Coming Out

by Lila Rose

  Too stunned to answer, I simply nodded and watched my dirty, erotic, dream man walk away, his arm wound around his girl’s shoulders.

  “Who was that stud?” Melissa sighed next to me.

  “I…he’s…oh, God.” I ran a hand down my face and sat in the vacant booth.

  Melissa quickly sat opposite me, waving her hand to a passing waitress. “We need drinks, make them doubles, one whiskey, one bourbon.”

  “Coming right up,” the waitress answered.

  My mind was too busy to take in anything other than the fact that Matthew Alexander, my Mattie, who I’d masturbated to every morning, had been in front of me. He had been there, in the club, and witnessed me nearly kissing a married man.

  “He stopped it. Why would he do that? It’s not like I have a conscience or anything. Hell, if a married man wants a piece of my arse, then I would let him. I’m a bad boy like that. His wife obviously isn’t giving it to him how he likes it. He…” shaking my head, I leaned back.

  “Julian, you’re rambling. Who was that guy?”

  “Kid. You mean kid. He’s only nineteen.”

  Melissa whistled. “Seriously, the way he’s built I would have pegged him to be in his mid-twenties at least. But that doesn’t tell me who he is.”

  “He’s on the football team I have to service, not in the way I’d prefer, once a week.”

  “He’s a football guy?” She nodded to herself. “I can see that. He has the body for it.”

  I groaned. Christ, at the mention of his body I wanted to go rub one out with my hand, knowing I’d come hard doing it.

  “Now it makes sense. He was watching you because he knew you.”

  “He was the one watching me?” I asked, aghast Ho no, he had seen me at my best. He saw the tart I was.

  “Hell, yes. And let me tell you, he didn’t like you talking to that guy.”

  “Pfft.” I snorted and rolled my eyes at her. My heart beat like a drummer was playing wildly on it.

  “Seriously, he watched your every move like he wanted to take a big chunk out of you. Now I know the look he had was a ‘wants to fuck you’ look, not a hateful one.”

  Shaking my head, I said, “No way.”

  Nodding, Melissa said, “Yes way.”

  The waitress returned, and once she deposited the glasses onto the table, I knocked mine back. After Melissa paid and the waitress left, I told her all about my encounters with Matthew Alexander, aka poppet or toy-boy.

  “Hmm,” was her answer.

  “Hmm, that’s all you have to say? Hmm…is that a good hmm or a bad hmm? Do I need to tell you again? Damn it, woman, did you even listen to what I said?”

  “Calm your gay-self down. Yes, I listened and the hmm was a good one…I suppose.”

  “You suppose, oh, well, you suppose so I can live a happy little life now. Jesus Christ on crack, give me some advice before I explode, then I can go home and wank till my heart’s content over a guy, a man-boy that I can’t have.”

  “Holy cow, that guy has really done a number on your brain.”

  “No shit, Sherlock,” I snapped dryly.

  “Okay, here are my thoughts. First, I honestly think he has a thing for you. I don’t know who that woman was. To hazard a guess, I’d say they were friends. Julian, the way he watched you, the way his jaw clenched when you stood up and touched Steven was…wow, I would have crapped myself. It was as though Steven was peeing on his property.”

  “I think you’re over exaggerating.”

  “Shut up, I’m talking now.” She grinned. “I think you shouldn’t care about his age. It’s only a number after all. The way—no…hell, the feeling I got when the two of you were close to each other was…let’s just say if I wasn’t in public, I would have been twiddling with my love button because it was so sexual. No doubt about it. He wants you, even though he was pissed, jealous. And you want him, though you’re frustrated.” She stood from the table. “I say on your next appointment, talk to him and watch his body. You’ll find he’ll have a stiffy, like I know you do every time he comes near or from even talking about him.” She leaned over close to me and looked at my hard cock.

  I knew two things then.

  Melissa was scary because she knew me too well.

  And I was going to listen to her. Matthew wouldn’t know what hit him come next appointment time. I just had to make sure he would be the last on my list for the day.

  Actually, there were three things I knew.

