Colonel Fitzwilliam's Dilemma

by Wendy Soliman

  “I like Mrs. Darcy,” Anne said, showing great daring she was unaware she possessed. In danger of incurring her mother’s ire, she persevered, mainly because Mama had never spoken to her so frankly before and Anne thought it important to show she did have a mind of her own. “And I believe she makes Mr. Darcy happy.”

  Mama snorted. “For now, perhaps, but it will not last, and he will then be at leisure to regret his foolishness. But enough of the Darcys. I never thought I would have occasion to remind you of your duty but it seems I was wrong about that. And now I need you to assure me that you will accept Fitzwilliam when he offers for you. Only if I have your word will I permit Mr. Asquith to remain for a moment longer.”

  Anne paused, sorrow and resignation twisting her insides into a vicious knot of disappointment because she knew she had no real choice in the matter. “Yes, Mama,” she replied, suppressing a sigh which nevertheless managed to slip past her guard. “Of course I will behave as you expect me to.”

  ***

  Joshua awoke to a sky heavy with dark clouds that threatened rain. However, it was not raining for now, which was all that mattered to him. He broke his fast early and was out on horseback long before the hour when he had agreed to meet Mrs. Sheffield. She had insisted Joshua not call for her at Briar Hall and excite the interest of her sister. Joshua had willingly agreed and now walked his horse around the spinney that separated the two estates, anxious with anticipation. He felt like a callow youth about to confront an attractive lady for the first time rather than the seasoned campaigner he actually was.

  Ye gods, Celia Sheffield had a lot to answer for.

  He heard her approaching before he actually saw her, which gave him a moment to quell his ridiculous nerves. He raised a hand in greeting when a pretty bay mare appeared on the path ahead of him, with Mrs. Sheffield perched elegantly on a sidesaddle. She wore a form-fitting pale blue velvet habit with matching hat that sported a whimsical plume. Significantly, she was alone, no groom in sight. Joshua took that to be an encouraging sign.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Sheffield.” Joshua raised his hat.

  “Good morning, Colonel. I trust you have not been waiting for long.”

  “I only just this moment arrived myself.” He turned his horse in the opposite direction. “If we go this way, we will reach the folly on the top of the hill. It is quite a climb, but the view makes the effort worthwhile.”

  “It is not us who will be making the effort,” she replied, patting her mare’s neck. “But I have often wished to see that folly, and Molly is keen to stretch her legs.”

  “Well then, we are agreed.”

  They rode side by side in silence as the horses commenced the upward incline. Joshua cast sideways glances at his fair companion, feeling ridiculously privileged to have her to himself. She looked fresh this morning, but there was evidence of strain around her eyes, as though she had not slept well.

  “Darcy and I spent hours playing in these woods as boys,” he said. “We set up camps, enlisted boys from the farms to our respective sides, and plotted to breach one another’s headquarters.”

  Mrs. Sheffield’s smile lit up her eyes, banishing the sadness that had resided there. “So you were a soldier in the making even then.”

  “Perhaps I was. The alternatives were the church or the law. Neither appealed. Besides, wearing a red coat held a certain appeal to a young man who did not understand the brutal realities of soldiering.”

  “And yet you rose to the rank of colonel.”

  “Indeed.”

  “Seldom have I met a gentleman better suited to soldiering than you are.”

  “How can you tell? You barely know me.”

  “Oh, I can tell. I have led a very active life and had a lot of contact with military men over the years.”

  Joshua laughed. “You make yourself sound as old as the hills.”

  She wrinkled her nose. “I feel that way sometimes.”

  “A positive old crone,” Joshua said, laughing at her.

  “Thank you, but I was not fishing for a compliment when I made that remark.”

  “Certainly, I am aware of that but nonetheless the situation calls for plain speaking. I am sure you don’t need me to tell you that your presence here is like a breath of fresh air.”

  Mrs. Sheffield shot him a sideways look. “With such charming manners, I find it hard to believe you are still unmarried. I feel persuaded more than one young lady must have set her cap at you before now.”

