Maxen (Kinky Shine Book 2)

by Stephanie Witter

  Finally, my phone buzzed on the low table and Maxen’s name appeared on the screen, and my stomach stumbled. I grabbed it and answered the call way too quickly to be smooth. “Yes?’’

  “Hey, it’s me,’’ his voice rumbled, and my nipples tightened immediately.

  “How was your flight?’’

  “Boring. Dex and Harley kept on kissing, Floyd glared at them while he was trying to tell me some shit about what to expect in the next few days, Otis had a hangover from the hotel bar drinks he had. You know how much he hates flying. And Beckett was in his own bubble listening to his iPod. See? Boring.’’ He yawned, and I heard him moving around, probably getting more comfortable on his big couch. “How was your day?’’

  “Even more boring. I’m still at the hotel. I’d rather not risk going out today. Tomorrow morning should be enough of an expedition as it is.’’

  “It should be better, though. Floyd told me he got the word out that we’re back in LA and let it out that you’d probably have followed. There shouldn’t be too many issues tomorrow when you go to work, but it won’t last more than a few hours, maybe a full day if we’re lucky.’’

  “It’s better than nothing.’’ I drew my legs closer to my chest and leaned my head against the back of the couch. “It’s weird being here alone.’’

  “Fuck, don’t tell me that. I already want to take the first flight back to you,’’ he said hoarsely, and my breath hitched. Just like that, his voice went from hot but chatty to dripping sex.

  “Maybe I should have listened to you and gone with you.’’

  I cursed myself at my words. I shouldn’t have said that. That’s what had been circling in my mind the last few hours, but it wasn’t a reason to blurt it out like that. I didn't know yet what it truly meant. Actually, I knew what it meant, but I couldn't wrap my mind around the implications, and I wasn't ready to get myself out there yet. It’s way too soon.

  “It’s not too late, babe. Say the word and in five minutes you have a flight booked,’’ he retorted without missing a beat, his voice intense. “Say the word,’’ he repeated, enticing me, hypnotizing me and I opened my mouth but snapped it shut.

  I had my work, I had to put my life in order, not chase after a worldwide known rock star just because my heart was pitter-pattering and my body craved his in a desperate way.

  “Um… I have to finalize a project for a client. I should get back to it. I’ll call you later, okay?’’

  “Avoidance isn’t the solution, but I’ll let you go for now. I’m beat anyway. I think I’m going to crash a bit before I meet up with Dex and Harley for dinner. I miss you, Lark.’’

  He hung up quickly and I knew I’ve hurt or disappointed him, but I wasn’t like Maxen. I didn’t face these kinds of things easily.

  I didn’t know what was going on between us and I wasn’t one who easily let herself go with the flow. I was a planner. I’ve almost always been a planner. The only thing I hadn’t planned had been my marriage, which was kind of ironic when you knew how some women went all bridezilla when the time came for them to organize their big day.

  I lowered the phone to my thigh. In that very moment, I really wanted to dial his number and tell him what I was feeling, how messy it all was, but I was so scared. I didn’t think I’ve ever been more scared in my life.

  Emotions, relationships, and new beginnings could be so frightening that saying nothing and waiting, presented the only safe alternative.

  Maxen wasn’t like any man I had ever been with, and his life was a whirlwind. I needed to tread carefully and protect myself if I didn’t want to ruin what had the potential to be life altering in the most surprising and wonderful way.

  LARK

  As soon as I was seated at my cubicle and I had my head held down to avoid all the curious looks from my colleagues and nasty remarks barely whispered behind my back regarding my marriage to a famous womanizing drummer, the woman at the head of Human Resources cornered me. Clara Giles was in her late forties, and while she usually was nice, her sharp gaze behind her librarian glasses didn’t bode well with me. Funny how I had thought Caleb would be my first obstacle today, but apparently, he wasn’t. I had yet to see him.

  “Miss Hardin, could you follow me to my office?’’

