Lee

by Sydney Landon

  He raised a brow, twirling the pen in his fingers. “I always knew you had claws under that calm exterior,” he murmured.

  “And I was certain you were a dickhead beneath the whole iceman persona. Looks as if we were both right, huh, boss?” I smirked. At that point, I didn’t even know the woman spouting insults at the man she loved anymore. I’d never been so disrespectful to anyone before in my life, and it was both scary and strangely exhilarating. I’d opened the gates, and it was hard to stop the flow of catty comments, so I didn’t even try. I perched on the corner of his desk and began shifting items around on the immaculate surface. I knew well how much he hated disorder, and I grinned inwardly as his eye twitched slightly at the mess I made. I was tempted to knock his half-empty cup of coffee over, but I wasn’t quite that brave. He would’ve probably strangled me for that offense. “This gangster vibe you’re rocking might turn all the other women on, but I’ve always felt it was a little absurd. I mean, The Sopranos have already been done to death. Couldn’t you have come up with something more original?”

  He was out of his chair so fast I barely tracked the movement. I was pulled from his desk and slammed into the hard wall of his chest. “You have no idea who you’re playing games with, little girl,” he gritted out. “I could show you a monster so fucking ugly that you’d never be able to close your eyes in the dark again. Is that what you want? For me to poison every part of your life until I’ve destroyed you? Because you’re naïve if you don’t think it would come to that. You don’t have a goddamned clue what I’ve done without blinking a fucking eye or what I’m capable of doing.” I expected him to be rough, but when he took my face in his hands, he was gentle as if I was made of glass. “You’ve been closer to me than anyone other than Pete. But unlike him, I’ve sheltered you from the real me. And maybe that was a mistake.” He ran a finger across my lips, and they parted almost of their own violation. “You’re a beautiful woman, and I’ve always been attracted to you. I have no idea where this absurd and inaccurate opinion that you have of yourself came from, but it’s bullshit. You have no clue how tempted I’ve been to throw caution to the wind and give us both what we want.”

  Drowning in the desire in his eyes, I whispered huskily, “Then do it. Stop trying to protect me. I’m not who you think I am.” That last part was as close to a confession as I’d ever been, but he didn’t know that. He thought I was saying I was some sort of closet bad girl who was up for whatever he unleashed. Maybe he was right about that, but sadly it didn’t mean that, and I wasn’t brave enough to go any further with my revelations. I couldn’t live in a world where he hated me. I wasn’t that strong.

  He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me angrily. He was tempted. I felt it. It was also impossible to miss the bulge of his hard cock pressing into my stomach. Knowing he desired me was a heady kind of power. Regardless of everything else, he wasn’t lying when he said he wanted me. I moaned, attempting to get closer. And for a moment, he allowed it. We were both lost as his lips devoured mine and his hands on my ass pulled me tightly against him. The ache inside me was sweet agony. I was ready to beg him to take me, but before I could make a total fool of myself, he pulled back abruptly, putting distance between us. “Fuck,” he gritted through clenched teeth. “Fucking hell! I can’t think when I’m touching you.” He sounded bewildered, as if I’d cast some type of spell on him, which was absurd since it was the exact opposite.

  “Don’t stop,” I whispered shamelessly, still holding on to a shred of hope that this could work out. I stepped forward and went up onto my toes to wrap my arms around his neck. “If you want me, then for once, show me. I can’t keep going the way we have been. I deserve more than this.”

