Colonel Fitzwilliam's Dilemma

by Wendy Soliman

  “I find you interesting.”

  His back was still turned towards her, and he spoke so quietly Anne could not be sure she had heard him correctly. Her heart soared but she told herself not to be foolish. She was upset and he was trying to make her feel better. She had probably read more into his words than he had intended by them, perhaps because they were what she so desperately wanted to hear. The thought of disobeying her mother terrified her, and she simply could not contemplate such a daring action—unless her future was with Mr. Asquith. That would put a very different light on matters. She loved him with a deep passion that overrode all other considerations.

  But it was impossible to believe he could love her in return.

  He was a fortune hunter, albeit a charming and agreeable one. Unless he could convince her his feelings mirrored her own, then she would never take the extreme measure of defying her mama. Ergo, she would most likely accept Colonel Fitzwilliam and make the best of it.

  “You are compassionate, thoughtful and kind,” he said softly, turning to face her again. “Do not let others dictate the way you live your life, Anne.”

  She gasped when he used her name. Never had it sounded sweeter as it slipped past his dear lips. She wanted him to say it again, to take her hand again and reiterate his advice. When he failed to speak, she felt compelled to fill the silence.

  “Thank you,” she stuttered inadequately. Lord, she was handling this all wrong. She must appear immature and maladroit to a man as sophisticated as he was.

  “Your mother would dismiss me on the spot if she heard what I just said to you.”

  “She will never hear it from me, but in return you must answer a question for me.”

  “Gladly.”

  “How well do you know Mrs. Sheffield?”

  “What makes you think I know her at all?”

  “You disappoint me, Mr. Asquith.” Anne shook her head. “I opened my heart to you, but you are unwilling to return the favour. I thought we were speaking as equals, not as tutor and pupil.”

  “I knew Mrs. Sheffield slightly when I was in Jamaica, but knew her husband rather better.”

  “Thank you.” She dredged up a smile, amazed at her own brazenness in forcing this conversation. “There, that was not so very difficult, was it? And yet last night you treated one another as strangers. Why would you do that?”

  “I will tell you about it one day, I promise you. But in the meantime I must ask you to keep what I have told you to yourself.”

  “You have not told me anything.”

  “I want to be your friend, Anne,” he said, his eyes burning with sincerity. “Not because of what you are, but because of who you are. There is a huge difference. Always remember my dear, in this world there is one man who does appreciate you for yourself, even if he is not in a position to do anything about it.”

  “Mr. Asquith.” Anne clapped a hand over her mouth, totally surprised. “Whatever can you mean by—”

  The door opened, Georgiana burst through it with a question for Mr. Asquith, and the opportunity to pose her question was lost. In retrospect, that was probably just as well.

  ***

  With the actors occupied in the ballroom, and the rest of their guests otherwise engaged, Will and Lizzy enjoyed a moment’s respite in front of the fire in Lizzy’s sitting room. His arm circled her shoulders as he held her close and rested his chin on the top of her head.

  “You look tired,” he said sympathetically.

  “Not tired precisely, but your aunt makes me anxious. All the time I sense her watching me and mentally criticising everything I do. Naturally, I don’t achieve anything as well as your mama did, and she congratulates herself on always having known I would pollute Pemberley by becoming its mistress.”

  “If she thinks that way, which I doubt, she knows better than to say so to me. Besides, she must sense she is very much in the minority. Everyone else here loves you.” Will removed his chin from the top of her head and fixed her with an intense gaze. “Especially me.”

  “You always know exactly the right thing to say.” Lizzy lifted one hand and ran a finger down the cleft in his chin. “Even so, I shall be glad when she is gone.”

  “Which won’t be until she gets her way and matters are settled between Fitzwilliam and her daughter.”

  “Then she will be with us for a long time.”

  Will placed a protective hand over the slight swell in Lizzy’s belly. “Whatever do you mean?”

  Lizzy laughed. “Honestly, you men are supposed to be the superior sex but you seldom see what is beneath your noses.”

