Summer in the City

by Irene Vartanoff

Rona met Edward at a quiet, dim restaurant for lunch. Most of the other patrons were men and women having low-voiced, intimate chats, leaning close to each other. It was painfully obvious that this was a lovers’ hideaway. Half-humorously, she asked, “Why did you pick this place? It’s the restaurant version of a no-tell motel.”

  “Force of habit? We used to be a secret,” Edward said gravely.

  She tried to lighten him up. “Not anymore, so we can relax. There’s nobody left to object to us being together.”

  “My two grown children might,” he replied.

  “I’m done with secrets, Edward,” she stated flatly, suddenly aware of a chasm opening up under her feet. After all this time, was he still worried about being publicly linked with her?

  “It’s not like that,” he insisted. “Celia, my daughter, has said she doesn’t expect me to marry again.”

  “Are you allowed to have sex, at least?” she asked in a sarcastic tone of voice.

  Edward looked uneasy. “I don’t know. Probably not. After all, my wife died only two months ago. Celia is still grieving.”

  “She’ll get over it. I’m done with hiding our relationship.”

  At her adamant statement, he looked even more pained. “Could we not think about this now? I want to find out more about Nancy. Tell me what she’s like.”

  She eyed Edward carefully. Despite his enduring handsomeness, his imposing height, and his meticulous style of dress, he looked every year of his age today, and not happy. There were dark circles under his eyes.

  “Are your worried about her? You don’t need to be.”

  “Today, I changed my will to include Nancy. I want to meet her, but I’m afraid.”

  “Is there something you aren’t telling me? Are you ill?” She tried to keep the anxiety from her voice, but she couldn’t. Was that the real reason he had contacted her and resumed their affair?

  “No, no. Nothing like that.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “I’m fine. Unless frequent sex will kill me.” He vouchsafed her a sly smile. He had a right to smile. The man was a devil in the sack. He knew how to make her go blind with passion.

  She brought her mind back to the will. “Putting Nancy in your will could cause major shock and unhappiness if your children don’t know about her existence until after you die. You should talk to them soon.”

  He looked uncomfortable again. Evidently he was hoping that he didn’t have to reveal his feet of clay to his children. He made a dismissing gesture. “Tell me more about Nancy.”

  She gave in to the inevitable with a good grace and told him some stories of the various visits she’d had with Nancy over the years. What Nancy was like as a baby, and as a little girl, and more. Susan was the one who knew it all much more intimately. After promising to arrange a meeting with Susan, Rona cut short their lunch, kissing Edward on the cheek as she left. She’d sworn there wouldn’t be any more sex for a while, which was why she’d insisted on lunch out in public. Edward had done his best to hide them in the shadows of this dump.

  She needed to get this relationship into perspective, without the baggage of the past obscuring her vision. Today, she had made a big leap. She’d finally noticed that he was still afraid of being seen with her. Now that his political career or his marriage wasn’t at stake, Edward was fearful of disapproval from his daughter.

  Was Edward a weak man? Someone who would always claim there were obstacles to being happy? She had thought of him as strong because he was able to end their affair, and nobly go back to his wife. Now she wondered. Could she stay in love with a man who would deny himself happiness because of others’ disapproval? Hadn’t Edward and she paid enough for their affair over twenty-five years of heartbreak?

  She did not plan to sneak around ever again. Their next meeting would not be in some obscure lovers’ rendezvous dive. She made some calls and arranged a dinner with Susan, and added Louis to complete the party. Louis could always lighten the mood.

  ***

  Susan was glad to have something to do the next evening. She’d gone alone to another play the previous night, and frankly, she’d had enough of them. Broadway was all pretty much the same at any given time, ringing the same changes with different names and settings. Even Shakespeare in the Park was doing Broadway revivals. It was as if she had been dining only on cake night after night. Too much.