  “Since we appear to be speaking frankly, you might as well know I am a younger son.”

  “Yes, I thought that must be the case. You are obliged to make your own way and marry for money.”

  “If I marry at all.”

  “You definitely should,” she replied, sending him a shrewd glance. “You would do a disservice to my sex by remaining single.”

  “Now, it is my turn to assure you I was not looking for compliments.”

  “And mine to confess I already knew your circumstances. My sister, you understand. You are Lord Braithwaite’s younger son, are you not?”

  “Yes. But my father died some years ago. My brother now holds that title.”

  She offered him a wry smile. “You do not think highly of your brother?”

  “Good heavens, your sister is well informed.”

  Mrs. Sheffield’s laughter filled the air. “No, not my sister this time. You just gave yourself away. You looked to the left when you mentioned your brother and a look of extreme distaste crossed your face.”

  “Ah well, there you have me. I can see I shall have to guard my expressions more closely while in your company.”

  “For my part, I hope you do not.”

  Their conversation came to a halt when the path narrowed and they were obliged to ride in single file, with Joshua leading the way. He glanced back to ensure Mrs. Sheffield was keeping up with him, impressed with the easy way in which she handled her mare. It was clear she was no stranger to the saddle. Her balance was precise, her seat elegant, her hands light on the reins.

  “I can see that you really do enjoy being on horseback,” he said when they were able to ride side by side again. He watched her as she steered her mare around a rut in the path, still wondering what to make of her previous comment and how to respond to it. “You certainly ride well.”

  “Thank you. I enjoy being outdoors. While I have been here it has been frustrating not to be able to ride without a groom. We are in the country, so it ought not to matter, but frustratingly I don’t know the lie of the land and it would be so easy to get lost. My sister does not ride and Lord Briar doesn’t have the time to oblige me.”

  “Ah, I see.” Joshua sent her a smile of mock reproach. “Now I understand why you accepted my offer. And there was I thinking it was my sparkling wit and engaging personality that attracted you.”

  She hooted with laughter and Joshua found her uninhibited personality refreshing. “Colonel Fitzwilliam, I hope you do not expect me to respond to such an infamous remark.”

  Joshua laughed as well. “Forgive me, Mrs. Sheffield. I cannot imagine what came over me. However, I blame you.”

  “Me?”

  “Indeed you. Your outspokenness appears to have rubbed off on me.”

  “Oh no, you must do better than that if you wish to impress me.”

  “I certainly wish to do that, and so I shall reapply myself.”

  They reached the top of the hill, Mrs. Sheffield looked around and gasped. “This is wonderful! Thank you so much for bringing me here. One can see for miles.”

  “It’s the wrong weather for it. As you can see, the dark clouds are rolling in and we shall have the promised rain. On a clear day, it is so much more worth the effort of coming up here.” He threw his leg over the pommel of his saddle and jumped gracefully to the ground. He secured his horse’s reins to prevent them being trodden on and turned him loose to crop at the thin grass. “Shall we walk?”

  Joshua reached up his hands, placed them o
n Mrs. Sheffield’s waist, and lifted her down. He paused when her face was on a level with his. Drinking in the sight of her lovely features, her skin slightly flushed from the exertion of the ride, he was slow to place her on her feet. Their gazes locked and a strange feeling gripped Joshua—a premonition, a sun responding to a gravitational pull—something. She felt it, too. He could tell as much by the way her sculpted lips formed a perfect ‘O’ and suspected that the deeper colour now invading her cheeks had nothing to do with their recent exercise.

  “There we are.”

  His voice sounded thick and raw as he turned his attention to her mare. Satisfied the horses could not stray far, he offered Mrs. Sheffield his arm, and they slowly strolled along the crest of the hill. She continued to admire the view, exclaiming every so often as Joshua pointed out landmarks to her. Joshua preferred to admire his companion rather than the vista opening up beneath them, willing the rain to hold off and time to stand still.