  Third, Thursday was a fucking long way away.

  Chapter Five

  Mattie

  My mind was still reeling on Thursday, Julian-day, about the way I acted on the weekend. What had I been thinking? All I knew was I couldn’t let Julian touch or kiss that guy. If I was to witness it, there was no telling what I would have done to that married fucking prick. My body didn’t listen to my head when I told it to stop. No, it had a mind of its own, because the next thing I knew, I was pushing Bella out of her seat and striding my way to Julian, ripping that dickhead away from him and demanding to know what Julian thought he was doing.

  Christ. When he looked shocked to see me standing in front of him, I wanted to pull him close and kiss the fuck out of him. Hell, I’d nearly reached up to do it. So when he turned his shock into attitude, I was thankful. Because then I was not only pissed, horny, and jealous, but I was annoyed that he didn’t take notice he was about to get it on with a married man.

  Still, something told me Julian wouldn’t have cared if the guy was married, and that pissed me off even more.

  Bella had been a godsend. She moved away a while ago, though we kept in touch. While she was in town for the night, she wanted to catch up and have a few drinks. When I acted like a tool—when I felt the idiot was touching what was mine and I didn’t like it—she understood. Then she noticed me looking panicked toward the end when Julian questioned me, so she saved me. She got me out of there before I confessed my obsession with Julian.

  Out the front as we walked to our cars, she squeezed my waist. “I like him for you.”

  “I…no…it could never work.”

  “Matt, have you…” she stopped and turned me toward her, her hands on my arms. “Have you experienced anything with a man yet?”

  Blushing like a school boy with his first erection, I shook my head.

  Her head tilted to the side and she frowned sadly at me. “Oh, Matt. Why not? I’ve never seen you react like that before. You didn’t like that other man near Julian.”

  Shrugging, I said, “I don’t know. I’ve never had the guts to try anything.”

  She sighed. “You need to stop being ashamed of who you are. There is nothing wrong with you, Matt. One day, you will see this. I just hope it’s soon.” We walked again, nearing our cars. “I also hope it’s with that handsome guy in there.”

  Laughing, I shook my head. “You just don’t quit.”

  “No, never. Not when I see the potential the two of you have.” She bumped her hip against mine. “Besides, I swear he wants you as much as you want him, and I’m usually right about these things.”

  My heart bloomed then, at the thought of Julian wanting me like I desperately wanted him. I couldn’t think of anyone else to show me, to teach me everything. He was the first one who I really wanted to see naked, who I wanted to touch and be touched by. He was the first one I ever thought about…taking my virginity.

  Damn. That sounded so corny.

  Sure, there were others I’d been attracted to, that I’d fantasied about.

  Only, it was never as intense as what I felt for Julian.

  No one had ever consumed my mind like Julian did.

  However, it still scared me. I didn’t know what to do with my thoughts or how to act, and I felt like a fool for how I behaved at the club.

  Which was why I was nervous, yet eager, as I waited to be called for my time to have Julian’s hands on me.

  I also felt like I should have run. Pretended I couldn’t make the appointme
nt. Still, I didn’t. I figured I needed to walk in there like nothing happened. As though I hadn’t seen him Saturday and barked in his face about that douche.

  “Alexander,” Coach yelled. With shaking hands, I headed around the lockers to a grumpy looking Coach. “Look, you’re last up, but I need to head out.” He thrust some keys at me. “Lock up after that guy’s packed up. Give me the keys tomorrow,” he said, then turned and walked off.

  Shit. I was now there alone with the man I wanted in every way.

  I nodded to myself. And nodded again.

  Easy. I could do this. I could be alone with Julian.

  Fine. Get it over and done with and then I could get home, eat and crash.

  Without thinking of Julian and his magic hands, body, self.

  Yeah, right!

  Knocking on the door, I waited until I heard, “Come in.” Opening it, my eyes sought out the man dreams were made of, and when they landed on him, my dick jumped under the towel. He wore a simple white tee and black slacks, but they hugged his sporty form nicely. Before I had a full erection, I made my way over to the table to lie down.