  She was running scared all of a sudden. She’d had such a wonderful evening with Michael, and had known it was the start of something important. Then Bev had thrown cold water on that romantic fantasy, reminding her of her failure with Rick, of her utter selfishness. Was she hurting Michael’s feelings by refusing to see him? It had been three days now. She didn’t know how to rein in their passionate attraction. Was she ready to cross over and finally go all the way with him?

  Go all the way. What they used to talk about in hushed tones when she was a teenager. How the world had changed. Nancy was no longer a virgin at age sixteen. The only thing that had kept Susan sane was knowing that Nancy’s boyfriend was only sixteen too, and easily led. Nancy had controlled that relationship entirely. Regardless of the issue of sex, there was still studying to do and there were chores around the house, and volunteer work, absolutely essential these days in order to compete with all the other bright students for the best college acceptances. Nancy had experienced sexual intimacy without getting pregnant, and she got good grades, and did everything else right, too. She had always been levelheaded. She took after Rick that way. Also after Rona, who was a clear thinker and a hard worker. And tough, oh, Nancy was tough.

  ***

  That evening at dinner, Susan luxuriated in telling Edward of Nancy’s many virtues, although she did not talk about her daughter’s sex life. He seemed to eat it all up. They were dining in a trendy fusion restaurant in SoHo. Susan had been surprised at Rona’s choice, since they’d had to wait outside for their table despite reservations. Once inside, seated at a prominent table, they had found the place to be noisy and the food not very good. When she pulled out some photos she’d printed off her photo-sharing site, Edward was ecstatic.

  “See? She’s tall, like you.”

  “She looks like you, Rona,” he said.

  “No,” Rona denied in a challenging manner. “She always has looked like you. See her forehead and nose?”

  “You’ll grant that she does look a bit Chinese, won’t you?” he asked humorously.

  Louis guffawed.

  Rona had fire in her eye tonight. She stiffened at the mention of her race, which she usually treated as a non-issue.

  “She’s Chinese American, adopted, like many upper class children. She happened to be adopted from New York, not Asia.”

  Susan raised her eyebrow at the tone in Rona’s voice, as if she was itching for a fight. Rona didn’t usually call attention to her Chinese ethnic heritage, either.

  “Edward. How nice to see you out,” said a blonde, well-cared-for woman of late middle age. She was with a man of such WASP aspect that he could have stepped off a yacht only a moment before. Blazer, tan slacks, and Topsiders. All he needed was a captain’s hat.

  “Harry and I don’t usually go out in the middle of the week, but this restaurant is so fashionable, it was the only day we could get reservations. We had to wait weeks.”

  How had Rona pulled it off? They had such a good table, too.

  “Helen.” In his courtly way, Edward rose to kiss the socialite on the cheek and shake Harry’s hand. She gazed at Edward’s companions with an eager glint in her eye. “Won’t you introduce us?”

  “Of course,” he said, and smoothly did the honors, making it seem as if this was a mere gathering of old friends. Somehow, the photos of Nancy had vanished under a napkin. Edward also managed to give the subtle impression that Rona was with Louis.

  Rona, no dummy, must have realized what Edward had done. The moment the couple walked away, she was on Edward’s case. “What was that all about?”

  “Helen is the cha
irwoman of the Junior League. She and my wife were close friends, and she’s Celia’s godmother. You can be sure she’ll call her the moment she goes outside.”

  “Then what? Will your daughter demand you be in by curfew? Have you declared incompetent and put in a nursing home?” Rona’s tone was strident.

  “Maybe I gave the wrong impression, but I didn’t mean any disrespect by it. I am not ready to tell my daughter about you.”

  “That’s not good enough.”

  “What do you want from me?” Edward asked, almost plaintively. Louis rolled his eyes. Susan held her breath.

  “I want you to proudly acknowledge that you and I are dating. If one of your daughters doesn’t like it, too bad. Have some gumption, will you?”

  Then she picked up her scarf, and dropped some money on the table. “I’m going home. Alone. You think about where this relationship is headed.”

  Louis and Susan looked at each other in dismay. He called, “Wait up!” and threw some cash down himself. In a few seconds, both had left the restaurant.