  Will rested his forehead against hers, his eyes heavy-lidded and seductive. “What is it that you think you saw?”

  “I don’t think. I am perfectly sure. Your cousin is enamoured of Mrs. Sheffield.”

  Will appeared taken aback. “Good God, is he really?”

  “Few men would not be. She is very beautiful and if even half of what I hear is true, also of independent means. He will not be the first man to have set his cap at her since the death her of husband, of that I am perfectly sure.”

  “Even so, that doesn’t mean Fitzwilliam would—”

  “And he spent half the evening watching her across the dining table, then spent a long time in private conversation with her while we had music.”

  “Oh lord, you don’t think he plans to defy Lady Catherine’s wishes too?”

  “I think he might have been persuaded to go along with her wishes, although as I told you before, he was less than enthusiastic at the prospect. That is a great pity for Anne. I feel very sorry for her. It must be hard to be in her position, never knowing if she is admired for herself.”

  “Georgiana will be able to sympathise.”

  “Georgiana is an heiress, but not Pemberley’s heir.”

  Again, Will’s hand touched her belly. “Certainly she is not.”

  “I think Mr. Asquith has done his job a little too well, and your timid cousin is developing a mind of her own.”

  “I am very glad to hear it. Even so, I wish she would do it somewhere else.”

  Lizzy poked her husband in the ribs. “Don’t try to pretend you are not enjoying the drama almost as much as I am.”

  “I shall be sorry to see Lady Catherine discomposed again. When she is roused to anger, it is not a spectacle for the faint-hearted, and I don’t want you exposed to it. Not in your delicate condition. However, I also think Fitzwilliam ought to do what is right for him, and Anne too for that matter, regardless of the repercussions.” Will’s lips twisted into the parody of a smile. “It’s just I would prefer if they did it elsewhere and left us in peace to anticipate the arrival of our first child.”

  Lizzy flexed her brows. “Would that life was that simple.”

  “Where is Fitzwilliam now? Don’t tell me he has been dragged into Asquith’s play too.”

  “I happened to see him go out on horseback quite early this morning.” Lizzy sent her husband an impish smile. “I am willing to wager he left early to avoid Lady Catherine, and that he is escorting a certain female neighbour over the estate even as we speak. I happen to know Mrs. Sheffield is fond of riding.”

  “You like Mrs. Sheffield, do you not?”

  “Very much,” Lizzy replied without hesitation. “If she and your cousin were to…but what am I doing? It is absolutely none of my business.”

  “Romantic speculation is every lady’s business,” Will replied, running his forefinger gently down the curve of her face.

  “Only because we are not permitted to do anything important and have no better way to occupy our time.”

  “Running this house does not occupy you?”

  “Mrs. Reynolds pretends to need me, but she is only being kind. She and Simpson have the place running like clockwork. I hesitate to interfere.”

  “Are you suggesting you would take no interest in our friends’ romantic intentions if I asked for your help in running the estate?”

  Lizzy waved a hand
in vague agreement. “I would not give such matters another thought.”

  Will’s deep, throaty chuckle echoed through the room. “Then let me seize the moment while your mind is still veering in that direction and ask you about Turner. The last time he was here, Kitty was depressed because he had been summoned by his father, who intended to marry him off to some suitable woman. What happened?”

  “I have absolutely no idea.”

  “Lizzy!”

  She treated him to an innocent look. “But you have no interest in rumour and speculation.”

  “On the contrary, I thrive on the latest on dits. Besides, I bear some responsibility for your sister’s welfare while she is under this roof, and I would not see her anticipation unnecessarily excited if nothing is to come of it.”

  “My father was fond of telling us that next to being married, all young ladies enjoy being disappointed in love.”

  “Your father spoke in jest.”

  “Very possibly.”

  “So will you enlighten me or leave me to guess?”

