‘Emily’s here,’ Anton said, and Louise jumped up and smiled as Emily was wheeled over.
Yes, Louise was far from the tiniest infant here but the machines and equipment were terrifying and Ellie talked them through it.
‘I’m going to go,’ Louise said, and gave Emily a kiss. ‘I’ll come and see you tomorrow. Send me a text tonight. Oh, and here …’ She handed over a little pink package. ‘Open it later. Just enjoy your time with her now.’
She gave her friend a quick cuddle then she and Anton left them to it.
‘Do you want to come to Mum and Dad’s?’ Louise asked, as they stopped by his office to get his laptop.
‘Will it cause a lot of questions for you?’
‘Torrents,’ Louise said, but then the most delicious smell diverted her and she peeked out the door, to see Alex and Jennifer heading onto the ward with two plates and lots of containers.
‘Alex,’ Louise called, and they turned round.
‘They’re up seeing the baby,’ Louise explained.
‘Oh, we didn’t come to see them,’ Jennifer said, and Louise jumped in.
‘How sweet of you to bring Christmas dinner for the obstetrician and midwife,’ Louise teased, watching Jennifer turn purple as Anton stepped out.
‘Anton.’ Alex smiled warmly. ‘Merry Christmas.’
‘Merry Christmas,’ Anton said.
‘You haven’t met Jennifer …’
‘Jennifer.’ Anton smiled. ‘Merry Christmas.’
‘Merry Christmas,’ Jennifer croaked, and then turned frantic eyes to Louise. ‘We don’t want to disturb Emily and Hugh, we were just going to leave them a dinner for tonight … She was practically thrusting the plates at Louise. ‘We’ll leave these with you.’
But Louise refused to be rushed.
‘That’s so nice of you,’ Louise said, but instead of taking the plates she peeked under the foil. ‘Jennifer, Emily didn’t just give birth to a foal—there’s enough here to feed a horse.’
It looked and smelt amazing and Louise was shameless in her want for a taste, not just for her but for Anton too. ‘That’s what a traditional Christmas dinner looks like, Anton.’ Louise smiled sweetly at Jennifer. ‘It’s Anton’s first Christmas in England,’ Louise explained, and of course she would get her way. ‘What a shame he’s never tasted a really nice one.’
‘I’m sure there’s enough for everyone,’ Alex said, oblivious to his wife’s tension around Anton, and Jennifer gave in.
‘Luckily my husband’s good with a scalpel!’
It was a very delicate operation.
They went into the kitchen and got out tea plates.
Louise and Anton got two Brussels sprouts each, one roast potato and two slivers of parsnips in butter as Anton watched, fascinated by the argument taking place.
‘I don’t think Emily needs six piggies in blankets,’ Louise said.
‘Piggies in blankets?’ Anton checked.
‘Sausages wrapped in bacon,’ Alex translated.
‘Two each, then,’ Jennifer said, and Alex added them to the tea plates.
‘How much turkey can they have?’ Alex asked.
‘A slice each,’ Jennifer said. ‘Emily needs her protein.’
Louise shook her head.
‘Okay, one and a half,’ Jennifer relented.
Alex duly divided.
They got one Yorkshire pudding each too, as well as home-made cranberry and bread sauce, and finally dinner was served!
‘You can go now.’ Louise smiled. ‘Merry Christmas.’
She put sticky notes on Hugh and Emily’s plates, warning everyone to keep their greedy mitts off, then Louise closed the kitchen door.
She found a used birthday candle among the ward’s Christmas paraphernalia and stuck it in a stale mince pie as their Christmas dinners rotated in the microwave and then she turned the lights off.
‘Do you want to pull a cracker?’
‘Bon-bon,’ Anton said, but they cracked two and sat in hats and, oh, my, Jennifer’s cooking was divine, even if you had to fight her to taste it.
‘How do you know Jennifer?’ Louise asked, as she smeared bread sauce over her turkey.
‘I don’t.’
