Compassion Be Damned: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance (Last Hope Book 4)

by Rebecca Royce

  Sometime later, I roused to the knock on the door with the splitting headache that came with healings. Maybe the train people needed something from me. I managed to get to the door and swung it open. The five guys from earlier were there. I rubbed my eyes. Was I still dreaming?

  “Hi, Sister, are you okay?” Paden scooted by me into the room, the others followed, Titus going last. He shut the door behind him.

  “Ah, no. This is the rebound time. I have to recover from the healing. What are you doing here? This is the train.” I was suddenly aware of movement beneath my feet. I’d never been on one before. I grabbed the side of the bed, suddenly not sure I had my feet under me. Maybe I was not made for travel.

  Zeke took my arm. “Here.” He led me over to the bed. “Sit down.”

  I took the suggestion and felt marginally better, less likely to hit my head on something. “How are you here? This is a train.”

  Paden sat next to me. “I bought us tickets. Even before we realized what you were, we weren’t going to leave you alone.”

  “That’s very nice of you, but it might be best if you got off at the next stop. I’m surrounded by danger. This could be a risk for you.”

  “Well then,” Ryland spoke from where he stood by the window, “you need guards.”

  I took what I hoped was a steadying breath. “I’m afraid there isn’t a thing you can do. This might be shocking, but Sister Katrina is possessed by a Darkness that now wants me. For whatever reason, she’s fine with that thing holding her and desiring me. Not sure exactly why. But for three years she’s held me prisoner, and every night the Darkness visits and tries to take me. So far, he hasn’t managed to break through, but he truly believes he can. He’ll never stop trying.” I sagged backward to lie on the bed, my head nearly hitting the wall. Placing my arm over my eyes, I tried to shut out existence. “It’s almost time for him to try. You should go.”

  A hand touched my knee, and I moved my arm to see who wanted my attention. It was Titus. “We know Katrina is possessed. We know more than most. We were her guards for a while. She kept us under control with a spell. But we broke free. She kept you locked up for three years? Did any of you know?” He looked at the others who each shook their head.

  I held up my hand. “I didn’t ever see you guys. The same five always came. It wasn’t you.”

  Paden sighed. “We couldn’t have helped even if we did know. She had us fully under control. We did horrible things. I’m just glad we didn’t hurt you.”

  “Well, the Darkness is coming and…”

  Like I’d called it to me, the shadow on the wall behind Jett moved. I gasped. It was here. They had to get out. “Jett, I need you to move now. He will hurt you. Kill you. Please, move.” I jumped to my feet, forgetting the horrific train, and I tugged him to me. He in turn shoved me behind him.

  “Damn,” he whispered. “That shadow is moving.”

  “That’s the Darkness. You all need to leave. I can fend him off, or at least I have been until now. You have no chance against him.”

  When Titus spoke, it was through clenched teeth. “We are sworn to protect the Sisters. We have failed thus far. Don’t ask us to do less than our best for you.”

  “You’re mine, Krystal.” The demon spoke to me. “With your powers I will eat the Earth.”

  He always said that, which always led me to counter with, “I think you have mixed me up with someone else. I don’t have those kinds of powers. I can’t even exorcise a demon.”

  He laughed. I hated the sound.

  “Go, now. Go.” I shoved at Jett and then Ryland who was second closest to me. “I can’t go through this worrying about you.”

  Paden jumped to his feet. “Shit, Titus, she’s right.”

  “I know. Sister, we won’t be far. I hate this.” They filed out the door, each of them staring at the Darkness. Zeke hit the wall. “I don’t run, Titus.”

  “We’re not running. Sisters have to do what Sisters do.” And then they were out and the door closed behind them.

  The Darkness swirled around me. I usually tried to take him on sitting down. I’d scrunch into a little ball and just wait until it was over. He was making progress. I used to just slightly feel his battering against me. These days it was utter agony.

  I stood this time. I didn’t know how long it would take for me to get to Anne, but until then I was going to be strong every day. I would face the Darkness on my feet.

