Save Me

by Amanda Heath

  I roll off her so she can get up. She moves around the room collecting her various clothing items before heading into my bathroom. She leaves the door open again as she dresses. I find I like this but I don’t know why. There’s something intimate about it, watching her dress, but it’s not creepy because she’s inviting me to look. She pulls her phone out of her jeans pocket and sets it on the counter. The thing is constantly vibrating. Guess she really is in trouble. She spends a few minutes reading over texts and sending some of her own.

  When she walks back out, her face is serious. She sits down on my bed and starts to speak. “Look, I really liked what happened last night. I didn’t come over here for that, but it was nice to experience.” Then she sighs and puts her face in her hands. “This isn’t what I needed.” Now she turns toward me and meets my eyes. “I’m not over Kellan. He’s been a lot of things to me and I owe it to him to listen to him. He ended it last night, but this morning, as my phone’s stating, he’s changed his mind. Now I feel awful about what I did with you last night. So, I’m going to go. And I’m not going to make you any promises, even though I want to.”

  I grab her behind the neck and bring her face close to mine. “I just got shot down by the girl I’ve been in love with since I was thirteen. I’m in no place to start anything. What happened last night helped, but I’m not going to build it up to anything if you don’t want it that way. It’ll be our little secret. And my mom’s, but you don’t have to worry about her.” Then I kiss her. I leave my tongue out of her mouth but I still don’t want to let her go.

  “Our little secret. I like that. I love secrets, I have a ton of them.” Then she kisses my lips once more before getting up. When she makes it to the door she turns back and looks at me. “It’ll be my favorite secret.” Then she’s gone.

  Needless to say, she got back with Kellan two days later. And I slowly started getting over Annabella. Little did I know, I was trying to get over Rachel, too.

  Chapter Four

  Present Day…

  Rachel ‘s tears fall down her face and I have to admit, she’s a pretty crier. I’m guessing she’s wearing that waterproof mascara because she doesn’t have raccoon eyes when she looks up at me. “How did this happen?” she whispers, her voice broken.

  Once again, I don’t know what to say to her. She didn’t do anything wrong and neither did I. We are both eighteen and had consensual sex. I used a condom but I couldn’t have told you the thing was going to break and make me a daddy.

  “Wes’s dad is…a doctor. Not like your dad. We can go to him, if you want,” I say, wanting to reach out and wipe the tears from her face. But all those weeks ago she chose Kellan, not me. I’ll never be anyone’s second best again. Even if I knocked her up.

  She looks up at me with horror in her eyes. “Are you serious? You want me to get rid of it?” The last word she screams.

  Shock courses through me, surprised that she would even think that’s what I meant. “Are you fucking nuts? I’d never ask you to get rid of a baby. It’s not the kids fault we got into this situation.”

  She closes her eyes and runs her fingers through her hair. “Then what the hell did you mean? ‘Cause it sounded like you want me to get rid of it.”

  I sigh and sit down on the couch, realizing this conversation is going to take awhile. “I’m not sure how much Wes has told you, so just bear with me. Uncle Grayson works for a man named Barney. Barney is a mob boss.” I look up at her and get no reaction. It’s not a well-known fact about my uncle, but people do know. I guess Rachel is one of them. “Anyway, he just does doctor stuff, nothing illegal. Well, it might be illegal, but he’s not running drugs, killing people, or pimping out women. He’s got an office in Dallas where he keeps his stuff. He’s delivered every baby in the ‘family’ so he’s got stuff to check you out with.”

  “Oh.” Then she stands up and wipes her own tears away. “Let’s go then.” Then she heads out the door.

  I don’t follow her. I just sit there and lower my head. I close my eyes tight trying to block out all of the bullshit in my head. It doesn’t work. All I can hear in my head is Wes saying Rachel’s pregnant. I wonder how I find myself in all these situations where my life gets really good and then it all falls to shit. I’ve been happy, fucking happy, the past seven weeks because I didn’t have Annabella telling me what to do, what to wear, and how to act. She’s no longer breathing down my neck.

