by Mary Monroe
Jeffrey told me all about that fleabag motel you checked into. I told you that you’re welcome to stay with me as long as you want to—rent free. Love, Elbert.
There was no way in the world I was going to live under the same roof with Elbert. Not even on a temporary basis. His mother, Alma, was another version of Bertha. What would be the point of me moving into another house where I’d probably end up being another needy old woman’s caregiver? One of the few times I’d accompanied Elbert to his house, Alma had practically coerced me into giving her a back rub and a perm, and she’d dropped all kinds of hints about things I could do for her on my “next visit” to her house. In addition to all that, when I went to the bingo hall or some church event with Elbert, if Bertha didn’t tag along, Alma did.
I had no desire to see or talk to him any time soon. I decided to text him back and let him know I was doing just fine so that he would stop inviting me to move in with him and his mama. I would never be anything more to Elbert than a friend. I knew that it would be better for him, and me, for us to stop going out together, because it was only giving him false hope. I planned to ease out of our relationship altogether, but not until I had locked Calvin into something much more secure than what I had now.
In the meantime, I was going to do all I could to get over the pain Libby and Marshall had caused me. One of the things I wanted to do was visit Bertha’s grave and put flowers on it. There were two cemeteries in South Bay City. At ten minutes to two, I gave Jeffrey a call and asked which one she had been buried in. “Um . . . neither one,” he muttered.
“What?” I wheezed. “Bertha didn’t want to be cremated and she made sure everybody knew that. Is that what they did with her body?”
“Yes and no.”
“Did they or did they not?”
“Lola, this is a ghoulish subject, especially for a Saturday afternoon. Do you want me to come to your place later today, or would you like to meet me somewhere and we can discuss this then?”
“I can’t wait that long. Tell me now,” I insisted.
Jeffrey sucked in some air and groaned. When he started talking again, his voice was so low I could barely hear him. “I hope you have some alcohol, because by the time you hear what I’m about to tell you, you’ll need some.”
“I have plenty. Do you think I should have a drink before you tell me?”
“Yes. I think you’d better do just that. This is not going to be easy on you, or me.”
I put Jeffrey on hold, ran into the kitchen, and fixed myself a tall glass of rum and Coke. I took a long pull on my way back to the living room. “Jeffrey, I’m back.” I drank some more and then I dropped down onto the couch. Jeffrey proceeded to share information with me that was about to make my blood boil.
“An hour before Bertha took her last breath, Marshall called up one of his friends whose father is connected to a med school. People donate bodies to them for scientific research. To make a long story short, he and Libby wanted to dispose of their mother’s remains as cheaply as possible.”
So many things happened to me in the next few seconds, I was surprised I was still lucid enough to form my next sentence. I gasped, my jaw dropped, my heart skipped a beat, and a pain shot up my spine like a dagger. “Are you telling me that they wanted to sell their mother’s body to science?” The words left such a foul taste in my mouth, I had to finish my drink in one gulp. The kick it gave my brain was nothing compared to the kick of what I’d just heard.
“I don’t know if there is a profit to be made in these situations, but according to a website I visited, the donation program usually covers the cost of burial. So I guess you could look at that as a profit.”
“Wait a minute. I’m not following you. I thought you said they didn’t have her buried.”
“Let me finish. They didn’t have her buried. The program also does the embalming and they cover the cost of cremation after they’re done with the body. Libby and Marshall got downright giddy when they heard how much money they could save by donating their mother’s body to science.”
“What about that big funeral? Didn’t they have to pay for that?”
“Lola, Bertha’s funeral was nothing more than a dog and pony show. And it didn’t cost Libby and Marshall a plugged nickel.”
“Who paid for it? Bertha’s church?”
“I’ll get to that in a moment. Anyway, I tried to talk them out of it, but it did no good. Later that night when I got in touch with Bertha’s folks in Mississippi and told them what Libby and Marshall were planning to do, her cousin Melvin and his wife boarded the next available flight. When they arrived less than twelve hours after I’d called them, they made such a ruckus, Libby and Marshall changed their tune. They still balked about having to pay for a funeral. Melvin offered to pay for it, so they agreed to let him take Bertha’s body back to Mississippi so she could be laid to rest closer to her parents and other family, people who really loved her. Melvin was so angry, he didn’t want his cousin to be near her children any longer. Not even in death.”
I was in tears by the time Jeffrey stopped talking. “Bertha must be rolling over in her grave. I didn’t realize just how selfish, stingy, greedy, and evil Libby and Marshall really were until today,” I said as I wiped tears off my face. “I’m glad I’ll never have to deal with them again.”
“I feel the same way. I’m sorry it took so long for me to see them for the monsters they really are. I still have feelings for Libby, and we’ll be forever connected because we have a child together, but I’m done with her.” Jeffrey gave a snort of disgust. “Do you still want to meet somewhere for a drink? I’m not busy right now, so I could meet you right away. Today is half price beer at the Green Rose bar.”
“No, I’m doing fine with what I have. I just want to sit here and think about everything you told me.”
