Hazed: A New Adult College Romance (Palm South University Book 6)

by Kandi Steiner

  I sip my margarita, instead.

  Jarrett watches me for a long time, and I feel his eyes crawling over me like they’re a laser beam sparking every cell inside me to life. Those warm brown eyes still know just how to make me feel naked as the day I was born.

  I sigh, shaking my head and pushing my drink away before I turn to face him head on. “Jarrett, what are we doing here?”

  “Having a drink,” he says, holding up his beer. “Talking. Catching up.”

  “Catching up,” I deadpan.

  Jarrett lets out a sigh of his own, taking a big gulp of his beer before he says, “I don’t know, Jess. I wanted to see you. I needed to see you.”

  My heart squeezes in my chest.

  “The way things ended between us… I hated it. I still hate it. I’ve thought about it so much since then. I even tried to reach out to you a few times, but… well… I guess you blocked my number. And I don’t blame you, I just…”

  He doesn’t continue for a long while, just stares at where his hand is wrapped around the PBR can.

  “I had to block you,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “Jarrett, I loved you. Fiercely. And I was broken after… after…” I swallow, unable to finish my sentence. “I just wanted to move on, and I knew you enough to know there was no changing your mind — not once you’d made it up the way you had.”

  He nods in understanding, scratching the scruff on his jaw. “We’re opening a branch here in Miami,” he says. “For the nonprofit. And since I used to live here, they picked me to head the expansion.”

  I smile genuinely. “That’s amazing. Congratulations.”

  He gives me another weak smile. “Thanks.” A swallow. “It’s weird. When they told me, I wasn’t really excited about leaving New York. I wasn’t really able to get excited about anything after dealing with my father this summer,” he adds with a shake of his head. “But that’s a story for another time. What I’m trying to say is that I have sort of been… numb. But when they said they were sending me here, there was one little glimpse of light.” His eyes find mine then, the depths of them endless. “I knew you’d be here.”

  I frown, tearing my eyes from his to look at my margarita. I hate the way my stomach tightens at his words, the way my skin heats under his gaze.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  I nod, still not looking at him.

  “What’s going on with you and my brother?”

  A little laugh escapes me at that. “It’s a long story.” I pause. “Kind of a humorous one, actually. But… long story short?” I turn to meet his gaze. “We’re dating. And I really, really like him.”

  I can see the flash of pain that hits Jarrett at my words, but he swallows it down, smiling. “I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve to be happy.”

  “Thank you.”

  “For the record,” he says, sipping his beer. “He really, really likes you, too.”

  I chuckle, and my hair falls in front of my face a little before I tuck it behind one ear. When I look back at Jarrett, I can see there are a million things he wants to say.

  I think there are a million things I want to say, too.

  “Look,” he says after a moment. “All the bullshit aside, I know it’s too late to apologize for the past. I know it’s too late to go back to what we had. And I really don’t want anything more than for you to be okay, to be happy, and it’s clear that you are.” He shrugs. “But if you’re okay with it, I’d like to be friends.”

  “Friends,” I repeat with an arched brow. “I think we tried that once before.”

  He laughs. “Well, things are a bit different now, wouldn’t you say?”

  I smile and nod, considering his offer. To say that him being back in town knocked the breath out of me would be an understatement. To say that discovering he was Kade’s brother fucked me up would be the understatement of the century.

  But to say that I don’t want him in my life would be a big, fat lie.

  “Do you remember the first time we met here,” I ask, looking around with a grin. “And you called me princess?”

  He wrinkles his nose. “God, I did, didn’t I?” A shake of his head. “What weak game.”

  “Hey, it worked.”

  He smiles at me, that smile that melted my heart and my panties the first time he flashed it at me. “It did, didn’t it?”

  “I mean, I called you out for it and did my best to emasculate you but, yes, it did.”

  “You were such a spitfire,” Jarrett says with a remembering smile. “I’d never met anyone like you.”

