by Scotty Cade
When he finished, Thompson and Hank were packed and standing with their bags at the bottom of the companionway stairs. Garner nodded. “I’m ready.”
“We are too,” Hank said. “I guess this is it, then. Goodbye, Garner.”
“How about if we just say so long?” Garner asked. “It doesn’t sound so final.”
“If that makes you feel better, sure,” Thompson said. “So long, Garner. I’ll be forever grateful for everything you did for us. And if you ever find yourself in our neck of the woods, you always have a place to stay.”
“I appreciate that,” Garner said.
The three men did a group hug and made their way up the stairs and to the truck.
After a quick stop at a Wendy’s drive-thru to get Hawk something to eat, they reached the hospital. Garner leaned up and rested one hand on Thompson’s shoulder and the other on Hank’s. “You guys—” He stopped, too choked up to speak. “I love you both,” he barely managed to say before he lost it completely. He climbed out of the truck and sat on a bench in front of the hospital and cried like a baby as he watched his friends drive off, probably for the last time.
Chapter 11
HAWK WAS sitting in the corner of the hospital waiting room. His head was flooded with so many mixed emotions he was having trouble sorting them out and assigning them to the specific saga going on in his life.
He was thrilled that Justin was improving with each visit to the NICU and that his prognosis was getting better and better. But Hawk was also processing Garner’s departure, which, surprisingly, made him feel like he had a bit of a hole in his heart. His emotions were raw, and he couldn’t figure out if Garner’s decision to leave was so damn difficult to take because of what he’d been through with Justin or something else. Could I have really gotten this attached to someone in less than a week? Hawk wasn’t completely sure, but he decided it wasn’t likely. He never got attached to anyone.
He battled internally for a while and finally convinced himself it was just the scare with Justin that had his emotions running rampant. And besides, it didn’t matter either way; Garner had already made the decision to leave. And although he was going to miss the man, he figured it was probably for the best, especially considering all their personal baggage.
But a little voice way in the back of his subconscious kept rearing its ugly head. You told him you couldn’t ask him to stay. But… why couldn’t you?
“Oh hell no!” Hawk mumbled.
He shook his head in an attempt to clear the obviously insane voice and tried to focus on his best friend.
Hawk was watching the clock and anticipating his next visit with Justin when Sergeant White from the KWPD stopped by to check in on the patient and fill them in on what had happened. According to statements from the eyewitnesses and the driver of the car, Justin had been crossing the street in front of the coffee shop when an elderly driver turned the corner and struck him. Based on her statement, by the time she saw him, it was too late to stop, but she panicked and hit the gas pedal instead of the brake and ran him down at about thirty miles per hour. Also according to witnesses, Justin was thrown about ten feet in the air, landed on the roof, and rolled down onto the trunk and into the street, where his head struck the pavement. Sergeant White wished Justin well and excused himself, leaving behind a copy of the police report and saying it was completely up to Justin if he wanted to press charges or consider a civil lawsuit.
Hawk looked at the clock again. Twenty more minutes. He stretched out again, folded his arms over his chest and closed his eyes. Shortly after Garner had left with Hank and Thompson, he’d made the difficult call to Justin’s parents, and the conversation had gone as well as could be expected. Naturally, they were very alarmed and wanted to get on a plane immediately, but Hawk had convinced them that Justin’s condition was stable and improving by the hour. If all went well, he would probably be able to go home soon, and he would need them more when he got home than he would while he was in NICU. He promised to update them with each visit, and they seemed satisfied and content to wait at least until tomorrow before making a final decision.
The double doors opened, signaling the next round of visiting hours. Hawk was heading in that direction when he saw Garner stepping off the elevator with a backpack slung over his shoulder and what looked like a Wendy’s hamburger bag.
He waved him over.
“How’s the patient?” Garner asked.
“I think he’s doing better,” Hawk replied. “I could have sworn he squeezed my hand during my last visit, but it could have just been my imagination. I’m just about to go in to see him now.”