  “Pierce?” Rachel asks softly.

  I jerk and lift my head. “Yeah?” I ask back, just as softly.

  “I promise it’s going to be okay.” Tears start shining in her eyes again and I want to do everything in my power to make sure they never fall.

  “I know it is G. I’m going to make sure it is.” Then I get up and lead the way out of the house.

  Paisley is sitting on her Camaro with her legs crossed Indian style. “Can you give us a lift to my car? We are going to go see Wes’s dad in Dallas,” Rachel states calmly, even though I know she feels anything but calm.

  Paisley nods but Channing walks up before she can get up. “How about we give y’all a ride to Dallas?” he asks us, his eyes squinting in the sunlight.

  “That’s fine,” Rachel sighs, walking to the passenger side of the Camaro. “I get passenger seat though.”

  I just roll my eyes and push the seat forward so I can climb in the back. Surprisingly Paisley climbs in on the other side of me, leaving Rachel in the passenger seat and Channing in the driver’s seat. When we start to back out, Paisley grabs my hand and squeezes it before letting go and staring out the window. She doesn’t even look at me.

  I just close my eyes and pretend to be the guy I was two hours ago. That guy didn’t have a baby on the way.

  I call Uncle Grayson on the way to Dallas and find he is already in the office. I don’t tell him what I need to see him for. I’ll do that in private because I know what he’ll say, and I know what my mom will say. They’ll want me to marry Rachel and all that jazz. I know this is true because that’s how mom ended up with two ex-husbands. She got knocked up with Ashley, got married, got divorced. Same with Donovan. And if you look at it this way, I’m actually the only kid she planned.

  Sweet Jesus.

  When we make it to my uncle’s office, I lead everyone inside and find him waiting for us in the reception area. “Can I talk to you for a second?” I inquire when he gets up from his seat.

  “Sure, Courtney,” he replies, placing a hand on my shoulder and leading me down the hall.

  We enter his actual office with his desk and computer and I sit down in the seat facing said desk. “I’m going to spit this out because I know how you’re going to react. So just let me say my piece and then we can get to the lecture.”

  Uncle Grayson sighs. “Which one is knocked up?” He blurts out his question looking me dead in the eyes.

  Fuck my life.

  “Rachel.” Uncle Grayson knows both Rachel and Paisley. It honestly wouldn’t be a big deal if Paisley were knocked up, considering she’s been with Channing for months and they live together, no biggie. They both have their own money and they are completely committed to each other. They are going to have happy babies one day.

  Right now I’m only worried about my baby.

  “Right. Who’s the dad?” This is also totally Uncle Grayson. I come in here to tell him what’s going on but he doesn’t wait to listen. Now it’s going to take longer for me to get this out.

  I stand up and place my hands on the desk before I speak. “I’m the father. And before you start asking questions, I’m going to answer them all now. No, Ma doesn’t know. Yes, I’m going to tell her when I get back to Meadows and after you confirm that Rachel is, in fact, pregnant. No, her parents don’t know. Yes, I plan on being there when she tells them. Yes, Royal punched me in the face much to the horror of your daughter. Then he spit at my face and Paisley kicked him out of her house. Yes, that was epic. And, no, I will not marry her unless that’s what we both want.”


  Uncle Grayson just stares at me, mouth open. Then he stands up and gets in my face. “How in the fucking hell did you knock up Dr. Sanders’ daughter? You don’t even like her group of friends. Wesley says you don’t even like Rachel.”

  I close my eyes. I forgot to answer a question. “It was the night Annabella pulled her shit. Rachel got dumped too and we weren’t in a good place for us to be alone. Things happened. I wore a condom but it broke. Seven weeks later, little Pierce is growing inside of Royal’s twin sister. Firmly putting me in a place I didn’t ever think I would be in.”

  Uncle Grayson sighs and sits back down. He rubs his forehead, at a loss of patience for me. “Well, I know one thing, and that’s you’re going to end up married real soon. Dr. Sanders is all about appearances. It’s close enough she won’t show at graduation, but this summer, and for college, he’ll make sure she has a husband.” With those parting words he gets up and comes around the desk. “I’m positive the girl is pregnant or you wouldn’t even be here. So let’s go make it real for the both of you. Then I’ll come with you to tell your mom and her parents. You’ll need the back up.”

