Asia look down at Aaron head, he was facing her, the unabashed tears streaming down his face.
“Aaron,” she whispered. His head rose; looking at her pained face.
“I’m sorry.” Aaron sat on the side of the bed, looking into her eyes.
“Baby, its not your fault.”
“Yes Aaron, it is, I didn’t know I was pregnant, how could I not know,” she stated crying again. “I lost your child, the only part of you I would ever have, I’m sorry.” She groaned.
“You have pain?” he asked. She nodded folding her lip against the pain.
“I’ll call the nurse,” he told her.
Asia lay back. Brie and Trevet entered the room. Asia looked at them.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured softly.
Brie went to her. “Oh Baby, it not your fault.” Brie said soothingly, smoothing her hair back. “Honey, when you get out, your coming home with us.”
The nurse entered with the medicine, giving her a shot. Asia looked up at Brie. The medicine worked within the minute. Her eyes shut, and then opened. Asia reached for her, Brie took her hand.
“I want my Mother, where is my Mother? She asked confused.
“I’m here, sweetie, you sleep now,” Brie said rubbing her hair. Trevet stood beside his wife.
“I love you,” she said to them and closed her eyes.
Aaron sat in the chair and wept. His father went to him, Aaron looked up at him.
“Dad, you know I hoped she carry the baby, although the doctor said, she many not, I still hoped.”
“I know Son,” Trevet said, “You could have other children.
Aaron shook his head. “I think its to late for me and Asia,” he stated dejected.
“Have you told her you love her?” Trevet asked. Aaron remained silent.
“You haven’t,” his father said sighing. “What are you waiting for Aaron, life to short for your selfish reasoning, you better tell her before its to late.”
“Dad, I want what you and Mom have,” Aaron replied.
“Son it took me a while to admit I loved your mother, she loved me, I had hesitations about love, I used the excuse she wasn’t ready, when it was I who wasn’t ready. When I thought I was losing her that’s when I realized my life was nothing without you and your mother. We have our disagreements, all couples do, but our love for one another over powers it all; your mother almost left me once, because I was stupid, so Son, look into yourself and realize what you have.”
Aaron listened to his father and found truth in his words.
Asia was out of the hospital; she stayed with Brie and Trevet they insisted on it. Aaron was at his parent’s house most every night. Everyone knew this was their time to heal, after the loss of the baby. Brie and Trevet stood by the patio door, watching them as they sat a cross from each other, holding hands.
At first Asia didn’t talk much, still traumatized by all that had happened. Slowly she started finding herself again. At night, she could be heard whimpering, in her nightmares, but Aaron was there to see her through them. She started composing again, her hip was improving and she was walking with out her brace. No one knew how she and Aaron would be, they all knew Asia loved Aaron, but Aaron was still holding out. Their friends decided it was time for Aaron to take his fall like a man.
Brie and Trevet would smile and shake their heads, and hope that boy wakes up before it was to late.
Later that night Brie and Asia sat in her bedroom. They had become very close, in the three months she was with them.
“Mom,” Asia said, “I’m going to go back to the loft.”
Brie nodded. She knew she would be going soon, she just enjoyed her company. “I know honey, your just across town, we will see each other.”
Asia paused and exhaled, she didn’t know how to say what she was about to say.
She sighed again. “Aaron and I decided we would be just friends,” she said sadly.
Asia head lowered, Brie knew Asia didn’t want that.
“Who’s idea was that?” Brie asked disappointed.
“I suggested it.” she admitted. She shrugged, “Aaron is not sure what he wants, and I don’t want him to feel tied to me because of the baby, and anyway I’ll be on tour most of the time, and with recording we’d never see each other.
It was a logical decision, Brie thought.
“Do you love my son Asia?” Brie asked seriously.
“I love him enough to give him the space he needs, there could never be any other man for me but Aaron, Mom.”
“Then why settle for nothing?”
