heart speeding up as she tried not to think about how she was going to bribe the owners of whatever place they’d decided on. “I will make it happen.”

  “Here, Charlie,” Gavin said, grinning. “We want to get married here. At your house. On this lawn, if you’ll have us.”

  Charlene stared at him. At them. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she was almost anxious for a second, until she felt Luke’s warmth wrapping around her again. She almost couldn’t believe it. Almost didn’t know what to do with this much love in her life.

  “But only if you promise not to work!” Olivia said. “You will not be cooking at my wedding!”

  “After?” Charlene asked.

  And Olivia dissolved into laughter. “You’re hopeless,” she said. “But of course.”

  Charlene let herself relax back into Luke’s arms, overwhelmed for the moment. And again, he could feel it. This time he leaned forward, drawing her into his chest, and his mouth to her ear.

  “There’s no better place,” he whispered. “And I already know what I’m building for it. Don’t make me turn this into an order.”

  Charlene bit her lip and smiled. Then she looked up at Olivia and nodded, trying to pretend like she wasn’t tearing up.

  “Of course,” she said.

  Olivia clapped her hands and then giggled as Gavin swept her up in his arms, and Charlene looked hard at her friends—her family—all gathered in one place, all laughing, all happy. She’d never realized how damaging it was to pretend she could just stop being a sub. What a wall it had built between her and the people she cared about. You couldn’t hide part of yourself away without pushing people away, too, and loneliness had been the price she’d paid for fear. And suddenly Charlene was unafraid, and she felt like she had a family for the first time in a long, long time.

  And she knew why, too. The Dom holding her tight had changed her life forever, even if whatever it was they had…

  But she didn’t want to think about what would happen when their arrangement ended. Not tonight. No matter how stupid she was probably being. Tonight, she just wanted to enjoy what she had, and what Luke had given her.

  She looked up at him, expecting to see the same sort of smile on his face.

  Nope. No smile. But something else she recognized, though she wished she didn’t: a grimace of pain.

  If Charlene’s heart didn’t outright break, it ached sharply. In a rush she remembered so many things: what Luke had told her about his upbringing, what Luke had not told her about this family that still said so much, what she’d seen in his eyes when she’d told him he was not like his father. Not like the father who had obviously hurt him and everyone else he cared about, and was still hurting him to this day, even if he didn’t admit it.

  Here she was basking in the glow of feeling like she had a family for the first time in a long time, because of Luke and how he’d changed her life, and Luke was just reminded of old wounds.

  Charlene turned so she could get a better look at him, and he angled his face down to hers. Instant Dom mode. No more trace of private pain, of scars, of history.

  Silently, she reached up to touch his rough face with her fingers.

  I wish I could help you, she thought, the way you’ve helped me.

  In fact, she’d never wanted anything so much in her whole life.

  Luke looked down at his sub and smiled. It had been easy to get distracted thinking about how he was going to deal with his own family’s trouble, but Charlene’s eyes brought him right back to reality.

  Specifically, the reality where he still had a surprise planned for his sub.

  He was half hard just thinking about it. He’d seen the way Charlene flinched at the club, remembered that scene from years ago, back when she was with the asshole, where she’d been made to cry. It enraged him all over again to think of someone hurting her. He was never going to allow that to happen again.

  Never? That was close to the sort of commitment Luke couldn’t allow himself to make. But looking into her soft brown eyes, he knew what he could do: make sure she had new memories instead.

  And he smiled. Because he’d planned ahead for this. He’d been waiting to show her what he’d built for her all damn night.

  Hell, he’d been waiting to use what he built for her.

  Grinning, he shifted her around in his arms so she was cradled in his lap, and so he had easy access to whatever he wanted. Charlene’s fingers dug into his arms, her expression startled, and he saw the beginnings of the telltale flush on her chest, just above where her luscious breasts squeeze
d together under that damn dress. He went from half hard to fucking iron rod in about half a second.

  “There are still so many people here,” she whispered.

  He could tell the idea half excited her, half scared her, and he filed that away for later. But he wasn’t going to fuck her in public right now. Not tonight.

  Tonight, she was all his.

  But she didn’t need to know that yet.

  “And if they were?” he said, and slipped his hand under her dress. Her eyes got wide and heated as he held her, tightly, between her legs, his palm putting just the right amount of pressure on her clit, his fingers pressed against the wetness of her lips.

  Her fingers dug into his arm a little harder, and Luke heard himself growl.

  He looked up and saw that Holt, Simone, and the trainees were the only stragglers. Perfect.

  “Holt,” he called out, and the younger Dom managed to tear his gaze away from Simone long enough to pay attention. Luke made a mental note: he was going to have to talk to that kid. The mess between Holt and Simone had gone on long enough. He had no idea what could be keeping them apart, but whatever it was couldn’t be worth that much misery.

  But that was for later. He already had plans for the rest of the night.

  “Let the trainees know they can start their work,” Luke said, and nodded at Holt. The younger Dom knew what he meant.

  And that meant Luke was about to be alone with his sub.

  “What are you talking about?” Charlene whispered as Holt led Simone and the trainees who’d served dinner back toward the house. “What work? What—”

  “Quiet,” he said, simply, and punctuated his command with a gentle squeeze of his hand.

  Charlene gasped.

  “The trainees are going to clean up your kitchen,” he said, “and when we’re done, they’re going to clean up out here too.”

  Her eyes flew open. “Other people in my kitchen?”

  “Careful,” Luke said, and gave her another squeeze, her wetness covering his fingers. “I keep letting you off easy, but if you don’t want to be the only naked maid of honor in history, you’ll quite down and say thank you.”