Save Me

by Amanda Heath

  I don’t return to my seat after I accept my diploma. I walk directly to the parking lot and stand by my mother’s car until everyone comes out. Van is the first one to me, his face a mix of rage, shock and sadness. “I can’t believe she showed up here. I didn’t even think she would be that bold,” he states, coming to stand by me at Ma’s car.

  I shrug my shoulders, my face an expressionless mask. “She has her right to graduate with us. She went to school in this district all her life. Though she should have kept her head down and pretended she didn’t know anybody.”

  “I noticed her looking around for you. She looked kind of pissed that you wouldn’t look up at her. Even when she was on the stage.” I watch his hand come up to smooth over his face before he drops it to his side. “She doesn’t know about Rachel,” he blurts out.

  “What? How could she not know? That shit was on Facebook!” I exclaim, because it’s really unbelievable that she doesn’t know.

  “She deleted her account when she did what she did. Ashley hasn’t spoken to Vic at all since then and no one else is going to talk to them. Mom is on the same page as Ashley. Annabella did wrong and she needs to pay.” He laughs, but the noise is dry. “Vic is just doing what we all would have done if it was Ash. Protect her. That’s what Mom taught him, what his parents taught him. But that’s what’s wrong with Annabella. She knows no matter what she does, Vic will still protect and love her.”

  “You can’t fault him for it. We would definitely do the same,” I mumble, watching Mom and Ashley striding toward us.

  “Let Mom rant it out of her system. Then you can get back up to your cabin. I know that’s where you want to be.” He breaks away from the car and walks up to Ma and throws his arm around her tense shoulders.

  “I can’t believe that little tramp actually showed up.” Ma huffs while Van leads her to the passenger seat of the car. “And I couldn’t even go give the little bitch a piece of my mind because Victor wouldn’t let me anywhere near her.” Van opens the door for her, but before she gets in, she faces me. “I raised those two and I did everything I could. It breaks my heart to see Coralline’s children turn against me. Victor disrespected me today and I told him he is no longer a part of this family. If they want to be alone for the rest of their lives, I’m not going to worry anymore. I’m not going to worry about either of them, even if it kills me!” she screeches, finally climbing into the car.

  I climb into the backseat with Ashley and the moment I sit down, I grab her hand. She squeezes it tight, a quiet sob racking her body. I pull her over to the middle so I can wrap my arm around her. Her head falls onto my shoulder and my jacket is soaked by her tears in seconds.

  In my own pain I failed to realize my sister is going through way more than me. I didn’t have to pick a side when Rachel dumped me. I didn’t have to pick a side when Annabella pulled her shit. I hold nothing against Victor. He didn’t tell that bitch to fuck with Van and I. Ashley though, she couldn’t live in that house with her. She couldn’t help protect Annabella from everything she’d done.

  The most chilling thought of all, is the fact that Ashley could never be with Victor because she would never forgive Annabella. She couldn’t be in the same family as Annabella. “You’re going to be okay, Ash.” I kiss her head and snuggle her closer. “I promise you that.”

  ***

  Channing is sitting on the front steps of my house when we arrive. His suit is also black, but unlike me, he didn’t add any color. That’s Channing for you though. Ashley spots him first and jumps out of the car running for him. They embrace when she tackle hugs him. I find it in me to smile because I never thought Ash would have this; all her brothers together and getting along.

  Channing leans down to whisper in her ear as he hugs her back tightly. He looks up at me before letting her go. When the rest of our party approaches, he scratches the back of his neck. “I hope you don’t mind that I’m here…” He trails off and looks down at Ash who’s still close to him. “Ash is the only blood I have left. I thought I could spend some time with her.”

  I think I shock everyone when I step up to him and give him a one arm hug and slap on the back. “You’re always welcome here. Where’s Paisley?”

  He gives me a grin before we walk into the house. “She’ll be here in a few. She had to take care of a few things.”

  “Like Rachel?” I ask, before my brain can tell me to shut up.

