Coming Out

by Lila Rose

  “Hey, Alexander. You’re up,” he said and went to his locker. “Man, if that guy wasn’t a dude, I’d marry him. His hands are amazing.” He chuckled. I slammed my locker door closed and turned to glare at him. He looked at me with humour in his eyes. “I knew it.”

  “What?” I snapped and looked around to see we were now alone.

  “You have a thing for him.” He turned to face me.

  “What? I…” Man up, Alexander. “Yes.”

  Lions shrugged. “Don’t bother me, bro. To each their own and all that. Just watch some of the others.”

  Nodding, I said, “I’m not…I don’t want them to know yet.”

  “Hey, I won’t say anything.”

  Sighing, I sent him a chin lift. “Thanks.”

  “You gonna stay in football when you do come out?”

  Shaking my head, I answered, “No, never wanted to play in the first place.”

  “Good place to hide though.” He chuckled. “You’re a good player, be sorry to see you leave the team.”

  “Jesus Christ, Alexander,” Coach yelled from outside his office. “Stop bloody gossiping and get your arse in there so I can get the fuck outta here.” He spun around and slammed his door, only to re-open it and throw something at me. I caught the keys just in time. “Forget it,” Coach barked. “I’m leavin’. You’re locking up. Got a hot date tonight, kid. I ain’t missing it.” With that, he stalked off out of the change rooms.

  Lions and I exchanged amused looks before we burst out laughing. I walked toward the door that held my boyfriend behind it and said over my shoulder, “See you, Lions.”

  “Yeah, catch ya.”

  At the door, I knocked once and when I heard Julian say come in, I opened it to see his smiling face. However, he looked like he’d been crying or hadn’t slept. Dark circles surrounded his gorgeous eyes and he hadn’t shaved either that morning, which was something he hated going without.

  “Hey, poppet. You look mighty fine, good enough to eat.” He licked his lips. “I heard the coach yelling. We’re here alone, right?”

  “Yes,” I said and walked to the table. “Babe?”

  “Hmm?” he replied as he readied his hands with oils.

  “You look tired.” I lifted myself up to sit on the edge of the table facing him. When he turned around and saw me, his eyes widened. What surprised him, I think, was the serious look upon my face.

  “I didn’t get much sleep last night, poppet, that’s all.” His hands went down to his sides, they looked shiny from the oils that coated them, but they were also shaking slightly.

  “Julian,” I started only to pause and bite my lip. I didn’t want to push, but seeing him like that, the worst I had ever seen him, made me worry more so. If he wouldn’t talk to me, all I could do was help him forget whatever was plaguing him for the moment. “Come here,” I ordered.

  He sagged in relief for me not pushing him into talking about whatever was on his mind, and stepped forward into my opened legs. I ran my hands over his black teed chest, only to slip my hands low again and sweep the tee from his body.

  My dick pulsated at seeing his smooth skin. He saw it, his hands starting to trail up my thighs, but I stopped them, laying my hands over his. He looked up at me in question. I cupped his cheek. “You’re an amazing man, Julian Jacob, and I want you to be my first in every way.”

  His eyes widened. “W-what do you mean?”

  I smirked. “Fuck me.”

  His head rocked back, shock written all over him. His body tensed, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “What? Here? Now?” He licked his lips. “As in, you want my meat package to join with your bun package?”

  Chuckling, I said, “Yes.”

  “Here?”

  “Yes, I’d like it to be here. We’ve had a lot of firsts here. When we first met, when we first touched, and now when you first fuck me.”

  “Poppet, if you keep telling me to fuck you, I won’t get the chance. I’ll come in my pants.”

  “Well, you better get to it then.” I slipped down to stand in front of him. He hadn’t made a move to touch me yet, so I helped him undo his pants and pulled them down his legs. I shook my hips and the towel dropped to the floor at our feet. He was breathing heavily, matching my own pants.

  God, I wanted Julian in every way I could get him.

  I was addicted.

