Innocence Lost

by Bradley Stoke

  This was disappointing enough for Dodie, but even more upsetting for her was the mail which she received. Much of the mail was complimentary. It expressed delight in the high standard of presentation, the depth and maturity of the text, and the artistic quality in the illustrations. Many letters began with the words ‘I do not normally buy pornographic magazines, but …’ or ‘It was a pleasure to find amongst the usually sordid pornographic press, a publication which …’ or ‘I have never before felt the need to write a letter of compliment to a pornographic magazine…’ These letters clearly came from an audience in tune with Dodie’s æsthetic tastes and artistic ambitions.

  However, the majority of letters Innocence and Dodie received were far less complimentary. Many were even abusive. They complained that there wasn’t enough sex. That what sex there was did not present the scenes of anal intercourse, facial come-shots and group sex to which the readership had become accustomed. One more thoughtful critic confessed that in his opinion a photographic series without double entry penetration was simply not what he expected while masturbating. His final shakes of the wrist were over art rather than come-shots and he had produced a very disappointing volume of semen. It was clear that he, and many other readers, felt cheated that their wanking was on tame material and that no perversion was explored except indirectly.

  Dodie became very depressed. She stayed in bed almost all day, and refused to leave the flat. She obsessively read and re-read the letters she’d received and compared each letter with the copies of the magazine that littered the house. Sometimes, she would read only the abusive letters, as if she were rubbing a sore scab, and would cry softly and sadly to herself. Sometimes, she got angry and would throw the magazine violently against the wall and shout her own abuse. Sometimes, she would read just the complimentary letters and smile. She had her favourites which she would return to again and again, getting comfort from the praise they contained. She would even mouth some of the more complimentary phrases to herself as if trying to persuade herself that because they were said, they must be true.

  Distressingly for Innocence, who loved Dodie so dearly, their sex life suffered too. Dodie hardly ever initiated any lovemaking and when the two made love together it had very little passion. Innocence guessed that it was comfort that Dodie wanted, but it made her feel guilty that the passion she was getting these days was from her other friends and from those with whom she had sex on a professional basis. It did not help Innocence that preparation needed to be made for the next edition of Innocence and that it became increasingly unlikely that Dodie would be the one to edit it. It was a subject Innocence was very reluctant to discuss with Dodie.

  However, Leon, the publisher, had a business to run. The printer was eager to use the extra capacity she had made available to the publication. The distributors were eager to know when to expect delivery. And it was clear to Innocence that she had responsibilities and duties to other people than Dodie. Not least of which being her loyal fans, who were beginning to show their impatience on the many web-sites (official or otherwise) that were dedicated to her. What could she do?

  In a way she was grateful, but also devastated when it was Dodie, and not she, who resolved the issue. Innocence came home after a day’s tiring filming, her arse sore from countless penetrations, her penis red raw from penetrating arses, vaginas and mouths, and bruises along the insides of her thighs. What she was really looking forward to was a long relaxing bath in luxurious scented bath gel with soothing music to distract her mind. What she found was Dodie sitting in the living room where she’d been waiting for her, with her bags packed and dressed ready to go. This meant a tweed jacket, rubber-soled boots and the long hairs of her vagina shampooed and glistening between her bare uncovered thighs.

  Dodie looked up with a start and it was clear to Innocence that she had been weeping. When she spoke, her voice sounded slightly throttled and words came from her unsteadily and in slight gasps. “I’m leaving,” she announced. “You’ll need to find another editor for Innocence. I’m obviously not the right person for it.”

  Innocence didn’t want to announce that she already knew several people recommended by Leon who were more than eager and able to do the task and that had not really been the source of her anxiety.

  “Don’t leave,” Innocence said as firmly as she could. “Please don’t leave! I know it’s been hard on you this last month or so. But it’s you I love. Not you as an editor. But you!”

