Maxen (Kinky Shine Book 2)

by Stephanie Witter

  She brought a hand to my thigh, and I reflexively flexed my muscle when I felt her touch through the denim. “We went over this already. It’s not your damn fault. Being a martyr doesn’t suit you, so just quit it.’’

  “She’s right, man,’’ Dex added. “We all know our shit is going to come out at one point. We’ve been damn lucky it’s taken so long.’’

  I watched Dex turn a ghostly white and crossed his arms in that same move he’s always had when he’s being defensive. He didn’t want the whole mess with his junkie mother to come out and I get it. I wouldn’t want the world to know that my mother was a junkie and whored herself out to get enough money to keep doing drugs and had her own son beat more than once when she owed money. My parents weren’t much better, and I knew my mother was going to pump me for more money soon, but I didn’t give a fuck if it came out. As for my drug addiction… that’s another story. In the band, we all had stuff we wanted to be kept hidden from the world.

  “Yeah, but Lark, I’m serious here. If you want out of your job, I’ll make sure to help you however long you want. It’s the least I can do.’’ I put my hand over hers still on my thigh and ran my thumb over her knuckles. This touching shit was nice. I’ve never thought that having meaningless sex would make me miss out on something. Then again, these other women weren’t Lark. I’ve never wanted to take care of a woman before her, and now that I’ve had her last night, that feeling was tenfold.

  “I won’t let you pay for me, Maxen.’’ She pulled her hand away, and I let her go, but it was fucking hard not to tighten my grip on her and force her to stay there, to keep her touch on me.

  “Don’t give me some independence bullshit excuse now.’’ I waved at the tall windows of the suite. “We’re fucking locked in here because of who I am. If I can’t use my money to help you get back on your feet, I don’t see why I’m making a shit ton if it’s only to sit in my damn bank account.’’

  “Don’t, please.’’

  “But—’’ I pressed on and she held up her hand, silencing me immediately.

  “Before we start arguing about this, let me see how it goes tomorrow at work. Anyway, how long are you guys staying in New York?’’

  “We were supposed to go back to LA tomorrow, but I don’t know what Floyd has in store for us,’’ Dex answered, his eyes on his phone. He’s probably checking Twitter. He wouldn’t admit it, but I was sure that the fucker had an addiction to the damn thing since Harley got us all on it a few months ago.

  Knocking at the door interrupted us, and I jumped to my feet. “Speaking of.’’ I opened the door and came face to face with Floyd, Harley and behind them Otis and Beckett talking in hushed voices until they looked up at me. Otis was frowning, and Beckett was more stone cold than his usual. Floyd and Harley had a matching frown on their faces. “No good news then, huh?’’

  I walked back to the couch and watched them all walk in. Floyd headed for the armchair facing the one Dex was sitting on. Harley went to her boyfriend and sat on the arm of the armchair, but Dex pulled her on his lap under the glower of our manager. Otis and Beckett grabbed chairs from around the dining table and brought them in front of the couch on the other side of the low table.

  “I have some bad news, Maxen,’’ Floyd began after clearing his throat and fidgeting with the strap of his laptop case set at his feet. “Your mother went to a gossip rag.’’

  I gritted my teeth and tensed all over. My blood ran cold in my veins and cold sweat appeared above my eyebrows. I knew it would be coming and I was sure she’s negotiated a nice price for her interview but as naïve as it sounded, I haven’t been expecting her to run her mouth so soon. “What did she say?’’

  I looked at Floyd, waiting. I knew this man and how he’s trying like hell to protect us, but he couldn’t protect us from our own family and past. I watched the wrinkles around his eyes deepening and his eyes turning hard.

  “She said that it’s no surprise you’re married, that you’ve always been after girls, that you’re uncontrollable and as wild as they come. That you’re irresponsible and she feels sorry for your wife.’’

  I nodded and broke eye contact. I looked down at my hands clasping my thighs tightly. Fuck, it hurt. That shit never stopped hurting.

