Alphas Prefer Curves

by Unknown

  “Lil? You okay.” I lightly tapped her shoulder.

  She shot straight up, eyes flying open and wildly looking around the car. When she realized it was just me, she calmed somewhat. “I’m fine,” she said. “Just get us out of here, okay? I can’t take much more of this.”

  “Tell me about it,” I responded, watching as a large, black SUV angled up next to us. There were two men in the front seat, a driver and a passenger. Both leveled guns at us.

  Lilli caught sight of them and immediately took off her seat belt and hunkered down on the floor, arms over her head. “Oh god, oh god, oh god,” she keened.

  Since I knew I couldn’t go any faster, I did the only thing that made sense, I slowed down. They didn’t expect that, and, by the time the men pulled their triggers, their bullets went nowhere. Not even a ping on the Jeep’s battered metal shell.

  I gave a fist pump of victory. “Yes.”

  Then the car behind us open fired and they had guns that spit out a lot of bullets all at once. A spray of bullets hit the Jeep and shattered the back window. I felt one thud into the back of my seat and just prayed it didn’t have the energy to go any further. Hitting the accelerator again, I zoomed forward.

  “Lilli,” I said, my voice firm. When she didn’t respond, I shouted, “Lilli, come on! I need you!”

  She peeked up at me, her eyes puffy with tears. “What?”

  I jerked my head toward the back seat. “See if you can find a gun or something we can use as a weapon.”

  Lilli nodded, a determined expression on her face, one I recognized as her ‘time to get shit done’ face. It was the look she wore when performing while in the throes of food poisoning. It was the look that meant she wouldn’t let anything stop her.

  She climbed into the back seat with a soft ‘oof’ and rummaged around while I drove in an erratic zigzag pattern. I was no security expert but had a dim memory of a long ago women’s safety seminar that had said it was harder to hit a target that moved unpredictably. Add some basic geometry to that theory and I was sold. The shortest distance between two points is always a straight line, even for bullets, but while the Jeep could travel curves, the bullets couldn’t. It sounded good to me and nothing had hit us in a while.

  Of course, no one was shooting at us for the moment, and the car ahead of us had made no move to come back and finish the job. Instead they kept going, not leaving us behind so much as deliberately staking out and maintaining a lead. I wasn’t sure if these were good signs or ominous warnings of something worse to come.

  Where the hell was the embassy? I peered into the horizon, checking the road ahead of us. It seemed to me that there was a bunch of lights in the distance which could be a business district or, you know, the US embassy. Blake had said it would be a mile, surely we were almost there? Those lights had to be it.

  Lilli thrust something at me from the back seat. “I found this.”

  I took it and looked at it as I drove. From its small, round shape I took it to be a grenade. Huh. An idea formed in my mind. It would be a ballsy move, but if I could pull it off, we would be in much better shape.

  “Anything else back there?” I asked Lilli. Two, three or a dozen deadly weapons would be better than one. I mentally kicked myself for not asking Blake for a gun. For some reason, I’d never thought I would be adrift in the world without him even though we’d discussed, more than once, how it was over between us. A pang went through me as I recalled the explosion back at Frankie’s compound. I hoped he was okay.

  “No, nothing,” she said. “Except a spare tire we could maybe throw at them.”

  “Any way to set it on fire?” I asked. Throwing things in the road was a good idea, but I wanted to make it as lethal as possible. A plain tire wouldn’t do much more than bounce.

  “Sorry, all I’ve got are the clothes on my back.” She climbed back into her seat and just in time as someone decided to start taking pot shots at us again. We both ducked and I changed up my driving pattern by zagging first and zigging second.

  “Same here, but,” I held up the grenade, “at least we have this.” I increased the speed, maxing out the Jeep’s speedometer. We got up to ninety-five miles an hour and then the Jeep just refused to go any faster, but it was fast enough to catch up to the lead vehicle. Or maybe they had slowed down. Either way.