‘Anton!’ Louise looked at his deadpan face. ‘No way was that the first time you two have met. Is she pregnant again?’ Louise frowned. ‘She must be in her mid-forties …’
‘I don’t know what you’re on about,’ Anton said, though his lips were twitching to tell.
‘Are you having an affair with Jennifer?’ Louise asked, smiling widely.
‘Where the hell did you produce that from?’ Anton smiled back.
‘Anton, Jennifer went purple when she saw you and I just know you’ve seen each other before.’
‘I don’t know if I like this bread sauce,’ was Anton’s response to her probing.
‘It’s addictive,’ Louise said, and gave up fishing.
It was the nicest Christmas dinner ever—perfect food, the best company and a baby named Louise snug and safe nearby. After they had finished their delectable meal Louise went over and sat on his knee. ‘Thank you for a lovely Christmas, Anton.’
‘Thank you,’ Anton said, because what she’d told him, though upsetting, hadn’t spoiled his Christmas. Instead, it had drawn them closer.
‘We both deserve it, I think.’
She felt his arms on her back, lightly stroking the clasp of her bra and as she rested her head on his shoulder it felt the safest place in the world.
‘Do you understand why I’m so wary?’
‘Now I do,’ Anton said. ‘I’m glad you were able to tell me and I am so sorry for what happened to you.’
It was then Louise let her dreams go; well, not for ever, but she put them on hold for a while.
‘I’m going to cancel my appointment,’ Louise said, and she didn’t lift her head, not now because she couldn’t look him in the eye but because she didn’t want Anton to see her cry. ‘Well, I’m going to go and get the test results back but I’m not going to go for the IVF.’
He could hear her thick voice and knew there were tears and he rubbed her back.
‘Thank you,’ Anton said, and they sat for a moment, Anton glad for the chance for them, Louise grateful for it too but just a bit sad for now, though she soon chirped up.
‘When I say cancelling the IVF I meant that I’m postponing it,’ Louise amended. ‘No pressure or anything but I’m not waiting till I’m forty for you to make up your mind whether you want us to be together.’
‘You have to make your mind up too,’ Anton pointed out.
‘Oh, I did yesterday,’ Louise said, and pulled her head back and smiled into his eyes. ‘I’m already in.’ She gave him a light kiss before standing to head for home.
‘You’re stuck with me now.’
CHAPTER NINETEEN
AS THEY WALKED out they bumped into Rory, who was on his way up to NICU to check in on a six-week-old who was doing his level best to spoil everyone’s Christmas.
‘You look tired,’ Louise said.
‘Very,’ Rory admitted. ‘I’m just off to break some bad news to a family.’
‘What time do you finish?’ Louise asked.
‘Six.’
‘Do you want to come for a rubbish dinner at Mum’s?’ Louise asked.
‘God, no.’ Rory smiled.
‘Honestly, if Anton and you both come then Mum will assume I’m just bringing all the strays and foreigners who are lonely … she pointed her thumb in Anton’s direction ‘… rather than grilling me about him.’ She knew Rory’s family lived miles away. ‘You don’t want to be on your own on Christmas night.’
‘I won’t be on my own,’ Rory said. ‘Thanks for offering, though. I’m going to Gina’s to help her celebrate her first sober Christmas in who knows how long.’
‘Gina?’ Louise checked. ‘Is she the one you’re—?’
‘She’s always been the one,’ Rory said. ‘It’s nearly killed me to w
atch her self-destruct.’ He stood there on the edge of breaking down as Anton’s hand came on his shoulder. ‘Nothing’s ever happened between us,’ Rory explained. ‘And nothing can.’
‘Why?’ Louise asked.
‘Because she’s in treatment and you’re not supposed to have a relationship for at least a year.’
‘Does she know how you feel?’ Louise asked.
‘No, because I don’t want to confuse her. She’s trying to sort her stuff out and I don’t want to add to it.’
‘She’s so lucky to have you,’ Louise said, ‘even if she doesn’t know that she has.’ Louise let out a breath. ‘Who’s going to speak to the parents with you?’
‘Just me,’ Rory said. ‘They’re all busy with Henry.’
