Life According to Og the Frog

by Betty G. Birney

  Maybe she’s starting to understand me!

  Then she tells Tabitha that she can take Humphrey home for the weekend (as if his squeaking and screeching is a treat). Tabitha looks as happy as a toad in a mud puddle.

  I’m hoppy that she is happy.

  In fact, I sigh a great sigh of relief. Maybe now I can stop and smell the lily pads. Or at least try to remember what lily pads smell like.

  I’m hoping the rest of the week will be easy peasy, but there are a lot of bad moods when the big tads don’t do well on an important math test. Mrs. Brisbane isn’t pleased, and neither are her students. But our teacher is not ready to give up.

  She gives each of the big tads a study guide and says, “We will try again. We will be having a math test on Tuesday, so please spend some time reviewing what we’ve learned.”

  Mandy’s hand goes up. “Do we have to have another test?” she moans. “Because—”

  “Mandy?” Mrs. Brisbane gives her a look. Even I know what that look means.

  Mandy quickly glances over at my tank. I grin at her until my mouth aches and hop up and down.

  She smiles. “Never mind,” she tells Mrs. Brisbane.

  I’m hoppy to be of service to our teacher!

  “Put the study guides in your backpacks so you won’t forget them,” she tells the big tads as the bell rings.

  * * *

  Recess is usually calm and quiet if my furry neighbor doesn’t squeak too much, but this day, it’s anything but calm. Just when I think nothing Humphrey can do will surprise me, I’m amazed.

  When the room is empty, Humphrey flings open his cage door, grabs hold of the table leg and slides down to the floor!

  “Settle down, Humphrey,” I try to tell him. “Be careful!”

  But Humphrey has some kind of plan, I guess, because he skitters across the floor as fast as a water strider bug being chased by a beaky bird.

  I can hardly believe my great big eyes as Humphrey races straight to Seth’s backpack, which is on the floor next to his table.

  What in the swamp is he doing?

  I think his small brain must have gone haywire.

  I watch as he uses his tiny sharp teeth to pull out the study guide Mrs. Brisbane just handed out. Why doesn’t he want Seth to study?

  Next, he drags the study guide all the way over to Tabitha’s chair. He stops to look up at her backpack. If he’s thinking of climbing up there, he’ll have to learn how to fly.

  “Be careful, little guy!” I shout.

  The next thing I know, Humphrey takes his two front paws and grabs onto a cord hanging down from the zipper on Tabitha’s backpack and tries to pull himself up.

  “Tabitha already has a study guide!” I tell him.

  I glance at the clock and am shocked to see that minute arrow moving extremely fast!

  “Hurry back!” I try to warn him, although I have no idea how he’s going to slide UP the table leg. It’s a long way from the floor to the table, and I don’t think I could do it even with my powerful leaps.

  But it’s too late! The bell signaling the end of recess blares. Alarmed, Humphrey drops the study guide and races back to the table.

  “Hurry!” I tell him.

  And then the most incredible thing happens! Humphrey jumps and grabs the long cord hanging from the blinds and swings back and forth, higher and higher each time.

  I hate to admit it, but Humphrey is one strong and fast hamster!

  But . . . can he catch a fly with his tongue? I don’t think so!

  My heart is pounding as the cord swings up to the top of the table.

  “Careful!” I warn him.

  And even though I can’t believe my own eyes, when the cord is as high as the table, Humphrey lets go, flies onto the tabletop, and slides past my tank and straight to his cage.

  He pulls the cage door closed just as Mrs. Brisbane enters the room.

  I see him panting as he crawls under his bedding. He looks so small and so tired.

  “Way to go!” I tell him. I really hope he understands me!

  Mrs. Brisbane looks around the room. “Why is the cord swinging like that?” she asks aloud.

  “SQUEAK!” I don’t understand exactly what Humphrey’s saying, but he sounds worried. Of course he is! If Mrs. Brisbane finds out why the cord is swinging, they’ll probably lock him up and throw away the key!