  “And have you since?”

  “I think you know the answer to that,” he says with a laugh.

  We just watch each other for a moment after that, and I feel it — the buzzing energy crackling like electricity underneath all the things we don’t say.

  “I like the idea of being friends,” I whisper.

  “Yeah?”

  I nod. “I’ve missed you, Jarrett. If I have the chance to have you in my life again, I want to take it.”

  Another flash of something in his eyes, but it’s gone quickly, and then his hand extends for mine. “Friends, then.”

  I eye his hand. “I thought Kade said he’d castrate you if you touched me.”

  “True,” he says, but leaves his hand extended. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

  It’s just a handshake, a simple pump of my hand in his to solidify our agreement, but the moment our skin touches, I hear the distant hum of a thousand warning bells alarming in sync.

  As if he hears them, too, Jarrett swallows and pulls his hand from mine, reaching for his beer, instead. “Now,” he says, taking a sip. “Tell me what the hell you’ve been up to this past year.”

  The conversation is easy from there, and I find that it feels natural, sitting there with Jarrett, him telling me about his life in New York while I fill him in on my last year as a college student. By the end of the night, he’s helping me look for jobs and telling me I’m always welcome at the agency if I need somewhere to get started. We’re swapping stories and laughing and drinking and everything feels okay.

  Maybe Jarrett being back won’t be so bad, after all.

  Maybe being friends will be easy, now that we’ve had so much time apart.

  Maybe we can all three hang out — me, him, and Kade — one big happy family.

  Or maybe I’m still the same walking train wreck I was the night I first walked into this bar, and this whole thing will blow up in my face.

  I guess only time will tell.

  RALPH’S IS ON SPRING Break level.

  Fraternity rush is officially over, which means new brothers and old ones alike flock to the university bars to celebrate their letters. Music blasts from the speakers, the DJ yelling into the mic about the happy hour pricing, and every inch of the dance floor is packed.

  Skyler, Kip, Adam, and I managed to snag a high-top table tucked back in the corner near the billiards tables, and though we still have to scream over the music, it’s like we’ve carved out our own little slice of the bar.

  “So, what comes next?” Adam asks Kip after he gives us the rundown of his television series idea. He wants to capture the story of how he and Skyler met and fell in love — including all the lies, games, and poker drama. It’s the whole reason he’s here and not in California at UCLA, and by the way Skyler is leaning into him all doe-eyed listening to him talk about the project, I know she couldn’t care less what he’s filming — so long as he’s here.

  “Casting,” he says, nudging Skyler. “And this gal made sure I knew that she’d be Head Bitch in Charge when it came down to this part.”

  “Damn straight,” she says, lifting her beer toward us before she takes a sip. “I’ve got to make sure the girl who plays me is bad ass enough to fill the role.”

  “And what about me?” Kip teases with an arched brow. “Think you can cast the right guy to fill my shoes?”

  “Never,” she answers easily, wrapping her ar
ms around him and kissing his chin as she looks up at him with a tipsy smile. “I’ll find a suitable actor, don’t you worry. But only I get the real thing.”

  Adam and I exchange smiles when they practically start making out, but suddenly, a rowdy group of freshmen bump into our table and send our beers sloshing out of the plastic cups containing them.

  “Jesus!” Adam yells, steadying the table as the rest of us reach out to hold the beers. Once everything is calm again, we all laugh, shaking our heads.

  “I remember my first time in this bar,” Kip says, throwing his arm around Skyler with a smile. “It’s when I bet on you and won your heart.”

  “Uh,” Skyler says, holding up a finger. “I’m pretty sure all you did was piss me off, and then stalk me when I told you to leave me alone afterward.”

  “You were going to a sketchy part of town to play in a poker tournament. I had to protect you.”

  “Oh, really? And how did that work out?”

  I laugh, remembering from Skyler’s stories that Kip almost got into a fight with a guy Skyler had beaten at the tournament.