“Lola, don’t do that. It’ll only make you feel worse. I didn’t even want to tell you about this, because I knew it would hurt you, but I’m glad I did. Reverend Clyde and a few other people know about it, and they are just as outraged as I am. I knew that you’d eventually hear about it, and I’m glad you heard it from me.”
“Thanks, Jeffrey. Please keep in touch.”
“I will. Now, you go on with your life. You’ve been looking for someone special to share it with for a long time, and I know you’ll find him soon.”
“I know I will too,” I said.
Chapter 45
Joan
THIS FRIDAY STARTED OFF LIKE ANY OTHER DAY IN MY CRAZY LIFE. I didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, but I would soon find out how wrong I was.
I made breakfast for Junior and Reed, and the minute they left, I turned on my computer and ordered a few items off Amazon. I was in a pretty good mood, and one of the reasons was because Lola was feeling so much better. She had been in her new residence a little over a week, and things were really looking up for her, and for me. Reed was leaving to go to L.A. with Dr. Mansfield later tonight, so I’d have another whole weekend break away from him and I was really looking forward to it.
It was only eight a.m., but I was feeling horny. The way Reed had been looking at me the past couple of days, I knew it was just a matter of time before I had to endure another one of his clumsy minute-long trysts, and that would not be enough to hold me over until I could get some real sex.
I had a message from my lawyer honey and favorite hookup, John Walden, and one from Ezra, my second favorite hookup. John just wanted me to know that I was on his mind. Ezra wanted to let me know he’d be in town again in a couple of weeks to speak at another one of the boring plastic surgeon conferences and he definitely wanted to see me. He also assured me that his offer to bring me to Florida to get the free cosmetic surgery was still open, which was good news. I was glad to hear that. I had noticed that my butt looked like it had shifted down an inch or two, and I needed to get it taken care of before somebody else noticed (Ezra had already noticed . . . ) . Before I could respond to either one, I h
eard the front door open. I wasted no time turning off my computer. When I got to the living room, I was surprised to see Reed sitting on the couch staring at the wall. He’d just left an hour ago. This time his puppy-dog face was so long, he resembled a basset hound.
“Why are you looking so gloomy? What’s the matter with you now?” I asked gruffly with my hands on my hips. I approached the couch and stopped in front of him. “And what did you come back home for?”
“Joan, this is going to be difficult, so you’d better sit down.” His voice was so low and hoarse, he sounded nothing like himself. He lowered his head and rubbed the back of his neck.
“What’s going on?” I asked, still standing in the middle of the floor with my hands on my hips. I stared at him and recalled something peculiar that he’d said to someone on the telephone last night. A few minutes before ten, I’d walked into the kitchen just as he was about to end a telephone call.
“Please pray for me,” he told the person on the other end. A moment later, he hung up and turned around. He was surprised to see me standing in the doorway. “Oh, I was just talking to Dr. Shelby,” he claimed.
“You asked your podiatrist to pray for you?”
“Yes, I did.” He still had the phone in his hand and almost dropped it when he returned it to its cradle.
“The only thing wrong with your feet are your bunions, and they are not so bad that somebody needs to pray for you. And if they were, shouldn’t you be asking a preacher to pray for you?”
“A lot of my patients ask me to pray for them—even for something as minor as a cleaning.”
I’d laughed it off and put it out of my mind, until now. Something told me that I was not going to laugh about what he had to tell me this time—especially if he thought it was something I needed to sit down to hear. I eased down onto the opposite end of the couch.
There were tears in his eyes when he looked at me. “I . . . I . . . our marriage is a j-j-joke,” he stammered.
I gave Reed a blank look and shrugged. “Our marriage has been a joke for a long time. I suggested we get a divorce years ago, but you made it clear that you would never give me one! I feel more like your hostage than your wife. You don’t even have to threaten to commit suicide to make me stay with you anymore. You ought to know by now that I’m not going to leave you!”
“I know you’re not going to leave me, Joan. But . . . but I am going to leave you.”
I blinked and shook my head. “What the hell—what are you trying to tell me?”
“I want a divorce. I’m in love with another woman, and I want to marry her.”
Everything suddenly seemed surreal. I stood up and looked at Reed through narrowed eyes. I got so dizzy, it felt like I’d just been sucked into a whirlpool. A split second later, my head started throbbing and my thoughts were doing push-ups. Only a few seconds had passed since Reed’s confession, but it seemed like hours. I had to respond before I lost touch with reality and slid into a deep daze. I didn’t even think about what I said next. The words just rolled out of my mouth as if they had a life of their own. “You’re divorcing me so you can marry another woman?” I clapped my hands together, shook my head, and slapped my ears because I could not believe what I was hearing. “You’ve got to be kidding!” I boomed.
“No, I’m not kidding. You ought to know better. Do you think I’d kid about something this serious?” he said sharply.
“Who is this woman?”
“Her name is not important—”
“You’re leaving me to marry another woman—the hell her name is not important! When did this shit start?”
Reed rolled his eyes and gave me an exasperated look. “There is no need to use profanity, Joan. Your potty mouth is one of your biggest problems.”
His words made my ears pop. “You are my biggest problem! I deserve to know when you started seeing a woman that you want to leave me for!”
“We’ve been seeing each other for quite some time now,” he said in a very low voice.
