Through Phantom Eyes: Volume Five - Christine
Page 84
I’m sorry, Papa, my heart whispered. I did it to myself. I was my own worst enemy, and it’s now too late to change anything. For 35 years, I’d listened to my father’s guiding words in my heart. They’d kept me going, kept me trying, but it would take more than his words to stop my personally designed destiny from having its fulfillment.
I thought I’d been living with an unmasked heart since I brought Christine down into my home, but I was so mistaken. I only lowered the mask at times and then quickly pulled it back into place when it was too difficult to maneuver without it. Even during those last few hours with Christine, just as soon as I saw her express what I’d been waiting to see, I replaced that mask and prevented any further emotional connection to her. What was she thinking? Why did I take her decision-making away from her? Why did I think I knew best?
My breathing slowed and became fearfully shallow, but I still fought desperately by keeping my mind working. In the interim, I begged, please forgive me, Papa. I’m sorry. I couldn’t live my life the way you wanted—with an unmasked heart.
His words and Christine’s voice swam slowly through my thoughts as more of my consciousness slipped out of my reach. The final look in her eyes when she left with Raoul appeared before me, taking turns with my father’s eyes just moments before he died. They changed places as they floated in front of me in slow repeating successions, first in bright flashes of color and then in nothing more than gray fog.
I couldn’t feel anything, not the rug under my fingers, not my head against my armoire, not my breathing, and not my heartbeat. I was numb, and yet I could still feel my thoughts as they whispered, Christine—Christine, I love you so. I heard her voice speak my name softly, and I felt her lips on my face, my horrible face. I saw her eyes, eyes that were saying what her lips couldn’t speak. I saw in her eyes a heart unconcealed, and I felt what she was feeling.
When I could no longer hear my tired and lonely heart beating—I let go. For the very first time in my life, I had no control over what happened to me, and I let go. Oh, Christine, my grieving heart whispered one last time. How many twists and turns my life had taken. With the last twist, the dream of the boy was lost because of the love of one man for one woman.
My final thoughts were of my precious Juliet’s angelic face as we sang that last duet. It floated with the fog in my mind, along with her beautiful deep blue eyes speaking that language of love as she walked out of my door for the last time. They swirled and mixed with the kaleidoscope of colors, forming a magnificent painting of what our life could have been like if experienced with unmasked hearts—and then they slowly faded.
Erik had his wildest dreams and fantasies so close he could nearly touch them, but, as Christine walked out of the door for the last time, they vanished like the morning mist. Left alone with a torn and bleeding heart, he struggles with the hardest decision of his life—one that will mean life or death to the remainder of his dreams.
Continue to read his story and see where that decision takes him
in Volume Six, Unmasked Hearts.
Table of Contents
Through Phantom Eyes
Copyright © 2012 by Theodora Bruns.
Contents
Review
Acknowledgments
Prologue
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine
Thirty
Thirty-One
Thirty-Two
Thirty-Three
Thirty-Four
Thirty-Five
Thirty-Six
Thirty-Seven
Thirty-Eight
Thirty-Nine
Forty
Forty-One
Forty-Two
Forty-Three
Forty-Four
Forty-Five
Forty-Six
Forty-Seven
Forty-Eight
Forty-Nine
Fifty
Fifty-One
Fifty-Two
Fifty-Three
Fifty-Four
Fifty-Five
Fifty-Six