The Fire of Life

by Hilary Wilde

  family. You can talk to Samantha, she'll be glad to see us. She's pretty fed-up, and. I can't say I blame her. It's like being married to a football fan. Mike thinks of nothing but his work. Tough on the wife.'

  No more tough than being married to a doctor, a merchant seaman . . or practically any marriage, for a wife has to accept her husband's involvement with his work,' Cary said quietly—a quietness that made Rayanne shiver for a moment. She knew he was angry about something. But what was it? she wondered. She was even more frightened when he suddenly turned to her and snapped: ' How often do you see Samantha?'

  She blinked for a moment. Not as often as I

  should, I suppose,' she told him. ' We do sometimes pop in for coffee, don't we, Burt? Also if Burt isn't with me, I get Kwido to take me there on my way back.'

  ' I see.' Cary's dark tufty eyebrows seemed about to meet as he frowned. You say you don't see her as often as you should. I wonder if you're not seeing her too much.'

  Too much?' Rayanne's voice rose with surprise.

  Cary nodded. Yes, too much.' His voice was cold. ' Sister Macintyre has been talking to me about Samantha. She says that Samantha's condition has gradually grown worse since you came here.'

  ' Condition?'

  He nodded. Daphne Macintyre reckons she's

  on the verge of a nervous breakdown—Samantha is,

  I mean.' He frowned again. ' She's got steadily

  more depressed, resentful and full of ailments that don't really exist. Daphne reckons that Samantha is like a child, trying to gain attention.'

  She needs it,' said Burt, almost growling. Cary glanced at him, but ignored the remark as he went on:

  As I told you when you first came, Ray, I'm not happy about the wardens' wives meeting girls like you. It makes them discontented, resenting their isolation. After all, surely a wife's duty is to share her husband's interests. I seem to remember you telling me that once.'

  Rayanne caught her breath as her cheeks grew hot. She could remember it, too, so plainly. Also the soft gentle way he had answered her, saying: ' I think that's rather wonderful.'

  Mike's a good chap. I'd hate to see his marriage threatened,' Cary finished.

  It was Burt now who was angry, so angry that his voice trembled. Look, Cary, if you want to see someone who is threatening the Crisps' marriage, it's that Daphne Macintyre. She hasn't an ounce of brains in her head nor a soft spot in that hard heart of hers. Every time Samantha goes to the Clinic, Daphne starts talking about the essential ingredients of a contented marriage, which is to share interests and have children . .

  And what's wrong with that?' Cary snapped.

  Burt scowled. Daphne hasn't a clue what marriage requires. Children are not essential—they may even harm a marriage. In this case, though, I think it's the answer, but it isn't exactly tactful of Daphne to harp on it when Samantha and Mike have

  been trying to have a child for the last five years. It's like twisting a knife in a wound. Samantha always comes back in tears.'

  You seem to know a lot about Samantha,' Cary said gruffly.

  Burt smiled. Sure I do. Mike and I are real

  buddies, but Samantha weeps on my shoulder.' Then he frowned. Look, let's get this straight. If Samantha has got worse since Rayanne came, it's not her fault—Rayanne's, I mean. It's Daphne's. As for Rayanne, if anything, she's tried to interest Samantha in her husband's work. All Rayanne talks about these days is the importance of conservation.' He smiled across the room at Rayanne who was sitting very still, her hands tightly clutched together. She's getting even worse than you, Cary, and never stops talking about it.'

  Daphne Macintyre has been in charge of the Clinic for several years,' Cary said, in the rather pompous way he sometimes used and which Rayanne hated. ' I have no record of Daphne making a wrong diagnosis. She's seriously concerned for Samantha and that a nervous breakdown might occur.'

  Rayanne found her voice. ' That's absolute rubbish, Cary! Samantha isn't like that. She's just bored and lonely. Mike is out all day and most nights he's studying or making notes. He has a lot of paperwork, as you know.' She sighed. Burt is right, you know, Cary. The, Crisps want a baby —so badly. If only . .

  Burt suddenly clapped his hands. I've got it!

  What fools we were not to think about it before.'