‘I know the parents,’ Louise said to Rory. ‘You’re not doing that on your own. Is there any hope?’
‘A smudge,’ Rory said, and they headed back to NICU and Anton stood and waited as Louise and Rory went in to see the parents.
Anton loved her love.
How she gave it away and then, when surely there should be nothing left, she still gave more.
How she walked so pale out of a horrible room and cuddled her ex as Anton stood there, the least jealous guy in the world. He was simply glad that Rory had Louise to lean on as Anton remembered that horrible Christmas when he’d been the one breaking bad news.
He would be grateful to Rory for ever for being there for Louise last year.
As they walked out into the grey Christmas afternoon and to Anton’s car, Louise spoke.
‘Rory’s right not to tell Gina how he feels,’ Louise said.
‘Do you think?’
‘I do.’ Louise nodded. ‘I think you do need a whole year to recover from anything big. Not close to a year, you need every single day of it, you need to go through each milestone, each anniversary and do them differently, and as of today I have.’
It had been a hard year, though the previous one had been harder—estranged from family and friends and losing herself in the process. But now here she was, a little bit older, a whole lot wiser, and certainly Louise was herself.
Yes, she was grateful for those difficult years.
It had brought her here after all.
CHAPTER TWENTY
‘OOH…’ LOUISE REACHED for her phone as it bleeped. ‘We do need to stop on our way to the hotel for condoms because it would seem that I just ovulated.’
‘You get an alert when you ovulate?’ Anton shook his head in disbelief.
‘Well, I put in all my cycles and temperatures and things and it calculates it. It’s great …’
‘You’re going to be one of those old ladies who talks about her bowels, aren’t you?’
‘God, yes.’ Louise laughed at the thought. ‘I’ll probably have an app for it.’
The thing was, Anton wanted to be the old man to see it.
‘Where’s a bloody chemist when you need one?’ Louise grumbled, going through her phone as Anton drove on and came to the biggest, yet ultimately the easiest decision of his life.
‘We could stop at a pub,’ Louise suggested. ‘Nip in to the loos and raid the machines.’
‘We’re not stopping, Louise. You need to get to your mum’s.’
Louise sulked all the way back to the hotel and even more so when they came out of the elevator and she swiped her entry card to their room. ‘I’ve got the hotel room, a hot Italian and no bloody condoms. Where’s the justice, I ask you …’
And then the door opened and she simply stopped speaking. For a moment Louise thought she had the wrong room because it was in darkness save for the twinkling fairly-lights reflecting off the tinsel. She had never seen a room more overly decorated, Louise thought. There was green, silver, red and gold tinsel, there were lights hanging everywhere. It was gaudy, it was loud and so, so beautiful.
‘You did this?’
‘I don’t want you ever to think of a hotel room on Christmas Day and be sad again. I want this to be your memory.’
‘How?’
‘I rang them,’ Anton said. ‘They were worried it looked over the top, but I reassured them you can never have too much tinsel.’
‘It’s the nicest thing you could have done.’
‘Yet,’ Anton said, for he intended many nice things for Louise.
They started to kiss, a lovely long kiss that led them to bed. A kiss that had them peeling off their clothes and Louise stared up at the twinkling lights as slowly he removed her underwear, kissing her everywhere.
‘Anton …’ She was all hot and could barely breathe as he removed her bra and kissed her breasts. Louise unwrapped her presents with haste; Anton took his time.
‘Anton …’ she pleaded, touching herself in frustration as he slid down her panties, desperate for the soft warmth of his mouth.
‘Your turn next,’ Louise said, as, panties off, he kissed up her thigh. Right now she just wanted to concentrate on the lovely feel of his mouth there, except his mouth now teased her stomach and then went back to her breasts, swirling them with his tongue and then working back up to her mouth.
His erection was there, nudging her entrance, teasing her with small thrusts, and her hands balled in frustration.
‘We don’t have any—’
‘Do you want to try for a baby?’ Anton said, throwing caution to a delectable wind that had chased him for, oh, quite a while now.
