The Games We Play

by Alexandra Warren

“We still on for the movies today? A young nigga got paid this week, so the popcorns on me.” - Khalid

  I couldn’t help but smile since I knew how much it meant to him to get his first paycheck from the new gig. I was also excited since his broke ass was finally offering to treat. But instead of responding right away, I did as Chance insisted, abandoning my phone and grabbing the room service menu that had way too many exciting options to choose from.

  In fact, my indecisiveness had me still scanning the menu when Chance got out of the shower, a towel around his waist and another around his neck that he used to dab at his hair while asking, “You figure out what you wanna eat?”

  “You,” was what I wanted to answer, damn near hypnotized as I watched him dry off. But I quickly shook out of it to tell him, “This French toast with a fresh berry compote sounds delicious. But you can’t go wrong with a basic Belgian waffle and bacon either.”

  “Order both. I’ll finish whatever you don’t eat,” he said before slipping back into the bathroom.

  And this time, I just had to follow him, stopping at the door to tease, “See. Told you you were a baller, ordering extra meals just because you got it like that.”

  He smirked, exchanging his towel for a fresh pair of boxers when he said, “Company shit. If it was up to me, we’d be down at McDonald’s or somethin’. Have your ass ballin’ out with a hotcakes and sausage platter.”

  “Is it really sausage though?” I asked, my face scrunched since I wasn’t sure there was a lick of real meat anywhere near that place.

  Not that I didn’t indulge on occasion… especially after too much liquor. But I called myself growing up and getting my breakfast and burgers to-go from actual restaurants rather than always relying on the clown for a quick fix.

  Instead of answering my question, Chance made his way to the phone to place our orders, his choice of blueberry pancakes, eggs, and fresh fruit making me feel like I hadn’t made the right decision since his sounded good too. But before I could change my mind, he finished the call and asked, “So, was that concert as dope as you made it look on Snapchat? Or were you just showing off cause you had special access?”

  While I had definitely taken advantage of our premium seats and VIP status, I would’ve been lying if I said anything other than, “Oh my gosh, Chance. It was… out of this world. Like, I’ve always been a fan of hers, even in her early days. But now? I stan. And she’s super, super sweet. Her and my mother practically became instant friends.”

  “Miss. Annie will make a friend out of anybody,” Chance replied with a little chuckle, sitting at the edge of the bed to lotion up. And once again, I couldn’t help but watch, his every movement worth appreciating since he looked so damn good doing it.

  But I didn’t want to get too caught up in my feelings about it, instead trying my best to keep things normal between us when I asked, “What’d you end up doing yesterday? Playing Extreme Home Makeover with ol’ Shelly again?”

  I was only teasing him since there was really nothing she could’ve said or done that would’ve stopped me from getting to this moment. But I was glad to hear him answer, “I was actually working on the house with M.J. and your brother. M.J. uh… he kinda knows about us.”

  “Knows what?” I asked in a slight panic, the fact that M.J. had a mouth bigger than a Big Bertha arcade game enough to make anyone nervous.

  And I became especially concerned when Chance struggled to even look at me when he explained, “That we’re… messing around.”

  “Why does he know that? Did you say something? Were you… talking about me?” I rattled off, my nerves shot as I imagined being the topic of their conversation. And if Eric was there too…

  My processing was interrupted with Chance answering, “Not exactly. He saw the picture you sent and put two and two together on his own. He said he wasn’t going to say anything to Eric though.”

  So my brother doesn’t know anything after all?

  “Thank God,” I sighed, my shoulders sinking with relief.

  Though they tensed right back up when Chance asked, “Why are you so afraid of him finding out about us?”

  Afraid wasn’t the word I would’ve chosen since Eric’s overprotective ass wasn’t getting in the way of anything I had going on. But I suppose it was more of a privacy thing, allowing me to tell Chance, “It’s just… not his business. Isn’t something he needs to know about, or anyone for that matter.”