  He smiled as he turned to Rayanne. Look, if they can't have one, they could adopt one. Lots of people adopt children and then have some of their own. They say it's because the mother stops worrying about it, and . .

  Cary stood up. His face might have been -carved out of stone, it was so cold and lifeless.

  ' I would prefer you to refrain from interfering with the private lives of my employees, Burt. It's their affair, not yours. There are some people who find it impossible to accept other men's children. It's possible Mike feels that way.'

  Then Mike would be plain selfish,' Rayanne said indignantly.

  Cary looked at her. Would he? Or would it be Samantha who was being selfish?' He glanced at his watch. I've some letters to write, so if you'll excuse me . . .' He left hurriedly.

  Burt whistled softly as he looked across the room. He's really mad tonight. I wonder what's rattled him. I didn't think he was that partial to Aileen Hampton's charm, but seems like he's missing her.' He stood up. Come along, Rayanne, let's go and see the Crisps. I can take the Land Rover I usually have.'

  He pulled Rayanne to her feet and went on holding her hands, smiling down at her, swinging her hands gently.

  Or shall we stay here, alone?' he asked, his eyes twinkling. A romantic setting. I could put on some music, turn low the lights . .

  Of course he was joking, Rayanne told herself, but a shiver went down her back. Was he? Some-

  times there was a look in his eyes that frightened her. Not that she was afraid of Burt—but she liked him too much to want to hurt him Perhaps it was just her imagination, but .. .

  She managed a laugh. Let's go and see

  Samantha and Mike, Burt. I wonder if they've ever discussed adopting a child. It might really be the answer.'

  They went outside into the perfumed dark night with the sky's blackness broken by the beauty of the new moon. Rayanne looked up.

  ' It's unbelievable that man has been up there . .

  Burt's hand was under her elbow as he guided her across the drive to the Land Rover. Many things are unbelievable today.' He paused and for one moment Rayanne thought he was going to take her in his arms. What should she do? she wondered wildly. He was too nice to hurt. She couldn't slap his face, or turn hers away . . . nor could she let him kiss her and believe that she loved him.

  At that moment, a light flooded out from the house and a door of the stoep opened. Cary's voice carried clearly through the quiet air.

  Ask Mike to ring me first thing in the morning and I'll give him the answer he needs,' Cary called.

  Okay, Boss ! ' Burt called back, and helped Rayanne into the Rover. Sitting by her side, switching on the ignition, he chuckled. I wonder how long he'd been watching us.'

  Watching us?' Rayanne was startled. ' Why should he watch us?'

  ' Because he's that kind of guy,' Burt said, the

  .

  engine roaring into life. He sees us all as his

  puppets and he dislikes us playing unless he's pulling the strings.'

  I don't think that's quite fair!'

  Fair it may not be, but it's true. Cary knew from the first time he met Aileen in London just what she wanted of him, but he had a good inner laugh at the way he made her behave. Rushing out here suddenly so that he couldn't get out of it, being so biddable, which Cary adores. He loves to crack the whip and watch his women obey.'

  ' His women?' Rayanne echoed.

  Yes, aren't you all smitten by his charm? If you're not, you ought to be. Leastways, that's how Cary sees it. He just laps it all up. I doubt if Christine and Daphne would have been here so long if they didn't make out they were fighting to hook him ' Burt gave a funny laugh
. Now he's trying to catch you. Then he'll make you dance, regardless of whether you'll get hurt or not.'

  ' I don't believe it! ' Rayanne turned in her seat to stare at Burt angrily. It's not true.'

  Burt chuckled. Isn't it? You only say that ,

  because you don't want to believe it. You hate believing things that are nasty, don't you? You like life to be smooth and perfect, everyone an angel. Unfortunately none of us are angels—that's why you're so hurt when you learn the truth about us. You see life through rose-coloured glasses . . . at least you'd like to, and when people behave normally, you get upset. Take your reaction just now. You were shocked, horrified and hurt because I dared say anything against the one an donly Cary

  Jefferson. He has to be perfect. Just as I have to be perfect, too!'

  ' You?' Rayanne was really startled.

  His hand closed over hers for a moment. ' Yes, and you knowdarned well why. You hate being disillusioned, because it breaks down something inside you. You have such high expectations. We've all got to be as perfect as your father.'