“Because Aaron needs this time. He would have never suggested it, he thinks I’m fragile, so I did what he couldn’t, I think he was relieved.” she shrugged, “How could I not do this for him, he saved my life more than anyone knows, and if he feels he could be happy elsewhere then who am I to stop that.”
Asia made it sound so simply, but Brie knew better, Asia’s heart was breaking.
“What about your happiness?” Brie asked her dolefully.
“I have my music.”
“Yes, you do, but is it enough.” Brie stated. Asia hugged her tight.
Brie changed the subject. “Dad’s doesn’t think your ready to be alone yet.” she told her.
Asia smiled. “I love you both so much,” she said tears she didn’t want filling her eyes, and fell anyway. Brie pulled her into her arms. Brie knew her heart was breaking, and she held Asia until no more tears came.
Asia lay across her bed, going over the itinerary for the tour. This would be the first time she was out in the public since the shooting. She had started working on her second CD, and wanted to focus only on that. She rolled to her back, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Aaron.
She reflected back to their conversation; the day she released him for any obligation to her.
“Hey Beautiful,” Aaron said bending to kiss her. She remembered it was a nice day outside as she sat on the patio, letting the sunshine on her face.
Asia smiled. “Aaron sit, we need to talk.” she said softly.
He sat across from her, taking her hands gazing deep into her green eyes.
“What wrong?” Aaron asked seeing the sadness in the depth of her eyes, although she was trying hard to disguise it.
Asia knew of only one way to say what she had to say.
“Aaron its time for us to let go,” she stated bluntly.
He frowned, confused. “Let go?” he repeated, “What are you saying Asia?”
“Of each other, its killing us.”
Aaron stared at her, a frown on his handsome face.
“You want us to stop seeing each other?” Asia nodded.
Aaron rose, and walked away his back to her. He looked back at her.
“Why now Asia? he ground out to her.
“You need this Aaron, you need time to find out what you want, and I’m just tired of hanging on, I just want to let go, let you go.”
“What if I don’t want this, Asia?” She could see the anger slow invading his body.
“Please Aaron,” she replied, “Think; you say that now, then later you’ll regret it because you’re not ready for commitment. I want it all Aaron not just the part of you that you give me bed. I want it all. I want the part of you you’re not ready or willing to give and I won’t let the loss of our child keep you in my life, because you feel obligated, the loss of our child was not your fault, I wouldn’t want you out of obligation.” Asia said firmly, a little harsher than she meant.
Aaron looked at her searching her face for truth in her declaration.
“Aaron I’ll be okay, I’m doing what you can’t do, all your capable of is friendship, so that’s what I give you.”
“Do you still…”
“Yes Aaron, of course, I love you,” she interrupted, “You are my friend, my light,” Asia said smiling to blinking back the tears that were building in her eyes.
Aaron watched her closely, looking far any sign that she was not sure about her decision to l
eave. He saw none.
“Okay Asia, just friends, if that is what you want.”
Asia heart sank lower. He didn’t even try to talk her out of it, that only reaffirm that Aaron will never love her.
He reach down, pulled her into his arms holding her tightly.
Asia’s eyes closed and she took a deep shaky breath, and then pulled away from him. She needed to get away from him before he saw how this was slowly killing her.
“See ya Aaron,” Asia said and limped away from him.
When she saw him last, she didn’t tell him she going back to the loft. She had to make a clean break or attempt to. Give him the time and space he needed to find himself. However, that didn’t stop her from missing him. He should know by now, she surmised, she had been at home about two weeks now. She rose removing her clothes; she stood in the mirror looking at her nude body, touching the scars from the shooting. She rubbed her hand across her flat stomach, and wonder will she ever have children, but she wanted Aaron’s children, only Aaron’s children. She sighed and went to the shower.
Aaron sat with Martin at the Atlanta Buteo’s hang out. Aaron told Martin Asia broke it off permanently.
“So it’s really over for you and Asia? Martin asked.
“Yep, its really over,” Aaron said nonchalantly.