“When and where?”
“I didn’t go hiking with Dr. Weinstein a couple of weeks ago . . .”
“You spent that weekend with your whore?”
He nodded. “Joan, do not call her that.” He was so damn brazen, a pensive smile appeared on his face as he continued. “She’s a lovely woman.”
I let his words sink in. When the full impact hit me, I got twice as angry. By now, my head was spinning so fast and hard I was actually afraid that I was in the first stage of a nervous breakdown. Somehow, I managed to maintain enough composure to continue speaking without babbling incoherently. Words spurted out of my mouth like a geyser. “Lovely women don’t break up other women’s homes! How dare you disrespect me by praising your bitch to my face!” I yelled, stomping my foot. “All this time, you’ve been breathing down my neck, accusing me of seeing other men, and threatening to kill yourself if I left you! And you were with another woman ALL THIS TIME?”
Reed held up his hands. “No, not ‘all this time,’ so you don’t need to go there. It . . . it’s only been a few months.”
“A few months? So this shit was already going on when we went to that cookout at your parents’ house back in March? In case you don’t remember, while we were there you told me that I was the sexiest, most beautiful woman in the world and how lucky you were to have such a beautiful and sexy woman.” I stomped my foot again and shook my fist at him.
“I’m still a lucky man. . . .”
“You won’t think that by the time I get through with your ashy black ass!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he whimpered.
“You’ll find out soon enough!” I shrieked. “Tell me this, you no-good piece of shit! Why did you wait so long to come clean? Why are you telling me all this now? I never suspected that you were cheating on me, so you could have been with whoever the bitch is forever and I’d never have known!”
“Like I said, I’m going to marry her. I’m tired of lying and sneaking around.” Despite me yelling as loud as I could, he kept his voice at a normal volume and so casual, it made his confession feel even more painful. Leaving me for another woman was the last way I expected Reed to betray me. I had truly believed that his suicide was the only way he could cause me as much pain as I was feeling now.
“Well, congratulations, you bastard! She can have your sorry ass! I can be out of here in fifteen minutes!”
Reed crossed his legs, held up his hand, and shook his head. “No, I don’t want you to move out. I want you and Junior to stay on here. I’ve . . . I’ve already signed a lease for a house for me and my new lady friend.”
“Oh really? And where is this love bird’s nest?” I snarled.
“Pffft!” Reed gave me a snarky look and waved his hand. “None of your damn business!” He didn’t sound so casual now. His brows furrowed and his lips quivered. “Do you think I’m stupid enough to give you my new address so you can bring your wild ass over there and show out?”
“What if I need to get in touch with you in an emergency or something?”
“You can reach me on my cell phone, at my office, and you have my parents’ number. You can call any one, any time, any day, and I’ll get the message.” Reed snorted. “You’ll be getting the papers soon with all my lawyer’s contact information on it too. He’ll know where to reach me at all times, so if you don’t want to call any of the other numbers, you can call him.”
“So you already had this all planned out, huh? How long have you been cooking up this shit?”
“It makes no difference!” he snapped. He gave me a look of contempt and a dismissive wave. “I was afraid to tell you, so I had to work up enough nerve first.”
“You were afraid of me? Why you dickless, punk-ass, shit-breath, funky black bastard asshole!” This was the first time I’d used so much profanity in the same sentence.
“You and your colorful language!” I was coming undone and Reed was so insensitive, he actually snickered. “One thing for sure,
I am not going to miss your potty mouth!”
His words infuriated me. I had to move a few steps away from him because I was tempted to snatch his tongue out of his mouth. “Reed, I never thought you’d cheat on me.”
“I never thought I would either. But it is what it is,” he muttered.
“Does this have anything to do with me not wanting to have another child?”
Reed dropped his head and refused to look at me. I stomped my foot again. “Can’t you even look at me and answer my question?”
He still didn’t look at me when he announced, “She . . . she’s also pregnant with my child.”
“GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I KILL YOU!” I roared. My chest was so tight and my mouth so dry, I could barely speak, so I didn’t get to tell him that he was going to be potted meat by the time I got through with him.
Reed’s eyes got big and his mouth dropped open, but he didn’t say another word. He sprang up off the couch and ran out the door as if the building had just been bombed.
Chapter 46
Lola
BY SIX P.M. FRIDAY EVENING, I HAD PUT AWAY EVERYTHING THAT Joan had bought for me, as well as a few other items I had purchased at Target on my way home from work. All I wanted to do now was kick back with a glass of wine, admire my new home, and fantasize about what I was going to do with Calvin when we got together again.
Just as I was about to fix myself a sandwich, somebody started pounding on my front door so hard it sounded as if they were trying to knock it down. I had not given my new address to Jeffrey or Elbert yet, so I knew it wasn’t one of them. I had just spoken to my landlady a few minutes ago, so I knew it wasn’t her either. I had seen some pretty scary-looking dudes going in and out of the halfway house next door, so I didn’t know what to expect.
The door didn’t have a peephole, and I was not about to open it until I knew who was outside. “Who is it?” I hollered, wishing I had grabbed a knife off the kitchen counter in case I needed to defend myself.