  “Evening, Mattie,” Julian said with a smile in his voice.

  “Julian,” I answered, placing my face down into the hole on the table.

  I heard a squirt of the bottle as he placed oil onto his hands. “How was the rest of your Saturday night?” Julian asked and then started to work on my shoulders, his fingers biting into my muscles.

  “Good.” But long, since it’s been four days since I’ve seen you. Four days of thinking of you, four days of jerking off as you played on my mind.

  Christ, I need help.

  “Hmm, is this how it’s going to be, short answers?”

  Turning my head to meet his amused gaze, I noticed his bruises and split lip were healing. Resting my head down, I muttered, “It’s how it should be.”

  “Really?” He laughed. “Obviously, you haven’t gotten laid lately or you’d be in a better mood.” His hands went down my back to my ribs as I said nothing in return.

  Some time passed, long enough that the way his hands worked my body I had a full erection pressing into the table. I’d bitten my lip countless times so I wouldn’t moan.

  “Did you sleep with that woman?” Julian questioned, surprising me he actually asked. It also made me wonder why he was asking. Had I been on his mind as well? I didn’t know how to respond, if I should lie to him or not.

  However, my mouth answered for me, “No.”

  Julian’s hands stilled on my lower back. Then I felt him shift. His heat pressed against half of my back. Then his lips gently touched down on my neck. I stiffened. At least my body did, my heart took off in a wild ride, wanting to pound out of my body.

  He’d kissed my neck, a fleeting kiss, but still one.

  Julian kissed my neck.

  What did it mean?

  My stomach clenched as nerves ate away at me.

  Once he leaned away, I quickly sat up, my hands gripped the towel to me. I had an urge to run, to hide. “I-I better go,” I said, not meeting his gaze. I went to jump from the table but he placed his hands quickly on my thighs, stopping me.

  “Poppet?”

  I didn’t answer. I couldn’t because I wasn’t able to take my eyes away from his hands on me and concentrate on forming any coherent words that would make sense.

  Julian’s hands were on me.

  Warming me.

  Smooth, slick hands from the man who’d consumed my mind were on my thighs.

  He took a step forward, his hips hitting my knees. My head snapped up to look at him, my wide panicked eyes searching his face. He looked calm, serious, with a small smile on his gorgeous lips. But when he rubbed the front of himself against my knees, my head dropped back down to take notice of the bulge behind his slacks. He was hard.

  Julian was so very, very hard.

  He stopped moving his hips. Still, his hands on my thighs gripped tighter and without a sane thought from myself, he separated my legs just a little, where he slipped himself between.

  “W-what are you doing?” I asked in a high-pitched voice.

  “Oh, nothing much.” He smirked.

  He shouldn’t be doing that. He shouldn’t be touching me, up in my personal space. I didn’t like it.

  Rephrase that. I was concerned by it, but my cock loved it. It bounced under the towel. I slapped my hand over it, worried Julian would notice; however, I shouldn’t have moved because it was then Julian looked down.

  His smile as he looked back up to me was shining. It lit up his whole handsome face. What worried me though was how he looked like the cat that got the cream.

  His head tilted to the side when he asked, “Do you want a hand with that?”

  Coughing, I snapped, “What?”

  Stupid question.

  Julian chuckled. One of his hands ran up further, sending my body into a shiver. Sweat spouted forward all over me. Under the towel now, his hand stilled just inches from my raging cock. “With this,” he said and then wrapped his hand around my erection. My body jumped, my hands slammed down onto the table, trying to inch my body back, away from his hand ON MY DICK.

  “I, no, you need to…” He stroked up and down. “Fuck,” I moaned and closed my eyes, only to spring them back open and stammer, “S-stop, you should stop.” However, my words meant nothing when my hips bucked into his hand. Wanting, needing more.

  “Are you sure that’s what you want, sweetheart?” Julian cooed.

  No. No I was not sure. I wanted him to stop yet continue until I blew my load over his hand.

  Instead, I placed my hand over his, stopping the motion. My dick screamed nooooo.