  I examined the grenade as I steered. I’d never used one before but had seen enough movies to know there would be a pin. It would have to be fast. There would be maybe five seconds or less for me to do what I wanted to with the grenade and then once the pin was pulled, if the movies I’d seen were right, I would have mere seconds to get the hell out of dodge.

  I took a deep breath and drew up behind the black car in front of us. “How good is your hand eye coordination?” I asked Lilli.

  She looked at me wide-eyed. “What?”

  I brandished the grenade. “I need you to throw this.”

  Lilli made a high pitched ‘eep’ of panic.

  “So, how good is your aim?” The passenger in the SUV turned in his seat and aimed his gun out the back window. I swerved at the last second and the bullet sailed by harmlessly.

  Lilli held on for dear life as my driving threw her one way and then the other.

  “Come on, Lil,” I said, my voice a stern bark. “We’re almost there, but we’ve got to stop these assholes.”

  She blinked and, when she spoke, it was with a theatrical southern drawl. Mae West kicking ass or perhaps Scarlett taking on Rhett. Where that came from I had no idea. Maybe it was stress or Lilli’s attempt to buck up. “My aim is just fine, it’s your driving I’m worried about.” She snatched the grenade from me and settled into her seat, studying the SUV in front of us carefully. “I was pitcher for my High School softball team. Even scouted by a university.”

  “Good,” I said relieved she actually had some experience. I pointed toward the vehicle. “I’m going to pull up beside them. You’re going to throw the grenade into the car.”

  She arched an eyebrow. “Into the car?”

  I nodded. “Their windows are down, or at least they were.”

  She hesitated and looked at the grenade with a frown.

  “It’s us or them, Lilli. Which side do you want to win?” A few days ago I might have had the same hesitation, but I’d left behind any resistance to doing what I had to do to survive in the Sahara. I wanted to go home. I wanted to sew again. I didn’t want Blake to die for no good reason.

  “Us. I choose us,” Lilli said simply. She waved a hand, motioning me forward. “Let’s do this.”

  “Okay.” I steered into the other lane and hoped the road would continue to be deserted or else we would run into oncoming traffic. “You have to be fast, Lil. We won’t have much time.”

  I looked toward the lights in the distance, which were much closer now. Close enough I could see the US flag waving in the air. All we had to do was shake our would-be murderers and make our way to safety. It would finally be over.

  The men kept shooting at us making things difficult. The car behind us also gained ground and more automatic gunfire came our way. They knew we were going to make a move.

  Staying as low as possible, I pulled alongside the SUV while Lilli simultaneously rolled down her window.

  When we were perfectly even with the driver, I screamed, “Now, Lilli, now!”

  She bit her lip and hoisted the grenade up in her hand. After what seemed like forever, but was actually not even a full second, she tossed the grenade toward the driver’s window. I floored the accelerator once it was airborne and held my breath.

  They SUV skidded to a stop and I caught a glimpse of the men frantically scrambling to either find the grenade or exit the vehicle, I couldn’t really tell which. Watching the action in a rearview mirror didn’t make it any easier either. Counting the seconds in my head, I frowned when I reached twenty.

  “It didn’t go off,” I said.

  Lilli shrugged. “I threw it like you asked.”


  I looked at her with narrowed eyes. “Did you pull the pin, Lil?”

  She appeared confused by my question.“The pin? What pin? There was a pin?”

  I smacked the steering wheel and swore loudly. “Yeah, there was a pin. It was a grenade. You know, you pull the pin and it goes boom.”

  “Oh shit, Ruby.” She slumped in her seat. “I didn’t even think about that, I was hyper focused on getting it into their car.”

  It would’ve been funny if we were starring in an action adventure film. The two hapless heroines who couldn’t even detonate a grenade to save the day. Except this wasn’t a movie and we didn’t have stunt doubles.

  I swore under my breath and pushed the Jeep’s accelerator to the floor. The engine sputtered and the speed didn’t change. The speedometer needle stayed firmly lodged on ninety-five miles per hour.

  “Really?” I asked, disgusted. “This is my luck?”

  “What is it?” Asked Lilli.

