Through Phantom Eyes: Volume Five - Christine

by Theodora Bruns

  I reached the wharf and shoved the fool’s head hard up against a pillar. Then I turned quickly and started swimming back toward my home, thinking that should teach him to try to enter my domain. I was maybe six strokes away from the wharf when I heard my name called out by a familiar voice. Then I stopped and turned around.

  “Oded?”

  I swam back and found him still clinging to the pillar, so I lifted myself up on the wharf and helped him up. After getting to my feet, I lit a lantern and stood over him.

  “Oded, you fool. What do you think you’re doing? I could have killed you. Are you sure you aren’t Irish? With the number of times I’ve almost done you in, you surely must be carrying their luck.”

  “I could also ask you what you thought you were doing. Do you often try to kill those who get too close to your lair, Erik?”

  Moving my dripping hair from my face, I rebuked him, “I wasn’t trying to kill you, you fool. If I had been, you’d be at the bottom of the lake by now, along with the lantern. That cold bath was only a warning, but then you don’t know how to take warnings, do you? You’re such an imbecile! I thought our last conversation was clear. I just want to be left alone. This desire of mine isn’t hurting anyone. Why did you do this, Oded? Why can’t you just respect my privacy?”

  He got to his feet and then answered me. “Because there’s a young lady who’s missing, Erik, and you’re the first person who came to mind.”

  “Oh, thank you, my friend,” I responded with a contemptuous tone. “Do you automatically think it must be Erik’s doing every time something goes wrong?” He couldn’t answer. “Go away from here, Oded, and leave me in peace while you still can.”

  I started to turn to dive into the lake again when he grabbed my arm. “There are those who are frightened for Mademoiselle Daaé. The Vicomte Raoul de Chagny for one, and he has the police looking for her. Wouldn’t you rather have me find you down here than them?”

  “I’d rather be left alone. But no matter. They’ll never find me, Oded; not unless you’re heading up the search. Is that what you’re doing now? Are you the advance party? Will you go back now and tell them what direction to look in?”

  He started rubbing his arms and shivered. “No, Erik. I only want to make sure she’s safe. I know you won’t harm her, but, if you don’t have her, please tell me, so we can stop looking within these walls and start looking elsewhere.”

  After a moment of gazing out over the water, I answered him. “Yes, she’s with me, but she’ll be returning soon. I only asked her to stay for four days—that’s all.”

  He moved in front of me and looked into my eyes. “Why four days, Erik?”

  “I wanted her to come to know me without being frightened of me, and that would take time. I couldn’t simply walk up to her and ask her to accompany me to dinner like any other man in Paris, now could I? She has to come to know me so she can make an educated decision.”

  “Decision? About what, Erik?”

  “About whether or not she wants to stay with me.”

  He frowned. “Stay with you?”

  I turned on him with contempt. “Yes, is that so absurd to think that a woman like Christine would want to stay with a man like me? Someone else wanted to, remember?” There was silence before I asked, “Will you go away peacefully and let me have this one chance?”

  “I know you, Erik, and I know the power you can have over people, especially women. Are you certain you want her to have an educated decision or a seduced one?”

  I ground my teeth, first turning away from him in anger and then turning back toward him with clenched fists.

  “How dare you! Remember, Oded, she’s not your daughter, and I’m no longer under your jurisdiction with a leash wrapped tightly around my neck. I know what I’m doing, and I don’t want what you’re suggesting. How dare you, you ignorant, meddling nuisance! How dare you! I should thoroughly thrash you and send you back into the blackness of my lake for what you’re suggesting.”

  He didn’t respond, and he didn’t move. I growled and turned away from him, wrapping my fingers behind my neck before I followed through on my threat.

  I looked over my shoulder at him and snarled in frustration. “Just for your information, and not that I care what you think about me but I do care what you think about Christine, I still haven’t received my first kiss. And, furthermore, I have no intention of ever receiving it unless she initiates it from her heart. I won’t receive one until then. Years ago, perhaps, but not now.

  “My first kiss is almost sacred to me now, since I’ve waited so long for it. And I don’t intend for it to be anything other than what it should be, something exquisitely special. I don’t intend to steal a kiss from her, Oded, or to steal anything else from her for that matter. If I were to seduce her, and I’m sure I could if I really tried, then I would be stealing it from her, and I don’t want that. I won’t accept a kiss from her until I know it’s for real.”

  “How will you know the difference, Erik? How will you know if she’s under your spell or if she’s giving her heart to you?”

  I turned to face him with a softer tone. “Because a special young girl, who I met a lifetime ago in a far away land, taught me the difference. She taught me how to read the language of the eyes, and the eyes don’t lie, Oded. The tongue quite often does, but not the eyes—at least not to me. I won’t accept that first kiss until I see in Christine’s eyes that language that tells me she loves me and wants to spend her life with me.

  “Over these last two days I could have taken that kiss; she would have been willing, but I haven’t and I won’t. Not until it’s right. You don’t need to fear for her, but you do need to trust me, and leave me alone. I’m not asking you to stay away from here, Oded, I’m telling you. Don’t come down here again. Next time, the luck of the Irish may not accompany you.”