  Uncle Grayson leads me out into the area where Rachel, Paisley and Channing wait. He leads just Rachel and I back to the room holding the ultrasound machine. Once we enter he has Rachel lay down on the exam table. He asks her to lift up her shirt before he squirts goo on Rachel’s lower stomach and then he takes the handheld wand to the goo. He points up at a monitor and before long he points out a shape the size of a pea and says the words I was hoping he wouldn’t say. “Rachel, you are definitely pregnant.”

  I’m sitting in a chair beside the exam table, and for some reason, I reach out and grab her hand. Her fingers grip mine tightly and tears start falling from her eyes. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, knowing she was hoping the tests were wrong. I was hoping the tests were wrong.

  “Don’t be sorry. You didn’t knock me up on purpose.” Her words are soft and full of sadness. I would be sad too if I got knocked up by some guy I didn’t really know. Especially if that guy was me. I have more baggage than LAX on a busy day. Not to mention I don’t get along with her friends and family. Plus, I’m a huge asshole. She’s probably wishing she’d never showed up at my house that night.

  I don’t have anything to say, so I stay quiet.

  “Courtney, I’m going to go get on the phone with your mother. I suggest you have Rachel’s parents meet us at their house. I think it would be best to tell everyone at once so we can decide what to do,” Uncle Grayson says, moving across the room toward the door.

  “What? I’m not telling my parents. They are going to kill me!” Rachel lets go of my hand and sits up. She takes the towel Uncle Grayson left on the end of the table and wipes her stomach hurriedly. “I’m eighteen, they don’t need to know shit.”

  Uncle Grayson sighs. “You and Courtney are both still living at home and you are both still in high school. You’re too young to be dealing with this on your own.”

  Rachel closes her eyes tightly and I guess she’s trying to calm down. “With all due respect, but I don’t want to tell my parents. I don’t want to tell anyone.” Then tears start to leak down her face anew. “I don’t want to tell anyone.”

  A little piece of me dies right then. I get what she’s saying. She doesn’t want anyone to know that I knocked her up. I close my own eyes and put my head in my hands. My thoughts grow dark but I don’t let them consume me. I’m better than that. I have a kid on the way. I can’t let Rachel, or anyone, bring me down again.

  “I understand all that Rachel, but you don’t have a choice,” Uncle Grayson states, opening the door to the exam room. “I’m going to my office to call Courtney’s mom. If you don’t call your parents, then I will. I know your father and your mother. Don’t make me do this for you.” Then he slams the door shut.

  I get up off the chair and start for the door, wanting to get far away from Rachel Sanders. I know I’m not the most appealing baby daddy, but damn, she makes it sound like this is the end of the world or something.

  “Pierce…” she whispers, but I don’t turn around. I have nothing to say to her. If she doesn’t want to tell her parents, then that’s fine. I want to tell my mom and I need to get a lawyer because I’m pretty sure Rachel isn’t going to be forthcoming with information or with letting me see my kid.

  Hell, I know it’s early to be thinking about all this stuff but my dad was a piece of shit. I’m not going to be a piece of shit to my child. And I’m not going to let anyone else be a piece of shit to my child either.

  Channing stands when I walk into the waiting room. He takes one look at my face and I find a matching anger on his face. “Is she being difficult?”

  I nod. “Uncle Grayson wants to have my mom meet us at Rachel’s house so we can all tell them together. Rachel doesn’t want to tell them at all.”

  Paisley gasps and looks up at Channing. “What the hell?” Then she gulps and looks at me. “She doesn’t want to get rid of it does she?” Her face drains of color and her hand reaches up to grab Channing’s.

  “I don’t know,” I say, and I’ll be damned if she does. She can carry the kid, give birth to it, and then give it to me. I’ll raise it before I let her get rid of it.