  Susan was left with Edward, who appeared shaken and uneasy.

  She remarked, “Well, that’s where Nancy gets her spunk.”

  ***

  Outside, Louis caught up with Rona, who had not slowed down for him as she stalked out. “Wait, Rona.”

  “I’m walking home, Louis. Maybe after a mile or two, I’ll be less furious.”

  “Why don’t you cut the guy a break? He’s spent his whole life lying. He’s a politician, for chrissake. You’re not going to suddenly bludgeon him into being open and forthright.”

  She heaved a big sigh. “You’re probably right.”

  “What’s the real problem? Is he more interested in Nancy right now than he is in you?”

  “I’ve been wondering about that. Maybe his original purpose in seeing me was to ease his overdeveloped conscience. Not to get back together with me now that he was free.”

  “All that great sex you’ve been having was accidental? No way.”

  “You know how I’ve always been, Louis. If it feels good, I do it. What man turns down a woman who offers him sex?”

  “So you misunderstood why Edward wanted to see you again?”

  She stopped walking and bowed her head. Her shoulders slumped. “Just because for twenty-five years I’ve secretly dreamed that he would come back to me doesn’t mean that he has. Not the way I hoped he would.”

  Louis put his arm around her. “Come on, that’s negative thinking. You gave him a major shock when you told him about Nancy. Now give him time to process.”

  They had already walked many blocks uptown. Most of the traffic was gone for the day except on the main arteries. Although the sidewalks weren’t crowded at this hour, they weren’t empty, either. Manhattan was always full of people going somewhere and doing something.

  “I’m a demanding bitch, aren’t I?” she smiled ruefully. “I’ve waited so long to be happy again. I want it so much I can taste it. He says he loves me, but he doesn’t talk about a future together. The more I push, the farther away Edward seems.” She shook her head.

  They walked another block before Louis said, “I say it’ll work out, but stop pressuring him. Let him come to you.”

  “I’ve already decided there will be no more sex for awhile,” Rona said.

  Louis said with admiration, “Nothing like cutting a man off to make him see the light. I’m available as a substitute.”

  “That’s sweet, but I’m cutting myself off, too. Sex with Edward has always been amazing.”

  Louis shook his head. “Hard to believe. He’s so conventional.”

  “Louis, trust me. Amazing. Love makes all the difference. It’s him or no one. Damn him.” Tears were gathering in her eyes and she forced them back.

  They kept walking. A brighter patch of the city was ahead of them.

  ***

  Bev couldn’t reach Todd on his cell, and the girls had answered the landline and said that Daddy wasn’t home. She’d even talked to her mother, who was staying with them. Shirley claimed not to know where Todd was. Bev cursed him. He was probably up to his old tricks, off having meaningless sex with some bimbo. It hadn’t been long after they were married when she figured Todd out. Oh, he loved her, all right. His dick just wanted other women. Because he was a doctor and a surgeon, Todd could easily meet lots of women he could impress. Despite her tears and his apologies and promises never to do it again, Todd continued to be unfaithful. She had gotten used to it, but he’d gone too far this time. He had a hell of a nerve to be indulging, considering all he had accused her of. Todd had always felt entitled to have as much sex as he wanted with as many women as possible. It was his least endearing quality. Where the hell was he?

  Chapter 22

  By Wednesday, Susan was seriously regretting her insistence on staying away from Michael. She had spent too many lonely nights without him. As difficult as it was to decide what to do about their attraction, she missed him desperately.

  He ambushed her outside her office building that same afternoon. He fell into step with her as she left. She was so surprised, she stopped walking.

  “We need to talk,” he said. He looked determined.

  “Michael, what are you doing here?”

  “I had to see you.”

  “We agreed to cool it down for a while,” she protested.

  “Your idea, not mine,” he denied. He took her hand and raised it to his mouth. The passionate yet discreet kiss he pressed on the flesh above her knuckles caused a fierce ripple of feeling throughout her body. “Whatever the problems are, we’ll work them out together.”