  I nodded weakly and stood on shaky legs as I followed her one level up, all the while feeling the weight of the dozens of stares on my back, all of them judging.

  Since I’ve started working here, first as an unpaid intern, I’ve been walking these halls with my head held high, a bright smile and determined steps. Upon looking at me now, and the last couple of weeks, you’d think I was shouldering the weight of the world.

  Mrs. Giles opened her door, walked in and pointed at one chair in front of her desk as she took place in her big corporate seat that squeaked when she put all her weight in it. She crossed her hands in front of her, her thin fingers tightly entwined. In the early morning light, her prune painted nails gleamed, and I didn’t know why, but I found it hard to look away.

  “Miss Hardin, I won’t beat around the bush here.’’ Her voice, tight and straight to the point only made my heart beat harder. “Your private life is making the headlines of many papers and not only on US soil but abroad too.’’

  I swallowed thickly and nodded, my eyes traveling to her face and finding her eyes trained on me. Even her glasses with a thick dark frame didn’t hide the disapproval in her gaze. Shit.

  “I’m aware. My private life is being displayed everywhere, and many things are blown out of proportion.’’

  She nodded and her light brown hair in a tight bun didn’t move one inch. “I’m sure, but you can understand it’s a difficult moment for the company when one employee’s life is making the headlines this way. Gossip rags aren’t things the company likes to partake in.’’

  “I don’t either, Mrs. Giles. I’ve never made or been part of any scandal in the years I’ve been working here.’’

  I frowned at the older woman who didn’t soften one bit. If anything, her thin lips painted in a light pink color got thinner still.

  “The issue remains, Miss Hardin. You’re currently seen by the public eye as the, and I quote, ‘most famous deceived wife’ and you’re associated with characters that don’t necessarily send the right image to our clients. We work in advertising, in branding. While your design for your… um… husband’s band logo is what got you a step in the company to begin with, this personal connection to the band that puts you in the public is what makes the company worry. You’re a good asset and your work has been exemplary, Ms. Hardin, but in light of the recent events, I’m afraid we’ll need to separate.’’

  I blinked and dug my nails into the arm of the chair. Her words slowly registered and with them a mixture of anger and sadness mounted inside me. “Are you firing me?’’

  She sighed and took off her glasses to rub the bridge of her nose. “You see, I think certain people around here deserve to be fired because they’re not competent in their job, but ultimately? I’m answering orders from the big boss. I don’t have as much leeway as I’d like, and I have to fold and follow what I’m told.’’

  “In other words, you don’t want to fire me, but you’ve been told I’m a liability and I should be let go.’’

  I couldn’t believe I was losing my job. I was working for one of the top companies in this field, have been able to start climbing the ladder and I was about to be out on my ass without a place to live, without a job. Panic seized me. What if I didn’t find another job? These days, I could be wandering around to find a job for months! I’d have to go back to my parents and live like a loser with them while I was trying to get back on track. And on top of that, any gossip rag could hear about this and make my failures known to the world in a few acerbic words that’d finish me off. This was so fucked up.

  “If it’s any consolation, you’ll get an advantageous severance packet and a recommendation letter.’’

  She put her glasses back on, gra
bbed an envelope near her keyboard and pushed it toward me. Like a robot, I grabbed it and dropped it on my thighs. I was numb at this point. Disconnected.

  “I’m…’’ I tried to speak, but nothing else came out of my dry mouth.

  “I’m sorry Miss Hardin.’’

  I nodded and stood up slowly. This time, I didn’t try and form a sentence. It wasn’t like there’s anything left to say or anything that’d make a difference. Before I had started to care and knew Maxen better, I’d have put everything on him from my failed relationship to my newly unemployed status, but I now saw more clearly.

  It all came back to Caleb and my poor choices. Even now, I didn’t feel the rage I would have expected. I was too numb. I couldn’t truly process the fact that the company I worked for since my college graduation fired me. I had spent so much time here over the last few years. All of that hard work for nothing. I swallowed thickly.