  “I’m not getting rid of it. Jesus, I’m not a monster. It’s not the kid’s fault.” Rachel’s voice is still soft but she gets the message across.

  Paisley stands and walks over to her. “No one thinks you’re a monster. We just wanted to understand why you don’t want to tell your parents.”

  Rachel looks down at her feet for a second and then back up, where her eyes meet Channing’s. “You know my parents, Channing. They aren’t going to be happy.” She pauses to take a deep breath, like she doesn’t want to admit what she’s about to say next. “They are going to make us get married. You know they are. What, with Dad being head of surgery and Mom being a high-priced therapist. Not to mention they both come from a lot of money and were raised this way. If you fuck up like this then you make it look good. No way would they let me be an unwed mother. My Mimi would be here walking me down the aisle herself.”

  “I know, Rach,” Channing tells her, sadness crossing his face.

  I can’t take anymore of it. I storm out of the waiting room and make my way to Uncle Grayson’s office. He’s sitting at his desk, rubbing his forehead with his hand. He looks up at me, and his face says it all; disappointment, regret and anger. “What did Mom say?”

  He sighs before answering. “She asked if you got Rachel pregnant. Apparently she walked into your room seven weeks ago and found you in a compromising position with Rachel.”

  I raise my eyebrows and have the urge to laugh. “We were cuddling. I hardly think that’s compromising.”

  He shrugs. “This is your mother. She always has a flare for dramatics.” He gets up from his chair and walks around the desk. “I went ahead and called Dr. Sanders. I know I shouldn’t have, but I don’t trust Rachel to. He could guess what I was calling for. He asked how far along she is and if everything looks good. I told him, but I have a feeling he doesn’t realize it’s you. He probably thinks it’s that Dean kid.”

  “Yeah. I just hope he doesn’t call Kellan’s parents before we get there. Rachel and him had a pretty big fight about this today. He wasn’t all that happy. He’d straight out tell her dad who the father is.”

  “I think he wants Rachel to tell them first.” Then he clasps me on the shoulder and moves me to the office door. “You going to ride with Rachel and your friends? I find it funny that Channing Southerland is here. I never thought I would see the day you two could even stand in the same room together. Made my day.” Then he chuckles.

  I just roll my eyes.

  ***

  Rachel’s house is huge. Which isn’t that big of a deal considering my house is bigger. I’m just saying that to let you know what it looks like. It’s white with black shutters by the many windows. It’s two stories and the front porch runs along the
front of the house. Huge, white columns hold the roof over the porch. There are a few wicker chairs set about and each one is occupied when I pull up with Uncle Grayson.

  Rachel looked like she wanted to refuse when I said I was riding with my uncle. I don’t know why, considering she keeps acting like me getting her pregnant is the worst thing that could ever happen.

  Rachel stands when I get out of the car but I don’t look at her. Royal is standing next to her chair, Wesley under his arm. Channing and Paisley take up the other seats but they also stand when I approach the porch.

  Wesley strides toward me and Royal tries to hold on to her. I want to smack the shit out of him, but I refrain, considering I’m at his house and I knocked up his sister. I don’t think that would go over well with her parents.

  Wes ends up with her arms around my neck and her face in my chest. She hugs me for a second before looking up at me. “We need to put some ice on your face,” Wesley tells me, walking me toward the front door. Royal growls behind us and I feel Wes’s hand lift up from where she has it placed on my back. It’s a second later when she places it back. Knowing Wes, she just flipped her boyfriend off. I seriously want to smile, but I don’t.

  Once we enter the house I look down at the top of her head. “My face doesn’t need ice, Wes,” I state, stopping her before we go any further into the house.

  She sighs. “I know, but if Royal says one more bad thing about you, then I’m probably going to break up with him. I’m already sick of his attitude.”

  I give her a small grin but I know it doesn’t reach my eyes. “He’s just upset.” Then I kiss the top of her head and turn to walk into Rachel and Royal’s house.

  I stop short when I find my mom standing there, tears falling from her eyes. “Courtney. Please come here.” She swallows and closes her eyes.