Secrets over Sweet Tea
Page 33
Reclaiming my heart was one of the most painfully beautiful things I have ever done. I had to go into some of the darkest places of my own soul, confront some of my poor choices and broken patterns of behavior, and begin to understand why I had operated the way I had for so long. Then I had to start breaking those patterns and learn to engage life in a new and healthy way. The journey was at times excruciating. The joys, however, have been breathtaking.
I always count it a privilege to share stories with you. This one is more personal than any we have shared together. May it challenge you, encourage you, and remind you how valuable your heart is, that it needs to be guarded “above all else” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV).
About the Author
Denise Hildreth Jones has spent the last eight years writing fiction that has been hailed as both “smart and witty.” Her ability to express the heart of the Southern voice has led to her being featured twice in Southern Living and receiving the accolades of readers and reviewers alike, but it is the simple joy of writing stories that keeps them coming.
Denise makes her home in Franklin, Tennessee, with her husband, five bonus children, and her dog. And on her days off, she will settle for a long walk or a good book and a Coca-Cola.
Visit Denise’s website at www.denisehildrethjones.com.
Discussion Questions
Would you call Scarlett Jo nosy or neighborly? Why? Do you know anyone like her? Would you like to have her as a friend?
At the end of chapter 3, Grace receives a small blessing—what she calls a gift from heaven. Have you ever experienced something similar—a small, unexpected blessing either from God or a friend that helped get you through a particularly tough time? What was it and how did it help you?
What finally pushes Grace to a decision about Tyler and their relationship? Do you think she made the right choice? Why or why not? Have you ever faced a difficult, life-changing decision? If so, what was the deciding point for you—or are you still struggling with it?
In Matthew 19, Jesus says divorce is not what God originally intended for man. But we all know that divorce is rampant in our society. What contributes to this trend? What else does the Bible say about divorce? If you have come out of a broken relationship or know someone in a similar situation, what have you learned from that? How has divorce affected your other relationships?
At the end of chapter 11, when Grace is grieving her divorce, Scarlett Jo says she’s not worried because “sometimes a person has to die in order to really live.” What do you think she means by that? Do you agree?
Rachel encourages Grace’s dream, “not because it’s smart. Not because it will make someone else happy. Not because it’s practical or makes sense in the long run. But just because you want to do it.” What dreams do you have that you would like to explore with this kind of freedom? What is holding you back? Is there anyone in your life to whom you can offer this kind of encouragement?
Have you ever experienced shame the way Grace and Zach do? Or do you know someone who may be ashamed of the way their life has turned out? In chapter 18, Scarlett Jo tells Grace that wallowing in shame is wrong for two reasons. What are they? How could her advice apply to you or someone you know?
When Zach’s affair is first exposed, he takes the blame for the demise of his marriage entirely on his shoulders. While he alone bears the responsibility for starting an affair, do you think Zach is right about all of his and Caroline’s problems being his fault? What are some of the warning signs that their marriage was in trouble that he and Caroline should have recognized earlier? What are some of the ways each of them contributed to the problems between them? What healthy steps could they have taken to turn their marriage around? If you are married, how can you apply some of these lessons to your own marriage?
In chapter 20, Zach reflects on the frenetic pace of his and Caroline’s lives over the past several years. Have you experienced times or seasons of life where things run at a frenetic pace and you can’t find peace? What steps can you take to cut out distractions and let your heart “settle”? What are some of the dangers if we do not make that effort?
Jackson talks to Zach about the concept of a shut-down heart and how that can look different for different people. What are some of the examples he gives in chapter 22? Did you see any of those characteristics match up with the characters in the story?
When Scarlett Jo comes face-to-face with someone from her past, that experience seems to ruin her though she thought she had processed her emotions over him. Have you ever had a similar experience? How did you handle it? Do you think the process of reclaiming your heart is a one-and-done thing or something you need to do on an almost-daily basis?
How does the need for control affect the characters in this story? Do you identify more with Grace, who figured out early on that she needed to let go? With Scarlett Jo, who thought you only had to deal with your issues once and forgot that sometimes living means dying daily? Or with Caroline, who felt like she was under someone’s control for years?