  Dodie smiled. “Is that true?” she asked. She looked as if she was wavering and she appeared to waver the more as Innocence let her dress slip down off her shoulders and drop to her ankles, revealing her bronzed female contours, her splendid breasts, and, of course, the slightly tumescent penis which so defined her. “But, Innocence, I can’t stay. I’ve thought about it for so long. And it’s not just that I’ve failed you. It’s … it’s … I need the break. Maybe I’ll come back. But I know you’ll find another lover. And … and … and I know I’ll find one too. Not perhaps one as beautiful, or as special as you. You know it. But, it has to happen. I have to leave. I think I shall work as an editor for a different kind of magazine. It may be a sex magazine, but it won’t be a fan magazine…”

  “You can do that and stay here,” pleaded Innocence.

  “No, I’ve learnt my lesson. Whatever skills I have are not as editor of Innocence. I don’t know what it will be. But I’ll find it. I love you, Innocence. I will always love you. You will always be the one most true love of my life. But to spend the rest of our lives together. That wasn’t to be.”

  She stood up and walked slowly towards Innocence, tears streaming down her cheeks. She kissed Innocence on the mouth. She kissed Innocence on the breasts. And then she lowered herself to her knees, and kissed Innocence on the penis which stirred significantly from the tender touch of her lips.

  Then without a word, she picked up her bags, and walked out of the front door, the cheeks of her arse and a few stray hairs from her crotch on display. She turned around and blew her erstwhile lover a kiss on the air and then departed. The door slammed abruptly behind her and her key rested forlorn on the table by the door.

  It seemed to Innocence that the kiss hovered in the air for several minutes as she stood helpless, stunned and paralysed by emotion. She looked around the flat which now seemed empty and barren without Dodie. On an impulse, she got dressed and rushed out to catch Dodie in the hope of persuading her to stay. But it was too late. There was no sign of Dodie in the street and no clue as to where she had gone. The only comfort left to Innocence now was the long awaited bath and the warmth of her own tears.

  XXXVI

  In Which the virtues of Innocence are spread throughout the world and are prominent in Congress; Innocence and Virtue are conjoined, old friends are reunited and Chastity is resolved to the service of Innocence.

  Innocence found that her fame brought with it not only the material rewards which meant she was able to exchange her Congress flat for a country mansion; but also the cost of selling her virtues through the media. In actual fact, it was a cost Innocence found that she rather enjoyed. She became accustomed to interviews for publications such as Cavalier and Silver Shadow, but also to more mainstream publications where although sex might be mentioned it was not their main raison d’être. Everyone was fascinated by a girl like her who possessed both feminine beauty and masculine assets.

  There were also the interviews on Television and on the Internet. Some of these focused primarily on the exotic and pornographic, but some were designed for a more general audience. It was a pleasure to be interviewed and not have sex with the interviewers or, even, to display the asset for which she was most famous. The interviews took place in the studios and sets of the movies in which she starred, or in the studio of the television program interviewing her. In one memorable instance, the interview took place in the grounds of her newly purchased mansion where she could show off the many rooms she owned and the spacious gardens that surrounded it. She sa
t in the pagoda by the river that flowed through her garden, near the small forest that came with the land and by the statue-lined pathway that led to her front door. It was a delight to show off her new-found wealth, and the luxury of having servants to tend to all those chores she used to hate and usually neglected.

  The pinnacle of her fame, however, was to be interviewed on the late night talk and sex show, Frances Carmen, presented by the eponymous interviewer, a privilege only extended to the truly famous. Frances was famous for her sympathetic interview style and the skill with which she cajoled sexual rewards from her interviewees. She was even more famous for her skills at the erotic arts, which daily drew a larger audience to her show than any other program of its kind. It was not as if she were the only interviewer in this genre, Michaela Parquet, Dora Evelyn Mayle and Loretta Cinders all had similar shows on which Innocence had previously appeared, but this, Innocence knew, was the climax and one which, in itself, would generate the media attention she increasingly craved and relished.

