Crazy Thing Called Life

by R. P. Fischer

  His reply is almost instant.

  Oh, it was my pleasure. I'm looking forward to our date. The wait might kill me, though. I'm sorry I won't be back at the same time you are.

  I feel Mimi's wine breath on my neck as she reads over my shoulder.

  Again.

  "Date? You didn't tell us he asked you on a date!"

  I defend, "I didn't want Dad to turn into a crazy, overprotective monster or start planning a wedding! Plus, it's not for a few weeks. He's heading to Oklahoma for the New Year for a coach's retirement ceremony."

  "So I guess me bugging you about moving back here after graduation is going to through one ear and out the other as long as this young man is in your life?"

  "It's one date, Mimi! I'm with Dad, I don't want to get caught up in the celebrity of it all. I'm hoping since it’s off-season that it will help me see him as a regular guy instead of Houston's bad boy. He really was sweet to me today."

  Pouring me another glass of wine, Mimi shakes her head at me. "Honey, you're already a goner from that look on your face. You've always been an open-minded young lady, but I understand why you're keeping one foot out the door. Your mama would probably be planning your wedding after one look at him and what he did for you today."

  I give Mimi a half smile. "I told him about Mom and my life here."

  Her face is shocked. "So when's he coming to visit?"

  I avoid her question. "I'm going to go for a run. I'm still stiff from the flight, and I need to loosen up before dinner." I get up from the bar stool and head upstairs.

  Mimi's voice trails behind me. "You can't avoid me forever! I'll give you a makeover in your sleep again!"

  I shudder at the top of the stairs when I remember the last time she gave me a makeover. When Mimi's had too much wine, she starts in on the makeovers. She tries to make me look like Snow White with bright red lipsticks and pounds of blush. I can't even lock my door from her because she has a skeleton key.

  I never win with that woman.

  I grab my ankle-length yoga pants and long sleeve dry-fit shirt. I miss the cold and can't wait to run across the vineyard in this weather. I ran track in high school and swam when the weather was exceptionally dry. I love gliding through the elements of life. Running through the trees and vines was one of the biggest things I missed when we moved to Houston.

  Out here at the vineyard, I can run anytime I want with no one stopping me to talk. I can clear my head and inhale the scent of all the different grapes. Sometimes I limit myself to treadmills at the U of H gym, but only if I'm running at night and use the school aquatics center during the summer.

  It's not the same, though. At all.

  The worst thing about coming home is the heavy hits of loneliness that wave over me. I dread going back to Houston, but I can't bring myself to come back permanently without my mom.

  I sort of have a life in Houston.

  Is it sad a part of me also doesn't want to leave in case Colin and I go past one date?

  I'm one of the many women in Houston who has had fantasies about him, and I'm scared that my daydreams about him would be crushed by a true personality. Wondering if this is all an act to get me to sleep with him sits in the back of my mind. I'm just part of a chase for his bad boy reputation, and he just wants another touchdown under his belt.

  The sun is starting to set, and I stop myself mid-run to see the glow from the sun spread all over the trees lining the vineyard. Little glimpses of the light trickle every leaf and vine. The purple of the grapes shows their vibrancy of juice and life. It's breathtaking and I know, it's my mom welcoming me home.

  When I get back to the house, I take a long shower before dinner. The warm steam of the shower reminds me of Colin's hot breath on my cheek and neck during the flight. My hands glide from my neck where his breath was an inch from my ear that sent shivers everywhere.

  My nipples have pebbled needing to feel that tongue ring against every inch of my skin. I pinch one and massage the other wishing it were his big hands giving me this pleasure. One touch or lick from him could send me overboard into an orgasm that I haven't had in a very long time.

  The hot water falling down on me is nothing compared to the wetness dripping between my legs. I moan as I imagine his lips kissing my skin across my hipbones to the little patch between my legs. He'd hike my leg over his muscular shoulder and kiss every inch of my sex. My hands fall from my breasts to the drenched apex of my lips. Spreading them open, I stroke one of my fingers up and down, dreaming it’s Colin's talented hands.