  Wrapping my hand around his hard cock, I kissed him. From there on, he took over. He knocked my hand away from his dick as his other gripped my hair at the back of my head. “No, or I’ll come. Hell,” he breathed. “You are so handsome and mine.” I loved the possessive tone in his voice. He kissed me hard and rubbed our dicks together before turning me and forcing my chest to the table. “Are you sure about this?”

  “God, yes,” I said and then moaned when his fingers traced my ring.

  Panting, I looked over my shoulder and watched him move around for more oil, coating his other hand in it. He then brought it to my arse, stroking the slippery substance over his fingers and my ring, while his other hand rubbed it over his shaft.

  “Julian, fuck me,” I hissed. I couldn’t wait any longer. I wanted him inside me.

  “Shut up, poppet. I’m serious when I said I’d come.”

  I laughed, only to stop and moan when two of his fingers slipped inside of me, past the resistance. We’d been playing a lot during the week, and the arse play he did on me was driving me wild, so wild I was more than ready for him.

  Rocking back on his fingers, I palmed my own cock and started to tug. Then his fingers disappeared and in place, I felt his knob slip and slide over my ring. “Yes,” I hissed.

  Julian grunted and rested one hand on the table beside my hip. His other hand was around his dick as he applied pressure against my puckered hole. I pushed back against it. “Take it slow,” Julian advised.

  However, I didn’t want to. I pushed again.

  “Goddamn, poppet, you’re driving me crazy.” He nudged more inside of me and then the pain took my breath away. “Breathe, honey, breathe through it and relax.” I did. I slowed my breath and made myself clam down. Julian entered a bit further. It still hurt but not as much as before, and then, he was all the way in. His balls slapped into mine and he stayed still, letting me adjust around him.

  He leaned forward, his chest touching my back and then whispered into my ear, “You feel so good, poppet, so bloody good. Your arse is heaven.”

  Snorting a laugh out, I smiled. When he moved out of me and back in, hitting my sweet spot, I groaned out, “Again.” He did and it felt fucking unreal. My hand sped up on my dick. I was just about ready to blow my load all over the floor.

  Julian kissed my back and ran his hands all over me as he fucked my arse. “I love your arse. Damn, Mattie, God, you feel so good surrounding me,” he panted. “Hell, I’m going to marry your arse.” He groaned deeply.

  At that point in time, I would just about let him do anything to my arse. Nuptials and all.

  “Babe,” I hissed. “Fuck, you better come soon.”

  “So close, poppet, so close.”

  “I-I’m about to…” I threw my head back and grunted through the jets of sperm shooting from my cock. I’d never come that hard. My vision blinked out for seconds.

  “Yes, God, yes,” Julian chanted as he fucked me hard and then he swore, growling out through his own release. Julian collapsed onto my sweaty back. “Never had better,” he whispered.

  Smiling, I tried to lift my head but I couldn’t; my body was spent. “And you never will again. You’re mine, Julian Jacob.”

  “Gladly.”

  Chapter Ten

  Julian

  One week later

  My whole life could crumble to a dirty heap at any moment. Relieved I’d spoken to my aunt, who believed me, she was making her move to leave her husband. It hurt seeing the pain in her eyes, the disgust. I hated I was the one to ruin her marriage, even if she thanked me and told me she hadn’t been happy for a long time.

As soon as my father cottoned on to what I had done, my life was going to be… God, it was going to be agony.

  Knowing that was what kept me up at night; I was the cause of my aunt’s anguish, all because of my father wanting to rule my life, was what had me hardly eating.

  The only thing keeping me going was Mattie.

  So even through my torment, I found myself smiling as I lay on my couch while I thought of my man. Mattie had given himself over to me. No other man had. The men before him only wanted to fuck me. I wasn’t allowed near their arse.

  But Mattie had me.

  Mattie wanted me.

  He couldn’t get enough of me.

  Snot a block, he was awesome.

  The way it felt, the way Mattie surrendered to me, I couldn’t describe it. My heart expanded so much because I felt so much that it hurt, but it hurt so good.

  I knew I had to talk to Mattie, to let him know everything that was going on in my life, what my parents were like and how much trouble I was about to be in.

