The Playful Wanton

by Farmer, Merry

  “How dare you lay a hand on her?” he demanded, turning Henry to face him and shaking him for all he was worth.

  A murmur of excitement passed through the audience, and someone dropped their teacup, shattering it.

  “You have treated Lady Eliza abominably,” Adolphus raged on as Eliza scrambled to her feet, with Lady Rothsay’s help. The two of them rushed to the side of the stage, out of the way of the men. “Don’t think I don’t know about your past with her.”

  “What did she tell you?” Henry demanded with something that might have been a laugh or a strangled cry of fear. “Did she tell you that she’s a little whore who couldn’t get enough of it?”

  That was all it took. Adolphus threw a devastating punch that hit Henry square in the jaw, nearly spinning him in a circle. “I will not hear you speak ill of the woman I love,” Adolphus roared. “You forced yourself on her, you miserable, pestilential cock.” He threw a second punch that landed on Henry’s ear.

  Eliza was so stunned by Adolphus’s words and his actions that she could only let her mouth drop open. Henry wasn’t as stunned as she was, or as Adolphus might have thought he was. He recovered with a roar and charged at Adolphus, throwing punches of his own.

  Within seconds, the two men were brawling as though they were behind a seedy pub in the dead of night. Two men dressed in silk and frills. The sickening crunch of punches being landed was matched only by the shouts of alarm—or encouragement—from the audience as ladies and gentlemen rose from their seats to either get away from the violence on the stage or to get a better look at the wild sight. Eliza flinched with every sound and every blow, especially when a bloom of red sprouted from Henry’s nose and started to run down his face. At the same time, she was filled with immense satisfaction to see Adolphus taking the upper hand so easily.

  At last, most likely sensing he was outmatched, Henry stumbled backward, holding up his hands. “I yield, I yield,” he panted, then doubled over. “You can have the bitch.”

  Adolphus rushed toward him, a look of murder in his eyes. The only thing that stopped Henry from meeting his end was Rufus stepping between them.

  “I must admit,” he said in an overly loud voice, staring hard at Adolphus, “an entertainment like this is even better than the play I wrote. I’ll give you your clue so that you can move ahead and find the prize at last.” He spoke deliberately and stared steadily at Adolphus as he did.

  Eliza held her breath, wondering if Adolphus would choose direct revenge against Henry or if he would remember the mission they were on and follow Rufus’s clue to locate Miss Ivy. Truly, she wondered why Rufus was not simply coming out and telling them where Miss Ivy was or bringing her forward. Then again, Henry had attempted to flee three times already, so perhaps continuing with the game was the only way to lead him where he needed to go.

  “Give me the clue,” Adolphus hissed at last, backing away from Rufus but keeping his fierce glare on Henry.

  Rufus nodded, reaching into the pocket of his waistcoat.

  “Hang on.” Henry came forward, dabbing at his bleeding nose with the sleeve of his costume gown. “How is it fair to hand the clue over to him when he is the one who attacked me?”

  “I believe, sir, that we both know you deserved it,” Rufus said in a deadly voice, handing a folded slip of paper to Adolphus.

  “What do you know about it?” Henry demanded, attempting to pull himself to his full height, but looking all the worse for it in his ripped, bloody dress, his nose and cheek swelling.

  “I know more than you think I do,” Rufus answered.

  Henry laughed uneasily. “Did she tell you?” He pointed to Eliza. “I could tell you things about her that would make your hair turn white, friend. I could—”

  Whatever Henry could do, they would never know. Adolphus crumpled the slip of paper in his bruised hand as he marched toward the door they’d entered the small parlor through.

  “Wait,” Eliza called, rushing after him. She gave Henry a look of absolute disgust as she passed him.

  “You’re not going on without me,” Lady Rothsay said, leaping after her.

  Henry followed after them, grumbling under his breath, “This isn’t over yet.”

  Chapter 9

  Finally. Finally, he was doing what came naturally to him. Finally, the blood was pumping through his veins and his muscles worked as he tore through the house, out the front door—which was manned by a footman who seemed to know Adolphus and the others would come tearing through at some point and held it wide open—and across the gravel drive toward the stables in back of the grand house. Finally, he was being the Runner that he was meant to be. The fact that he was doing his job while wearing an ill-fitting silk gown was beside the point.