  “Yup,” he replies, and cringes. “She was fine with seeing you. It actually perked her up a little bit, but then Annabella showed up and she lost it. I thought she was going to strangle her after you walked off the stage. Royal had to hold her down until after they called her name. She started cussing out Annabella but Victor got in the way.” He laughs humorlessly and stops me with a hand on my forearm. “He was about to get in her face but I stepped in.” Then he shows me his knuckles on his right hand. “He got introduced to my hand. He should have a pretty black eye tomorrow. I kind of felt like shit for doing it, but I did it more for Ashley than anyone else. I haven’t hit anybody in a long time, I forgot how awesome it is.”

  “Channing Southerland! I’m going to beat the shit out of you!” Paisley screams behind us, as her Camaro pulls up in my driveway. “I can’t believe you punched him! You aren’t going to get your diploma now, you bastard.” She runs in her heels to get to us. Instead of beating the shit out of him like she promised, she jumps in his arms her legs going around his waist. “If you hadn’t hit him at graduation I would be proud of you. ‘Cause that was righteous!”

  I laugh at Channing’s expression, because you can tell the idiot is in love with the redhead in his arms. “Can we go inside before the neighbors all come out to stare?” I ask, eyeing Mr. Brewster who lives across the street. He’s a nosy bastard.

  Paisley jumps down and before I know it she has her arms wrapped around my shoulders. “I’m glad to see you, you moron. Luckily, Channing found out where you were because he’s on the inside with Ashley. I was worried about you. Rachel is strange, but I’ve always thought that. She needs meds, I’m telling you,” she tells me, laying her face against mine.

  “Alright, baby. Let him go, he’s not the affectionate type,” Channing states, his voice hard.

  Paisley lets me go and turns toward him. “You’re not the affectionate type. I’m used to it. You’ve just got to give the affection and not expect any in return.” Then she giggles. “Besides, Pierce is more affectionate than any other guy. He was always kissing Rachel’s neck and holding her. His hands were not far away from her body when they were together.”

  Channing rolls his eyes at her and finally ushers her into the house. But what she said hits a nerve with me. Was I really that affectionate? Thinking back on it, I was. I was always touching Rachel because I wanted to know she was real. I miss that.

  Hell, what am I saying? I miss all of it.

  Chapter Twelve

  “You look exactly like your mother,” the older lady standing at my front door says the moment I open the door.

  I blink and then arch an eyebrow. I take in her long gray hair and fancy purple suit. She’s obviously rich but I don’t like meeting people who know my mother because she is rich. Then the warm color of her brown eyes makes me take a step back and open the door all the way for her. Her features remind me of Rachel and I know this has to be the infamous Mimi.

  “Ah, I see you’ve figured it out,” she declares before walking in the front door of my cabin. “I would have called first but everyone refused to give me your number and I had to practically beg for the address for this place.” She pauses in the living room, I assume to take in the brown leather couch and matching loveseat. The carpet is a cream color as are the walls. My entertainment center sits in front of the couch and it holds my flat screen and brand new stereo. “I don’t beg for anything or anyone, so you should feel privileged,” she grumbles.

  I finally close the front door and walk into the living room. I lift a hand to scratch the back of
my head. “Can I ask what you’re doing here?”

  “Yes, you can, and I’ll answer that in a few moments, but we should sit down first. I’ve got lots of things to cover and I don’t think standing around is the choice way of doing that.” Then she walks around the back of my couch to the front and sits down. Then she pats the cushion next to her in invitation to sit down.

  I want to groan and ask her to leave but I don’t have it in me. I heard Rachel state plenty of times how crazy this lady is. She was supposed to show up a few days after Rachel found out she was pregnant but she had to postpone due to a few functions she had to attend. “This is strange,” I blurt out after sitting down beside her.

  She laughs out loud and pats my knee. “No, what is strange is the fact that my granddaughter looks just as bad as you do and you are four hours away from her.” I’ve been living in my pajamas for the past week. Plus, I haven’t shaved, so my face is sporting a nice beard. Luckily, I get my hair cut on a regular basis, so it’s still short and not sticking up at weird angles.