  I turned once more, preparing to dive in the water, and once more he grabbed my arm. With a sigh of frustration and a look of annoyance, I turned back. “What now?”

  “One more thing, do you know anything about the chandelier tragedy?”

  Raising my hands in the air, I huffed. “Why do you automatically think I know something about everything that goes wrong around here?”

  “Remember, Erik, don’t get on the defensive or you only increase my curiosity.”

  “Is that a threat, Oded?”

  “No, just the truth, Erik.”

  “Well, you need to remember, my friend, you’re the only man who has ever come so close to me, and the skills I’m not proud of, and on so many occasions and still lived to talk about them.”

  “Is that a threat, Erik?”

  “No, just the truth, Oded.”

  “By that comment, I figure you do know something about it then?” he insinuated while running his fingers across his beard in thought.

  Sighing deeply, I answered as truthfully as I was going to. “It was a tragic accident. I also wanted to know how it happened, so I did my own investigating. The result: I found the metal supports for the counterbalance had been damaged by what looked like heat. Perhaps it was a small electrical fire that burnt itself out before being detected. Perhaps it happened during the war; that’s the best scenario. It’s really a wonder and a blessing that more weren’t hurt or killed.”

  He looked at me with narrowed eyes, trying to read mine, and then responded, “Yes, it surely was. No one likes to see anyone get hurt, right, Erik? Oh, by the way, because César has been missing so often, the entire stable has been fired, with the exception of Lachenel, the stud groom. I hope the men who were fired didn’t have families to support.”

  He got his message across easily. I was causing others harm when I was certain I wouldn’t.

  “Point noted, Oded. Now go home.”

  Before he had a chance to say or do anything else, I dove in and swam home. On the way there, I told myself that I had to find that old boat and sink it before another fool made the mistake of trespassing into my domain.
/>   By the time I got back and put on dry clothes, I was quite agitated. That meddling fool was getting too close. It began with him appearing on the main floors of the opera house much too often, and then he started searching the cellars, but now he was actually on my lake. He was too close. I reasoned, the next thing I know he’ll be knocking on my door.

  His actions had me too tense to sleep, but I knew I should try. So I poured myself a small glass of brandy, turned out all the lights, and stretched out on the divan. After a few swallows, I put my hands behind my neck and gazed at the remainder of the coals in the fireplace changing colors.

  I was still thinking about Oded and how I could prevent him from getting any closer, without doing him harm that is, when I heard Christine’s door open. I looked up at her as she entered the parlor and thought; she’s exactly what I need to soothe my spirit. But then she threw herself back against the doorframe, covered her face with her hands, and shrieked.

  Twenty-Eight

  “What is it, Christine?” I questioned quickly while jumping to my feet. “Did you see a rat?”

  I glanced around, looking for a rat while closing the space between us, while she shook her head and cowered in the doorway.

  “Then what’s wrong? Is it a spider? Show me where it is and I’ll relocate it.” By then I was next to her and could see her trembling. I took her shoulders in my hands to comfort her, but it seemed to make matters worse. “What’s wrong, Christine? Did you see someone?”

  Then I thought about Oded, and my own heart skipped a beat. I turned quickly and ran to all my doors, checked them, and searched each room, even the trap door in the ceiling above her bed. Then, with panic filling my gut, I ran to the wall to the mirror chamber and leaned against it, listening closely. That lasted only a few seconds before I realized I was being ridiculous. She’d evidently seen something that frightened her and she couldn’t see into the mirror chamber. So I went back to her.

  “Christine, please tell me what frightened you.”

  “Erik . . . Erik . . .”

  “Oh, Christine, please, for the love of God, please, talk to me.”

  Her face was still down, so I placed my fingers under her chin and tried to lift her face, but she turned away.

  Then she barely whispered, “Please, turn the lights on.”

  “Certainly,” I immediately answered and began moving around my home until they were all on.

  “I’m sorry,” she finally offered. “I shouldn’t have screamed. I’m sorry.”

  “Can you tell me now what’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?”

  “No, it wasn’t that.”

  “Then, please, tell me what it was. What did you see?”

  She slowly looked up into my eyes. “Raoul was right.”

  “What?” I questioned out of confusion. “How did he get in this conversation?”

  Her head shook. “The lighting made . . . .” Her head shook more. “Don’t be mad at me.”

  “I’m not going to be mad at you, Christine, but please tell me what happened.”

  “Your eyes . . . your eyes glowed like a flame.”

  “What?” I gasped and backed away from her. “What?” I questioned again. “Are you sure?”

  She nodded. “Please don’t be mad at me for telling you. You obviously didn’t know.”

  I shook my head and lowered myself down on the coffee table. “No, I didn’t know. All these . . . all the rumors . . . the rumors were true? No one ever told me. Not even my best friend. Although . . . .”

  My thoughts took me back to the story my father told our good doctor, about my eyes frightening my poor mother. I was only a few days old when she said they were glowing like a demon’s. I put my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands.

  “Was she right? Am I? Could it be true? Am I?”