  ' My father?' Rayanne began to laugh, but stopped. ,` My father?' she repeated.

  ' Yes, you've got a real complex there. You're always talking about your wretched brothers who. seem to spend their life deliberately hurting you by teasing The plain truth is this: you hate them teasing you because it makes you look small in front of your father. You want your father's love. You need it.' The Rover had stopped and they were parked outside the Crisps' house.

  You need it very much,' Burt went on, his voice low and earnest. ' You want his respect, his praise and for him to be proud of you. You'll never be the real you until that happens.' He leant across and opened the Rover's door. ' We'd better go in or Samantha will think we're necking.' He chuckled. ' What a hope! '

  Silently Rayanne followed him up the few steps to the door. Samantha flung it open and called out in delight.

  Come in, come in. The answer to a lonely girl's prayer! Lovely to see you, Burt . . . and you, too Rayanne Why this unexpected visit?'

  ' The evening was dead,' Burt said bluntly. ' Looks like we all miss Miss Hampton.' His voice

  was sarcastic. ' Mrs J. has retired with a sprouting migraine, Cary has gone to write some letters and we .. . well, we thought we'd like to see you.'

  ' You know I'm delighted. I'll make us some coffee. Dorcas has gone home, of course. Come in the kitchen with me, Rayanne Mike's in his office, Burt.'

  Samantha, in a long lush-looking housecoat of peacock colours, led the way to the kitchen, talking over her shoulder.

  ' It's so nice to see you, Rayanne.' Then she smiled and lifted her hand, wagging one finger warningly. Watch out, though. You were a long time sitting out there with Burt.' She laughed. Don't look so shocked. Why don't you marry him? He's crazy about you.'

  Crazy about me, Rayanne thought. Was he really? But she . . . was crazy about someone else.

  CHAPTER VII

  In the morning at breakfast, Cary seemed to have become his usual self. He greeted Rayanne cheerfully, looked at Burt and asked them:

  ' We're catching some hippos today to send, to England. Like to come along?'

  ' I would,' Rayanne said eagerly.

  Is it kind to take animals who are used to the lovely African sunshine to cold England?' Mrs Jefferson asked, carefully eating her grapefruit.

  Cary shrugged. They soon seem to adjust in a land where the sun never shines.'

  It does shine,' Rayanne said quickly. ' Sometimes we have beautifully hot summers.'

  Sometimes?' Cary looked at her, a smile playing round his mouth and her cheeks went bright red.

  Once again, she had risen to the bait!

  ' I think most foreigners are surprised just how often the English sun does shine,' Burt joined in quickly. Most of them think it always rains.'

  It can be very cold in Africa,' Mrs Jefferson agreed. " In Johannesburg, now .. .' she shivered, ' it can be very cold indeed.'

  How do you manage—I mean, it can't be easy to get a huge hippo into a crate,' said Rayanne, wanting to change the conversation.

  ' We keep them in paddocks for some time,' Cary explained. Their food is put in the travelling box so they get used to walking into it and there's no

  difficulty. It's been done so often these days that there are no real problems.'

  ' I think you're very clever, dear,' Mrs Jefferson said, helping herself from the sideboard where the deliciously cooked kidneys and bacon were.

  It's not me, Mother. I just organise things and leave the rest to the staff. Nowadays we use a new anaesthetic that's very successful. It's a syntheticmorphinous one and it affects the brain and central nervous system. It's much more powerful than morphia and releases the animal from its inhibitions. This means that an animal is subdued. There is also a sleeping draught mixed with it, so the animal moves like a sleepwalker.'

  You've gone a long way,' Burt commented, ' from the old days when you caught them with lassos.'

  Cary laughed. We certainly have! Those were the days—the battles we had! You should try to handle a giraffe with his long legs. This is infinitely easier and kinder to the animals as they rarely get hurt.'

  But how do you give them the injection?' Mrs Jefferson asked. A bow and arrow, I suppose.'

  We use a crossbow and dart now. We used also to use a gas gun, but the crossbow goes off quietly so the animals aren't frightened. Also the dart can be shot accurately a very long way. It can be a hundred and twenty yards, though the dart can be affected by the wind changes, so it's better to use it in the wooded regions, otherwise the wind makes it difficult.'