  I clear my throat before I explain. “She doesn’t want to be with me. And since she and I share a number of friends, I thought I would leave. I don’t want her overly upset and stuff so I came up here.”

  She clicks her tongue against her teeth and gives me a sad grin. “My granddaughter wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit her on the ass. She tried to explain to me that you are in love with the Gage girl. I thought this was an okay reason for her to be upset. I admit, I was upset with you myself because I didn’t see how you could love anyone over my Rachel.” I want to laugh because she gets it. I couldn’t love anyone over Rachel. “Then I spoke to your mother, and I learned some things about you I could never learn from Rachel.” I look at her with a “so what?” look because there’s no telling what my mother said to her. “She explained about Annabella and I understand why Rachel could get confused on where your feelings lie. The way your mother spoke, I would have thought you had fallen apart with what she did to you. And she said you did for a little while, but then Rachel got pregnant and you became a different man. I know you were good to my Rachel; the poor girl couldn’t stop telling me. I’ve never seen her so lost. She barely eats and she barely sleeps. Royal said all she wants to do is read in her room. He doesn’t know if that’s what she’s doing, but I do. That’s what my Rachel does when she feels lost and alone. She finds herself in books because they are the only true friends she’s ever had.”

  Hearing about Rachel does funny things to my insides. They twist and turn and I honestly feel like I might puke. I want to get in my car and run to her, fix her. Everyone is broken in some way. Some are more broken than others but that doesn’t mean they don’t all need the same thing to be fixed. I wanted Annabella to fix me but she didn’t want to. Rachel fixed me without even trying.

  There will never be a question regarding whom I would choose. Rachel will win every time.

  “I won’t go after her, if that’s what you want. I had one crazy female asking me to chase her around and that left me shattered.” I smooth a hand over my face, not believing I’m telling her this stuff. “Rachel doesn’t need me to chase her. She’d get bored with me so fast. She wants a relationship that just is and I know that because that’s what I want. And she doesn’t think our relationship is like that because she’s intimidated by what Annabella meant to me. And she shouldn’t be, because I would never go back to Annabella. Not after having Rachel in my life. No one will ever be what Rachel is. And I tried to show her that, but she wasn’t looking hard enough.” A cold hand comes down on mine and squeezes.

  “I see you know my Rachel way better than I thought you did.” Then she rises to her feet and looks down at me with those eyes so much like her granddaughter’s. I miss those damn eyes. “Do you love my Rachel?”

  “Yes.” Even though it doesn’t make sense, even though I hadn’t been with her long. I fell in love with her because she was everything I didn’t know I needed. She was simply everything. “She is everything,” I repeat for her ears.

  “I believe we will be meeting again, Courtney Pierce,” she states with a mysterious smile on her face.

  I stand up with her now and walk over to the door. She follows behind me and at the front door she walks out without a goodbye. “What do I call you?” I holler out the front door.

  “Mimi,” is all she replies.

  ***

  “You won’t ever love anyone like you love me. That’s why I want you.”

  I wake up on a gasp and immediately I want to scrub my brain with a wire brush and bleach. This is getting to be a real problem. It’s like she’s trying to tell me something but she won’t ever get to the point.

  I need her to get to the point.

  I want that bitch out of my fucking head. I want to erase her out of my history. I want her out of my world. I want to pretend she never existed because I gave her everything and I realize now, she never gave me shit.

  She shouldn’t even be a problem right now.

  “Writing on the Walls” by Underoath plays through the stereo I fell asleep listening to. I’ve gotten pretty good at remembering the names of songs and who plays them. I’ve found I really like Avenged Sevenfold and Disturbed. Underoath is great too but they scream more than anything else. Kind of hard to follow, but I do like the message they send through each song. Never would I have thought there was a Christian rock band like this. I’ve also added Killswitch Engage, Metallica, Soundgarden, Seether, Halestorm, and Five Finger Death Punch.