  I’m not sure what he was trying to do with the study guide, but I know he had a reason.

  Mrs. Brisbane heads toward the cord and I decide to help the little fellow out.

  “Look at me! Yoo-hoo, over here!” I shout in my best boings. Then I hop into my water dish and splash as hard as I can. All that weekend exercise has paid off!

  Mrs. Brisbane turns toward me and tells me to calm down. Luckily, right then the rest of the students stream into the classroom, making enough commotion to distract Mrs. Brisbane from our table . . . and, most important, from the cord, which has now stopped swinging.

  Once the big tads are settled in their chairs, I hear a tiny squeak. It’s Humphrey.

  Is he saying thank you? Or am I just imagining things?

  “You’re welcome,” I answer. Maybe this time he even understands me.

  The poor little guy looks frazzled. I’m a little frazzled myself, so I plop into my water and try to Be.

  It’s not easy to Be when you have a hamster for a neighbor.

  I can’t help noticing that just before the bell rings to signal the end of the day, Mrs. Brisbane spots the study guide on the floor next to Tabitha’s chair.

  “Put that in your backpack, please,” she tells Tabitha. “You’ll need it for your homework this weekend.”

  Tabitha quickly puts the study guide in her backpack.

  “No! It’s not hers!” I say. “It’s Seth’s!”

  Humphrey squeaks at me. I don’t understand him, but I can tell that he knows something I don’t know.

  I think Humphrey has some kind of plan. I don’t know if it will work, but he’s trying.

  Tabitha should try like Humphrey. Maybe I should, too.

  * * *

  I am looking forward to spending a nice, quiet weekend in Room 26 when Tabitha’s mom comes to take Humphrey home for the weekend.

  “Carol, say hello to Og,” Tabitha says, pulling her toward my tank. “He’s so funny and cool. Can we take him home, too?”

  “Humphrey travels better,” Mrs. Brisbane says. “Og’s tank is heavier, and he needs to have the temperature controlled. Taking care of him is a little more challenging than taking care of Humphrey.”

  Personally, I like a challenge. But I think Mrs. Brisbane is trying to keep me safe, and I appreciate that.

  It’s been a thrilling day—even more exciting than a water moccasin wrestling match back in the swamp!

  But I’m surprised to see that Humphrey looks a little sad as he’s carried out of Room 26. Is his squeak a good-bye to me? Or is it a thank-you?

  Magic in the Air

  RUM-RUM. RUM-RUM. RUM-RUM. RUM-RUM! There they go, the bully bullfrogs again . . . bellowing away like they do every evening. Really, they give frogs a bad name! They also give me a big fat headache! I wish they’d just go away. Instead, I’m the one who went away—but I didn’t mean to!

  Oops. I nodded off again. It is soooo quiet with no bullfrogs here and my neighbor gone for the weekend. Total peace and quiet. Ah, the swamp was never like this.

  I am content to float in the water. After a while, I break into song—a tune that Uncle Chinwag taught me:

  I sing a hoppy frog song,

  I sing my song out loud

  So everybody hears me

  And knows that I am proud!

  I sing because I’m happy,

  I sing because I’m sad,

  I sing because it feels good


  And that makes me so glad.

  I sing a hoppy frog song

  With jolly words that rhyme,

  And since you like my frog song,

  I’ll sing it one more time!

  It’s a song without any end, so I sing many verses until Aldo comes in to clean.

  “Hiya, Og, old pal,” he greets me. “I heard you all the way down the hall.”

  He’s friendly as usual, but he seems lost in thought as he does his work and leaves quickly.

  The room is beautifully clean. No muck, no mud, no cattails, no pond scum.

  I spend a very quiet evening and go to sleep early.

  But in the morning, when the sunbeams warm my tank, it’s back to my workouts. After all, as Granny Greenleaf says, “Be strong, live long.”

  Which is true . . . unless a wily water moccasin catches you off guard.

  My morning is spent splashing and leaping. Once I leap so high, I touch the lid of my tank. That’s a first!