  Ward sprinted up behind him, clearly not as fit as Adolphus was but doing a fair job of holding his own. The man’s face was a bloody mask from where Adolphus had broken his nose. Rather than feeling the slightest bit of guilt over causing such damage, Adolphus gloated over it. Ward deserved to have the structure of his face permanently altered in more ways than his broken nose would produce. The damage was worth every sore knuckle on his hand.

  “Adolphus, wait,” Eliza called from several yards behind him. “You’re going too fast.”

  The guilt that Adolphus hadn’t bothered to feel rose up in him. He was loath to leave Eliza behind—although she was doing an admirable job of keeping up with him in the costume breeches she wore. Far better than Lady Rothsay, who was puffing along at a good fifty yards’ distance. But stopping to allow Eliza to catch up would mean allowing Ward to get ahead. And if Miss Ivy saw Ward coming on his own, she would likely bolt again.

  He did the only thing he could do. He waited until Ward had caught up to his side, then rammed the bastard with his shoulder, sending him flying. Ward bellowed in wordless protest as he hit the ground. Adolphus took advantage of the moment to stop and turn back to Eliza.

  “Hurry,” he called. “We must get there first.”

  “Over my dead body,” Ward growled.

  Adolphus had miscalculated how injured and how pathetic Ward was. The bastard struggled to his knees and threw himself at Adolphus, catching him around his calves in a bear hug. It was impossible to stay upright under Ward’s weight and momentum, and Adolphus tumbled to the ground. The moment of shock that followed provided just enough time for Ward to throw a punch that smashed across Adolphus’s face.

  “Ruin my nose, will you?” Ward barked, pulling back for another punch.

  Adolphus was quicker and rolled out of the way, sending Ward off balance when his punch missed its target. He managed to twist back fast enough to pin Ward before he could sort himself out.

  “You’ve ruined far more than a nose,” Adolphus growled, pressing down on Ward’s chest and hoping he couldn’t breathe. “You ruined a beautiful, innocent girl.” When Ward looked as though he would protest, Adolphus went on with, “Bastards like you know full well your attentions are not welcome, but you force them anyhow and blame the woman for being unable to defend herself.”

  “Adolphus!”

  Eliza’s shout from just behind him shook Adolphus out of his lust for Ward’s blood. He glanced over his shoulder to find her watching with wide eyes. Their eyes met, and her expression changed to one of almost supernatural calm.

  “He isn’t worth it,” she said with enough resolve to command an army. “He was never worth it. He’ll get what’s coming to him.”

  Again, her expression changed. The barest hint of mischief filled her eyes. It was magnified by her odd costume and the pink that had kissed her cheeks during the chase. She glanced past him to the corner of the stable, which was just visible around the side of the house.

  “Good heavens,” Lady Rothsay panted, finally catching up to them all. “Isn’t this exciting?”

  Her question must have prompted Ward into action. With a mighty growl, he pushed at Adolphus. Sense and logic won out over bloodlust, and Adolphus rocked back, allowing War
d to struggle away. The bastard got to his feet, coughing and sputtering, and continued to run toward the stable. Lady Rothsay chased after him.

  Eliza lunged forward, grabbing Adolphus’s arm and hefting him to his feet. “Hurry,” she whispered. “You’ll want to be there when he rushes straight into the trap.”

  Adolphus nodded, then jumped after Ward, Eliza keeping up at his side. There was no need to sprint ahead or to outpace Eliza as they pursued Ward. The man was winded and hampered by Lady Rothsay, who clung to him in an effort to match his pace. All Adolphus and Eliza needed to do was to race fast enough to stay a few steps behind him.

  They burst into the stable almost as one. Several of the horses nearest the wide stable door reared back and whinnied at the violent interruption. Ward skittered to a stop, nearly sending Lady Rothsay barreling into a stall door.

  She recovered quickly enough to ask, “Where is it? Where is the treasure?”