“Do you mind if I join you?” Garner asked.
“Of course not,” Hawk said. “Let’s go.”
Garner put the backpack and food down next to Hawk’s chair, and they started walking. “There’s food back there when we get done.”
“Thanks,” Hawk said. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, the nurse confirmed during my last visit they have him scheduled for another MRI in—” Hawk looked down at his watch. “—about an hour from now. I feel like this one will be the deciding factor in his condition.”
“How so?” Garner asked.
“If the previous swelling has gone down,” Hawk explained, “I think we’re home free, but if the swelling is worse, they’ll probably have to do one of the procedures the doctor mentioned, and things could get more complicated.”
“I’ve got my fingers crossed,” Garner said.
The two men walked the rest of the way in silence. Hawk felt that familiar ache in his heart and still didn’t know if it was Justin or Garner causing it. That little voice popped into his head again. You can always ask him to stay.
“No, I can’t!” he said.
“Can’t what?” Garner asked.
Embarrassed by his outburst, Hawk simply said, “Oh, nothing. I was just thinking out loud.”
The two men spent the next thirty minutes with Justin, one on each side of his bed. Hawk could have sworn Justin looked even better than he had the last visit and was convinced things were looking up. Both of them spoke to him, reassured him he was going to be fine and that he wasn’t alone. Hawk told him quietly that he’d spoken to his parents, and they were concerned but fine and would be here as soon as he needed them. While they were still there, the transport came to get Justin for his next MRI.
Hawk panicked for a second. “It’s not time,” he told the nurse. “Is something wrong?”
“No, honey,” the nurse replied, taking his hand. “They’re just ready for him a little earlier than expected. It’s all okay.”
Relieved, Hawk turned to Justin and took his hand. “You’re going for your next MRI now,” Hawk told him. “We won’t be far and we’ll see you at the next scheduled visiting time.”
Hawk watched them roll Justin’s bed out into the hall and stepped out of the room and watched until he couldn’t see him anymore.
He felt Garner’s breath on the back of his neck and wondered how much longer he’d get to enjoy that familiar feeling.
You can still ask him to stay!
AN HOUR later Dr. Bridges came out and found them in the waiting room. “I have good news, gentlemen. I just conferred with the radiologist regarding the latest MRI, and the anti-inflammatory medication seems to be doing its job. The brain is no longer swelling, and the existing swelling is diminishing.”
Hawk involuntarily found Garner’s hand again and squeezed. He took a deep breath and looked up to the ceiling. “Thank you, Doctor.”
“My pleasure,” Dr. Bridges said. “This is the kind of news I love to share.”
“So what next?” Hawk asked.
“I’m going to slowly start reducing the medication that’s keeping him in the induced coma and see how he responds. If all goes well, he should be totally conscious by tomorrow morning. We’ll do some tests to see if there is any further brain damage, but right now all indications look good.”
“Yes!” Hawk said, sporting a
huge smile. He shook the doctor’s hand, pumping it a few extra times before he let the man get back to work, then threw his arms around Garner’s neck. “It looks like he’s going to be okay.”
He released his hold on Garner when the realization of what he was saying sank in. Justin is going to be okay, which means Garner will be leaving. He felt a stabbing pain in his heart and finally knew the feeling had nothing to do with Justin. “I guess now that Justin’s going to be okay, you’ll be leaving soon, huh?”
“Probably,” Garner replied. “I checked the forecast on my phone a little while ago, and it looks like tomorrow is the best opportunity for the three-day weather window I’ll need to make the trip, so I’ll probably head out at first light.”
Hawk smiled weakly. You can still ask him to stay, the little annoying voice kept saying. But Hawk did his best to ignore it. “What’s it, about two hundred fifty miles to Andros?” he asked.
“Two hundred and eighty or so,” Garner replied.
“How long will that take you?”