  I do more jumping jacks than I’ve ever done before (though I always miss my pal Jack when I do them).

  I stop to give my muscles a break, and I am SHOCKED when the door to Room 26 opens and a mysterious figure who looks as wide as she is tall comes in.

  “Og! Are you all right?” a familiar voice asks.

  It’s Mrs. Brisbane, all bundled up for cold weather. She hurries over to my tank.

  “I couldn’t sleep a wink last night. All I could think about was how cold it was. And I know that when the temperature drops, frogs go into hibernation!”

  “I’m just fine!” I tell her, bouncing up and down to show her I’m not hibernating.

  “Oh, Og! Thank goodness!” she says. “The students love to watch you and listen to you, and they’d be so disappointed and worried if you started hibernating.”

  Really? Disappointed and worried?

  Hibernation is really just a nice, cozy nap, but I’d hate to miss out on all the activity in Room 26.

  I want to see if Gail and Heidi make up and if Tabitha makes more friends.

  I want to see if Mandy stops complaining—at least a little bit.

  I want to hear more jokes from Kirk and Mr. Brisbane.

  And I’m very curious to see what wacky thing my funny, furry neighbor, Humphrey, does next!

  * * *

  Ah, life at the Brisbanes’ house! What more can any creature ask for?

  Mr. Brisbane generously feeds me a cricket while his wife is out of the room.

  I am busily digesting my treat . . . but when Mrs. Brisbane starts talking about me, I start to feel queasy.

  “I found someone from the university to help us sort out this idea that Og should go back to the swamp,” she tells her husband.

  “What do you think he’ll say?” Mr. Brisbane wonders.

  “She,” Mrs. Brisbane says. “I really don’t know. Whatever she suggests, some students are bound to be disappointed.” She sighs.

  “You worry about Room Twenty-six too much,” Mr. Brisbane says.

  “I can’t help it. But the good news is, Tabitha is getting more comfortable in class,” Mrs. Brisbane tells her husband. “She and Seth have something in common. They both love sports.”

  Unlike Humphrey and me, Tabitha and Seth speak the same language. I hope they’ll be friends, too.

  “And Mandy is complaining less,” she says. “Thanks to Og!”

  “I’m trying,” I tell her.

  “Gail and Heidi are still at war, though,” Mrs. Brisbane continues. “I thought they’d make up by now.”

  Mr. Brisbane pats her hand. “They’ll have to work this out themselves, Sue.”

  Just like Granny Greenleaf, Mrs. Brisbane is always thinking about her tads.

  She looks so sad, I hop up and down on my rock. “Don’t worry, Mrs. B!” I shout. “Problems have a way of working themselves out.”

  I’m just repeating what Granny Greenleaf said. The Brisbanes chuckle and turn their attention to watching me.

  I try to be as interesting as possible.

  * * *

  Later that night, I think about what Mrs. Brisbane said about Tabitha and Seth. The Brisbanes want them to be friends . . . and so do I.

  And—hold on! Maybe Humphrey does, too. Could that be why he moved Seth’s study guide? He must have wanted Tabitha to have them both so maybe they’d have to get together over the weekend.

  That would be a pretty bold and smart plan. I wonder if it worked.

  If it did, I feel pretty hopping good about having helped him, at least a little bit.

  Then, my thoughts turn to the “she” from the university who is going to help the big tads decide whether I go or stay.

  I’m still not sure what to wish for.

  If I stay, I’m stuck in a tank. Plus, I have a “job” as a classroom pet that I don’t completely understand yet.

  If I go, it’s back to beaky birds, wily water snakes and sneaky snapping turtles, or even worse, a painful shortage of food!

  * * *

  On Monday, I watch carefully to see if anything changed over the weekend.

  When Heidi sticks her tongue out at Gail (who returns the gesture), I know nothing has changed there.

  But Tabitha and Seth laugh and talk before class starts.

  “Thanks for inviting me over,” Seth says. “I’m glad you got my study guide. That was an awesome basketball game.”

  “Yes . . . and I hope we both get A’s on the test,” Tabitha replies.