  “Please, stop,” I whispered, my breath husky, something it had never been.

  Julian actually pouted. “But I don’t want to.” And he certainly didn’t when his hand, underneath mine, continued to stroke me up and down.

  “Jesus,” I hissed. Closing my eyes, my head fell back. I was embarrassed at how easily he controlled my body.

  Julian stepped closer. His heat and his lean, firm body leaned in. I felt his lips at my neck, where he bit. A shudder went through me as my balls shrank up; I was close to coming. “Can I suck your cock, lover-boy?” Julian whispered into my ear, causing me to groan.

  No. Yes. No.

  Hell yes.

  Nodding, Julian made a sound of approval in the back of his throat. Maybe he knew I would chicken out because he quickly pulled the towel apart with one hand, the other stayed around my hardness as he kissed his way down my chest, my stomach and finally, before his mouth surrounded my cock, he looked up at me and smiled.

  As soon as his lips parted and glided over my dick, I embarrassed myself by coming like a horny teenager and kept coming as Julian drank it all down.

  I collapsed back on my elbows, breathing heavily. Julian grinned down at my flushed cheeks, and then leaned over to kiss my chest, running his tongue around my nipple. My dick jerked.

  He wanted more.

  Already.

  Again and again.

  As Julian’s mouth caressed me, his hand snuck up and took hold of mine. I supported my weight on one elbow as he guided it down to the front of his slacks. He let go for all but a moment as he undid his pants and pulled his big cock free. There he took hold of my hand again and wrapped it around his arousal. I brushed my fist around his dick and then slid it up and down, ripping a moan from his mouth so it caressed my chest.

  “Yes, baby. That feels so good,” he uttered.

  His words sent a thrill through me. My softened cock jumped from his words, and my stomach took flight with thousands of butterflies. He liked my hand on him and I wanted to undo this magnificent man. My grip tightened. He groaned and thrust his hips forward, then back.

  “Oh, God. Yes, poppet. I’m going to come.” And he did. He bit down on my nipple as he ejaculated all over my hand and legs.

  After he calmed down, he lifted his head and smiled a sweet, sa
tisfied smile at me. It was then he leaned forward more, as though he was going to kiss me, but it didn’t get that far, because I freaked.

  Pushing at his chest, he stood and took a step back. I wrapped the towel back around myself and jumped from the table. “I-I need to go,” I said without meeting his gaze.

  Glancing out the corner of my eyes, I saw him place his cock back in his pants. My own dick was once again hard. He must have noticed it behind the towel because he said, “Are you sure you have to? I could help with that again?” I watched his hand gestured to my area that was begging for release.

  He took a step toward me. I took one away. “No, that, no, we shouldn’t have done that.”

  His body stiffened. “Mattie, was that your first time with a man?”

  My blush would have been answer enough. “I have to go,” I uttered and swiftly walked from the room.

  I hid out in the locker room until I heard him leave the room and the building. I hid out like a pussy, even though I wanted nothing more than to go back in there and play with what I wanted to be mine and only mine.

  Fuck. I was afraid of real life and love.

  Chapter Six

  Mattie

  If I could describe myself in one word, it would be pathetic. Yes, that was me summed up in so many ways. Another week had gone by and all I could think about was Julian, while I worked, when I was home, even eating, he consumed my mind. However, the biggest reason I was pathetic was because that night, I was supposed to be at football practice. I went to the other four during the past week because I knew Julian wouldn’t be there.

  Thursday arrived.

  The day Julian made an appearance.

  So I couldn’t attend.

  Even though I really wanted to…I couldn’t.

  There was a risk I would want another hot encounter with him in the changing rooms, without a care of who was hanging around.

  Sulking, I walked up the drive. I’d pretended I went to football practice so my parents didn’t think anything was wrong. They were already looking at me strangely in the past week. I’d lost count of the amount of times they’d asked me what was wrong. Of course, I couldn’t say, “Oh, nothing, besides the fact that I have a hard-on constantly from a certain masseur.” It wasn’t something that’d make a happy night-time story.