  “I’m so happy you told them to leave you alone. I love being alone with you.” The Darkness pushed at me, testing me, and goosebumps broke out on my skin. “Someday you will be mine, and I’m going to love you so much more than I do Katrina. It’s so much better when you have to work for it. Don’t you think?”

  I didn’t even want to think about what he meant by that. I meant, I understood it just fine, but I wasn’t going to picture it. “I bet Katrina is nice and cozy. Stay with her.”

  “There is a time limit for all mortal flesh. She understood this going in, and if she’s a good girl, on the way out she gets the reward of eternal power in the other world.”

  I didn’t buy his deception for a second. “What a load of tremendous nonsense. If that’s what you are selling, I’m not purchasing. You use them up, and you spit them out. If the eternal reward you’re talking about was so wonderful you’d have stayed there yourself. You prey on the scared. Well, it turns out I’m not that.”

  I was lying, of course. Every night I was scared out of my wits.

  “I have been patient with you. But no more.”

  I lifted off the ground. I couldn’t see his hands on me, which meant he worked his will over me some other way. Katrina could cast spells. Probably this thing could do it as well. I swung my legs around, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t break free. I screamed out in frustration as he swung me against the wall. My body shook from the force. I saw stars.

  “I wanted your body whole, but I can always fix it with your powers.”

  I laughed even though it hurt and there was absolutely nothing funny. “I’ve got news for you, I can’t heal myself. The irony of my powers. Healer can’t heal herself.”

  “Oh, child.” The Darkness laughed. “How little you know your own powers. Too bad you never will now.”

  He swung me again and right as I would have hit the wall, Titus burst through the door followed immediately by the rest. It was Paden who caught me.

  “No.” I shook my head, unable to move the rest of my body. “He’ll hurt you.”

  “Let him.”

  The Darkness charged, and my world went black.

  I woke up cradled in a warm blanket, my head in Paden’s lap. The bottom half of my body was on Jett. Ryland guarded the door. Titus stood by the window, looking out, and Zeke sat on the floor in front of me.

  “Hey,” he said when I opened my eyes, and everyone shifted. “You okay?”

  I rubbed my face. I wasn’t possessed. That was something. “Think so. How are all of you?”

  Titus crossed over to me and squatted down. “How do you feel? It slammed at you, Paden felt it, and then we all watched it tear away. So, it’s not inside of you.”

  I sighed. “Short night. Usually he’d go for hours. I wonder why not tonight?”

  Jett leaned over to touch the side of my face. “He didn’t share his reasons.”

  “I imagine not.”

  I looked up at Paden. “Are you okay?”

  “Didn’t get me at all. I’m not who he wanted. Thanks for asking.” He looked at Titus and nodded. Were they communicating silently?

  “Sister Krystal, you were incredibly strong back there. It was really something to see. We hope you’ll forgive us, we couldn’t remain in the hall. It just felt wrong.”

  I waved my hand. “Thank you for being there. It did help to have you.”

  “Good.” Ryland nodded. “That’s what we hoped.”

  Jett ran a hand through his blond hair. “Ask her, Titus.”

  “Ask me?” I looked at
all of them.

  Titus shook his head. “Okay, no sugarcoating. We did some bad things. We were bespelled, but so what? You just fought Darkness as we should have. We’re ashamed; we’re looking for redemption. One of those things is to go face Sister Mika and her people at Anne’s compound.” He scratched his chin. A day or so worth of stubble had grown on his olive skin. “We would like, until we can get there, to be your guards. Officially. There, you might change your mind. I’m sure Anne has guards there who haven’t done what we did. Please let us see to you until then.”

  I sighed. “Titus, that’s a lovely offer, but I don’t think I’m going to be doing anything at all worth guarding. You saw me. I don’t have powers to affect demons. I’m going to get attacked at night and that’ll be about it.”

  Paden leaned forward, helping me sit up. “Please, Sister, we believe we could be of use to you. Let us try. You can change your mind if you hate it. We were Katrina’s guards, but we ran errands and did tasks. We didn’t do what we trained for. Before her, we trained other guards but didn’t have our own Sister. Let us do this, please?”