  Lizzy laughed. “In other words you are as curious as I am but can’t bring yourself to admit it.” She lifted her head from its comfortable resting place on Will’s shoulder and placed a delicate kiss on his lips. “Very well, I will tell you what I know, which is precious little. I have not spoken to Captain Turner on the subject. It is really for him to discuss it with me if he feels the need. However, Kitty tells me he will not be marrying the lady his father chose for him. Whether he balked at the idea or the lady decided against the match, I cannot tell you since that is all Kitty knows herself.”

  “Well that is encouraging I suppose. It is evident he enjoys Kitty’s society, and she his. Let us hope for a happy outcome.”

  “Yes, by all means let’s hope for that. I want everyone to be as happy as we are.”

  “I hesitate to spoil any pleasure of yours but I fear that would be impossible. No man could be as fortunate in his choice of a wife or as content in his marriage as I am, Lizzy.” His fingers played with the escaped curls at her nape. “I am sorry if that makes me sound selfish, but there’s no help for that.”

  “Then I am selfish too. I feel exactly the same way and pity the rest of my sex since none of them are destined to be as happy as I am.”

  Booted footsteps rang out on the tiled floor of the vestibule. Lizzy glanced over her shoulder, through the open doorway and saw a dishevelled Colonel Fitzwilliam there, watching them embrace with a pensive expression on his face.

  “You look as though you were caught in the rain, Colonel,” she said, removing herself from Will’s arms. “Pray come and warm yourself in front of the fire and tell us about your morning.”

  “Idle curiosity?” Will whispered, raising an ironic brow at her.

  “I showed Mrs. Sheffield the folly,” he said, striding into the room and holding his hands out to the flames.

  Lizzy shot her husband a triumphant smile. “It is not the best day to appreciate the view.”

  “That is what I told Mrs. Sheffield.”

  “But the weather did not detract from your enjoyment?” Lizzy asked, smiling.

  “The weather did not,” the colonel replied, seating himself opposite Lizzy and Will, “but I am concerned about Mrs. Sheffield’s welfare.”

  “Why?” Will asked.

  Succinctly, the colonel outlined what he had learned of Mrs. Sheffield’s unhappy marriage and her disinclination to return to her own estate because her husband’s brother was in occupation of it.

  “Something unpleasant happened in Jamaica,” the colonel said in summary, “but Mrs. Sheffield either does not know the full particulars or is unwilling to share them with a comparative stranger. Either way, I am willing to wager her husband did not die of a fever.”

  “I got the impression she and Mr. Asquith are acquainted, even though they pretended otherwise,” Lizzy remarked.

  “They do know one another, but that is all I could persuade Mrs. Sheffield to say.” The colonel frowned. “The lady is out of her depth, in danger of being cheated, and I’m damned if I will stand back and allow that to happen. Oh, I beg your pardon. Please excuse my language, Mrs. Darcy.”

  “That’s perfectly all right, Colonel. I can see you are upset by the prospect, as I am. But what shall you do about it?”

  Colonel Fitzwilliam ground his jaw. “I have not yet decided. Mrs. Sheffield’s solicitor calls to see her this afternoon. I myself am engaged to call upon her again tomorrow, when I shall endeavour to gain her confidence.”

  “What of Lady Catherine, Fitzwilliam?” Will asked. “If you have definitely decided against Anne then you ought to tell her so and get the business out of the way.”

  “I shall not marry Anne, regardless of how things develop between Mrs. Sheffield and myself. I had my doubts before, for her sake as much as my own, but now I am perfectly sure. But you are right, I ought to tell our aunt of my decision sooner rather than later.”

  “Please let me know when you intend to do so, Colonel, and I shall make sure I am elsewhere,” Lizzy said, making them laugh and lightening the sombre mood.

  “Are you absolutely sure, Fitzwilliam?” Will asked. “Think of the benefits.”

  “Do you imagine I have not already done so? Lady Catherine has been dropping endless hints about her wishes ever since you and Mrs. Darcy married. I have had ample opportunity to reflect.” He paused to rub his chin in thoughtful contemplation. “If Anne was still the same frail, docile creature we are accustomed to seeing, with barely a word to say for herself, then I might well have gone ahead. But Asquith has had a very beneficial effect upon her and her personality has blossomed as a consequence. That changes everything.”

