Rachel: Bride of New Hampshire (American Mail-Order Brides 9)

by Diane Darcy

  He nodded once. “I won’t say I’m not disappointed. But, as I said, I’m willing to wait.”

  “Thank you.”

  He sighed. “When would you like to start work?”

  “Tomorrow, if possible.”

  “All right. I’ll let Mr. Sharpton know.”

  As he led her downstairs, she couldn’t help but think how crazy her life had become recently. Two men proposing to her, two new jobs, an entirely new community. She felt slightly off-balance, but was beyond grateful she’d have something to do tomorrow. A way to keep busy.

  The last thing she wanted to think about was Thomas.

  ~~~

  “Is Rachel here?”

  The Reverend Gentry looked surprised by Thomas’s abrupt question. “Ah…I haven’t seen her, but I think I heard her coming in a while ago. Give me just a moment and I’ll check.”

  Thomas waited impatiently on the porch, hands shoved in his pockets. He wanted to rush up the stairs and find her bedroom, but courtesy kept him in place.

  A moment later the reverend came back downstairs. “I’m sorry, Thomas. She isn’t here. My wife is at the church knitting blankets, you might want to try there.”

  Thomas rushed to the church only to find Mrs. Gentry hadn’t seen her either, but he managed to alarm the older lady. “Where could she be?”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll find her.” A sneaking suspicion had him heading over to the mercantile. He looked around, both inside and out, but neither Rachel nor Edward was there.

  Outside again, Thomas walked the streets, looking into shops and wondering if she’d just needed to get away to distract herself. Women liked to shop, didn’t they?

  No luck.

  He even checked the park and gazebo. Finally, really getting worried now, he headed back to the Gentrys’. If she wasn’t there, he’d try his house. Maybe she’d decided they needed to talk and awaited him there?

  He was welcomed inside at the Gentry home. “She’s here,” Mrs. Gentry assured.

  Relief rushed through him and he blew out a harsh breath. “Can I see her?”

  “She’s been crying, poor thing. Did something happen?”

  “A simple misunderstanding.”

  Mrs. Gentry nodded. “I thought it must be something like that.” She went upstairs only to return a minute later. “I’m sorry, Thomas. Rachel is sound asleep.”

  “Can you please wake her? I really need to talk to her.”

  The older woman clasped her hands. “As you know, I’ve raised three daughters. I think it might be best if you just wait until morning. If you wake her now, she might still be cranky, upset, and tearful. For girls, it’s best to let them sleep things off sometimes.”

  He wanted to argue.

  Mrs. Gentry looked sympathetic. “You come by first thing in the morning and we’ll have breakfast waiting. We’ll give you plenty of time to talk. How does that sound?”

  It sounded like he didn’t have a choice.

  ~~~

  Within an hour of starting work, Thomas showed up at the store. She was stocking shelves when he walked around the corner. She’d been thinking about him, missing him, and to see him in front of her didn’t surprise her, but it rattled her. “Mr. Buchanan.”

  He looked angry when she said his name, but just gave a curt nod. “What are you doing here? I went to have breakfast with you and the Gentry’s didn’t even know you’d left.”

  “Mr. Klein has kindly given me a job and it starts bright and early. I left a note on my bed.”

  “You work for me.” In a quieter tone he said, “You’re going to marry me.”

  A sharp pain skewered her heart and she simply turned back to the shelf, and started placing canned fruit where it belonged, the newer stock at the back. She’d wondered if he would come into the store today. It had been like an ache in her chest, one she couldn’t reach, nor escape. Now that he was here, the ache intensified and she could barely look at him.

  “Rachel?” He seemed to loom over her.

  “I clearly told you last night I was quitting the job as Cassie’s governess. I will miss her, of course. In fact, I already do. But I think this is for the best, don’t you?” She finally glanced at him.

  He looked at her like she was a lunatic. “No, I don’t think this is for the best. You’re coming with me.”