  I walked back to my cubicle and quickly gathered my stuff, ignoring the questions of a few colleagues I’ve considered friends but weren’t really. People you had happy hours with once in a while couldn’t be considered friends. I had been all about work for so long that I didn’t take the time to build true relationships around me. It’s barely believable that I had lost myself to my job and Caleb so much that only now I realized how superficial my life had been. It made everything more hollow as if what constituted my New York life was taken from me one by one. I was forced into a clean slate.

  Once there are no pictures of my parents left on the small desk, no postcards from different places I’ve visited, I went back to the elevator. It’s all a blur around me until Caleb walked up to me while I was waiting for the elevator car.

  I didn’t turn to face him. He didn’t deserve a single second of my attention even though his presence was impossible to ignore. His cologne, a bit too strong, reached my nostrils and for the first time, I had to fight the sudden urge to sneeze. Even smelling him had me allergic now.

  “Lark? What’s this?’’

  I frowned and gritted my teeth before I answered in a clipped voice. “What do you think? I’m fired.’’

  “Fi—What?’’ He put a hand on my shoulder, and I pulled away. The skin under my blouse crawled at his soft touch. “I didn’t—’’

  “Don’t bother, Caleb. What is done is done. It’s not a complete surprise anyway.’’ But it’s still a shock.

  “I’m sorry. Lark, please look at me,’’ he pleaded and at first, I almost did what he asked, but ultimately I soldiered on right when the elevator opened its door.

  Maybe I was a cold bitch, but I was still too raw to feel like doing anything he wanted me to. So I walked into the elevator and with my back to him and to the floor I’ve been working in a cubicle among other cubicles, I pushed the button to lead me back to the building lobby and away from this part of my life.

  Fucking Monday.

  ***

  LARK

  “Yes, Mom, I know what I’m doing,’’ I said in the phone with a clipped voice as I navigated LAX airport with my luggage. I searched above my head for the sign to direct me toward the line of cabs and finally located it.

  “No, you don’t. This morning you lost your job, Lark, and now you’re in Los Angeles when you should be here to let us help you get back on your feet.’’

  I heard the frustration in her voice. Funny how it’s only now that I seemed to give ulcers to my parents. I had been a reasonable teenager when I should have been pulling on the last thread of their patience. I was doing everything backward.

  “At hearing you say I’m throwing my life through the window.’’

  “You’re chasing a rock star.’’

  “I’m not—’’

  “Lark, don’t lie to me. Please. I’m your mother and I know you. I saw the way you looked at Maxen. I saw the sizzle between you two, but is it worth what you’re doing? You’ve been following a certain path for so long and I’m afraid you’re losing yourself. That’s all.’’

  I stopped right when I was about to reach the automatic doors. Outside, a long line of cabs were taking on clients, some were tourists while others were every bit here for business. I people watched and contemplated my next words.

  Inside, I was a real mess. I’d lie if I said I wasn’t a little lost because everything had changed dramatically for me in a very short time span, but at the same time, I was reconnecting with a part of myself I thought disappeared.

  Maybe going to Maxen was a mistake, maybe I was way over my head, but I didn’t want to have regrets. Nothing else was in New York for me other than my parents and Alan. I needed time for myself right now, and that was exactly what I would get.

  “I’ve been doing everything I thought an adult should be doing. I picked the right guy, the good job and had the right goals of building what is deemed the perfect and respectable life. But in all of that, Mom, I wasn’t always me. Alan saw it and I didn’t. I’m not that kind of woman and I honestly don’t think I want to be anymore.’’

  She sighed in the phone and a weird parasite sound rang. “You know I wasn’t fond of Caleb, but you’re making a drastic change here. Be careful, that’s all I’m saying. You know your father and I will always support you. And Maxen isn’t so bad. He’s even more handsome in real life.’’

  I laughed into the phone, my heart swelling. “He’s not bad at all. I don’t know what went wrong back in college.’’