  She dressed her very best for the show, in a sexy outfit that revealed the flesh of her thighs, waist and shoulders, but discreetly hid her bosom and, of course, her penis. These would have to be revealed later. She even agreed to wear a pair of high stiletto heels which she spent many hours pacing up and down to ensure that their unfamiliarity would not result in an embarrassing fall as she tottered into the studio. She sat in the waiting area with Leon, her agent, waiting for Frances Carmen to introduce her. There had already been two other guests. There was Sooty Cunt, a black sex actress famous for her skills in deep-throating, a skill she was more than happy to display with the other guest, Chummy Chucker, a male porn star famous for the quantity of come he so easily dispensed. There were also small sketches starring Frances’ co-presenter, Hank E. Staines, which almost invariably involved at the very least nudity and, in the final sketch, a brief interlude of cunnilingus.

  And then, it was Innocence’s time to appear, which she did initially quite nervously, striding across the podium to the desk where Frances sat, cheerfully acknowledging the cheers and whoops of the studio audience. She descended onto the sofa with a broad grin over her face, waving at the most excitable members of the audience, and then turned towards Frances who directed a warm and ever so slightly sensuous smile at her.

  The interview began with the usual promotion of the films she was currently in, and then some more general questions about stars that appeared in her film. An opportunity was given for her to relate a brief anecdote about some embarrassing on-set disasters the telling of which Innocence had still not properly mastered. Nonetheless, the audience laughed appreciatively and Innocence felt she could now relax as the interview proper began.

  “You have your own magazine as well, don’t you?” asked Frances, picking up a copy of her publication. “It’s called Innocence, though there’s nothing innocent in its contents. It’s won several awards in the industry and it’s now the second biggest selling sex magazine. Only Cavalier is read by more people and even that’s a magazine you’re no stranger to.”

  “Indeed not,” smiled Innocence. “It was an honour to appear in it. And even more of an honour to have sex with the Cavalier Pet of the Year. That’s a day I won’t forget in a hurry.”

  “I can’t imagine you would,” agreed Frances, who of course herself had a similar honour. “What a girl! And she does so many good things for charity too. But returning to Innocence. That’s a magazine that’s come into its own in recent editions. I know you were very brave to experiment in one edition with more artistic concerns, but it’s now a much more mainstream magazine. Is that how you would prefer it to be?”

  “I am always led by my readership and of course my loyal fans. It’s they who have made me what I am and I owe them a duty to give them what they want. Without them, I would be nothing.”

  “Well, not nothing, Innocence dear. Not with what you have to offer the world!” There were whoops from the audience. “Of which we shall see more later!” A spontaneous applause. “You’ve now left Congress, I believe. And live in the Country. I take it you enjoy the escape from the hustle and bustle of the big city.”

  “I don’t see it as an escape, more an opportunity to be more myself. Nothing beats the feel of country air on my skin or of grass between my toes.”

  “Very poetic. Are you making more movies in the Country, then?”

  “I may. I may. I might even make films at the house I’ve just bought.”

  “Yes, we all saw that in Stars in Their Boudoirs. That must have been a joy to make. Though what do you think of Vanessa Venus? She’s some woman, isn’t she?”

  Vanessa was the woman who presented the show. She was famous not only for the range and depth of her sexual predilections, but also for the fact that she was quite a large woman: plump with enormous breasts. Innocence had genuinely enjoyed making love to a woman whose flesh, like that of Blanche, she was able to sink into. “She’s some lover, too!” Innocence agreed. “I thought her cunt was going to swallow me whole!”

  “If her breasts didn’t smother you to death first!” chuckled Frances. “But, seriously, we’ve got Vanessa on the show in a couple of weeks. That’s another woman I just can’t wait to get my tongue into!” The audience joyfully whooped in anticipation. “But, you’ve been associated with other famous people of some notoriety, like Honore L’Oeuf, the child sex writer. Has it ever troubled you that she’s gained so much bad press?”

  Innocence blanched. But she’d been warned that her friendship with the authoress would come up in the interview. “I think Honore’s been much misunderstood.”

  “It doesn’t worry you that she has been blamed for child rape and advocating child-adult incest?”