Martin shook his head. “I don’t understand who did the breaking?”
“We both agreed, its for the best,” Aaron said sipping on his beer. Martin looked at his friend confused.
“But you stayed with her through her convalescences, and you lost a child together, and still you both decided to call it quits.”
“We’re still friends.”
Martin knew Aaron and Asia, if anything Asia did this for him. “Aaron did you tell her you love her?
“Nope.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to talk about Asia, anyway she going on tour, she’ll be gone for a while, what kind of life is that, if she touring all the time, plus with football season, when will we see each other, its for the best.” Aaron said draining his beer.
Martin shook his head. “You’re a fool, my friend. You will never find a woman as kind and loving as Asia. What are you going to take up with Shanna again; now if its love your trying to avoid, Shanna’s the one, she loves two things, that’s herself and your money; but then you don’t love anyone, but yourself so maybe breaking Asia’s heart is worth it.” Martin said disappointed in his friend.
“Her hearts in tack, she did the breaking.” Aaron replied sarcastically.
“You really believe that don’t you, did you ever really listen to the song she wrote about you?”
“Yeah I did.”
“Then you are a fool.”
“Look Martin this love and commitment thing is your bag, not mine, give me a JD shot,” he told the bartender.
“And you know what Aaron, I wouldn’t give up what I have for the world,” he said rising. “Asia was the best thing that happen to your life. She loves you and if you didn’t know, she gave you what you wanted, your freedom and saved you the guilt, because lets face it, that what you wanted, and she wants to see you happy, even if it’s at her own sake. I hope its not to late for you,” Martin sighed, and threw money on the bar.
“You’re my best friend, I love you, but you’re a fool, your going to lose her and when you realize you love her she will be gone. See ya Aaron.”
Aaron sat for a while. It was over, she has a life now, she has her music. He knew Asia loved him, but he couldn’t love her the way she deserved. He ordered another shot, downing the fiery liquid.
“I miss you Asia,” he said under his breath.
He needed to see her. He knew she had went back to he loft, and was leaving in a couple days; he had to see her before she left, he didn’t know when he would see her again. Paying for his drinks, he left the bar.
Asia was just stepping from the shower, a towel wrapped around her when she heard the knock at her door. She frowned and looked at the clock, it was late.
“Yes,” she said through the door.
“Asia,” Aaron said through the door.
“Aaron,” she said surprised and opened the door. He walked pass her, she closed the door.
“You alright?” she asked concerned.
“I’m sorry you were in the shower,” he said nervous.
“No, I’m finished.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked. Aaron stood silently.
“Aaron?” she said frowning.
“I want you,” he blurted out.
“Aaron, no, we can’t, we decided to be just friend, if I allow this it will make it harder for us to part, no.”
“Asia, I need to feel you, please one last time Baby.”
“Aaron, I ..,” she paused, “No we can’t, don’t make this harder than it already is...”
“I know you, you want me just as badly, I know it,” he said interrupting her.
Asia turned from him. He was right. What would it hurt? She did want him, and she was leaving in a couple days.
Asia dropped the towel, and turned to him. He pulled her to him, her head rested on his chest. She could hear his heart pounding against his chest.
Asia pulled away, walking to the bed; she said “Take off your clothes.”
He stripped and joined her on the bed. Asia lay looking up at him.
“Asia don’t do this if you don’t feel this,” he said huskily.
“I want you because my body craves no other.” she said softly, as she reached out and touched his face. “I want you, I’ll always want you, even knowing you can’t love me I’ll want you. She touched his mouth with her fingers. He sighed.
She pulled his head down to her, her mouth inches away from his.
“Make love to me one last time,” she said, and lifted her head and press her mouth to his.
“Asia, I can’t get enough of you,” he whispered against her mouth.
They lay tangled in each other arms. Aaron prayed this wouldn’t be his last time with her, but he knew in his heart it had to be. Asia held on to him, not wanting to let go, as tears rolled down the side of her face, each knowing they had to let go.