  ***

  LARK

  Watching Maxen retreating into himself with a pained look on his face was difficult. My heart was lodged in my throat and a foreign anger rose from the deepest part of me. Slowly, afraid he’d push me away, I brought my hand back on his leg, but this time, I was the one holding his hand and caressing it. He didn’t move, didn’t look up. But he closed his eyes and his breathing hitched.

  “Can’t you do something to shut her up?’’ I asked the band’s manager, my voice a bit choked up.

  “I don’t—’’

  “She’ll stop if I offer her money,’’ Maxen said, cutting David Floyd short. His eyes were open again, but they’re still trained on his hands firmly holding onto his thick thighs. And I was still tracing soothing patterns on the back of one with my thumb, trailing over the thick veins bulging. “It’s only money that interests her. That, and men to fuck and let them mooch off of her.’’ His words weren’t angry like I expected them to be. No, his voice was flat as if he was completely detached to what was happening. It scared me and my heart squeezed tighter in my chest. It’s unbelievable that I ever thought he cared about nothing before. If anything, he felt a lot, and probably took things too much at heart sometimes.

  “You’re not going to give shit to that bitch!’’ Dex butted in with force, his hard voice startling me.

  “Dex,’’ Harley said in a calm voice, kissing his cheek covered with dark stubble.

  “You don’t know how she is, Harley,’’ he pressed on and sought out Otis and Beckett with his eyes. I looked at them too, and they nodded their assent. Dex stared back at Maxen who was still not moving. “Fucker, don’t play into her game. The journalists won’t be interested in her for long anyway. She said her piece, and she can crawl back under that fucking rock she came out from. You’ve done more than enough.’’

  “You’ve done too much,’’ Otis added with a grave voice I haven’t heard him use often.

  “We have your back, Maxen,’’ Beckett said. “Don’t contact her.’’

  At that, Maxen looked up and glared at his friends and pushed away my hand gently as he stood up. His muscles were coiled, and his jaw was locked tight. His green eyes turned a forest green as his anger finally broke through the haze of pain. “She’s my damn mother! What do you think I’m going to fucking do?’’ And with that, he stalked out of the suite, and nobody tried to stop him.

  I watched the door close after him, and I had to lean back on the couch to keep myself from launching after him.

  “You should go with him,’’ Dex said right then, a beat after the door closed.

  “Don’t you think he should be alone for a bit?’’ I asked, unsure and yet buzzing with the need to run after my husband.

  “With his mother fucking with his head like that? He better not be alone.’’

  They all silently agreed, so I jumped to my feet and ran to the door, snatching my purse from the coffee table on my way.

  I had no idea what I was going to say to make it better, but when I saw Maxen in the hall ready to walk into the empty elevator, I didn’t dwell on it. I ran to him, and as soon as I reached him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and tilted my head back in a silent invitation.

  He locked eyes with me for a brief moment, long enough for me to see the glassy shine in them. And he lowered his head toward me until our mouths touched in the lightest of kisses.

  MAXEN

  I was sitting in a booth in the far corner of the hotel bar with Lark tucked against me. My left arm was around her, anchoring her against me. Her warmth was like a fucking balm on a bad burn. She was calming me, but the pulsing pain was still there, lingering.

  On the table in front of us sat our drink order, a tall
San Pellegrino bottle and glasses, untouched. The only words we’ve said since we left the suite had been to place our order. Uttering those words had been hard enough, so talking… I didn’t think I could do that right now.

  With the hand not touching Lark, I passed it over my cheek covered by my blonde beard. It’s long enough now that it’s not prickling the pulp of my fingers anymore.

  She moved her hand up and down on my thigh. If I wasn’t so far stuck in my head, I’d get hard in a heartbeat, but right now it’s only helping me stay in the here and now and not get lost in the past. Memories were flashing in my head in a thick fog, but they weren’t neat enough that they drowned me. I supposed it was a good thing. I could manage.

  “Since I’ve stopped snorting coke it’s the first time I’ve ever wanted it this bad,’’ I whispered and closed my eyes at my own weakness. I waited for her reproach, but it didn’t come.