  Does it hurt the poor creature?'

  Cary smiled patiently at his mother. ' I doubt it, because it happens so swiftly. The dart looks like an ordinary hypodermic syringe with a tail added. After we've finished with the animal, he's given an antidote and speedily regains his usual senses. Meanwhile all that has happened is a small wound which we will have treated with disinfectant. Nothing to worry about.'

  So long as you're not catching elephants, Cary.'

  Actually they're not difficult. Once they're sleepy they move so slowly and seem to behave as we want them to. The difficulty, of course, is in choosing which animals we want to catch. We have Bilkington who does most of the shooting. He's a fine biologist. You've probably heard of him, Ray?' Cary turned to her.

  She shook her head. Afraid I haven't.'

  ' How long does it take for the drug to work?' Burt asked.

  About ten minutes. Gradually their running slows down and finally we catch up with them. Bit rough, for they charge through bushes and trees. Ray won't be allowed to leave the Rover,' Cary added with a smile.

  Why . . Rayanne began to ask, but Mrs Jefferson got in first.

  ' I should hope not indeed ! Now, Cary, you're to take great care of Rayanne What would her Uncle Joe say if anything happened to her? How could I write and tell him? He'd never forgive me . . .' Mrs Jefferson began to sound quite hysterical.

  I won't let her run any risks, Mother,' Cary said

  gravely. My main problem is the fact that she

  resents being protected and is quite capable of jumping out of the Rover and being eaten by a lion—out of sheer defiance.' He smiled at Rayanne.'

  Rayanne, you wouldn't?' Mrs Jefferson was shocked.

  Rayanne blushed. He was so right! ' I won't, Mrs Jefferson.'

  You promise? Please, Rayanne, I shan't be able to stand it unless you promise you won't do anything foolish and that you'll . . . well, do what Cary says. He does know, you know?'

  I promise,' Rayanne said with a smile. Please don't worry about me. I know I'm in good hands.'

  We all know that,' Cary said dryly. His voice had changed again. By the way, how is the thesis coming along, Ray?' he asked.

  She was so startled that for a moment she couldn't answer. Now why had he suddenly asked her that? And what could she tell him? Not even the first page had been written yet, nor did it seem like
ly that it would ever be. There was a strange silence and she suddenly became aware that three pairs of eyes were staring at her, that three people were waiting expectantly for her answer.

  It was a great effort, but she managed a somewhat uncertain laugh. Not too badly, thanks. Copious notes, of course, but I'm still not quite sure from which angle . .

  Cary stood up, rattling his chair on the highly polished floor.

  Today may give you inspiration. See you in half an hour. Burt, you bring her along and we'll

  all meet at Jock Tilling's house. See you,' he added curtly, and left the room.

  Rayanne buttered her piece of toast slowly, grateful that Burt was talking to Mrs Jefferson. What had Cary meant? she wondered. Was it a gentle hint that he thought it time she left the Jefferson Wild Life Reserve?

  ' Is it very hard to write a thesis, Rayanne, dear child?' Mrs Jefferson asked anxiously.

  Well, not really . . Rayanne began, and saw the look in Burt's eyes. He didn't believe she was writing one, she realised. He thought it was all an excuse . . . just as Christine and Daphne had done.

  The trouble is . . .' she went on, but Burt interrupted.

  To know what you're writing about,' Burt said dryly, ' and why. However, I imagine she'll have to do it.'

  Why are you so sure?' Mrs Jefferson asked. I mean, is it so important? Couldn't she change her mind?'

  Burt looked across the table at Rayanne. I very much doubt it. What do you say, Rayanne?' he asked, looking at her. It was a strange feeling, she thought. It was almost mesmeric, the way his eyes held hers so that she couldn't look away. Then he smiled, moving his head, releasing her from that strange moment. No, she'll write that thesis all right, make no mistake.'

  Rayanne got up quickly. ' If you'll excuse me, Mrs Jefferson, I think I'd better change into my working gear.' -

  She saw the amusement in Burt's eyes. He knew