  “I think you were crushing on him and he’s not exactly like the kind of man you’ve pictured yourself with. You two seem to have quite the temper.’’

  I mulled over her words and wondered if maybe there wasn’t some truth to them. I remembered the day Maxen and I met freshman year. It was etched on my mind, from the embarrassing bathroom meeting and the coffee shop just moments later.

  I came back to the present in the cab as we were about to reach the gated community where Maxen and Dex lived. I haven’t thought about our meeting in a long time. I remembered how I felt when I first laid eyes on him. He’s always been so gorgeous, so larger than life and impressive. He hadn’t looked like any eighteen-year-old guy I had met back then, and if I was honest, he still was nothing like any man I’ve met since then. For the first time, my heart had jumped that day, and it had been very different from when I had a crush on a guy back in high school or when I had my first kiss, or even when I had lost my virginity.

  It seemed that my mother was right. I used to have a crush on Maxen back in college, and I hadn’t wanted to face it and deal with it like an adult.

  Instead, I antagonized him and convinced myself I didn’t like him at all and didn’t count him as a friend, just a nuisance among my group of friends. He had scared me so much, and I mistook fear with disgust and hatred. This was so ridiculous. I chuckled and earned a scowl from my cab driver who stopped at the gate.

  The man I remembered seeing the last time I was here guarding the gates during the day rounded the cab and came to my window. I lowered it and offered him a smile.

  “Hi, I’m Lark Hardin, here to see Maxen Walton. Could you let him know I’m here?’’

  The man smiled back and looked down at his clipboard before he nodded. “You’re on Mr. Walton’s list of approved visitors, Ms. Hardin. You can go right in.’’

  I thanked him and couldn’t stop the silly smile on my face. It’s ridiculous, but it felt good to know he went out of his way to get me on the list.

  It meant he cared.

  It meant he thought of me.

  It meant he hoped I’d come to him at some point.

  The cab driver shook his head and not once did his scowl ease off. He looked like something smelled bad and while his cab didn’t smell like pine tree car perfume, nothing smelled funny. I wanted to tell him that smiling wouldn’t hurt, but I refrained.

  A couple minutes later, he’s parked in front of Maxen’s driveway, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I located his truck in the driveway. It didn’t mean he was here, but it’s looking positive. I pa
id the cab with a swipe of my credit card and let him help me get my luggage from his trunk. He grunted something and promptly drove away while I was still looking at the big house looming over me.

  I should have probably called before taking the first flight to LA and intrude on Maxen’s life. But now that I was here…

  “Here goes nothing,’’ I mumbled and walked to the front door with my luggage in tow and rang the doorbell. I waited, and waited another minute, ready to turn around and try Dex’s door with disappointment settling hard and heavy in my gut, but the door opened, and Maxen was there.

  I laughed at the look on his face when he realized I was really standing in front of him. His green eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. His short beard looked more like stubble now that he’s trimmed it and I didn’t know if I loved how he looked now more than yesterday. All I knew was that I couldn’t wait to feel his stubble scratch my skin as he kissed me like he’s ready to devour me. I couldn’t wait to take off his t-shirt and his jeans riding so low on his hips it seemed as if only a single tug would get them to fall down his strong thighs.

  He didn’t move. He’s barring the door. His big body standing proud as his eyes took me in slowly, making me shiver with an excitement that still took me by surprise by its intensity.

  “What are you doing here? I mean…’’ He shook his head and frowned as if annoyed by his own reaction and I laughed again.

  Seeing him made my decision to up and leave NYC, a good one. All my worries regarding my job and my life were pushed back and rendered less intimidating. Maxen made it easier to bear. “Aren’t you going to let me in?’’

  “Yeah, of course, but listen I—’’

  “What is it, Maxen?’’ a feminine voice said from behind him. I couldn’t see her when his big body was the only thing I saw, but the familiarity with which she said his name was enough to clue me in on which type of relationship he had with the mystery woman.