  Her breath caught and her eyes widened. She couldn’t speak.

  Michael saw his advantage and took it. He linked her arm in his and began steering her down the sidewalk.

  He’d obviously come straight from work. He wore a blue pinstripe suit. A typical New Yorker, he ignored red lights and walked them around oncoming cabs. Halfway across the street, she finally recovered her wits. “Wait, where are we going?”

  He never slowed his urgent pace. “An Argentine restaurant near here.”

  She was out of breath trying to keep up. His legs were longer than hers. He pushed her to go faster than was comfortable for her.

  “Why are we rushing?” He didn’t answer. She had to concentrate on not tripping as he practically dragged her down some steps and into a dark, nearly empty restaurant. It was too early for the dinner crowd, so they had the place to themselves. Michael chose a secluded booth in the back and sat next to her, crowding her. He quickly gave their drink orders. Once they came, he waved the waiter away firmly. His eyes never left her.

  “What is it?” she asked, ruffled from her exertion and from his forceful handling of her. What had gotten into him?

  He took her hands in his and looked in her eyes intently. “Why don’t you trust me? I haven’t given you any reason to fear I’ll hurt you.”

  “But I—”

  “Damn your talk of your husband and your conscience,” he said forcefully. “You’ve repeatedly used them as a shield, yet every time I touch you, you respond. Your body never hesitates. I want your mind, too. Why do you keep fighting me?”

  “I do trust you,” she protested.

  “Don’t lie to me.” He was deadly serious.

  Why had she thought she could make all the rules? He was a man, regardless of their age difference. Despite his civilized mien, he wanted to take their relationship to the natural conclusion. Making love. Having sex. Whatever.

  She gave him a mirthless smile. “How do you guess these things?” She toyed with her water glass. Finally, she sighed. “All right. It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s me. I don’t seem to have any control of my actions or my emotions when I’m with you. But I’m still technically married and I can’t seem to get past the idea that I ought not take that fatal step over the line into a new relationship with you,” she admitted.

  She played with her drink, looking at it,
not at Michael.

  He sat back, pushing his drink aside. He studied her unhappy face and her nervously clenched hands in her lap. He wasn’t going to let her squirm away from the truth.

  She struggled to go on, torturing and tearing at the napkin.

  He put his hand on hers to still her motions.

  His touch stopped the trembling that was building inside. She looked into his eyes then, and found the courage to finish. “Being with you intimately has been a revelation.” A blush heated her cheeks and she could feel a sexual response growing elsewhere. Her eyes surely revealed how tortured she felt. “Yet how can I turn my back on my husband? He has given me everything, a home, children, devotion.”

  He frowned. After a minute, he said, “A man wants a woman who responds to him passionately. Not gratitude and toleration.”

  His words were a dash of cold water. So much for her noble sentiments. Had she wandered into self-pity yet again? Was she deluding herself about her motives for resisting Michael?

  She buried her face in her hands. “I’m such a coward.” The words came out muffled.

  “Not so. You’re a brave woman.” His fingers caressed the nape of her neck soothingly.

  She was behaving so inappropriately in a public place. She made herself sit up straight. “I’m sorry.” She pulled a tissue from her purse and blew her nose.

  Michael looked thoughtful. He took a drink and contemplated the middle distance for a few minutes. After a while, he spoke.

  “Okay. I get it. You need time to realize that what we have is too important to let go.”

  With that, he turned the course of the evening. He had lost his half-angry look of earlier. Once more, he became the perfect companion, speaking soothing words and making light comments to pull her up from her down mood. She responded to his change of direction.

  After they finished dinner, he still wanted to be with her. “Want to go on the Staten Island Ferry?”

  “Why not?” She managed a tentative smile.

  At night on the ferry they could see the impressive lights of the Verrazano Narrows Bridge up close. They soon found a relatively private nook outside and enjoyed the wind caused by the ferry’s motion. She leaned up against the railing while Michael stood behind her, one hand one either side of her holding the wooden rail. She felt enclosed and safe. Almost happy.