  I was scared though. Scared he’d see me as weak because I hadn’t stood up to my father. Scared that, over my father, I could possibly lose the love of my life.

  There wasn’t a doubt that it was love. Loving Matthew Alexander was easy.

  He made me want so many things. He made me want to be a better person, be in a committed relationship. Again, that was something I had never wanted. He made me feel strong, desired, liked and loved.

  My phone chimed beside me on the coffee table. I picked it up and read the message from my poppet, letting me know he would be more than happy to see me that night. Earlier, I’d asked him around for dinner, so I could tell him everything. I refused to believe what I had to say would drive him away. Mattie wasn’t like that…but believing it one hundred percent was impossible, because so many people in my life had let me down.

  There was a bang at the door, someone using their fist against it. I had a feeling I knew who it was, which was why I didn’t go to open the door. Instead, I stayed lying on the couch, covering my ears.

  Unfortunately, in the next second, my door was thrown open. I jumped from the couch, my heart taking off in panic. My father stood in the doorway.

  “Did you forget I had a key, son?” He smirked. The look in his eyes was feral. I backed up a step, my calves hitting the couch. “You stupid, meddling son-of-a-bitch. How dare you seek your aunt out and tell her things to make her leave my brother.” He stepped into my apartment and shut the door with a bang, just like my heart banged to my feet.

  Whatever was about to happen wasn’t going to be good.

  I had to do something myself.

  Diving for my phone, which had fallen to the floor, I snapped it up, only it was knocked out of my hand right after. A fist connected with my jaw, knocking me back a step. My father came for me again. I retreated until I was backed up against the wall.

  “You’ve been nothing but a nuisance to me since you were born. Your mother should have had an abortion,” he barked in my face.

  Not my best move, but I snorted in his face. “I wished she had, then I wouldn’t have been born to such a bitch and bastard.”

  Daddy dearest slapped me across the face for the comment. “I’ll make you regret going to her and then I will hunt them down and make her regret it by delivering your stupid little cousin to my father.” He chuckled without humour. “I’m sure he’ll have fun with her, like he did with you. I’d hoped he would have taught you a lesson before he’d touched you, but I guess what he did helped in the end. You have always been too weak to stand up for yourself.”

  “You motherfucker,” I hissed. “You knew what he’d do to me,” I spat in his face. He punched me in the stomach. I would have doubled over but his arm came across my chest holding me to the wall.

  “Of course I did. I was the one to offer you up to him in the first place so he’d give me my first million.”

  “You sick fucking bastard,” I coughed. Gaining control over my ragged breath, I leaned my head back against the wall and laughed dryly. “I guess, now you can say that I’m finally standing up for myself, Daddy dearest. You have no control over me anymore. I won’t allow it.” I glared at him. “My aunt and cousin are safe. I no longer have to play your games, old man. So you can fuck right off out of here.” I brought up my fist and punched him in the face; his nose crunched under it. A satisfied smile filled my lips, only to be wiped away when my hand started screaming in pain.

  Fuck. Had I broken it?

  I didn’t have time to worry about it. My eyes widened just before Dad backhanded me, and my head banged into the wall.

  “That’s where you’re wrong.” He grabbed my jaw in a tight unyielding grip and turned my face to him. “I will always have control, Julian. Always.”

  Fight.

  And I did. I tried the best I could, but I was never the fighter, always the lover, and I was already in so much pain from the recent hits. I got a good few in before I slumped to the floor.

  I collapsed and through tears, through the pain, through the agony, I watched and felt my father beat me senseless.

  What surprised me was eventually, after so many seconds, minutes, hours—I wasn’t sure—I stopped feeling.

  My only thought was Mattie, my poppet.

  Maybe that was what kept me alive after my father left.

  Somehow, I stayed conscious enough to drag my beaten body to my phone and call the emergency services.

  However, before I managed it, I watched through lifeless eyes as my father—the man who was supposed to be there for me, teach me, help me—smiled down at me and then walked, while whistling, out of my apartment, never looking back.