  “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  Mr. Sharpton looked their way. “Miss West? Are you all right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then do you two want to take this outside?”

  She glanced around at the interested customers, and gave a quick nod. “I’ll return shortly.”

  The two of them went out front, and Rachel turned to face him. “What are you doing here? I think everything that needed to be said, was said last night.”

  Thomas looked around and, with a hand to her back, led her to the side of the building. “I’m sorry. Let’s start over. Rachel, about the letter, it was all a big misunderstanding.”

  “You were very clear.”

  “Let me just explain.”

  She turned her head. It was too difficult to look at his handsome face. Love for him built a miserable pressure in her chest. “I think you explained yourself thoroughly last night.”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “Rachel, I thought I’d received a new letter from Miss Miller and when it arrived, I didn’t want you to find it and get upset, so I threw it in the trash—”

  Rachel flinched.

  “Because I thought it was either a chastisement, or another mail-order bride. I felt I’d discharged my responsibility and didn’t need more guilt or you getting upset. After you left last night, my mother explained about the letter, and I dug it out of the trash.” He took a step forward and took her hands. “I love you, too, sweetheart. I’m sorry I hurt you. Will you please forgive me? Can you understand I would never have hurt you this way on purpose?”

  He loved her? She did a double take, looking at him quickly, then away. Her heart was pounding and it hurt to hold his gaze. He hadn’t read the letter? He’d thought it was from someone else? She had disguised it in such a way to be clever, to try and re-imagine their first meeting. It had certainly backfired in a big way.

  Did he truly love her?

  “Miss West?” Mr. Sharpton called out. “You’re sure you’re all right?”

  She jerked her hands away as heat rushed to her face. She glanced over her shoulder to see Mr. Sharpton looking around the corner. She nodded. “I’m fine, thank you.”

  Thomas ignored the other man. “Come with me, right now. I don’t want you here, and I certainly don’t want you anywhere near Klein.”

  One part of her longed to go with Thomas, but another part couldn’t so easily shed the sharp ache. Just like the last time. Was there something wrong with her? She’d been hurt, but unsurprised when Thomas jilted her yesterday. After all, men always let her down.

  “Come on, let’s go. We’ll talk about this on the way home.”

  She’s wasn’t sure she could keep doing this. Maybe there was something broken within her, some part of her that couldn’t trust, that wasn’t meant to be in a relationship. She kept getting hurt, and when she’d been alone, when she hadn’t had expectations, that never happened.

  She thought about the way Edward Klein had proposed to her, and wondered if marrying a man she didn’t love was actually a better option for her.

  Or maybe she didn’t need to marry at all? Why hurt like this ever again if she could avoid it?

  She glanced up at Thomas, could hardly stand to look at his handsome face, to feel the emotions he drew from her. She lowered her gaze. “Thomas. I need to think about this.”

  “What is there to think about?” His voice was filled with frustration.

  “I just don’t know.”

  “Don’t know what? I didn’t do anything wrong. You did this the last time, too. You stayed angry at me, even after you found out the truth.”

  His criticism bu
rned her insides. She was barely holding on to her composure. She was broken.

  “Rachel, come with me now.”

  Mr. Klein suddenly appeared. “Are you all right, Rachel?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Rachel?” Thomas’s jaw jutted forward and he glared over her shoulder. “Since when are you on a first name basis with my intended?”

  Mr. Klein’s eyes narrowed. “Thomas, perhaps it would be for the best if you went on your way. The lady is clearly distressed.”

  Thomas’s face reddened as he glanced between the two of them. “Come with me.”

  She shook her head.

  His mouth tightened.

  She knew she was hurting him, but couldn’t seem to help it. Couldn’t tell him what he wanted to hear.

  “Rachel, we’ve both been hurt in the past. But I’ve given you my heart. You told me I had yours in return. You have to learn to trust me. I will gladly apologize when I do something wrong, but I’m not going to pay for the mistakes other men made. If that’s the role you want me in for the rest of our lives, the answer is no. I won’t do it.”