  “Nothing. This car is a piece of shit, that’s all.” I checked the rear view mirror, my heart sinking when I saw the two cars gaining on us.

  I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. We were less than a tenth of a mile from the US embassy, maybe it wouldn’t matter that the grenade didn’t go off. Or maybe that one mistake would cost us everything. I tightened my grip on the wheel and focused on the road ahead. We were so close, we had to make it. I refused to accept that we wouldn’t.

  There was a big boom behind us and the concussive force of it actually hit the Jeep, causing it to shudder forward. Lilli looked over her shoulder in response to the noise while I checked the rear view mirror. I couldn’t make anything out except a ball of fire and the fact that the cars tailing us had apparently…well, gone up in smoke to use a particularly apt cliché.

  “What’s going on?” I asked knowing Lilli would get a better view than me.

  “I think the two cars crashed,” she said squinting into the distance. “And maybe the grenade went off after all. Something blew up at least.”

  Relief washed through me, so immense it overpowered my nerves and I couldn’t feel anything else for a moment. With numb hands, I pulled up in front of the US Embassy. the building, much like Frankie’s mansion, was surrounded by high walls and a steel gate blocked the entrance. Two military guards stood behind the gate, and at our appearance, their hands went to their guns.

  Lilli and I spilled out of the car talking at the same time.

  “We’re US citizens,” I shouted.

  “We were kidnapped,” Lilli shrieked as she ran up to the gate and gripped its bars.

  “Put your hands up,” barked the one officer. His blue eyes glittered at us, cold as ice and his mouth was a tight line.

  Instantly we both raised our hands over our head.

  “Please sir, you have to help us,” I begged. “They’re going to kill us.”

  “Your names?” asked the other officer, he had gentle brown eyes and his jaw didn’t clench quite as tightly as that of his counterpart’s.

  “Ruby Palmer.”

  “Lilli Lush,” said Lilli. “Maybe you’ve heard of me?”

  The men just blinked at her with blank expressions. Too bad, we could’ve use a diehard fan just then.

  “I knew I should’ve done that USO tour last year,” Lilli muttered under her breath.

  When the officers didn’t appear to be doing much of anything with our names or at all inclined to open the gate, I started babbling. “What about Blake Cannon? Do you know that name? He was here on a government op, but Ferrid Abdul—who is a terrorist by the way--figured that out and the whole mission was compromised. What about Frankie Abruzzo, you ever hear of him? He’s the one who kidnapped us both.”

  Something I said hit a nerve because the men rushed to let us into the compound. The steel gate opened silently and we both raced inside. Just in time too, because another big SUV full of men with guns screeched up to the embassy. Lilli and I dove behind the thick adobe wall sheltering the embassy, our reflexes on high alert after the car chase we’d just survived.

  The soldiers were almost as fast and took up spots on either side of the gate, guns drawn and aimed at the street.

  The SUV’s engine raced. A car door opened, there was shouting in a foreign language and the blue-eyed officer yelled, “This is American soil. We will shoot to kill.”

  A relative quiet fell at his statement, lasting all of two seconds before they started arguing amongst themselves in whatever language they spoke. Then I heard a car door shut and the angry squeal of tires as they zoomed off. Taking a risk, I peeked around the corner to check out the street.

  Lilli pulled on my sleeve. “Ruby, what are you doing?”

  I yanked my arm away. “Nothing. Just trying to stay alive, same as you.” With relief, I noted the street was empty save for our Jeep. We were safe. We’d made it. My knees turned to jelly and I sagged against the wall, enjoying the cool stone at my back.

  “Everything okay?” Lilli’s green eyes searched my face anxiously.

  I nodded. “Yeah. I think so.” My voice caught and tears slipped from my eyes.

  Lilli swept me up in a hug, her whole body trembling from head to toe. “Oh my God, Ruby. We’re not going to die. It’s over.”

  I sniffed back tears, fighting not to ugly cry. “Yeah, it’s over.”

  Someone cleared their throat. Wiping our eyes, Lilli and I looked toward the sound. It was the icy blue eyed soldier. He didn’t look any more friendly than before. In fact his gaze seemed even cooler now. Was he even human?