  “You can see the entire layout of the Pemberley house,” Joshua said, pointing in the appropriate direction.

  “My goodness, it is extensive.”

  “It certainly is.”

  “I hear Lady Catherine was set upon combining Pemberley and her own estate in Kent.”

  “Yes, but as soon as Darcy met his wife, there was not the slightest possibility of that ever happening.”

  “Oh dear, that cannot have pleased Lady Catherine. She seems like a lady who is accustomed to having her own way.”

  “That is certainly true, and she has sufficient wealth and consequence to ensure most people do as she wishes.”

  “But not her nephew, it seems.”

  “My aunt failed to take into account that Darcy inherited the same stubborn streak as Lady Catherine’s from his mother, Lady Catherine’s sister.”

  “I was not referring specifically to Mr. Darcy.”

  “Ah, I see.”

  But Joshua did not see—not precisely. Who had Lady Catherine told about her expectation of Joshua wedding Anne? It seemed unlikely she would speak about it, especially to strangers, until terms had been agreed. There again, perhaps she sensed Joshua’s reluctance and was trying to make it happen by openly implying it was all but settled. Either way, it was clear Mrs. Sheffield knew, or suspected. So why was she here with him now?

  “And what of your own plans, Mrs. Sheffield? How long do you intend to remain in Derbyshire?”

  She sent him a teasing smile. “Are you tired of my society already, Colonel?”

  “Quite the contrary, I do assure you, but I understood you inherited an estate from your husband.”

  “Yes, in Buckinghamshire.” Her laughter abruptly faded. “But I have no immediate plans to return there.”

  “Your husband made his fortune in Jamaica, I collect.”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you enjoy living there?”

  Mrs. Sheffield absently plucked a leaf from a bush as she considered the question. “At first, but I soon became homesick.”

  “I understand. I have spent some time on the island myself and confess I found it rather limiting after a while. If you enjoy riding, and you clearly do, I can understand why living in Jamaica would have been frustrating. As you said last evening, you cannot ride out alone and it’s usually too hot to ride at all.”

  “Precisely.”

  They had reached the end of the path and paused to admire a different prospect. “You and Mr. Asquith met one another in Jamaica I imagine,” Joshua suggested as they turned to retrace their steps.

  Her entire body tensed. “Why ever would you think that?”

  “Tell me to mind my own business if you like, but if we are to be friends I would prefer it if you did not prevaricate. I am a colonel, Mrs. Sheffield, a leader of men. It is my job to recognise, or at least suspect when things are not all they seem to be.”

  “You take a very great interest in my affairs, Colonel.”

  He covered the hand that rested on his sleeve with one of his own hands and was slow to remove it again. “Yes,” he said. “I do. You must forgive me but I cannot seem to help myself. I know you are in trouble, have anxieties that keep you from your own property, and if I can be of service in any way you have but to say the word.”

  She swallowed several times, and Joshua thought her eyes appeared moist. “Thank you,” she said softly. “I was not aware I was in such very great need of a confidante, until now.”

  “You are assured of one with me if you will honour me with your trust.”

  They walked in contemplative silence for several minutes. Joshua was unsure whether he had overstepped the mark. No, that was not precisely true. He knew that he had. In fact the tenor of their entire conversation had not exactly been correct. It had however felt exactly right. What was less sure was whether Mrs. Sheffield would turn away from him or look to him for the help she clearly needed. There was nothing more he could say or do to persuade her and so he remained silent. It was now up to her.

  “Mr. Asquith and I are acquainted,” she said eventually, “but we do not choose to advertise the fact. There was nothing improper about our relationship in Jamaica, but for reasons I cannot share with you, we prefer others not to know it.”

  “In which case, you can rely upon my discretion.”

  “Again, I am indebted to you.” She stepped around a rut in the path. “That is why I was so keen not to take part in the play Mr. Asquith is producing and why he did not wish me to be a part of it. I understand he has made alternative arrangements to fill the vacant role.”