  “Does Khalid know?”

  As if he’d asked a stupid question, I almost started laughing when I answered, “Of course he knows. He’s my best friend.”

  “And Eric is mine.”

  “Walked right into that one, Londyn…” I thought, quickly trying to come up with a way to make sense of everything. And while it might’ve been a weak argument, I had nothing better than, “But he was my brother first. Meaning if I want him to know about us, I’ll be the one to tell him. Not you, or M.J., or… anyone else.”

  With perfect timing, there was a knock at the door from room service, the arrival of the food providing the perfect transition out of what had surprisingly turned into a tense conversation. And while I wished it could’ve all just blown over with the click of our silverware against the plates, it didn’t take long for me to realize that would be the only sounds being made between us since Chance obviously still felt a way.

  Well… at least it seemed like he still felt a way, his eyes focused strictly on his plate as he picked around it deep in thought. And since I wasn’t one to let things go unacknowledged, I sat my own fork down to ask, “Why do I feel like you’re mad at me?”

  He shrugged, avoiding my eyes when he answered, “I don’t know. I’m not though. More so, grateful for the clarity.”

  His response was supposed to help me understand. But instead it only confused me even more as I repeated, “Grateful for the clarity? What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Once again, he shrugged, this time more like he was shaking something off his shoulders as he rattled, “Nothing. Forget I said anything. I’m good. We’re good. Now let me get a piece of that waffle.”

  I looked back down at my plate and saw I was already a good halfway through it, then peeked over at the French toast I wasn’t as in love with and told him, “You can have the French toast. This waffle is mine.”

  You would’ve thought I had offered him trash the way his face twisted in disgust when he asked, “The French toast you already picked over? It must be nasty.”

  “It’s not nasty. Just not as good as the waffle. Here. Try it,” I insisted, jabbing at a piece I had already cut with my fork and dipping it into the compote before pushing it his way. And after giving it a skeptical eye, he accepted the bite, already moaning in satisfaction when I slipped the fork from his mouth.

  “Was all that moaning really necessary?” I asked teasingly, knowing good and well the shit was like music to my ears.

  Chance knew it too, licking the powdered sugar from his lips as he replied, “You sure didn’t seem to mind it last night…”

  “You’re right. Have another bite,” I told him with a smirk, repeating the process of feeding him a piece. And this time, he gave an especially enthusiastic moan, the vibrations shooting straight between my thighs as I warned, “You better quit.”

  He laughed, speaking through chews, “You know, some dude is gonna be really lucky to have you one day. I mean, you got a good job, good head on your shoulders, fine as hell, perfect pussy, incredible head game, stingy but in like a sweet way...”

  Since his compliments were getting a little sketchy, I decided to cut him off with, “One day? Maybe. Definitely not any time soon though. I mean, I just have way too much stuff going on to deal with anyone full-time.”

  “I guess I make that easier for you, huh?” he asked, sneaking another piece of French toast from my plate as he waited for me to respond.

  “Between you and Khalid, my needs are certainly met,” I told him honestly, feeling more than taken care of with the bot
h of them in my life. I mean, Khalid was a good, reliable friend and Chance was becoming a good, reliable lover; the two of them filling in any man-ish voids I might have felt being a single woman.

  But while I thought nothing of it, I could see Chance’s attitude brewing, his eyebrows furrowed when he asked, “Can you like… not do that? Ever again?”

  “Do what?”

  “Put me and your little bestie in the same sentence about meeting needs. I can do what he does. He can’t do what I do,” he replied with a thick bravado as if the two were even in competition.

  Still, it was… sexy.

  “So you’re telling me you could listen to me whine on a daily, buy me junk food whenever I’m feeling crabby, come to the nail shop with me for pedicures, and do whatever it takes for the best angles during photo ops?” I challenged, knowing there was definitely much more to Khalid’s role in my life than that.