  “All I know is that night didn’t end until morning,” Kip says, waggling his brows. “With me and you on the beach at sunrise. And for that reason, I’d do it all again, given the chance.”

  Skyler blushes, shoving Kip playfully before she leans into him. And I know that look on her face when she casts her gaze up at him, her head on his shoulder.

  Hopeless.

  The girl is just absolutely hopeless.

  “I remember my first time at this bar, too,” I say, smiling at Skyler. “It was the night I became your Little.”

  “Oh my gosh!” Skyler squeals. “That’s right! Awww, I got you a fake ID and everything.”

  “You did. And you,” I say, poking Adam in the ribs. “You danced with Skyler while I pined for you from afar.”

  “Okay, that’s not fair,” he says, poking me back. “I didn’t know you were pining for anything. You played it cool for a girl who was supposedly so smitten.”

  “Well, I had to! My Big called dibs!”

  “Gah, I still can’t believe I was so blind to that,” Skyler says, shaking her head.

  “Can we change the subject?” Kip asks, frowning. “I don’t like to think about you two banging.” He points between Adam and Skyler, and my nose wrinkles with the notion.

  “Yeah, I think that’s a time I’d like to forget, too.”

  “What, you don’t like being Eskimo sisters, Little?” Skyler teases, which makes Adam laugh out loud until I elbow him in the side.

  Kip pulls Skyler out onto the dance floor, then, leaving me and Adam alone. I take a long pull of the fruity mystery cocktail the bartender poured me for happy hour, and when I set the drink down again, Adam is watching me with a curious smile.

  “What?” I ask. “Something on my face?”

  I’m already patting my cheeks and the corners of my lips when Adam chuckles, scooting his barstool closer. He slips his knee between my legs, his hands resting on my hips.

  “No, you’re beautiful.”

  “Then why are you looking at me like that?”

  He shrugs. “Just thinking. Reminiscing.” He pauses. “It’s just… this is all so real now.”

  I tilt my head.

  “That story we were just talking about, it just reminded me how far we’ve come. I mean, I can still remember the first time I saw you by the slip and slide at the Kappa Kappa Beta house. I can remember thinking you were so cute, but not realizing I actually had feelings for you for so long. We played so many games…” He shakes his head. “God, I remember the first time I saw you dancing with Clay. In this bar, Halloween. Do you remember?”

  I scoff. “I try to forget everything about him.”

  “Well, I remember distinctly how badly I wanted to rip his head off.”

  “But you were with Skyler.”

  “I know. That’s the point.”

  “What is?”

  Adam smirks, grabbing my barstool and pulling me closer to him. “That through all the years, no matter who else was in the picture, no matter how many games we’ve played… it’s always been you and me.”

  He steals my smile with a kiss, long and sensual, one that makes me wish we weren’t in a crowded bar full of strangers.

  “You’re applying to med school,” he says, his lips still hovering over mine. “I’m starting to look for a job. We’re both graduating soon.” Adam shakes his head, tucking my hair behind one hear as his warm brown eyes stare into mine. “We’re about to start our lives together, Cassie.”

  I chuckle. “Are you sure you want to, after everything I’ve put you through?”

  “Are you kidding?” Adam shakes his head again, and then his hands are framing my face. “For better or worse, drama free or up to our necks in frustration — I’m yours.”

  “It’s probably going to be the latter, knowing us.”

  “Probably,” Adam agrees. “But as long as I’ve got you at the end of the day, I’ll take every challenge that comes our way.”

  “That kind of rhymed.”

  “Poet and didn’t even know it.”

  I laugh, kissing his cheek before I pop out of my chair. “Dance with me, Adam Brooks.”

  And for the rest of the night, he does.

  “LITTLE, IF YOU DON’T get your shit together right now, I’m going to put you in a cab and send you back to Greek Row.”

  My goofy-ass Little, Josh, who is usually mouthing off and getting himself into trouble with girls, is currently a sobbing mess in one of the hottest bars downtown.