  “Where indeed?” Adolphus growled.

  “You won’t win this one,” Ward called to Adolphus as he dashed deeper into the stable, checking each stall briefly as he went.

  “Would they hide a magnificent treasure in a horse stall?” Lady Rothsay asked, still panting and red-faced as she peeked into each stable after Ward moved on.

  As they moved deeper into the building, the scent of horse and hay and manure growing stronger, a sound that was as incongruous to the situation as children singing carols would have been hit Adolphus’s ears. He frowned in confusion as he shifted directions and marched toward a small door at the back of a side aisle of stalls, but the moment he realized what the grunting and moaning was, his brow shot up.

  “That’s not—” Eliza started as she kept close to his side, her face bursting into a mask of mirth.

  “Get out of my way,” Ward demanded, leaping down the aisle and pushing the two of them out of the way. “This prize is mine.”

  He yanked open the door at the end of the aisle. For one, brief moment, they were all treated to the sight of Miss Ivy, her skirts hiked up, her bodice pulled down low enough to expose her ample, pink-tipped breasts, her head tilted back and her hair loose, as she straddled a man who had to have been the stable master. The stable master leaned back over a huge chest that had been painted gold, half sitting on it, half braced against the wall behind. Miss Ivy rode him like a thoroughbred, which was evidenced by the expression of pure bliss on the man’s face.

  Of course, the moment the two were discovered, Miss Ivy let out a shriek and the stable master a strangled cry. Miss Ivy disengaged herself from the stable master, nearly losing her balance and falling to her backside as she did. She whipped around to face her new audience, fumbling to pull her blouse up and cover her breasts, as the stable master flapped about, trying to hide his astounding erection. Adolphus felt awful for interrupting before the man was finished, but there was work to be done.

  “Some prize, eh?” Ward rubbed his hands together, a wicked light in his eyes. “Do we all get a go?”

  Miss Ivy shrieked in offense, balling her hands into fists—which resulted in her blouse sagging open to expose her enormous breasts once more. She blinked, then yelped again.

  “That’s him,” she said, pointing hard at Ward while looking to Adolphus. “That’s him, all right.”

  “Do you know this woman?” Lady Rothsay asked, her eyes as wide as the moon and her face glowing with merriment. She, too, seemed to appreciate Miss Ivy’s bosom.

  “I’ve never seen her in my—” Ward stopped, his mouth gaping wide as realization hit him. “No,” he gasped, backpedaling, then turning to scramble toward the door. “No, I don’t know her. Get me out of here.”

  Adolphus caught him before he could retreat more than two steps.

  “I’d know his face anywhere,” Miss Ivy said, making a more successful effort to close her bodice and cover herself. “Even if his face is a bit banged up. He’s the one who trampled poor Bill Jones out in front of The Crown and Scepter.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ward insisted, struggling against Adolphus but getting nowhere. “I’ve never heard of the place. I would never patronize a pub down by the docks anyhow.”

  “So you admit to knowing where Miss Ivy works?” Adolphus said, the triumphant calm of knowing he’d won settling over him.

  “I…no. I said no such thing. Let me go. I demand you let me go.” Ward continued to push and yank and tug to get away from Adolphus.

  “He weren’t even served that much at the pub,” Miss Ivy went on, resting her hands on her hips. “He come in the place all the time and caused trouble, so Mitch started waterin’ down his ale to keep him in line. Didn’t stop him from runnin’ down poor Bill like he were a dog, though.”

  “I think that’s more than enough to bring him before the judge,” Adolphus said with a grin. “And I am inclined to think the judge would be interested in hearing your past of interfering with well-born young maidens as well.”

  “You can’t prove any of it,” Ward shouted. “I won’t let you—”

  He broke off in mid-sentence, jerking away from Adolphus and bursting through the door, back into the rows of stalls.

  Adolphus chased after him, Eliza right behind him and Miss Ivy bringing up the rear, but their chase didn’t last long. As soon as Ward dashed out into the grey and damp afternoon, he was met by Rufus and Lady Caroline and at least two dozen other house party guests, who had likely come to see the winners of the treasure hunt claim their prize.