  But those were the first things that came to mind, and the first things Chance seemed convinced were nothing when he answered, “All that, plus give you good dick that would make at least half of those problems disappear anyway.”

  I wholeheartedly believed him, knew he was more than capable. But since I also knew his capable ass wouldn’t be around after next month meaning it was useless to get my hopes up, I instead chose to gush, “Wow. I sense some arrogance here.”

  He shrugged, digging into his bowl of fruit as he replied, “Just giving you the facts. But uh… why didn’t you and ol’ boy ever hook up then? If he’s so good at meeting your needs.”

  “Should’ve known this was coming…” I thought, picking around my plate as I realized how I’d pretty much walked right into this the same way I had walked into his little comments earlier.

  Gots to be mo’ careful.

  “Do you want the honest answer or do you want me to protect your ego?” I asked teasingly, deciding there was nothing to be uncomfortable about since it wasn’t like Khalid and I had done anything wrong.

  My question had Chance all in, dropping his silverware to lean in and reply, “Come on now, Londyn. Give me the real.”

  I averted my eyes, getting him even more on edge before I finally pushed out, “Well the real is… we did kind of hook up. Back in college. And it was incredibly awkward to the point that Khalid had to save us from going further than necessary to figure out it wasn’t going to work. The chemistry just... wasn’t there. But by then, we had already become really good friends. So it was either move on from it like it didn’t happen or not be friends anymore. We chose the former. Eventually.”

  My plans to stay away from Khalid forever didn’t last for more than a week once I realized just how much of a fixture he was in my life. I mean, eating in the dining halls wasn’t as fun alone, walking to class clear across campus wasn’t as lively if I didn’t run into him on the way, and when I got a flat tire just before I was set to drive the hour home for the weekend, he was the only one I knew to call. A real one who not only changed my tire, but filled my tank with gas and talked to me on the phone for the entire drive because the weather was a mess.

  “Who made the first move? You or him?” Chance asked, knocking me from my thoughts of the past while also taking me back to that time once I realized what he had said.

  “Why does it matter?” I challenged, thinking the details were irrelevant since they meant absolutely nothing now.

  Still, Chance seemed pressed to know, looking me square on when he said, “It just does. So…”

  “I did. And I don’t regret it,” I finally answered with a shrug before returning to my food.

  But I almost lost my damn appetite when Chance followed up with, “Do you still have feelings for him?”

  “For who? Khalid? Hell no. I mean, of course I love him as my friend. But like, romantic feelings? I’m pretty sure those drained out the week after that situation happened,” I answered with a laugh.

  A laugh and an answer that Chance seemed satisfied with when he simply replied, “Good to know.”

  Since he wanted to take trips to the past - and the present -, I decided to do the same, abandoning my food for good to ask a tough question of my own. “Do you still have feelings for Michelle?”

  The same way I had laughed about Khalid, he laughed about her, brushing me off when he insisted, “That was legit more than a decade ago, LoLo. But to be honest, I don’t know if I ever had feelings for Michelle.”

  “What? You took the girl’s virginity and you didn’t even have real feelings for her?” I asked, torn between wanting to be mad for her, and… not giving a damn about her.

  Instead of answering my question, Chance’s face scrunched with amusement. “How do you even know that?”

  “Uh… did you forget my room was right next to Eric’s growing up? Y’all used to be loud as hell, bragging to each other about who was doing what, who was smashin’ who, who got a blowjob from who behind the bleachers...”

  “Well can I tell you a secret?” he asked, waiting for me to nod before he admitted, “She took mine too.”

  “What? Yeah right. Y’all didn’t even date until…”

  “Senior year. I know,” he finished for me with a grin and a sigh, almost as if he was glad to finally get his secret out.

  In fact, he seemed a little too relieved, forcing me to ask, “Am I the only one who knows about this? Are we... having a moment right now? Cause it kinda feels like we are.”