  I knew I’d said the wrong thing when his eyes closed briefly before opening again. The sad resignation broke my heart. I’m not sure how I could lose something that I never really had, but it happened. He brushed a kiss onto my forehead in a gesture so tender that it slayed me. “You’re absolutely right, little bird. You should never settle for a man like me. You’re goodness and light, and I’m nothing but darkness. Even if I turned over a new leaf today, it wouldn’t matter. My soul will always be tainted black from the things I’ve done. And I refuse to let that seep over onto you.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. I’ve never been who I appear to be. I’m closer to the color of night than you could imagine.” He probably thought I was lying to get what I wanted. What he didn’t realize was that this was in fact my truth. If I said my father’s name right then, would it have made a difference? After all this time, would he even know the man who hated him so very much? People came and went from Lee’s life every day. Even a man as intelligent as he was would have to lose sight of some after a while. Especially ones he didn’t label as a threat. To him, it would have only been business, but to my father, it had been anything but. I’d been around long enough to know that for every big winner in corporate America, there must be a loser. Every positive needed a negative. It is the balance of most things in life. My father was simply on the wrong side of the equation. When I’d gone to work for Lee, I’d expected to find the very monster he proclaimed himself to be. And he was single-minded when he wanted something. But he was also fair. More so than my father ever would have been. He weighed the odds and impact of acquisitions very carefully before he pursued them. Heck, most of the companies he’d taken over still retained their original board members and they spoke in glowing terms of Lee. And why wouldn’t they? He made their broken corporations profitable again, in turn lining their pockets along with his. I must admit, it had been damned confusing for the longest time. I’d expected one thing, but had gotten another. Hence my initial crush, then my unrequited love for the complex man before me.

  “I believe we have very different opinions on what constitutes good and bad, sweetheart,” he said ruefully. “I don’t think your occasional use of profanity and borrowing office supplies qualifies you for hell.”

  My face colored as I remembered the pack of pens I’d taken home the week before. In my defense, I mostly used them for work I did after hours, but still… damn. The man truly knew everything. “I’ll have you know those were the cheap plastic ones, and I used them to proofread those contracts.” I rolled my eyes before pointing at the stack of papers in his letter tray.

  He grinned as he tweaked my nose. “I was kidding, but the fact you confessed so easily just proves my point. You’d never be able to handle the pressure of my world.”

  I jab a finger in his chest and smiled when he winced. “We’re hardly dodging gunfire up here, Lee. And as far as I know, your penthouse hasn’t been so much as robbed since I’ve worked for you. What exactly am I supposed to be frightened of? Have you stiffed your cleaning lady? Is she going to beat me with her vacuum cleaner? Will the window washer attempt to drown me in a moment of madness because you left a smudge on the tinted glass in the lobby?” Snapping my fingers, I add sarcastically, “Oh I know, the security guard is pissed because you didn’t ask about the newest addition to his family. Dammit, how could you have been so rude! He’ll probably slug me with that handheld scanner now. Or maybe Lia is tired of having a gangster for a daddy? That’s totally understandable. If she’s going to send someone after me, I sincerely hope it’s her hot hubby, Lucian. Mmm, do you think he’d use handcuffs? I bet he could take the light right outta me.”

  Lee’s mouth dropped open, and he looked downright shocked and a tad offended. Maybe I’d gone a little too far in objectifying his son-in-law, but really, he deserved it. Plus, Lucian was a stud, so it hadn’t been a lie. I didn’t bother adding that I found Lee far more attractive than his daughter’s husband. The man had a big enough ego already. He reached out and gripped my arm. His hold was firm but not enough to be painful. He glared daggers at me when he snapped, “So, you fancy Quinn?”

  I had started that train wreck so I bravely plowed on. “Who wouldn’t?” I winked. “You should think of using a better word than fancy, though. T
hat’s a bit outdated. These days, we prefer something like smoking or yummy. Of course, after a few drinks, they get a lot more descriptive. I guess that’s not something they cover in your AARP newsletter, though. You’re so lucky you have me to help you out.”

  “Oh, really now?” he purred. The voice in my head was screaming for me to shut the hell up, but when had I ever listened to that annoying bitch? If I had, I wouldn’t be in this mess now. “How fortunate for me indeed. Thanks for showing this old man the error of his ways. That’s so thoughtful of you, Liza. Granted, I’ve never had an occasion to need such a descriptive overview of Lucian’s appearance, but it was nice of you to so thoroughly provide one for me.”