“Depends on the wind and currents,” Garner said. “If I have to motor the entire way, it could take as long as forty-eight hours. If I can sail and have the currents in my favor, I can make it in as little as thirty hours.”
“I guess you’ll need to provision the boat before you leave. Right?”
“Yeah, I’ll do that tonight.”
Hawk nodded. You can still ask him to stay, the little voice reminded him once more.
GARNER AND Hawk were sitting silently in the same spot they’d occupied most of the day. It was right at four o’clock when Garner looked at his watch. “What time are you heading over to Aqua to meet Jeremy?”
“I have a cab picking me up in thirty minutes,” Hawk said. “Why?”
“No reason. I was just curious.”
“It’s a fifteen-minute ride over, so that should give me plenty of time,” Hawk explained.
“Have you decided what you’re gonna say?”
Hawk shook his head. “Not really. Who knows if he’ll show up, or even look like his picture, for that matter. But if he does show up, before I say anything, I need to make sure he’s legit.”
Garner looked at Hawk. “How are you going to do that?”
“By watching him closely, for starters,” Hawk said. “I plan on sitting in the corner and observing the guy, just to see how he acts.”
“And then what?” Garner asked.
“If it was me in his situation, I would sit fairly close to the door and keep an eye on it. When five o’clock comes and goes with no Justin—or Ben, as he calls him—I would start to get a little nervous. When five thirty comes with no sign of my date, I think I would start drinking heavily, but hang around just in case. After a couple of hours, I think I would give up and get out of there.”
“I see you’ve given this some thought,” Garner said.
“There’s little else to do while I sit here and wait for my next opportunity to see Justin,” Hawk said. “I think my biggest challenge is going to be to catch Jeremy between the time he realizes that Ben isn’t coming and before he starts drinking heavily. That will be key.”
“Because if he’s too wasted, he won’t be able to comprehend what Justin has done and why,” Garner surmised.
“Bingo.”
Hawk look at his watch and down at the backpack. “I’m gonna change my clothes, wash my face, and brush my teeth before I go.”
“Oh yeah, right,” Garner said, picking up the backpack and handing it to Hawk. “Everything’s in there.”
“Thanks.”
Hawk disappeared into the men’s room, and Garner was left alone to ponder his situation. His rational brain was having an internal battle with his emotional brain about leaving Hawk, but luckily his rational brain was winning.
Besides, even if you wanted to, Hawk hasn’t asked you to stay. He made it perfectly clear from the start that he wanted no attachments. It’s better this way.
A few minutes later, Hawk came out of the men’s room carrying the backpack. “Thanks again, I feel much better,” he said, offering it to Garner.
“No problem,” Garner said, taking the backpack and dropping it at his feet.
“Look. I’ve been thinking,” Hawk said. “I haven’t asked you to do this, but promise me you won’t leave.”
Garner couldn’t believe his ears. He sat up a little straighter in his chair and looked up at Hawk.
“At least until I get back,” Hawk said. “I’d hate for anything to happen and neither one of us be here. I’ll stop by the desk and give the hospital permission to talk to you if anything happens.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s a good idea,” Garner said, easing back down in his chair. “Don’t worry about Justin. I won’t leave him alone.”
“Thanks,” Hawk said through a weak smile. “I better head downstairs before someone nabs my cab.”
Garner stood. “Good luck,” he said.
The two men simply stared at one another, neither wanting to make the next move. “I hate this awkwardness between us,” Garner said.
“Me too,” Hawk agreed. “It’s amazing how things can change so quickly.”
Fuck it! Garner opened his arms and Hawk immediately stepped into them.
They embraced and Garner heard what he thought was a small whimper. He heard Hawk clear his throat. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he said, stepping back and turning without looking back.
Garner stood frozen in place and watched Hawk walk away. He had so many things he wanted to say, but he couldn’t find the right words.
He said nothing.