  He gave me his signature smirk, sitting back in his chair and locking his hands behind his head when he replied, “Your shit about your dad is safe with me. So I assume this is safe with you.”

  I nodded. “It is. But like… when you, Eric, and M.J. used to…”

  “Faked it ‘til I made it, baby. Porn can teach you quite a bit once you get past the goofy storylines,” he insisted with a laugh that had me laughing too since… who watches porn for the storylines?

  My smile didn’t stop as I snuck a sip from my mimosa, enjoying this conversation - enjoying him - even when I teased, “And here I thought you were just out here screwing everything that walked back then because you were fine enough to do so…”

  “Nope. I mean, college got a little crazy as expected. But back then? I was chillin’.”

  While I wanted to call bullshit, it honestly made sense. Chance had always been the chill type, the one everyone got along with, the one who stayed out of the way… mostly. But it was those things that made him unique, with the type of energy that didn’t call for attention but attracted it anyway.

  It was… alluring; even still. And though I wasn’t supposed to be feeling anything more than inches of the most prized possession between his thighs, I couldn’t help myself when I told him, “Yeah. For you to be so popular, you were always pretty lowkey. Something I admired.”

  “So you were checkin’ for me back then?” he asked, his eyebrow piqued teasingly as if he had caught me red-handed.

  But I wasn’t going out that easily, twisting my lips as I replied, “I noticed you. You were there, or whatever.”

  His presence may not have meant as much back then, but it was definitely potent now, steadily taunting me into a place I refused to go since I knew it would be no time at all before he’d be skipping back out of town. But that didn’t mean he was going to make remaining detached any easier for me, serving me that sexy smirk when he offered, “Well if it makes you feel any better, I noticed you too.”

  Chance

  “Man, I can’t believe you’re really hittin’ that.”

  M.J.’s words shook me right out of the trance I hadn’t even realized I was in, the both of us staring at Londyn from across the room as we waited for Miss. Annie to make her television debut. The interview segment had been recorded much earlier, giving plenty of time to make plans for the watch party we were all attending. But attending the watch party meant being around Londyn without the ability to touch her since we were still keeping things lowkey.

  The shit was practically punishment.

  We had
been at it nonstop, using any free time we both had over the past two weeks to make good on the “opportunity” she had presented. But even with that, I still found myself craving her constantly, wanting more than just the sex she was offering since every time we fucked somehow turned into a conversation that only made her more intriguing.

  Dangerous territory.

  I mean, I wasn’t supposed to be checkin’ for Londyn at all, let alone fuckin’ her on the regular. But to be legitimately falling for her? That seemed completely out of bounds, especially since it didn’t seem as if Londyn felt anywhere near the same way.

  Of course she’d flirt, drop little hints, do things and give looks that maybe spoke louder than she realized. But then she’d always reel it back in, remind me - or herself - that I’d be gone soon, almost as if that was her reasoning for staying at an arm’s distance outside of her house or my hotel suite. And honestly, it probably made the most sense, getting real feelings involved just a disaster waiting to happen.

  So instead of letting myself get any more invested in the possibility, I did my best to play it as cool as she was, shrugging when I told M.J., “You don’t have to believe something you aren’t even supposed to know about.”

  “But I do know. And now that I’m in the same room as y’all, I’m just waiting for some hot shit to pop off,” he replied with a grin, crossing his arms over his chest as his eyes bounced back and forth between the two of us.

  But the truth was, “Nothing is gonna pop off, man. We enjoy each other when we do. And when we’re not on that, we’re not on… anything.”

  “So y’all just out here doing the secret lovers thing then, huh?” M.J. asked, his hand under his chin as if he was really trying to figure us out. And maybe I was too, truly fascinated by the way Londyn could go from being all over me to not at all worried about me, not even sneaking a glance my way since I’d been here. But I suppose it was because she was a little more invested in the whole secrecy thing than I was, determined to sell the fact that we weren’t involved to her family as if the shit really mattered.