  He didn’t want to marry her?

  “Rachel?”

  She was frozen. Couldn’t seem to speak or reason. Why couldn’t he let her think?

  “You are the most stubborn woman.” He turned away and then back again. “It was a misunderstanding.” He glanced at Edward, then back. “Do you really want a misunderstanding to change the course of your life?”

  She finally took a breath. “Good day, Mr. Buchanan.”

  He threw his hands up in the air. “You are the most frustrating woman! If you can get past this, you know where to find me.”

  And with that, he spun away and walked out of her life.

  ~~~

  Bless Harry Robbins for bringing him a gun to fix.

  Thomas had already laid out the new stock he’d ordered, fixed two revolvers, ordered a new customer a rifle, and rearranged their entire display in the last two hours.

  He’d now be sweeping the floor and washing windows if Harry hadn’t brought the Colt in. As Thomas wasn’t the best company of late, he figured staying away from home was the kindest thing he could do for Cassie.

  He sat at his desk and just admitted it. He was flat-out miserable. Other than seeing Rachel sitting next to Mrs. Gentry at church, it had been an entire week since he’d seen her. Since their conversation. Since she’d destroyed him.

  Was she really not coming back?

  He kept waiting for the announcement that she was going to marry Edward. That slimy, sneaky snake had been after his lady from the moment she’d arrived in town.

  Of course the man had given her a job.

  He was probably laughing his head off about the fact he’d gotten hold of Rachel. She was in Edward’s domain, his vicinity, available for conversation and courting.

  He picked up her letter, withdrew it from its envelope, and read the last line again.

  Because I think that I love you.

  His jaw tightened. It still hurt every time he read it. Because she hadn’t meant it, had she? He looked at her picture. She was so achingly beautiful. Her eyes seemed to sparkle with life and happiness.

  And that smile.

  Maybe he shouldn’t have given her an ultimatum?

  His jaw tightened. He should throw the letter and the picture away and be done with it. With her. But he didn’t. He carefully placed both back in the envelope and set it on the corner of his desk. Maybe tomorrow he’d throw it away.

  Blast her, anyway. She’d brought laughter and joy to his house again. She and her ugly cat. Sir Lancelot still came around. He’d considered keeping the animal, locking him inside. Wouldn’t she have to come looking for the long-tongued feline eventually?

  He just wanted to see Rachel again. He ached to see her again—to talk to her, touch her. When his ex-wife left, it had been a tremendous relief. He’d actually felt sorry for the man who’d stolen her away.

  He wanted to kill Edward.

  The bell rung above the door and Franklin entered the shop. “You look even more interesting now than you did earlier. Have you been pulling your hair? It’s sticking up on one side.”

  He started to disassemble the Colt. “I don’t want to hear it.”

  “All right. I was in the mercantile a while ago. But you probably don’t want to hear about that, either, do you?”

  Thomas sprang up from the chair, realized he’d given himself away, and walked to the window and back. He ran a hand over his mouth. “Did you see Rachel?”

  Franklin lifted a brow. “I did, she helped me with the purchase of some leather. See, I’m thinking about making one of those leather aprons that—”

  “Did she say anything?”

  “Seems she did mention the weather was nice today, for November.”

  “Is she getting married?”

  “She didn’t say. Oh, but you know what? She did say something about eggs being twenty cents a dozen. That’s down a penny from last week.” Franklin set the leather on his desk. “I’m heading home. I’ll see you tomorrow. Are you working late again tonight?”

  Thomas nodded. “Lock the door on your way out.”

  “Sorry, left the key on my kitchen table. You’ll have to do it yourself.”

  Gladly if he could be alone. He followed Franklin and the other man paused before opening the door. He grinned. “Have fun tonight.”

  “Sure. I’ll do that.” Thomas shook his head, locked the door, and got back to work.

  And tried not to think about Rachel.