  I grin uneasily, determined to see this through no matter how badly it’s bound to go. “No problem, dude. We’re pals, right?” Dear God, had I actually called him dude and pal? He blinks rapidly a few times as if unable to believe the shit coming out of my mouth either. I attempt to give him my best seductive smile. “Don’t worry, I’ve always been attracted to older men. You’re plenty hot enough to me.” I narrow my eyes, looking at him closely. “It’s hard to tell, considering the color, but I don’t think you have any gray hair yet. Plus, you easily pass for late forties.”

  There went that twitch again. For a man who I’d always believed above such things, he seemed sensitive about the whole age thing. Which was laughable, considering he could be mistaken for a thirty-year-old. “I’m forty-five,” he gritted out. “It’s kind of you to say that I only look a few years older than that.” He released his hold on me to put a hand behind his head, rubbing his neck. “Again, I must ask, what in the hell has gotten into you today? If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you’re not the same person who walked in the door this morning. Did you have a few drinks at lunch? Hell, did you smoke a joint in the stairwell? I won’t even lecture you; it would be a relief to have some sort of explanation.”

  I pat his muscular arm sympathetically. “Sorry, buddy. None of the above. Although I might do both of those things later.” And that was a strong possibility. How else would I deal with my soon-to-be unemployed state and the loss of the man I hated leaving? Not that he’d ever been mine to start with, but at least there had been mutual respect. By the time this was over, that would be out the window as well. “I think I have suffered some kind of breakdown brought on by my years of being strung along by you. Have you ever stopped to consider what that can do to a woman? You dangle your sexiness over my head, then when I’m all in, you pull it back and list all the reasons why we’re not compatible. Can’t you just admit that you’re simply not that into me? Wouldn’t honesty be the best policy here?” Oh brother, I’m preaching to him about being honest? Heck, I have a hard time not lying to him about what I had to for lunch. Deception has become second nature to me now.

  “Liza, you know that’s not it. I’m extremely attracted to you. You’re also aware why it can go no further than a business relationship between us.” He’s frustrated again. What man wants to have this kind of talk? Naturally, he’d rather throw himself out the window than endure this hell. I almost feel sorry for him and start making excuses.

  I wanted to back down; I really did. I didn’t want to quit my job and walk away from Falco—or Lee. But hadn’t this been inevitable since the beginning? We’d always been on borrowed time. Admittedly, I thought it would end another way, so going out on my own terms—even if they were insane—seemed better than having him discover my true identity. No one played Lee for a fool and got away with it. He might have some type of complicated feelings for me, but those would all go away in the blink of an eye when he discovered what I’d done. So I square my shoulders, clear my overly dry throat, and say, “I’m over all this drama. This job is entirely too demanding, and if you have nothing to offer along with it, then I’ll need more time to get a life. I’ll even make the arrangements with a staffing agency for someone to fill in until you’ve decided on a replacement.”

  His eyes drill into me, and his mouth moves, but no sound escapes for what seems like an hour. I’m shifting uncomfortably on my feet, ready to wrap myself around his feet and beg him to forgive me. Finally, he says, “You’re not talking about a long vacation, are you?”

  Again, he’s given me the perfect out, but I can’t back down now. “No, I’m not.”

  And then he absolutely crushed me. I know it was just the stubborn part of his personality, but instead of begging me to stay, he turned his back and walked behind his desk. His blank mask and air of control perfectly in place as he simply nodded. “As you will, Liza. Take care of things, then submit your official resignation. I’ll see that you’re compensated adequately.” He took his seat and appeared engrossed in his computer. I know that move well. I’ve seen him do it time and again when he wants rid of someone. He’s dismissing me, and it fucking hurts because he’s never done that to me before. It’s as if a stake has been driven through my heart. I’m no longer in the inner circle. I’m an outsider, and I’ve made it happen. It’s better this way, I try to convince myself. Wouldn’t I rather be ignored than hated? I knew this would be hard, but I hadn’t realized until this exact moment how much it would hurt. He kissed me, and even that changed nothing. How can he say he’s attracted to me, touch my skin, kiss my lips, and then moments later, show me the door? How? A stranger would soon sit at my desk and spend hours a week with the incredible man before me. He’ll eventually get comfortable with her, and they’ll form a bond as we have. She’ll be a part of Falco, and I’ll be a distant memory. The crazy assistant who fell for the boss, then left after having an emotional breakdown.