  So they did get together over the weekend. Humphrey’s plan worked! (With a tiny bit of help from me.)

  I see that another one of Humphrey’s plans worked later in the week when Aldo comes in way before it’s time to clean the classroom. Then I remember that he’s supposed to teach a lesson.

  I can’t really make head or tail out of what he’s doing with little squares of paper and the big tads running around looking at things in the classroom—even me.

  That gives me plenty of time to dive and swim laps.

  Later, I’m hoppy to hear Mrs. Brisbane tell Aldo, “You are a born teacher.”

  He and his mustache burst into a great big smile.

  * * *

  As the week goes on, I pay a little more attention to the other things Humphrey does to help the big tads.

  When Gail and Heidi talk to him (not together, of course), he listens sympathetically to each of them. And when Art stares out the window instead of listening in class, Humphrey squeaks at him until he pays attention again. When Mrs. Brisbane calls on him, Art actually knows the answer!

  He even helps the grown-ups. Humphrey offers very encouraging squeaks when Aldo seems worried, and he always seems to cheer up Mrs. Brisbane.

  I have to admit, he helps me by waking me up when there’s something important happening in the classroom.

  And each evening, he opens that cage door and comes over to squeak at me.

  At least I used to think he squeaked at me. Now I realize he’s squeaking to me.

  He can’t understand me, but Humphrey always tries.

  Pretty soon, I realize I’m trying to be more helpful, too. Especially when Tabitha talks to me—which is every single day.

  “Og? Did you hear that song Mrs. Brisbane sang to me?” she asks one day.

  “BOING-BOING! I sure did!” I reply.

  “I think I found a new silver friend,” she says. “Seth is pretty nice, for a boy.”

  “BING-BANG-BOING!” I agree.

  After she returns to her chair, I’m a little low. I have lots of gold friends—my old friends in the swamp, like Jumpin’ Jack, Silly Gilly and Uncle Chinwag.

  I’d like to keep my new silver friends, too.

  So I sing Mrs. Brisbane’s song.

  BOING-BOING-BOING,

 
; BOING BOING BOING BO-ING!

  BOING BOING BOING-BOING

  BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING!

  Before the other students come back into Room 26, Mrs. Brisbane tells Tabitha a secret. “No one knows it yet, but we’re about to have a really special visitor,” she says.

  I guess she forgot that I know about the surprise guest, too. I just don’t know what she’ll think of me.

  Call the Doctor

  TRY HARDER, GRANNY Greenleaf tells me. “Don’t climb the rock—jump over it! You can do it.” But I’m just a little tad, and I can’t jump very high yet. “Use a little leg power. You won’t hop high unless you try,” she says.

  “I’ll try,” I promise.

  I’m used to having guests in Room 26. Parents come into the classroom sometimes, and of course, Aldo comes every night during the week.

  Sometimes Principal Morales drops in, always wearing a different tie.

  But on this day, a total stranger comes into the room. It’s our surprise visitor!

  Mrs. Brisbane prepares us for this unusual event first. “Class, since we are dealing with the issue of whether Og belongs in the classroom—”

  That gets my attention, and I’m afraid I let out an extra-loud “BOING!”

  I’m waiting to hear Humphrey’s excited squeaks, but he’s still in his little house, sleeping. I guess I would be, too, after the long workout he had on the wheel.

  Mrs. Brisbane laughs. “That got Og’s attention! Anyway, I decided to bring in an expert—a herpetologist from the university.”

  “Her-pa—what?” That’s A.J. in his loud voice.

  “Herpetologist,” Mrs. Brisbane patiently explains. “A person who studies amphibians like Og, and reptiles like snakes.”

  Some of the big tads say, “Oooh!”

  “Way to go!” I shout. I never heard of a herpetologist before, but I like this human already.

  Mrs. Brisbane continues. “The herpetologist will talk to us about releasing captured frogs into the wild. We need more information before we make a decision,” Mrs. Brisbane continues. “And Dr. Okeke is an expert.”