  The song changes over to “Make It Stop” by Rise Against when headlights come through the living room window and I groan. Who the hell is this? I haven’t had anyone visit me since Rachel’s grandmother left earlier this morning. It’s damn near midnight so I can only assume it’s Wes, Van or Ash. Or, a combination of them together.

  I hear a door slam and I rise up from my prone position on the couch. I get up and cross to the front door and open it before they have a chance to knock.

  The person who greets me makes my heart stop.

  “What are you doing here?” I choke out, not believing my eyes.

  “My fucking grandmother made me come out here,” she spits out, crossing her arms around her chest.

  “Then now that you’re here, you can turn around and leave,” I state, using my finger to make a twisting motion.

  She sighs and uncrosses and recrosses her arms. “I can’t. If I leave right now she’ll know we didn’t talk to each other.”

  I throw open the door and Rachel winces when it smacks against the wall. “Then by all means, let’s talk! I want to hear why you’re such a bitch and what I ever did to you!” I bellow, watching her take a step back and not liking it.

  “Whatever,” she mutters, looking down at her feet.

  I let out a frustrated groan and throw my fist out, knocking a dent into the door. “Don’t you whatever me! I’ve been miserable for two weeks and you show up out here and that’s supposed to fix something?” I don’t think I have ever been this pissed before. Okay, that’s a lie, but you get what I mean. “I’ll tell you what you did to me. I’ll tell you everything!” I exclaim, walking out the door after her.

  “I don’t care! Do you hear me? I don’t care, Pierce!” she screams at me. She is pissed and breathing fire. She has never looked so beautiful to me. Well, when I can see her face and she isn’t turning away from me.

  “You care. You can pretend you don’t, but you do. You came all the way out here.” I pause, grabbing her hand and swinging her around to face me. “You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t care.” I’m breathing fire now myself, but I don’t care. I pull her closer, until her chest touches mine. I cup my hands around her jaw and lean down to whisper against her lips, “You made me, you broke me, now you’re going to fucking save me.”

  Then she’s on me before I can even muster a thought in my head. Her lips slam into mine and her legs jump up to wrap around my waist.

  Shocked to my core that she’s
kissing me, I kiss her back without thought. Her tongue reaches into my mouth and her hands smooth over the spiky locks of my hair, back and forth. My hands go to her ass because it’s a really nice ass, but also to support her weight. Not that she weighs much, to me anyway.

  “What are you doing?” I whisper against her cupid’s bow lips.

  Her hands leave my hair to come down and lift my shirt. I don’t let her get it off of me because we are going to talk before any sexy times happen. “Court…please…” she begs, her lips kissing my neck and the warm heat between her legs grinding against the erection she’s caused.

  “Rachel, what. Are. You. Doing?”

  She sighs and lifts her head. “Are you really going to make me say it?” When I nod, she groans and shoves her face in my neck. “Okay, so I’ve been reading dirty books for the past two weeks and I’ve built up this…this horniness. I seriously need you to take care of it before I explode.”

  I blink a few times wondering if that really just came out of her mouth. “What?” I feel my face contort in confusion and a little bit of anger.

  “Well, it’s not like I can go and fuck whoever. I’m pregnant with your kid. It’s morally wrong to have sex with a man who is not the father of the child inside of you. I don’t give a fuck what anyone says. That would make me a fucking whore and I’m never going to be a fucking whore,” she spits out, with venom in her voice.

  “That’s not what I meant. I just wanted you to confirm that you are horny and you need me to take care of it. I’ve never thought you were a whore,” I quickly put out there.

  “A fucking whore and yes, that is what I said.” Then she starts trailing soft, sweet kisses along my neck. I squeeze her ass before I walk us back to my bedroom. The cream carpet is all along the cabin except in the kitchen and two bathrooms. My bed is king sized and the sheets and bedspread are black. The walls are a deep red and don’t ask me why. Red is not a color you should be sleeping under. Hence, why I was sleeping on the couch.