  Before I embarrassed myself by crying in front of him, I left his office. I made a note to call the staffing agency on Monday morning, but it never happened. Lee made arrangements for Kara to fill in, and I never returned to Falco. I never returned to see his handsome face, hear his voice that could make my heart race, or marvel at his brilliance beside him. I lost my job at Falco, but in reality, I lost much more. Apart from my dignity. It had been sweet torture working for Lee Jacks, but it was him I truly missed. I still do.

  I don’t need to work. I have plenty of money in my bank account thanks to my mother. But I’ve never been good with idle time. I’m already a freaking basket case, so I know I need to do something. I just need to figure out what. Die of a broken heart and eventually be eaten by Rufus? Yeah, right now that’s the front-runner. I sleep with my bedroom door closed, not trusting the furry animal that I outweigh by… well a lot. The way my luck is going, the bastard probably has a shitload of friends waiting by the back door to help a brother out.

  2

  Lee

  “What the fuck do you mean, you don’t know?” I snap. Jenkins, my head of security, shifts uneasily in his chair as sweat begins to dot his forehead. “How complicated can it possibly be to get a goddamned background report on someone? She worked here for two years, and she lives in the area. Her fucking barista at Starbucks probably knows more about her than you do.” I toss the report across my desk and roll my eyes when it lands on the floor. Kara will be pissed if someone doesn’t pick that shit up, so I glare at Jenkins until he lumbers awkwardly to his knees and gathers the useless information.

  “Something’s not right with her, boss,” he stutters uneasily. “It’s like she didn’t exist until she came to work for you. None of her bank accounts, credit cards, or anything go back longer than two years. She simply appeared out of thin air, took this job, then came to life. Before that, there’s not a trace. No tie-ins to anything or anyone.” It pisses me off further that he seems so damned impressed that my former assistant is essentially a ghost.

  “Was she fucking vetted at all before we hired her? I know that Sears was an idiot, but I assumed he’d at least done some part of his job.”

  “I checked her security clearance, and it’s um… well, there’s not really much in it. Just her authorization for the background search. I don’t see the usual backup paperwork where it was conducted
.”

  “She was getting a paycheck, so trace that back to her social security number,” I point out slowly as if talking to a child. Why do I bother to employ people to do this shit if it falls back on my lap? I wonder idly if Kara will be interested in taking over that department as well. She’ll certainly do a much better job. But even I don’t have the balls to suggest it to my niece. She’s still ticked at me over running off the last assistant. Is it my fault the woman couldn’t handle a little constructive criticism? The world is literally full of pussies now.

  His face flushes as he says, “I already thought of that, boss. That’s one of the first things I did, but that’s a dead end as well.”

  When he doesn’t elaborate, I clench my fists to keep from planting one in his fucking face. Is everyone around me deliberately obtuse? Maybe this is fuck with your boss day, and I wasn’t told. “And?” I inquire mildly. Anyone who knows me would be pissing his or her pants right about now. Weirdly enough, grouchy, loud Lee is almost always better than agreeable Lee. I go into some freakish Zen-like zone when I’m truly angry. It’s lethal. Like the way the winds die right before a tornado strikes. The back building of energy. “Explain.” I stare at the paperclips on the corner of my desk, thinking I could kill him with one and he’d never see it coming. The idea is so tempting that I firmly talk myself out of it. Mentally. You know Pete and Kara will be disappointed if you do something so stupid in the office. I’d guess that goes firmly under the heading, don’t shit where you sleep or, in this case, work.