  “You dislike one another so much that you cannot bear to be in the same room?” Joshua flexed a brow. “Now I am really intrigued.”

  “You read too much into that particular situation.”

  “What business was your husband in? What took him to Jamaica is what I am asking I suppose?”

  “Oh, the usual. He and his younger brother were involved in the exportation of sugar.”

  “He had his own plantation?”

  “Yes. He was known to Sir Marius Glover, Mr. Asquith’s mentor, which is how I come to know Mr. Asquith.”

  “But there is a very great deal more to your acquaintanceship than that I think. Your husband died in Jamaica.”

  “Yes, a fever went around and he unfortunately caught it.”

  Again, Joshua was convinced she was holding something back. She certainly didn’t appear to mourn her husband genuinely. “I am very sorry,” he said.

  “And the correct response would be for me to say I am too, but it would be untrue.” She flashed a brittle smile. “My husband was a bully and a tyrant and I would be a hypocrite if I pretended to be sorry he was dead. If we are to be friends, Colonel Fitzwilliam, I ought to be able to trust you with that secret at least.”

  “It is refreshing to hear you admit it, Mrs. Sheffield, and you can certainly trust me with as many of your secrets as you are willing to share.”

  “You make me sound as though I am leading a double life.”

  “I assume your family persuaded you to marry him since it is clear you did not do so voluntarily.”

  “Yes, he was a charming gentleman from a good, if impoverished family, and my father thought well of him. I had neither the will nor inclination to go against my father’s wishes and so we were married. With the benefit of my dowry, Albert and his brother became involved in Jamaica.”

  “His brother is still alive?”

  “Unfortunately, yes.”

  “And living on your estate in Buckinghamshire?”

  “Precisely.”

  “I see.”

  And this time he did, to a degree. The brother was at least as loathsome as the dead husband, and probably had designs upon Mrs. Sheffield. However, she was no longer the subject of parental dictate and wished to have nothing to do with him. Be that as it may, the property obviously belonged to her and she ought not to be afraid to occupy it. Joshua was filled with a violent need to be of service to Mrs. Sheffield, and wondered how to make t
he suggestion. Before he could think of a way, a fat raindrop bounced off the brim of his hat. He glanced up and noticed a black cloud directly overhead. He had been so entranced by Mrs. Sheffield’s engaging company that he had not noticed the weather closing in. He stripped off his coat, held it over her head, and together they rushed for the shelter of the folly.

  By the time they reached it, Joshua, now in waistcoat and shirtsleeves, was soaking wet. Mrs. Sheffield, with the protection of his coat, had fared a little better. Even so, the plume on her hat wilted across her face, bedraggled and probably ruined. She blew it out of her eyes, and then laughed.

  “Thank you,” she said, moving from beneath the protection of his coat. “That was kind of you, and now you are soaked through.”

  “Better I should be, than you.”

  “How very gallant.” She crossed her arms over her torso and hugged herself, laughing as she watched the rain pounding onto the hard earth. “I love rain. We had a lot of it in Jamaica, but that was tropical rain of course. Not the same thing at all.”

  Joshua stood directly behind her, somehow managing not to touch her. God’s teeth, but it was a hard temptation to resist! Never had he felt a greater urge to embrace a woman. Never had circumstances conspired to make it so easy and yet impossible. He wanted her to trust him, not fear his intentions. He wanted that trust very badly indeed.

  “Then I am glad to have been able to summon up a rainstorm for your enjoyment,” he said. “Unfortunately, it is unlikely to last for long. I can see clear skies directly behind the raincloud.”

  “Perhaps that is just as well. My sister will wonder what has become of me, and worry. Besides, my solicitor is due from London today. He has matters to discuss with me regarding Albert’s estate.”

  “Mrs. Sheffield.” Joshua removed his hat and ran a hand through his damp hair, unsure how to phrase what was on his mind, aware he ought not to but unable to help himself. “I know you have difficulties. I know they somehow have to do with Asquith and your brother-in-law. We are virtual strangers but I feel as though I have known you for a long time.”