  “That is certainly true,” Lizzy said. “I do not know her nearly as well as you and Will do but I can see remarkable changes in her as well.”

  “Quite so. I don’t believe marriage to me would please her very much but she would go through with it for her mother’s sake if I was willing. I refuse to put her in that position.”

  “But Lady Catherine will choose her husband however noble your intentions, Fitzwilliam. She could finish up with someone far less sympathetic to her feelings than you are.”

  “Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Lizzy said. “I have a feeling Anne de Bourgh is only just starting to realise she has a mind and will of her own.”

  “God help us if Anne defies her mother too,” Will said, rolling his eyes.

  “I don’t relish the idea of your aunt not having her way, but at the same time I do feel very strongly that Anne is entitled to have some say in her future.”

  Will laughed. “Not all young ladies are as strong-minded as you are.”

  “Then I feel very sorry for them.”

  Their private conversation came to an end when Kitty and Georgiana joined them, laughing, faces flushed with excitement.

  “How go the rehearsals?” Lizzy asked.

  “I am Miss Dolores Downton,” Georgiana said with an exaggerated curtsey.

  “And I am Miss Dorothea,” Kitty added, curtseying also.

  “Anne is Daphne, and all three of us are enamoured of the same gentleman.”

  “Then the poor gentleman has my sympathy,” Lizzy replied laughing.

  “Save your sympathy, Lizzy, he is—”

  “No, Kitty, you must not tell. It is to be a surprise.”

  Lizzy shared a glance with Will. Neither of them had ever seen Georgiana quite so animated, or so quick to put herself forward before. It was clear Mr. Asquith’s theatrical production had the same effect upon her as his tutoring did upon Anne, causing both young ladies to feel less inhibited. Perhaps Lady Catherine knew what she was about after all. Then again she might have grossly underestimated her daughter’s reaction to the glamorous young man, thereby creating more difficulties than his presence solved.

  “Ah, that it is,” Kitty agreed. “Do not ask me a single thing more about it, Lizzy, in case I forget myself and reveal all.”
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  Lizzy laughed. “Now I am really intrigued.”

  “Mr. Asquith has us painting scenery,” Georgiana explained. “And we also have to remember our lines.”

  “It’s exhausting,” Kitty added, throwing herself into the nearest chair.

  “Then have the servants do it for you,” Will suggested.

  “Oh no.” Georgiana shook her head. “Where would be the sense of achievement in that?”

  “Well, it is almost time for luncheon,” Lizzy said, glancing at the clock and standing up. “I dare say a good meal will restore your energy.”

  Chapter Ten

  Torrential rain fell for the entire afternoon, but failed to dampen the spirits of Pemberley’s residents. The actors threw themselves wholeheartedly into the play and barely noticed the weather. Joshua passed the closed door to the ballroom and heard raucous laughter coming from within. To his considerable satisfaction, Lady Catherine had taken over chaperone duties from Mrs. Bingley.

  “I insist upon knowing how the play ends,” he heard his aunt insist. “How can I be sure it is suitable for Anne to be involved with if I do not know the particulars?”

  Joshua heard Asquith reply in a low voice but could not make out what he said.

  “That is all very well, Mr. Asquith, but I do not see why Mrs. Bingley should know it all, yet I cannot be trusted with that information.” She paused briefly, permitting Asquith to speak. “Yes, yes, I understand she has been sworn to secrecy but I am well able to keep a secret myself.”

  Having satisfied himself that Lady Catherine had no intention of leaving the ballroom, Joshua did not linger to hear how the matter was resolved. His aunt being otherwise engaged gave him a legitimate reason to delay telling her of his decision not to marry Anne. He strode away from the ballroom, thinking about Rosings. If he were to become master of such a rich estate, his future would be secure. He would also be in a position to help his ungrateful brother restore the Braithwaite estate to its former glory. Why the devil was he even hesitating?