  “I’m glad you’re here with me instead,’’ she said quietly and kissed my shoulder over my shirt.

  I looked down at her and nodded. “Yeah, me too.’’ I leaned down and placed a quick kiss on top of her head before I looked back at the water in front of me. I’d fucking love it if it was alcohol instead, but after rehab, it’d be sure to bring me down the wrong path. I wasn’t strong enough yet. “I didn’t think it was possible to hate and love someone at the same time. Every time my mother comes back in my life, I’m reminded it’s possible and so fucking easy.’’

  “Does she live around here?’’

  “Yeah. I got her an apartment in Battery Park City three years ago. I’m depositing money into her account every month to help her with bills too.’’ I took a small sip from the glass and put it back on the table. I could barely taste the sparkling water. The only parts of me not numb were the ones in direct contact with Lark.

  “And you give her more money whenever she contacts you. It’s too much, Maxen,’’ she said softly, and I knew she was trying to be nice and help here, but it wasn’t helping.

  I wrapped my fingers around the cold glass of the water bottle and watched my knuckles turning white. “You don’t know what it’s like.’’

  “You’re right, I don’t.’’ She pressed herself tighter against me and I ran my fingers along her side over her purple top. “My parents are happily married, they’ve always treated me like I’m their world. I’ve never doubted their love for me, and I’ve never been missing on anything when it came to them. But I know that you went through a lot with your parents. You didn’t tell me much of anything, but when I look at your face, and I see that haunted look when you’re usually smiling even when you don’t feel like it, I know your family can’t be worth it. She’s not your responsibility, Maxen. Don’t let her use you like this.’’

  “I will never be able to ignore her, Lark. She’s my mom.’’ My voice broke on the last word, and I wanted to hide, but Lark wouldn’t let me.

  She forced me to turn toward her with her hand on my cheek, and I was ready to break down in the hotel bar with the woman I’d married on a whim in fucking Vegas years ago.

  “Your parents gave up on their role, their duty to you. Your family is made of the guys in your band. Your mother isn’t there for you, she’s not comforting you, not showing you how much she loves you. She’s your mom in name and DNA only.’’ She ran a finger on my lower lip. “What’s your father saying about all of this?’’

  I scoffed but made sure I didn’t dislodge her hand from my face. Her touch was slowly driving away the darkness crowding me. “I haven’t been in touch with my father in years. I’ve heard through some people that he has his act together and he has a job in some factory or another. I called him once, left a message with my number, but he never called back. He’s moved on, I suppose.’’

  She snaked her hand from my cheek to behind my head through my hair that was getting too long. I felt her fingers playing with some strands. It sent shivers down my spine. “I’m sorry you had and still have to go through all of this.’’

  “There’s nothing to be sorry about, Lark. It’s life. We don’t get to pick who’s our family, but I get to build my life, a life I don’t have to feel like I need to hang my head in shame. I’m not the best man out there. I’ve been fucking women I don’t give a shit about, I’ve been into drugs for months, and I can be an ass, but I will never do the same mistakes as my parents.’’

  “You won’t be doing the same mistakes.’’

  “How do you know?’’

  She leaned closer until her lips ghosted over mine. Her eyes were so luminous up close, so earnest too. “Because you’re the best, the most honest and loyal man I’ve ever met. You’re one of a kind, Maxen, and I mean that as a compliment. I’m sorry it took me so long to see it.’’

  My hand on her side tightened on her. The hand that had been holding the water bottle went to her face. I traced her cheekbone and gripped the back of her neck. She shivered, and I felt it to my fucking groin. My cock stirred and started to harden. She was pushing away everything from my mind and the pull to call my local drug dealer wasn’t so strong anymore. Something else was strong, though. I needed to kiss her and pour out everything I felt in her until she was folding into me.

  “Go ahead, Maxen. Kiss me.’’ Her lips touched mine when she said these words under her breath.