Chapter 11
Nervous excitement filled the room as everyone sat around the large screen TV at Brie and Trevet’s home; the only one missing was Aaron. Martin and Tia along with their parents, and Tracy and Calvin were there. Michael, Thomas, Eddie and Wayne were in LA with Asia as her bodyguards. This was Asia’s TV debut, nominated for Best New Artist award by a popular award show, and was performing a cut from her CD. She had been on the road with Benny, Chez, Wilson, and Rhonda for the past three months when the news came. She promised called Brie and Trevet from every city she was performing to assure she was fine.
Everyone was talking at once. “Sh. Sh,” Trevet said, “This is it.”
“Now the nominee for Best New Female Artist, Asia Brooks, Valance, Cheri and Tawny,” the presenter paused opening the envelope, “and the winner is Asia Brooks!”
The camera shone on her with the guys beside her standing Chez and Wilson jumping up and down. Asia sat for a minute, her hands covered her face. Benny pulled her up hugging her, walking with her to the podium. The audience were on their feet applauding and cheering.
“She looks beautiful.” Brie said tears of pride rolling down her face.
She wore a teal sequin gown that Vessa had especially made for her. The gown fit her curvaceous body; the neckline modest, with a slit opening in the back to her waist, the gown was classic and simply made. Her long hair pulled back in a severe chignon.
“Our girl is beautiful.” Trevet said choked, proud. The audience was still cheering loudly, when she began to speak.
“I like to thank God,” she stated sincerely. She looked at he award. “This means so much to me, I want to thank Benny, my manager,” she said looking at him, taking his hand. Tianna Marauders, my stylists, Chez, Wilson, Rhonda, Vessa, my producer Wayne, Royal Records for wanting m
e, Tia, Martin, Tracy, Calvin, I love you, thanks for the support. Mom and Dad I love you.” She paused. “Aaron always in my heart, thank you!”
Tia looked at Brie, and tilted her head toward Aaron who had come in; he stared at the TV. Everyone looked over at him.
“Hello Son, did you see our girl.” his father asked. He nodded, but remained somber, which was his mood of late. The phone rang.
“Hello,” Brie answered.
“Mom did you see it?” Asia asked.
“Its Asia,” Brie said to everyone, they all greeted her.
“Oh yes, Baby, we’re so proud.”
“Mom I can’t talk long, I have to go on soon, tell everyone I love them; Mom did Aaron see, is he there?”
“Yes, sweetie, he’s here.” Brie said looking at her son smiling.
“I have to go, love you!”
After a few more awards, Asia was announced again. “Welcome Asia Brooks, featuring Tianna’s Marauder’s.”
The lights on the stage lit up slowly, as her music started slow and melodically. She was begin carried by the four large men, in black tuxedoes. Asia lay on her back, her arms extended out, carried high above their heads by one arm. They moved slow and precise, all in sync with the other.
Tia grinned, proud of her guy’s. Aaron looked at Tia. “If they drop her, Tia I swear...”
Martin smiled, “Where did I hear that before?” he said looking at his friend. Aaron smiled.
Asia sat up, easily. The men lower her to the stage. No one realized they were holding their breath, until she was on the floor. The audience cheered.
All the time they carried her Asia was singing. She had on a sequined iridescent jump suit that glimmered, and seem to change color with the bright lights. The tempo increased. Tia dancers came out behind her, dancing around her. Asia danced with them. By mid way through the song, the Marauder’s were line up behind her. Standing at attention. The dancers left the stage, and Asia sang the last phrase of the song. By now, the Marauder’s were center stage, standing in a staircase formation, each ones hand extended. When the song ended, Asia walked to them with her sexy, vivacious walk, her hips swaying to the music, and step into each one hands as if climbing a stair, without even a waver, they switched hands and she lay on her back, they rose and she exited the stage like she entered it, being carried off the stage. The crowd roared.
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