  His red hair is disheveled, and thanks to his fresh spray tan, he’s starting to leave streak marks on his face. If it wasn’t so pathetic, I’d be laughing.

  “I just don’t know what I’m going to do without you here,” he says, and he grimaces with another wave of emotion.

  Until I punch him in the stomach.

  He doubles over, coughing, but when he’s upright again, he nods. “You’re right. I needed that.”

  “You’re going to be fine,” I assure him, resting a hand on his shoulder as I inch a shot of whiskey toward him. “You’re going to party and hook up with girls and do all the things you’ve done every year since you joined Omega Chi.”

  “But you’re my partner in crime,” he says, shaking his head. “I mean, you’re the reason half these guys put up with me.”

  At that, I laugh. “Hey, that’s not true. We all love you — even when you annoy the shit out of us.”

  He looks down at the shot, not convinced.

  “Listen to me,” I say, leveling my gaze with his. “You need to stop playing this role you think you have to play, being the jokester all the time. You spit the corny lines to the ladies because you think that’s what they expect from you. You’re the clown, right?”

  Josh nods.

  “But I know you, the real you,” I say, poking his chest. “And you’re actually funny. Not in the stupid way either. You’re also smart. And you’ve got ideas for this fraternity that you would rather shuffle through me than stand up and say on your own. But this is it, little brother. This is the passing of the torch. You can either let it fall to the ground and extinguish itself, or you can grab it and hold it high and run on. The choice is yours.”

  The more I talk, the more Josh nods, his brows furrowing together. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right, man.”

  “Obviously.”

  He smirks at that, and then he claps a hand on my shoulder. “I really am going to miss you, bro.”

  “Well, I’m not gone yet,” I say, lifting my own shot glass. “So, let’s get fucked up while I’m still young and broke and without adult responsibilities.”

  “Hear, hear!”

  We slam back the whiskey, wincing as it burns our esophagi. Then, Josh nods toward a few girls at the other end of the bar.

  “Shall we?”

  Every single one of the girls looks older than us by at least five years — the perks o
f being at a bar downtown as opposed to one close to campus. We loaded up two vans with brothers to take on the downtown area, and I have to admit, the women coming out after a long day working at the office in their designer heels and pencil skirts is a fresh and welcome change of scenery.

  Still, even with the tallest of the girls batting her lashes at me, her long legs crossed, skirt inched up over her knees — I can’t help but feel like something’s… off.

  “You go ahead without me,” I say. “I need some air, I think.”

  Josh frowns, and I can already see him opening his mouth to argue.

  “You’ve got this,” I say, giving him a pointed look as I stand.

  At that, he zips his lips closed again with a determined nod, and then he brushes past me, puffing his chest out and holding his shoulders back as he approaches the girls.

  I should have told him to wipe his fucking face first, but lucky for him, it looks like the blonde of the group is into sensitive guys. She wipes the wetness from his cheeks and even though I can’t hear her, I see her lips mouth what happened, are you okay?

  Josh gives me a wink over his shoulder, and I shake my head on a laugh, knowing he’ll be just fine.

  One glance around the dark bar and it’s easy to see all my brothers are enjoying themselves. They’re dancing under the lights on the giant dance floor, hitting on girls older and wiser than them at the bar, competing in beer pong back in the corner. They’re all smiles and laughter, living it up.

  And for some reason, it makes my chest hurt.

  Scrubbing a hand over my fade, I make my way through the crowd and let myself outside. It’s not as cold as it has been — the rare cold front that moved through has definitely passed — but it’s far from the summertime heat, and I give a sigh of relief when the cool breeze washes over me.

  Downtown is bustling with people going to and fro, girls linking arms and giggling as they pass, guys shouting and jumping on each other’s backs as they try to get the girls’ attention. Music and laughter spill out onto the street from every building, and I smile, leaning my back against the cool brick and taking it all in.