  ~~~

  When she’d finished helping a customer, Rachel pulled the key Franklin handed her earlier out of her apron pocket. It was silver. Innocent looking. Just another key. But every time she studied it her heart pounded in her chest.

  She glanced at the porcelain and gilt wall clock. She could go home in ten minutes. She stuffed the key back in her pocket. She still wasn’t sure she was going to use it. She wasn’t convinced she could actually work up the courage to do so. But the fact that Franklin gave it to her gave her hope. Maybe Thomas would see her? Listen to her? His friend must have thought so.

  Why couldn’t she have just trusted Thomas? She knew she’d made a mistake. But then, that was the story of her life, wasn’t it? A jumble of mistakes, not all of them her own.

  Tears filled her eyes and she turned to the back wall to straighten the clear jars of candy on the bottom shelf. She was so emotional lately. She missed Thomas so much.

  Her grand plan to ensure her heart remained untouched wasn’t working out very well, was it? How she wished she could go back, take his hand, and let the pain go. Trust him.

  But that had taken a while, hadn’t it? She’d had to sort it out and come to some conclusions. Like the fact that Thomas was right. She’d been willing to punish him for a misunderstanding because she was so afraid she’d get hurt if she truly gave her heart into his care.

  Could he forgive her? That was the real question at this point.

  She couldn’t quite remember being this miserable in her entire life.

  And the cause of her misery? Apparently, he was working alone tonight at the gunshop.

  He’d certainly given her plenty of time to think about the way she’d acted.

  Did she want a life with love, or did she want an untouched, unbreakable heart? At this point she couldn’t fool herself any longer. She was already in love. Already hurting. It was too late to protect herself against the pain Thomas could potentially cause her. She was living it.

  She looked at the key again, then gripped it tightly in her fist. Did Thomas even want her anymore? She took a deep breath and straightened her spine.

  She supposed she was about to find out.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Thomas carefully used a brush to clean lead out of the barrel. He heard a key turn in the lock and braced himself to hear another lecture from Franklin. The door opened and closed.

  “Hello?”

>   Thomas froze, unsure if he’d actually heard Rachel’s voice or if he’d imagined it.

  “Thomas?”

  In a sudden burst of energy, he stood and parts of the Colt went flying. He moved quickly into the main room.

  Rachel looked beautiful. All vibrant hair, smooth skin, and worried eyes. She was scared to death.

  “Hello, Rachel.”

  Her small fist went to her mouth, and she seemed to stop breathing, her features going blank.

  His heart thundered in his chest. She was here. She’d taken that first step. He’d be glad to make this easy on her. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you a lot.”

  An expression of pain crossed her face, and it gave him a bit of hope.

  She lowered her fist. “I’m sorry, Thomas. Truly sorry for how I’ve acted. I’ve been so afraid of getting hurt again that I made a mistake.”

  “Edward proposed to you, didn’t he?” He hadn’t meant to blurt that out, but it had been on his mind the entire week.

  Her gaze dropped to the wood flooring. “Did he tell you that?”

  “No. But it’s obvious he would have. Who wouldn’t?” Thomas had to resist the urge to find the other man and smash his teeth in.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Who wouldn’t want to marry you? You’re beautiful, sweet, brilliant with children. You have a way of making everything brighter, more alive. Everything about you is remarkable. I bet every bachelor in this town wants to marry you.”

  She finally looked at him. “You truly do think that, don’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  She bit the inside of her lip, then sucked in a quick breath. “Thomas, do you truly love me?”

  Was the woman trying to drive him to madness? He tightened his jaw, swallowed, and wondered if his own teeth were about to get kicked in. Frustration and hope, a strange combination, built within him. “Of course. Of course, I do! The first time I saw you it was like getting struck by lightning. I love everything about you. The way you talk, the way you laugh, your lips—even the way you smell. I love how you turned my house into a home. I can’t stop thinking about you. There’s never been a man in the history of the world that has loved a woman as much as I love you.”