  Christine stood beside me and laid her hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Erik. I should have controlled my reaction more. I was just . . . it surprised me, that’s all. I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.”

  I released one hand and laid it on top of hers, all without raising my head. “It’s not your fault. There’s nothing to forgive. I am what I am. I . . . I just didn’t want it to be true.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No, not now. Go back to bed or whatever you were about to do.”

  “I was hungry and wanted a piece of cheese.”

  I patted her hand and spoke softly. “Then go.”

  She left for the kitchen and on her way back to her room she again asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

  “I’m sure.”

  When her door closed, I nearly collapsed. This couldn’t be happening to me. I looked at my brandy, got up, and drank it down. Then I headed for my piano, knowing I really needed my music. I played for over an hour without much help. My mother’s reaction to my demon eyes, all the talk about the Opera Ghost and his burning eyes, and Christine’s reaction mixed together and kept repeating in my head.

  Then I thought about Oded, my supposed friend. Why didn’t he ever tell me? And my father. Why didn’t he tell me? Both of those men I’d spent a lot of time with, so they had to have seen what Christine just saw. Why didn’t they tell me? Why did they keep it a secret? I felt like a fool. I felt duped. Since I couldn’t be angry with my father, all my anger turned toward Oded, and I was compelled to tell him how hurt I felt. So I quickly wrote Christine a note, telling her where I was going just in case she got up again before I returned. Then I left and showed up on Oded’s doorstep after three a.m., banging on his door.

  It was a sleepy Darius who opened the door. “Erik!”

  I burst in and harshly insisted, “Get Oded.”

  He didn’t say anything as he left the room, and then Oded appeared, also sleepy.

  Ruthlessly, I demanded. “Oded, my friend, why didn’t you ever tell me about my eyes?”

  “What?” he questioned while checking the clock on his mantel.

  “You heard me. Why did you keep it a secret?”

  “Erik, what are you talking about, and why are you so angry? I’m not at your home this time—you’re at mine, so that can’t be the reason. Sit down.”

  “I don’t want to sit down. I want answers.”

  “Well, I’m tired, so I’m going to sit. Now, will you start at the beginning and explain what you’re talking about?”

  “Why haven’t you been truthful with me? After all the conversations we’ve had, I thought you would never fear to tell me anything. If I’d known the truth, I could have prepared Christine.”

  “What?” he replied, and woke up quickly. “What about Christine? Has something happened to her?”

  “Other than being frightened to death—no. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Listen, Erik, you have to explain what you’re talking about instead of accusing me of something I have no knowledge of.”

  “Are you trying to tell me you never saw my eyes glowing?”

  He frowned but looked relieved. “Oh, that.”

  “Then you did know. Why . . . oh why didn’t you ever tell me? Why did the woman I love have to find out without being prepared? I’m 45 and no one has ever had the courage to inform me.”

  “Erik, think about it. I never gave a thought to telling you. I thought you already knew. I never thought I had to tell you that your eyes are nearly black. I figured you already knew that. Are you mad at me because I never told you that? There are a lot of things that are different about you, but I never brought them to your attention, as if you had no brain or memory and had to be reminded about them.

  “Like the time when you collapsed at the Shah’s residence. That was the first time I saw your need for the mask and all the lash marks on your face and body. I didn’t feel a need to tell you that your nose was missing or about the scars. I figured you had to already know about them.”

  “But this is something different, Oded. The lash marks I received from someone else, while my eyes glow
ing yellow is a part of me. You should have told me.”

  “Erik, you’re not being rational. I’m sorry you had to find out this way—after all these years. But I’m not to blame.”

  There was silence and my angered breaths could be heard as I stared down at him. Then I walked to the window and tried to think. He waited a few moments and then tried to be rational with the irrational man in his parlor.

  “I’ve always known how different you are, from our first meeting on that road to Mazenderan. Watching you move was like watching slow moving water falling over rocks. You were liquid—so smooth that it was nearly hypnotic just watching you do ordinary things. And when you intended to capture my attention, it was even more so, like when you were teasing me with that watch chain. But did I tell you then that your hands were graceful? No, it would have been out of place.

  “With each encounter after that, I learned more about your abilities, but did I bring them to your attention? No. Not until I saw your skill with the lasso did I mention anything about your speed or graceful movements, and that was because I could see how that skill could save lives.

  “Then, once you started going on those rides with us, I really began to appreciate your unique abilities. When I saw how you could hear and see in the dark even faster and better than our horses, I was amazed. But, again, did I ever discuss it with you? Absolutely not. I believed you already knew about your ability to see and hear so well, so it would be ridiculous to think I had to inform you about such a thing.

  “And, as far as your eyes glowing, well, it was the same thing. The first time I noticed it, it fascinated me. After really watching you and thinking about it, I came to realize it was all in the makeup of your eyes themselves. If you could see in the dark like an animal, then, structurally, there was something similar inside of them that was like an animals. But just like your good eyesight, I never gave consideration to telling you about it. I didn’t know that you didn’t already know.”

  “Oh, but Oded, you could have brought it up as just another part of a conversation. You always managed to ask me every other question under the sun.”