‘Our baby?’ Louise checked.
‘I would hope so.’ Anton smiled.
‘You’re sure?’
‘Very,’ Anton said. ‘But are you?’
He didn’t need to ask twice, but the ever-changing Louise changed again, right there in his arms.
‘I’m very sure, but it isn’t just a baby I want now. I want to have a baby with you,’ Louise said.
‘You shall,’ Anton said, and it brought tears to her eyes because here was the man she loved, who would do all he could to make sure her dream came true.
The feel of him unsheathed driving into her had Louise let out a sob of pleasure. For Anton, it was heady bliss. Sensations sharpened, and he felt the warm grip and then the kiss of her cervix, welcoming him over and over again, till for Anton that was it.
The final swell of him, the passion that shot into her tipped Louise deep into orgasm. Her legs tight around him, she dragged him in deeper and let out a little scream. Then she held him there for her pleasure, just to feel each and every pulse and twitch from them as his breathing made love to her ear.
She looked up at the twinkling lights and never again would she think of Christmas and not remember this.
‘What are you doing?’ Anton spoke to the pillow as, still inside her, Louise’s hand reached across the bed.
‘Taking a photo,’ Louise said, aiming her camera at the fairy-lights. And capturing the moment, she knew she’d found love, for ever.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
‘WILL IT BE a problem, us working together?’ Louise asked. They were back at her home, with Louise grabbing everyone’s presents from under her tree. ‘Honestly, it’s something we need to speak about.’
‘We’ll be fine,’ Anton said. ‘Louise, the reason I came down harder on you than anyone is because of what happened in Italy that day when it did all go wrong … but you’re an amazing midwife, over and over I’ve seen it. Aside from personally, I love working with you. I know that the patients get the very best care.’
‘Thank you,’ Louise said. ‘Still, if we get sick of each other …’ She stopped then and looked at the amazing man beside her. She could never get tired of looking at him, working alongside him, getting to know him.
‘I got you two presents,’ Louise said.
He opened the first annoying slowly. It was beautifully wrapped and he took his time then smiled at black and white sweets wrapped in Cellophane.
‘Humbugs,’ Louise said, and popped one in her mouth and then gave him a very nice kiss.
‘Peppermint,’ Anton replied, having
taken it from her mouth.
He opened the other present a little more quickly, given its strange shape, to find a large pepperoni.
‘Reminds me of,’ Louise teased, ‘my first kiss with the pizza man and I’m also ensuring that if we ever do break up then you will never be able to eat pepperoni, or taste mint, without thinking of me. I’ve just hexed you orally.’
‘You are a witch!’
‘I am!’ Louise smiled.
‘Then you would know already that I love you.’
‘I do.’ Louise’s eyes were misty with tears as he confirmed his feelings.
‘And, if you are a witch, you would know just how much I love you and that I would never, ever hurt you.’
‘I do know that,’ Louise said. ‘And if you’re my wizard you’ll already know that I love you with all my heart.’
‘I do.’
‘But I’m about to make you suffer.’ She smiled at his slight frown. ‘We need to get to Mum’s.’
Louise’s family were as mad as the woman they had produced.
Anton watched as they tore open their presents.
‘A cookery book?’ Susan blinked. ‘Oh, and a lesson. It’s a lovely thought, Louise, but I don’t need a cookery lesson …’
‘It’s for charity, Mum.’
‘I could teach her a thing or three,’ Susan said, ‘but I suppose if it’s for charity …’ She smiled a bright smile. ‘Time for dinner. It’s so late, you must all be starving.’
They headed to the dining room, which was decorated with so much tinsel that Anton realised where Louise’s little problem stemmed from.
At first Anton had no idea what Louise was talking about when she had moaned about her mother’s cooking.
It looked as good as Jennifer’s, it even smelt as good as Jennifer’s, but, oh, my, the taste.
‘That,’ Anton said, after an incredibly long twenty minutes, putting down his knife and sweating in relief that he’d cleared his plate, ‘was amazing, Susan.’
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