  He'd massage my whole body with his hands and lips, bringing me to the edge of climax enough to drive me insane. I'm stroking myself faster and faster, my moans getting slightly louder.

  I can feel my orgasm building higher up my legs, and I add another finger inside of me.

  "Come for me, Natalie," is the ghost of a whisper I hear in Colin's voice. It's enough to send me into a level of pleasure I haven't felt in a long time.

  One of the reasons I love that our family reunion is during Christmastime is how festive the decorations are around the entire land. Lights adorn most of the inn, family plot, and the road that leads up to the land. They've put a giant tree in the middle of the lawn, decorated with ornaments from every family member. I have one with a picture of me and my parents’ draped near the middle that I usually keep on my cork board in my room the rest of the year.

  Walking to the inn, I spot some of my cousins playing giant Chess on the front lawn and little kids playing soccer in the field nearby.

  For the last few years, there's been a hole in my heart when I think about my mom and spending Christmas here. She loved planning the reunion with Mimi and was heartbroken she couldn't do much once we moved to Texas and then her diagnosis. I want to continue the tradition with my kids someday. Yes, a part of me starts to imagine small, rambunctious, blond football players running around and a dangerously sexy man holding me while we watch them play with smiles on everyone's faces.

  A girl's allowed to indulge in a little baby fantasy every now and then.

  I continue my walk to the barn where my Auvergne horse, Starlight, eats quietly amongst the rest of them. I plan to ride her at least a few times throughout the next week, and it seems to ease the ache I had in my heart. I had ridden the inn's horses up until I proved to my parents’ before high school that I was responsible enough for my own horse. So instead of new clothes or laptop to start high school, I received Starlight. Big difference from a shopping spree, but I was already halfway ahead in school anyway.

  When my mom's interior designing career took her to Houston, I cried every day about not being able to ride Starlight anymore. My parents’ promised me we'd bring her out as soon we found a great boarding stable, but when my mom's breast cancer diagnosis came shortly after the move, I knew nothing would be the same. It was farther along than the doctor's had hoped and three years later, as soon as I finished spring classes, she passed away.

  I could barely ride Starlight the Christmas after my mom died because every time I saw her, I saw my mom's smiling face the day my parents’ gave her to me. Now I ride her every Christmas Day before the sun comes up to remember her.

  I'm brushing down her gorgeous black mane when I hear my father's voice.

  "How's my baby girl doing?"

  I hug my face into the soft hairs and then look at my father. His hair is mostly gray now as if the stress of the last few years finally caught up with him. I've been told I'm the spitting image of my mom, but I know I have a lot of his features, too.

  I give him a small smile. "I'm good, Dad."

  He leans against the stall door before he asks the same question he does every year. "Are you happy?"

  In return, I give him the same response I have for the last few years. "Not yet, but someday I will be."

  His face becomes slightly unreadable so I'm surprised by the words that come next. "I'm not sure that going on a date with Colin Shaw is a good idea."

  With my
arm laying on Starlight's back, I cock my hip out in my rebellious daughter pose. "And why do you say that, Daddy?"

  He sighs before speaking, "He may be a great athlete, but I just don't like a lot of the stuff I'm hearing about him in the news these days. The rumors of him being an angry playboy are something I don't want you getting caught up in. Celebrities come with scandals, and I'd hate to see you get your heart broken in the middle of it all."

  My dad and I have always been honest with each other when it came to my life, especially after mom died, and because Mimi doesn't believe in keeping her mouth closed sometimes.

  "Dad, Colin's been nothing but nice to me since the day we met. I have no reason to believe the media's stories until he tells me himself, and I have no reason to not trust him right now. Unless he gives me one, I'd like to think you'd understand why I want to get to know him."

  Again, my father sighs. He's good at that. He walks closer to Starlight, giving her nose a small rub before looking into my eyes.