  “Stop him,” Adolphus called out, pointing to Ward. “He’s been identified and is under arrest.”

  Rufus and two other gentlemen captured Ward before he could so much as change direction to get away. Ward struggled for only a moment before giving up and bursting into undignified tears. The pathetic picture he painted was emphasized even more by the ripped dress he wore.

  “Miss Ivy identified him, did she?” Rufus asked.

  Adolphus nodded once.

  Rufus let out a breath of relief. “Thank God that’s over.” He gestured for the men holding Ward to take him back to the house. “Keep him under lock and key until Gibbon can return him to London.”

  “Now we can enjoy the party as it was intended to be enjoyed,” Lady Caroline added, bursting into a smile. That smile took Adolphus and Eliza in with particular sparkle. Now that his business was concluded, Adolphus found himself in a mood to live up to every expectation the twinkle in Lady Caroline’s eyes hinted at.

  He reached for Eliza, catching her hand and drawing her close. But before he could do more than grin wolfishly at her, his mind already working on ways to convince her to accept his proposal, one of the guests called out, “What about the prize?”

  “Yes, yes,” several of the others answered. “Did you find the prize?”

  Adolphus glanced back to the stable. Eliza did as well. “I suppose Lady Rothsay won the prize,” she said.

  “She may need some help returning it to the house,” Rufus said, his smile growing.

  He nodded toward the stable and the crowd of party guests moved forward with him. Once again, the poor horses in their stalls were surprised and disturbed to be invaded by well-dressed, slightly damp noblemen and women and the noise they made. The din caused by the whispers of expectation was deafening once they were all crammed into the stable. It was almost, but not quite, enough to cover the oddly familiar sounds coming from the room where the treasure chest resided.

  “Rufus, you may want to wait—” Adolphus called out, hurrying to the front of the group as Rufus reached the door.

  It was too late. In a comical repetition of just minutes early, Rufus threw open the door to the smaller room, revealing the sight of Lady Rothsay, completely naked, riding the stable master in much the same position as Miss Ivy had and with equal intensity. The flurry of chatter from the other house guests stopped abruptly, stretching back through the guests who couldn’t actually see into the room but who packed the stable.

  Unlike Miss Iv
y, however, Lady Rothsay didn’t scream or push away from the stable master. Instead, without breaking her stride, she called over her shoulder in a panting voice, “Just a moment. I’m almost there. Oh!”

  Adolphus didn’t know whether to gape and sputter in shock or to laugh. He took a large step back, holding out his arms so that the others were forced to move back as well. Rufus shut the door as carefully as he could, leaning his back against it and facing the crowd with a sheepish expression.

  “Er, they just need a moment to finish up, then we can carry the treasure back to the house and enjoy it,” he said.

  “Looks as though Lady Rothsay is already enjoying it,” someone in the middle of the crush of people called.

  She was met with laughter from the others, but that was drowned out moments later by the unmistakable sound of Lady Rothsay finishing what she’d started with a fantastic cry of, “Yes, dear heavens, yes!”

  Adolphus cleared his throat and tugged at his collar as the majority of the people cramming the stable laughed. His discomfort wasn’t eased one bit when Eliza took his hand, leaned close, and whispered, “I think Lady Rothsay’s definition of a prize is exactly the right one.” She leaned even closer. “And I think we should claim our own prize with all due haste.”

  Chapter 10

  Eliza couldn’t have imagined events reaching such a satisfying conclusion. In the true spirit of what was becoming the most raucous and scandalous summer house party she had ever known, Lady Rothsay emerged from the room in the stable, dressed in her breeches and doublet once more, to a riotous cheer from the other guests. They carried her and the heavy treasure chest back to the house and the grand parlor.

  The chest was opened, revealing bottle after bottle of smuggled, French wine, and the celebration that followed was enough to leave Eliza laughing to the point of tears.

  “I dare say that none of the participants in today’s activities, or the party in general will be able to remember the myriad scandals that have happened already,” she said, clutching her stomach as a stitch formed in her side from all the laughter.