  They all stared at me with big eyes. Their emotions should have been hidden. They were trying to, that was for sure. But beneath their benign gazes, I found something I rarely saw even before I was locked up—hope.

  I wouldn’t be just another person to destroy the world for them. They needed redemption, and it had been so long since I’d had anyone to talk to. For a little while, maybe it would be like having friends.

  “Okay. You can get out of it, too, if you hate it.”

  Zeke squeezed my hand. “We won’t let you down.”

  I believed him. I hoped it wasn’t the other way around.

  Chapter 3

  In the morning, I woke with an aching head and every muscle in my body protesting. A dim light came through the window. I’d been trapped so long in a room alone, I expected to be swarmed by anxiety to wake somewhere new, but none came. Slow, steady breathing caught my attention, and I turned slightly to see Zeke lying on the floor, a pillow beneath his head and nothing else to make him comfortable. His eyes were closed. Had he spent the whole night there?

  I didn’t remember going to sleep. My last memory came after telling them they could be my guards. Then we’d sort of talked about getting some food, and I must have conked out. I sat up slowly. The bed creaked and Zeke’s eyes flew open.

  “Sister.” He was on his feet. “You okay?”

  “Sure.” I stood carefully, and I wasn’t able to hold back the groan. “Fine. Yesterday was a lot, but I am resilient.” I needed to pee and shower. I didn’t want to do either of those things with Zeke watching. He was… stunningly handsome. I hadn’t stopped to consider how good-looking the five of them were the day before, but they all really were.

  In front of me, Zeke looked like he’d been chiseled out of stone. He put his hand on my arm. “Easy there.”

  “I’m not going to fall. I’m pretty tough.” I didn’t really know if I was or not. I’d never been quite beat up the way that the Darkness had the night before, but I would survive. I had to. “I, ah, could use a shower and the bathroom.”

  My cabin had both attached. He widened his eyes. “Right. Sure. Yes, Sister. Have some privacy, please. I’ll step right outside into the hall and wait for you to come out.”

  I bit down on my lip. “Aspen said I should stay inside.”

  He nodded. “I don’t know who Aspen is.”

  “Aspen rescued me. She says she’s not a Sister. I don’t know what exactly to make of her. She yelled at a bird to show me how to get here. He shifted into a human. And she told me to stay in my room.”

  Zeke touched the side of my shirt, running his hand down it. “Right. We recently figured out that bird. Bit of a repressed memory or something. We can kind of remember him. His name is Reed, but everyone calls him Brother Raven.”

  I wanted to hear more about this, but the whole have to pee thing was really riding me hard. “Give me a minute.”

  “Sure, yes.” He backed up.

  I put out my hands in front of me. “Zeke, wait a second.”

  He spun around. “What do you need?”

  I pointed at the bathroom. “Do you want to, you know, use it first?”

  He raised his eyebrows. “No, you can.”

  I couldn’t believe we were having this back and forth. “I’m going to be a while. You go first.”

  He scratched his chin. “Okay, I’ll be fast.”

  Was this what having guards were like for all the Sisters? Probably not. Most of the time they lived very separately. I doubted very much that they ever shared bathrooms. I stumble-walked over to the window. Between the moving train and the way my body felt, I would be lucky if I could move at all today. My stomach grumbled. I was going to have to figure out food, too. The guards needed to eat, as well. The logistics offered fresh complications.

  When I’d woken in my prison the day before, I hadn’t anticipated change in any form. My head was clearer. It hadn’t occurred to me, but it really was. The fuzziness around the edges began clearing the second I’d met those five men and there had been increasing improvement since then. Maybe it was because I had people to speak with?

  Zeke exited the bathroom. “Thanks.”

  “Okay, I’ll try not to be long.”

  “Take your time.” He pointed at the door. “I’ll be right out there.”

  Zeke swung open the door, and I heard an oomph. It turned out Titus was sitting on the ground.

  “Hey man.” Zeke laughed. “I didn’t know you were going to be there.”

  “Yeah, well, I thought you might need some help. And, I wanted to be available.” He rose. “Hi, Sister.”