  "Like I said yesterday, please be careful. If he does anything to make you cry, whatsoever, I'm siccing Mimi on him."

  With a laugh, we both pet Starlight one more time before walking out of the barn toward the restaurant section of the inn.

  The reunion is mainly hosted at a Christmas Eve dinner in a tent by the main house because of the amount of space this family takes up. Mimi's been rushing around the kitchen all day with her staff. When I try to calm her down, she swats my hand with a spatula and orders me to start to work. When she starts barking more orders, the dogs start to bark too, and I have to shout over her.

  "MIRIAM O'REILLY-LYONS! Calm down. You do this every year, and it always turns out fine. These are only the side dishes."

  For a second, I think she's about to chuck the rolling pin at my head, but she stops herself and takes a few deep breaths. Her eyes turn evil on me, and I swear she curses at me in French before her threat in English. It's always hilarious to see her strong Irish heritage turn French after marrying Richard.

  "One day, young lady, when you do events like these for your own family, you will understand this pressure. I will stand next to you and laugh my ass off when you have your nervous breakdown."

  Laughing at her realistic threat, I look happily around the kitchen. My eyes stop on the corner of the counter and notice a barely touched bottle of wine.

  "Mimi. Have you dipped into the wine while cooking again?"

  She looks at the bottle in my line of vision. Pointing the rolling pin at me, she speaks less frantically, "Not yet, but clearly, it’s time. That was your Uncle Richard trying to calm me down, too."

  She walks over to the counter and grabs one of the glasses. She pours herself a hefty glass, takes a generous swig, and shakes out her head.

  "Okay. We can do this. Natalie, take the dogs outside and run them into the giant playpen your father set up in the yard. Curly and Lily won't give you any trouble, but you'll have to bribe Rusty to go out there. Now get so I can go back to cooking."

  I stand at attention, which is still hard for me to do at my five-feet-three, and give Mimi a mock salute. I grab some treats for the pups and guide them to the pen set up in the yard.

  The pups bounce and play around while I laugh at the fact that the three dogs tradition has been kept alive for so many years. We have a small pet cemetery for all the animals that have passed over the years and each gets a bottle named after them. My mom's grave is not far as she was laid to rest here with my dad's parents and some other relatives.

  The lights surrounding the vineyard remind me of the summer I spent in France with my family before we moved to Houston. I was able to drink while doing our vineyard tours thanks to the wine drinking age being sixteen in France.

  We spent a month traveling through the South of France, visiting where my dad's side of the family came from before they moved to California. It was the last time my closest family was together like this, and I savored every moment of it. The smell of the vineyard transports me back a decade, but when I open my eyes, I feel my sense of family.

  Mimi and Richard have done a great job making it feel like a great French-Irish-American fusion at the vineyard so that everyone feels welcome the minute they get out of their cars. Mimi tosses in her Irish twist whenever she can with food, alcohol, and a St. Patty's Day party. We always made fun of her that French-Irish food makes absolutely no sense. She would let her flaming red hair flail around until we caved and tried her new way of thinking.

  I walk to the main house where some of my older cousins on my mom's side are hanging out and drinking the holiday line. I'm not as close with them as I was when we were kids, but we all still get along whenever I'm in town. They're from San Francisco, and we always talk about the differences between living there and my life in Houston.

  It's been nice catching up with everyone, but I find myself daydreaming again about Colin. I wonder if he's attempting to play with Fuzzy again, which of course makes me curious as to how she's doing.

  The food is amazing as always, and once Uncle Richard gets to the grill, the party really starts. The man is strange in his attire at every major event. He's wearing his Grill Master T-shirt that has a pig roasting a steak on it under a Hawaiian shirt. His chef pants have pigs with wings all over it and clogs on his feet. He's wearing a tan fedora and his Blues Brothers sunglasses.