  Probably hoping I’d die.

  Mattie

  “Mum,” I called, walking down the hallway from my bedroom. “I’m going to head over to Julian’s,” I added as I made it into the living room before my mobile started to ring.

  “Oh, make sure you give him a big kiss from me,” Mum said as she came into the living room from the kitchen wiping her hands.

  After I sent her an eye roll, I said, “Sure, Mum.” And then I answered my phone to a number I didn’t know. “Hello?”

  “Mattie, it’s Melissa…Mattie, oh, God, Mattie. Julian’s in the hospital. He’s been beaten.” Her voice cracked. “It…it doesn’t look good, Mattie.”

  My blood drained from my body, the phone slipped from my hand and dropped to the floor.

  “Matthew,” Mum yelled. “Honey, what is it?” She was in my face, but I couldn’t say anything. “Rich,” Mum yelled. “RICH,” she screamed. She must have picked up the phone because in the distance, I heard, “Hello, who is this…oh, no. Oh, my God.”

  Julian. Beaten.

  No. Jesus. No.

  Who would do such a thing?

  Christ. My man, my boyfriend, had been beaten and it didn’t look good.

  What…?

  No, I need him.

  He…he couldn’t leave me.

  “Matthew,” Dad barked in my face. “Let’s go, son. We’re going to the hospital.” He took my arm in his hand and started for the front door. “Nancy, grab your bag, honey. Let’s get to Julian.”

  “Yes, yes. Of course,” Mum muttered.

  “Mum.” I swallowed back the sob fighting to get out.

  “Yes, Mattie?’

  “Someone beat him enough for Melissa to say it wasn’t good.” I paused. “Mum.” My bottom lip trembled; tears filled my eyes. “He isn’t good…I can’t…fuck, he isn’t good,” I whispered.

  “He’ll be fine, honey. He’s a fighter. He’ll be fine,” she said, but she didn’t sound sure. My mum was always sure.

  Fear ran through my body.

  Fear rode with us until we arrived at the hospital.

  And it stayed with me in the elevator to floor 5.

  If I was honest with myself, fear stayed with me until I saw Melissa and she took my hand, told me he was unconscious, that the next twenty-four hours were crucial. There was swelling on his brain, internal bleeding and four cracked ribs, add the cuts, bruises and blood that coated some of his body… it was bad. So the fear stayed with me as she led me to Julian’s room. It stayed with me when I walked in.

  Then it fled.

  Fear fled my body.

  What replaced it was fury.

  “Who did that to him?”

  “Mattie, I…”

  “Who?” I yelled.

  “Shh, they will kick you out.”

  “I will not ask again after this, Melissa. Who did that to Julian?”

  She sighed. “His father.”

  “What?” I growled low, menacingly.

  “I told you he’s never had a good relationship with his dad, his mum either. Twice before I’ve heard his father at Julian’s apartment and when I’ve seen Julian after, he’s had a black eye or a cut lip.”

  Holy shit, when Julian had come into football practice bruised, his father had done that to him…his fucking father.

  “He abuses him, Mattie. He’s had control over him for a long time, but Julian just fucked that up by doing something—”

  “What?”

  “It’s not my place to say,” she replied quietly.

  “Melissa, I understand you don’t want to tell me, but I need to know.”

  “His dad was going to send Julian’s cousin to his father’s, Julian’s grandfather, if Julian didn’t stay in the job he got him.”

  “What’s so wrong with that?”

  “Mattie,” Melissa croaked. She licked her lips and looked to Julian, unshed tears in her eyes. “His father sent Julian there when he was young.” She looked back to me, sorrow obvious in her eyes. “Julian’s grandfather beat and raped him, Mattie.”

  My hand went to my stomach. I was going to be sick.

  Fuck!

  FUCK!

  “No.” I heard sobbed behind me. Melissa and I both turned to see my parents standing there. Dad had his arms wrapped around Mum’s shoulders. They’d heard it all and by looking at it, Dad was feeling ill, yet fuming like I was.

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