  “Honore writes for children. Not for adults. I don’t think she can be considered responsible for the unpleasant behaviour of some adults. I think she’s as shocked as anyone by all this adverse media attention.”

  “Well, we’ll find out. She’ll be a guest of mine next week, and we’ll see what she has to say. Now, you are famous for the variety of films you’ve been in. Is there any aspect of this of which you are especially proud?”

  Innocence hesitated. She wasn’t at all sure she was at all proud of the anal intercourse, coprophilia, child sex or multiple partner sex she was so often filmed enjoying. Was there anything at all she was proud of? She couldn’t very well claim to be proud to have performed in some of Honore’s films.

  Frances could see that Innocence wasn’t sure what to say, so she prompted her with a smile. “Many of your films feature men and women of what could be indelicately known as being of ethnic origin. Do you see your films as promoting love between the races?”

  Innocence reflected on her passionate love affairs with Kedi and Purity. “I can’t claim to have made much of a contribution towards the causes of racial equality or black rights, but it’s undoubtedly true that I have loved people of different racial origins as much, if not sometimes more, than those of the same race as myself. I only wish I could do more to further the causes of understanding and racial tolerance in our society. It’s undeniable that much more needs to be done.”

  Frances could see that the interview was straying away from the light and frivolous subjects for which most people watched her show. “You are also famous for furthering tolerance of sexual minorities. Not just gays, transsexuals and hermaphrodites, but also people of some very bizarre sexual tastes.”

  “Well, I’ve been in a few piss films, but to be honest they’re not really my favourites. I don’t deny people their need to express their love by urination or bestiality or whatever, but it’s not what I most enjoy doing and not what I do in my own private sex-life.”

  “Do you draw any line as to what kind of sex you wouldn’t like to advocate? Or is there anything you just wouldn’t condone?”

  “Anything, whether accidental or deliberate, that involves coercion is wrong,” Innocence mused. She felt slightly guilty though. She knew that her priva
te life had not been wholly innocent of sexual predation and she was reluctant for the conversation to turn to some of her films. She could argue that people often agreed to appear in films to do things they didn’t really enjoy just to make money, but the Frances Carmen Show wasn’t really the place to present such arguments.

  “And prostitution? Do you think that’s a good thing to promote?”

  “It’s a career,” answered Innocence diplomatically, “which if you enter willingly is surely no worse than what either you or I do, Frances.”

  It was time for Frances to blanche, but she recovered so quickly that Innocence wasn’t sure that the camera would even have noticed her brief lapse. “But you so clearly enjoy making films. I’ve rarely seen a sex star enjoy herself so much.”

  “When it’s good, it’s very very good.”

  “And what do you do when you’re not performing? Do you go to night clubs and hang out with the glitterati, if you don’t mind the obvious pun?”

  “Not especially. I’m a very private person really. I make films. I enjoy making them and I’m very lucky in having an agent, Leon, who represents me well. He ensures that what I have, I use to its best advantage.”

  “And let’s see what that is!” announced Frances, standing up and making her way towards Innocence. She revealed herself as wearing nothing from below the silk blouse she wore and approached Innocence with obvious intent.

  This obviously marked the second half of the interview, where Innocence was ceremoniously disrobed to the obvious delight of the audience: who whooped and cheered as Frances persuaded Innocence to full and urgent erection. Within minutes, Innocence and Frances were both fully unclothed, except for the stilettos and bracelets and sensuously made love together on live television. Innocence smiled at the audience in paroxysms of delight at their evident appreciation and the appreciation she was sure was shared by the television audience at home. Her penis was soon inside Frances’ well-trimmed cunt and she thrust in and out in unfeigned passion imagining herself sharing a vagina enjoyed by so many of the rich and famous. When she came, which she did expertly and with perfect timing and rhythm, she could barely believe she was able to produce so much sperm. Globules of it soared through the air, onto Frances’ breasts and onto the studio sofa, while the audience cheered and applauded, amazed to see in real life such an unusual, if not unique, display of tele-ejaculation.