  Like I said, this man is strange, but he can sure cook up some mean burgers. We don't do a huge, fancy ham, goose, or turkey dinner. We have burgers, hot dogs, wings, corned beef, and a thousand pounds of pulled pork. It's a little something for everyone. There is enough food to feed an army and enough wine that we may have extra people staying on the couch or at my house.

  As the night carried on, I had to run from Mimi because she found my cousin's makeup bag and decided to pull out the "You're going on a date with a celebrity, wear more blush". Everyone overheard and started asking me what celebrity Mimi was talking about. I finally told them it was a football player, but refused to say which one because I didn't want to jinx it.

  The wine was plentiful and delicious. I love what my family does. It's provided us with fulfilling life, and I treasure every moment I spend here.

  ***

  The next morning, I wake up before everyone else. Mimi's cleaning crew won't be here until later today so she and everyone else are passed out cold for the time being. Somehow no one in this family gets a hangover. I may not drink hard liquor that often, but I can knock back a few bottles of wine with no issues. Mimi is a formidable opponent in all things alcohol.

  Her snoring down the hall tells me I can make as much noise as necessary as I leave the house. The air is crisp and still holds that foggy morning sight in the darkness. The Christmas decorations ease my path to the barn where Starlight is waiting for me. It's like she remembers our tradition. I feed her an apple from the pile we keep in the office and get her saddled up.

  The ride over to my mom's grave only takes a few minutes. I had the flowers I brought her in my saddle-bag and added them to the pile her extended family brought. My mom was loved by so many people.

  I let Starlight wander while I sit cross-legged on the ground by her gravestone.

  My thoughts are fairly scattered.

  "Hi, Mom. I see you've been keeping a good eye on everyone over here and haven't let them decorate everything to hell. I still wish I had gotten your eye for design. I think it's a good thing I'm almost done with vet school so I can start working with animals instead of trying to update my house. You'll be happy to know I've once again made the top five in my class before graduation."

  I lay my head on the cold stone before I continue. "I miss you. I wish you could be graduation, but I know Dad and everyone will try to come. I have a sneaking feeling you sent a certain man into my life so that I stay in Houston. I know you wanted grandbabies, but you might need to dial it back a bit with this one. He's an interesting character, to say the least."

  Smiling, as I think of the man in questi
on, I keep talking. "I'm gonna need all the help I can get with Colin Shaw. He just might be the man you get to meet."

  The days after Christmas are just what I need to refuel. I forget about everything and everyone back in Houston. I have a decent life, but there's a void.

  I've ridden Starlight every day, and I've taken her to the fields to run free, even if only for a little while. Today, I went back to Mom's grave to say I'll see her later because I leave shortly after New Year's to get back to work and school.

  When I take Starlight back to the stall, I get her cleaned up and fed before walking into the house.

  Mimi's sitting in the living room watching her favorite cooking show on the television. Knowing her, she's making mental notes on how she can make it her own style.

  I sit on the barstool behind the couch and just watch her, thinking about how lucky I am that Richard brought her into our lives even though I wasn't born when he did.

  Aunt Mimi was the female guidance I needed after my mom died. I was struggling with my grief and keeping up with school.

  Every day I had Mimi to talk to. She kept me on track to finish school because she knew it's what my mom wanted. I had worked hard enough to do dual enrollment to get ahead, and she didn't want me to get too far backtracked. I already knew that, but there were times when the weight of missing Mom fell harder than the need to build a future career. Mimi knew I needed help and for her, I wasn't afraid to ask for it or accept it.

  She made sure my mom's life insurance kept me from debt while in school and that I could just focus on my studies instead of having any money troubles. My dad already had a college fund for me and bought me a car to get around Houston and the rest was for my other living expenses.

  If I had boy troubles, Mimi was there. Boring, annoying, and stale dates were whined about on many occasions. She encouraged casual sex as long as I was safe, but I never found any interest in it. I liked having an emotional connection along with the physical, but I told her one thing I lacked with my college boyfriend was true passion.