  I nodded. As with Zeke before, I was suddenly aware of how handsome Titus was. His dark, olive skin and long hair looked soft. I forced myself to glance away and go into the bathroom to meet some basic human needs. During my incarceration, I’d relied on my routine. That was how I got through my day. I cleaned very specifically. I did things in a certain order over and over.

  I wasn’t ready to give it up.

  Maybe once I got to Anne’s I could vary my day. I would do it just to prove I could.

  I only had my one outfit so I dressed in the same clothes after I’d washed up as best I could. I stared at myself in the mirror. There were dark circles under my eyes, and despite the fact that I would always be big boned and curvy, I somehow appeared gaunt as well, as though I wasn’t as nourished as I should have been.

  My hair was dull. Blah blonde and uninteresting. Once, I’d had a bit of a shine to it, but no longer. I leaned against the sink, holding onto it. I hadn’t had a mirror while I’d been locked up. I’d known my hair had gotten long but not how long it actually was. I was going to need to cut it off. If I had scissors I’d do it now.

  I waited for the dizziness to go away. I’d been through a lot, but so had so many others. We lived in a time of apocalypse. The world was ending. Demons infected most of the population. People died of starvation. So I spent a lot of time locked in a room, I didn’t get to hold the medal on suffering. I was nothing.

  By Divinity, if I were being honest, I was lucky.

  I got out, and I had five guys offering to guard me until I reached Anne. I had a bird who could shift trying to help. A woman named Aspen who wasn’t a Sister yet risked her life for mine.

  I was more than lucky—I’d been blessed. I had to remember to hold on to the idea. I had to be grateful. I had to be thankful.

  When I left the bathroom, I found the compartment empty. Zeke waited in the hall. And Titus, too, apparently. Why had I let them leave the room? They could have stayed right where they were. It was sweet of them to try to give me privacy.

  These guys were nice. The guards I’d interacted with had never been this polite. Maybe it was being around Katrina. Perhaps just spending so much time around the Darkness made everyone mean. I opened the door. All five of the guys were out there. They made an inti
midating grouping. I wouldn’t want to try to walk past them.

  My stomach roiled as my brain reminded me I was on the hellish train. “Hi.”

  Some version of hello was said in unison, and I tried to smile. “I don’t think I’m cut out for train travel.”

  Jett extended his hand. “Sister, hold onto me.”

  “I… I don’t know if I should leave the room.” I looked down at the floor. “I don’t mean to be fearful, but Aspen told me to stay inside the room until I got to Anne.”

  Jett linked our hands together, but didn’t make any moves to tug me anywhere I didn’t want to go. We all just stood there and then, finally, Titus spoke.

  “This Aspen person. I’m grateful she saved you. But she couldn’t have known you’d bump into us.”

  Paden raised his eyebrows. “Or if she did, she couldn’t know we weren’t under the influence of Katrina’s magic anymore.”

  “Sisters have guards to keep them safe. You can trust us to protect you in the dining car, on the way there and back. How did she expect you to eat?” Titus finished.

  It was a reasonable question. “I suppose you’re right. I’m… I’m getting clearer, but I’ve spent three years pretty much alone. I might not always be exactly on point right now.”

  Ryland’s smile was fast. “Then you stumbled upon the right crowd, for sure.”

  I laughed, which in turn seemed to make them all laugh. “I guess the dining car, then?”

  More than willing to not be cooped up, I followed them to where the food would be served. The train was old, but then what in our lives wasn’t? With the world ending, people were hardly innovating new things. I supposed we were lucky the train ran at all. We’d know the end of the world was really imminent when they stopped. Or maybe not. What did I know anyway?

  The crowd in the dining car was quiet, people speaking in low voices or not talking at all. When I made to get in line, Jett tugged me toward him. “Let’s sit. You’re not steady with the movement, and I’d rather have you secured.”

  “Do you suppose I’m at risk here?”

  Ryland leaned over to whisper in my ear. “We’re going to suppose you’re at risk anywhere. You still have your eyes. That’s a good thing. If they’d paled out, we’d be even more concerned. You don’t have a hood, which personally I prefer because I really like looking at your face, and that makes you not quite as noticeable.”