  My hand behind her neck tightened more, and I was sure my touch was bordering on painful, but she didn’t say anything. She arched up into me, and her breasts pushed into my chest. I swallowed thickly and let my eyes fall to her dark pink lips slightly parted as if waiting for me to slip my tongue into her mouth.

  “We’re in a bar,’’ I growled low for only her to hear. She shivered again, and I watched her pupils dilating, eating more and more blue to turn her eyes a molten dark. “Anyone can see us.’’

  “I don’t care. We are married. Just kiss me,’’ she said again, and when her hooded eyes fell on my mouth, I couldn’t resist.

  I brought my mouth to hers and immediately sought her tongue with mine. When they met everything else disappeared. There was only her and me in my mind.

  I pressed harder against her mouth until she quietly moaned. I nibbled on her lower lip before I deepened the kiss once more, trying to tell her everything I felt, all those crazy things I’ve always felt whenever I’m around her. I didn’t know if she felt them, I didn’t know what there was other than desire on her part, but I was completely consumed by her, and I didn’t give a fuck. She could burn me, eat me, and spew me out later if she wanted to. All that was important at that moment was that she was here with me and she let me kiss her again.

  Her fingers dug into my shoulders, and I growled in her mouth, tangling my fingers in her soft long hair to tilt her head up until I was dominating her in this booth, away from prying eyes in the far corner of the bar. She wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled me into her tighter until our teeth clashed. Fuck, this kiss… this kiss was hard, was out of control and so deep I felt it everywhere.

  I pulled back and took a deep breath. The bar around us swirled. I was panting as if I’d just fucked Lark in the booth. My skin was sweaty on my forehead and my back at the base of my spine. And my cock… it was too fucking hard to be comfortable in my jeans and sitting.

  “I want you, Lark,’’ I said quietly between loud intakes of air.

  With her eyelids low on her eyes, the glassy look in them, her lips red and swollen and the color in her cheeks, she looked ready to be taken. I had to remind myself we weren’t alone here and that the staff working in the bar was probably eyeing her and getting quite the spectacle to refrain from laying her down the booth and having my way with her.

  “They’re probably still in your suite.’’

  “Fuck.’’ I rubbed at my forehead and pulled away until I wasn’t touching her anymore. It’s that or I was going to make a live porn show for the few clients here and the staff.

  Not touching her was hard. I’ve never felt so addicted before in my life. Even with the hi
gh I had been seeking with coke hadn’t been as addicting as this woman was. That should be sobering for a man recovering from an addiction, but it wasn’t. If anything, it’s more thrilling, and I’ve always loved me some thrill.

  “Tonight?’’ she asked shyly, and I couldn’t help but smile at her. That brought more color to her face. Shit, I didn’t think I’ve ever seen her shy around me before. Not like this.

  “Tonight is too many hours away.’’ I looked around the bar and frowned. “Maybe I could book us a small room right now. They probably have something still available.’’

  “That’s ridiculous,’’ she said, and I noticed her breathing was back to normal. I wanted to hear the soft pants she made, that quiet sound when she’s turned on but not fully moaning in my mouth. That’s too fucking hot to go without it when I was hard as a rock. “We’re not horny teenagers. We can wait.’’

  “I may not be a teenager, but I’m fucking horny for you, Lark. I don’t give a damn if I have to get the band, Harley, and Floyd out of the room so we can have fun, actual fun. You’d be the one embarrassed, not me.’’

  “You can’t do this!’’ She grabbed my forearm as if I was about to break in a dead run up to my room to do just that.

  “Then let me find a room,’’ I cajoled, running a hand along her arm. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to feel my cock in your tight pussy, babe.’’

  The blush tainted her cheeks a deeper red, and I couldn’t help the grin from spreading on my face. I knew I was an ass for loving to fluster this woman, but it’s something I’ve always gotten a kick out of and now that she wasn’t out for blood where I was concerned it’s the best.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but we need to talk, Maxen,’’ Floyd said, coming from out of fucking nowhere.

  I blinked at my manager trying to understand what the hell he was doing here when everything came back crashing down on me. I lost my grin instantly and my shoulders slouched.