HAWK PAID the driver and slid out of the cab. He looked down at his watch. Four fifty-five. With road construction and rush hour traffic in full swing, the trip had taken him longer than he’d estimated. He stood in front of Aqua, his heart pounding, hoping he was doing the right thing. He had to know, for Justin’s sake, if this guy was okay. For all he knew, the guy could be some kind of gay basher, stringing Justin, and who knows how many other guys, along while at the same time waiting for a chance to strike. He took a deep breath and walked in.
Hawk saw heads turn and felt eyes on him when he stepped through the door. And although he tried to focus, his eyes were still adjusting to the dimly lit room, and he couldn’t see a damned thing. He walked to the far end of the bar, ordered a beer, paid the bartender, and moved to a back corner, where he could have a full view of the club, and took a seat. Within minutes his vision was back, and he spotted the handsome guy in a blue uniform whose picture he’d seen on Justin’s phone sitting at the bar, very close to the door, just as he would have done.
He smiled. So far, so good. He leaned back and sipped his beer while he waited to see what was coming next.
As Hawk had expected, each time a patron would walk through the front door, Jeremy’s head would spin around. When he didn’t recognize the patron, he would turn back around and stare at his drink. As time passed and each patron wasn’t Justin, Jeremy seemed to get more and more disappointed.
While Hawk observed Jeremy, his mind wandered back to the cat and mouse game he’d played with Garner in this very bar, and he smiled. But Hawk’s smile turned to overwhelming sadness when the playful memory was replaced with the reality that Garner was leaving tomorrow.
He shook the thoughts from his mind. Not now, Hawk. You’ve got a job to do.
It was nearing six o’clock, and Jeremy was now slouched over his third drink, looking grim and defeated.
Now’s the time to make your move!
Hawk stood, walked over to the bar, and took the empty seat next to Jeremy. He ordered another beer, took a sip, and put it down on the cocktail napkin in front of him. He looked at Jeremy, who was staring down at his drink and continually stirring it with a cocktail straw. Round and round.
Jeremy must have sensed Hawk’s gaze because he turned and gave him an odd look. Hawk nodded, but Jeremy didn’t respond. He just turned back and started stirring his drink again.
“I’m waiting for someone,” Jeremy said without looking up.
“I know,” Hawk said. “You’re waiting for Ben, right?”
Jeremy sat straight up on his stool. “How did you know that?”
“Ben is a friend of mine,” Hawk said.
“Where is he?” Jeremy asked with concern in his voice. “Is he okay?”
“He’s gonna be,” Hawk said.
“Oh good—wait, what?” Jeremy stammered. “What do you mean he’s gonna be?”
“He was in an accident this morning, and he’s in the hospital,” Hawk explained.
“What hospital?” Jeremy asked. “I’ve got to go to him.”
“I’ll take you to him in a little while,” Hawk promised. “But you and I have to have a talk first.”
“No!” Jeremy said. “I want to go now. If you don’t take me to him, I’ll just go to every hospital in Key West until I find him.”
“You can try, but you won’t find him,” Hawk assured him.
“Why not?”
“Because his name’s not Ben.”
GARNER WAS sitting at Justin’s bedside, resting his forehead on their joined hands as the tears streamed down his face. He found the oddest comfort in talking to someone who he thought was listening, but who couldn’t respond, and he babbled incoherently about everything going through his mind.
Garner stopped talking when he heard something that he could have sworn sounded like, “Don’t go,” in a weak, almost inaudible voice. He looked up. Justin’s eyes were still closed, but his head was moving back and forth like he was in some sort of distress, and his eyeballs were moving under his eyelids.
“It’s okay, Justin,” Garner said in a soft voice. “It’s Garner, and I’m right here. You’re going to be all right.”
Garner knew from experience that Justin was slowly coming out of the induced coma and would be disoriented for a while. He continued to talk to him in a soft, steady voice, and within a few minutes, Justin’s head slowly stopped moving and he seemed to be settling down again.