  “Ladies, if you’ll follow me.” He jerked his head back to the building. “You’ll need to answer some questions.

  “Yes, yes, of course,” Lilli rushed to say with an eager nod of her head.

  And so we entered the US Embassy and told them the story of how a burlesque dancer and a seamstress got mixed up in the national security business of the United States Government.

  ***

  “How are those costumes coming?” Lilli peered over my shoulder and I resisted the urge to hunch over my sketch pad like a child caught writing notes in school.

  She considered what I’d drawn and made a non-committal noise which could be construed as approval or disapproval depending on your mood. My mood wasn’t especially good lately.

  I’d cried at the Embassy as they ‘debriefed’ us, which is a fancy word for sticking us in separate rooms and treating us like criminals for two days. I moped the entire plane ride home. The whole time I’d thought it would be a relief to return to the United States. I’d fantasized about what I would do, how I would feel. Naturally I assumed it would be fabulous.

  Instead I felt I was missing pieces of myself.

  Namely my heart.

  On which Blake Cannon’s name was carved.

  The intense media scrutiny only made things worse. Someone, somewhere had talked. A lot. There was a crowd of paparazzi mixed with legitimate press waiting for us at the airport in New York City. The media called our adventure Operation Burlesque and dogged us everywhere we went. Lilli vamped and preened while I desperately tried to fade into the background.

  She wouldn’t let me get off so easily, which is how I ended up doing several morning show interviews. I drew the line at a movie script though, and I refused to even acknowledge the idea of a Broadway musical.

  At least we made some good money off the interview circuit. Enough that we didn’t have any immediate financial concerns. Lilli herded me through it all, carefully fussing over my clothes and make-up and running interference with the news shows’ producers. She fielded most of the questions, making it so all I had to do was agree with her. I appreciated the small mercy, grateful that I had a mother hen. Even if she wore glitter.

  Yes, the first thing Lilli did was buy all new make-up and a wardrobe that made Liberace jealous from beyond the grave. She’d been through hell and I didn’t blame her for wanting to look like she came through the other side better than before. I just didn’t have
the heart to join her in the triumphant homecoming.

  See also: The previous bit about how my heart was back in Morocco, buried somewhere in the rubble of a bombed out building.

  I thought of Blake constantly. I dreamed of him. I saw him in the edge of a random stranger’s jaw or the flicker of heat dancing in the darkness of their eyes. Once, I followed a man for several blocks, convinced he might be Blake, hoping he wasn’t really dead.

  I was always wrong.

  After a week in New York, Lilli flew us out to Los Angeles, thinking to revert to our original plan to design and produce a new burlesque show. Her knee was still healing from surgery and she needed a few months of therapy before she could perform again. In LA we could work on the new show while she worked on her knee.

  She paid someone to drive the RV from where it had been abandoned deep in the heartland out to California. We took up residence on the beach, brainstorming the new show and drinking a lot of margaritas.

  Or rather, Lilli brainstormed while I doodled in my sketch pad and drank too much.

  She made phone calls, looked at venues, reviewed music and roughed out choreography. Somehow, whereas I came back deflated as a sad little donut tire, Lilli returned reborn and charged with enough energy to seize the world and shake it up.

  I couldn’t keep up.

  Worse, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to.

  But there was no stopping Lilli.

  “So, is that a…umm..mermaid?” Her tone was mild, but didn’t completely mask a thin thread of frustration in her upper register. I was supposed to be drawing bird costumes.

  “Sorry, I was daydreaming.” Flustered I closed the sketchbook and made to retreat to the beach. I would sit out there for hours watching the horizon as if hypnotized. Maybe that’s where the mermaid came from, some half-baked hallucination.

  Lilli put a hand on my shoulder. “Take your time, Ruby.”

  A flush burned up my cheeks. “You don’t have to wait on me, Lil.” I loved her too much to hold her back. I could rent a place somewhere and burrow there until…what exactly I couldn’t say. Something.